Our Endless Summer Part 1
by Not2old4this
Summary: Quentin finds his stride, Margo finds trouble and strings are crossing. The roadtrippers return to find Orlando to be different from the town they left just days before. It's the same town, how they are perceived has changed completely, they are legends. In Part 1 Quentin and his friends are living the dream summer. Please don't yell at me. If you don't like it stop reading it.


From the Writer:

I offer my apologies to Mr. John Green, the Author of _Paper Towns,_ for hijacking his wonderful characters from his riveting novel to concoct my poorly written, lame, unedited tale with run on sentences, shaky grammar and terrible punctuation. That said, his brilliant, open for interpretation ending left me wanting more as it did for most readers. It bothered me so much I decided to make up my own version of what happened next, but I went a different way than other people tried to do. What did all the characters do after Quentin and Margo parted ways? There was a next day, they had to get back home and live their lives. It was a cathartic experience that changed each of them and changed everyone's perception of them.

Additionally, I acknowledge the quotes inserted in the story from F. Scott Fitzgerald's _The Great Gatsby,_ the iconic American novel written in the first person. Upon reading _Paper Towns_ I was reminded that _Gatsby_ is written from one character's POV as well. Having not read it in years, I downloaded it and reread it after reading _Paper Towns._ I acknowledge my references to _Gone with the Wind,_ and anything else I may have inadvertently lifted from anything without realizing that I did so.

I didn't do this for any reason except to do it. I don't envision myself as one of the characters, nor am I trying to relive my youth, but I did have fun doing it. I just made it up as I went along, so if you like it, great. If you don't, then don't read it. I don't need to hear how bad it is because I already know it is lame. Anyway, here it is; _Our Endless Summer,_ Quentin finds his stride, Margo finds trouble and strings are crossing as never before.

Prologue

In Anglo-Saxon mythology, when the mighty warrior Beowulf returns to Heorot with the severed head of the swamp monster Grendel, the grateful King Hrothgar rewards Beowulf and his warriors with a great feast in the magnificent hall, showering them with treasure, and presenting them horses with gold headplates. Beowulf and his 14 chosen warriors become living legends, their tale of adventure handed down through the ages.

Thus it is for the returning roadtrippers, no severed head required, as the tale of their epic Margoquest precedes their triumphant return to Orlando courtesy of Lacey's Snapchat story. The trip home has a much different feel. After a quick, but mostly silent stop at the WalMart in the Broome County Plaza near Binghamton, NY, to buy some tee shirts and gym shorts, they are southbound again. Quentin is in the left seat, two hands on the wheel, eyes transfixed on the endless ribbon that is an interstate highway. Radar, riding shotgun, is passing the time on his phone, alternating between his obsession with Omnictionary maintenance and texting Angela, who is currently NOT returning his texts. Ben and Lacey are huddled together in the third seat, aka the bedroom, occasionally whispering, loathe to disturb the wakelike silence inside the Dreidel. Ben sealed this unlikely deal on the way to Agloe during a game of "metaphysical I spy" with his "Lacey…the one you can't see." Lacey realized she finally found the boy who looked at her and sees a person beyond her stunning good looks. They are falling for each other as the hours pass and the road rolls under the minivan.

The wake doesn't last too long though, kids are kids and the four soon revert to form. Quentin checks his rear view, gets Radar's attention with a look and a wry smile and the mocking insults, temporarily on hold during the Margo catharsis, resume without missing a beat. Radar turns and fires the first shot to the back of the minivan, "stooooooppppp…my eyes are burning". This is immediately followed by a chorus of "kissing Ben is so wrong that…"insults. Lacey quickly responds by kissing him more and telling them how sweet he is. Q and Radar resort to gagging and choking noises and the dismal spell is broken. The stereo is on now, someone's phone playlist is pumping through the speakers, laughter fills the vessel and Agloe suddenly seems far away. Also, everyone is exhausted. They all just want to get home, get some real sleep and regroup. They don't yet realize that they are returning to an Orlando that is a lot different than the one they left. It sure does look the same as they roll into town, only three days have passed, but for them, their Orlando, how everyone else sees them is changed forever. Short version…they are living legends, they rule.

PART 1

Chapter 1 - We're Baaaack!

The dream always begins the same way. I'm laying on my back, Margo is on her side, sound asleep, her leg thrown over mine, her arm draped across my chest and her head resting comfortably on my shoulder. It is exactly as I had imagined it in SeaWorld, and exactly as it occurred in the tall grass of Agloe. I can feel her measured breathing on my neck, it seems as real as the day it happened.

I am getting way ahead of myself however. We have been home about a day and a half and the first order of business (after about 15 hours of sleep for everyone but myself) for all returning heroes was relationship repair and maintenance. All of us had to reckon with our parents, you know, those people we left sitting in the stands at the gym watching every other kid pick up the sheepskin, and watching every other family pose for photos, and pat their kid on the back, and tell them how proud they were, while our parents wondered _where the hell is my kid?_ This graduation ritual is very meaningful to parents, and we were each reminded of it in no uncertain terms. The ranking of parental disappointment from least to most is:

Least, The Starlings; Ben is the last of four kids to graduate so his mom and dad have kinda seen it all. Also, for some unknown reason, they think that I am a good influence on Ben and they really like his new girlfriend.

Second: The Jacobsens; although I am an only child and had to listen to "how we were denied our only chance to see our son graduate" and similar tropes, my parents were actually quite happy that we found Margo alive and well. I knew that they were worried something horrible happened to Margo just as I was, and my explanation for missing graduation because I knew where to find her and had to see her was accepted at face value.

Third, the Pembertons; Lacey is an only child as well and upon comparing parental lecture notes afterward, we discovered, to our mild amusement that her parents must have somehow consulted with mine even though we are all but certain they have never met. Still, the mitigating circumstance of Lacey being upset for weeks about Margo's disappearance and that we actually found her, wasn't enough to earn her a complete reprieve.

Most, the Lincolns; Radar's mom and dad were pretty pissed. They couldn't understand why he would blow off graduation and drive thousands of miles to look for someone he didn't know even a little bit. Radar's argument that it was important to me and that we needed his navigational and computer skills or we would still be hopelessly lost fell on deaf ears.

Honorable mention, Angela; let's just say that she is mad at Radar and by extension all of us. She certainly has every reason to be mad considering what she and Radar had planned for graduation night, I'm guessing she felt jilted, left alone at graduation while Radar took off with his pals and some girl he hardly knows. Angela doesn't give a flying f*%# about what happened to Margo Roth Spiegelman…this is gonna be a major reclamation job. I am feeling guilty about the state of unrest between them. It seems like it is all my fault and it kinda is.

Dishonorable mention, The Spiegelmans; Not sure what was worse, Mrs. Spiegelman apologizing profusely to my mom and dad for my missing graduation because "I was under Margo's spell, dragged into the middle of all her antics and drama"; or seeing Ruthie Spiegelman burst into tears and run into her house when she and I made eye contact. The whole episode was tough to take, my dad just stood there with an annoyed look on his face, directed at me, while my mom explains to Mrs. Spiegelman that they weren't upset at all and were very happy to know that Margo was OK. Surprised…not, at the reaction of Mr. and Mrs. Spiegelman; they really didn't seem interested to know that their daughter was alive and well, nor care that Ruthie was upset that Margo didn't come home with us. I had been privy to one end of Margo's phone call to her mom and her little sister two days ago. Margo's mom told her that they changed the locks on the house, which seems silly considering Margo's skill set, and Ruthie just kept telling Margo she loved her and missed her. At the end of this awkward encounter I am tempted to tell Mrs. Spiegelman that she was 100% correct about one thing; I am indeed under Margo's spell and furthermore it is my intent remain so indefinitely.

While this painful encounter was unfolding, I could feel my phone repeatedly buzzing in my pocket.

Today 5:47 PM

Benners: We gotta do something about Angela, she is really mad at Radar.

Benners: Bro, really, you gotta talk to her or something, what are you doing?

Benners: Radar went to her house to see her but she wouldn't talk to him.

Benners: Bro, Helloooo!

Today 6:16

Lace: We're going to Vinny's for pizza, I'll pick you up.

Q: I'm not feelin it, thanks for the invite though.

Benners: We're like 2 minutes away dude, come outside.

Q: K

Read 6:13 PM

Lacey turns into the driveway just as I come out of the house, I hop in the back seat, not the same back seat that Margo and I used to crush a smelly catfish on the night of the mRs retribution tour. Lacey's parents bought her a new Audi Q5 SUV. Perhaps I had a hand in Lacey getting a beautiful new car for graduation "Hey guys, what's up?" I skip any reference to her cool new wheels, the guilt I feel recalling how I gleefully spray painted a blue M on the roof of her old car weighs on me. "Hi Q" Lacey cheerfully replies. Lacey is almost always happy and my long held disdain for her and everything she stood for, even though I didn't know her, now seems incredibly stupid on my part. Ben chimes in "Bro, you look a little down, what's the deal?" Ben is wearing what can only be described as a boyfriend shirt, obviously the beginning of the Lacey Pemberton Boyfriend Makeover Project. A project that is: 1: formidable 2: has the full cooperation of the makoveree and 3: being administered by an expert. "Just finished talking to Margo's parents." I replied. "It was dreadful, I'll fill you in later."

The real name of "Vinny's" is Siciliano's. It is this pizza joint turned restaurant, morphed into bar and restaurant and located in a strip mall near our Jefferson Park neighborhood. It was started by this Italian guy Vincenzo from New York who is actually originally from Sicily, hence the name. When we were little kids, it was a small hole in the wall pizza parlor, with only a couple of booths. My mom always got take out pizza from "Vinny's" not so much because it was close but because it was awesome. "Mia, How you kids doin" is the heavily accented greeting we get from Vinny as we walk through the takeout part of the restaurant. His sons manage the restaurant, and the bar / restaurant, but he is still the king of the pizza ovens, white apron, blue and white pinstripe pants, he looks the same as he did when we were in middle school. We all say hi to Vinny and keep moving to the restaurant part of Siciliano's where at this time of night, kids go to hang out and enjoy a slice of pizza.

We pass through the takeout part to the restaurant, Ben first, Lacey in tow, they are talking about something as they move toward an empty table along the opposite wall near a window. I'm right behind them and it seems as though a hush comes over the room as we go and sit down. I acknowledge with a smile some juniors I know a little bit from school and get several "Hey Quentin" or "Q, what's up" from some guys and a lot of giggling and whispering from some of the girls, all of which is new and weird to me. I have been in Vinny's many times with Ben and Radar when no one there even acknowledged our existence. I've spent years successfully honing my sensibilities to remain oblivious to those around me ignoring me. Not knowing what to make of this, I just shut it out and sit with Ben and Lacey who have already decided what we are ordering...actually Lacey decided what we are ordering, and she recites it to our waitress Ashley who is around our age and is alternately smiling at Ben and I while she takes the order. "We'll have a small white pizza with broccoli topping and two Hint bottled waters." Ashley the waitress looks me right in the eye, big smile and says "What would you like to drink Quentin?" This momentarily leaves me unable to respond because 1: I only know Ashley's name because of the badge she is wearing with one inch high letters spelling ASHLEY, 2: I've never seen this girl before but she knows my name, and 3: Just like my first encounter with Lacey in the hallway at school, I am dumbfounded that someone I've never spoken to knows who I am. I quickly recover, "I'll have a Sprite please." I first turn to Ben, then Lacey with a quizzical "WTF" look. "Bro, we're famous" says Ben while Lacey flashes an annoyed look in return. I'm unsure whether she was upset that I ordered what she deems to be an unhealthy drink, (she was), or that the waitress appeared to be flirting with both Ben and myself. I wave the whole thing off with a quick shrug, blurt out "whatever" and shut that out of my mind as well.

While we are waiting for the pizza to arrive the talk quickly turns to Radar and his current predicament, specifically what can we do to restore him to Angela's good graces. Lacey returns to her cheerful form, "Neither of us really know her like you do Q" she explains. "I was around her a little bit at prom, but after I got into it with Becca, I kinda disappeared for most of the night so I never really got to talk to her much." "Yea, neither did I" says Ben. Lacey swings her gaze to me and gives me the supersized eye roll, which makes me laugh. "Sweetie" she says looking right at him, "you couldn't talk to anybody for several hours as I recall." I'm replaying the lowlights of Ben's award winning performance at Becca Arrington's after prom party in my head, laughing even more while Ben can only hang his head and stare at the table. He quickly recovers though, reminding us again that he "shook up the world" by shattering the WPHS kegstand record.

The veggie pizza shows up on cue, getting Ben off the hook but apparently not me. "Q", Lacey continues as she pulls a slice from the pie and slides it onto her plate, then she cuts it in half discarding the crust end. "It has to be you, she knows you the best." As she talks, she cuts up the wedge end of the veggie pizza into bite size nuggets, then proceeds to use her fork to eat the broccoli only. "You had a couple of classes with her". I'm listening to Lacey, she has a way of holding your attention with her stunning baby blues, and I now realize what Ben meant when he told me Lacey has a weird relationship with food. Ben piles on, "You're really good at this stuff anyway Q, besides if you weren't looking for Margo, then Radar wouldn't have gone with you and he wouldn't be in Angela's doghouse…but then," he smiles, "we wouldn't all have the road trip either". While Ben is talking, Lacey gets two more slices, puts them on plates and gives one to Ben and slides one under my nose. "I'm not really hungry Lacey" I exclaim. "Quentin, you look tired, you aren't eating right, have some of this, it's good and good for you". Under duress, I take a bite and much to my surprise, it is pretty good. Lacey is observant, I'm tired but not because my of poor food choices. Anyway, I pick up my phone to snap a pic of the veggie pizza, telling Ben "I gotta send this to Radar, he'll never believe you and I are eating a veggie pizza".

Today 7:15PM

Q: Ben and I are at Vinny's with Lacey eating a veggie pizza! Check out the shirt on our boy Benners, who knew he was actually boyfriend material.

I did take a picture of the pizza, but at the proper angle to ensure that Ben in the boyfriend shirt, was in the shot I attached to the text.

Radar: It's…it's…horrible! What happened to all of his ratty tee shirts? Next thing you know he will be sporting a new hairdo or something. Wait…Q, you're eating a veggie pizza? Just stand up and walk out…don't look back, you could turn into an asparagus stalk or something!

Q: It's actually not bad, besides if I don't eat it, Lacey will be disappointed…and we'll have none of that.

Read 7:16 PM

"Bro, who are you texting…Radar?" Asks Ben. "Yup, sent him a pic of our veggie pizza, he recommended that I just walk away". Ben chuckles and Lacey frowns…"are you guys gonna make fun of me all night?" "Nooooo we say in unison as we nod our heads yes. "Ok Q, you still haven't told us how you're gonna get a chance talk to Angela." Ben says, quickly changing the subject, not wanting Lacey to get mad at him. "That's because I don't know where to begin. I can't to talk to Radar about it…he'll tell me to butt out. If I knew where she worked or hung out I could kinda show up and try to chat her up, but I really don't know that much about her. Plus, I really don't want to get in the middle of this even though it is my fault that she won't talk to him. Suppose I screw it up even more?" Lacey is looking right at me, smiling. "See those three girls over there sitting in the booth next to the take out door?" "Yeah" I respond tentatively, not at all liking where this is going. "They are Angela's friends, I've seen her with them a lot, why don't you go over there and find out where she works or something." "Wait a minute" I exclaim, "I thought you didn't know her well?" "I don't" Lacey replies, I always noticed her because she is so pretty, I never knew her name until prom." Ben quickly adds, "you're right Lace she is a hottie," which gets him a quick look but then she smiles and laughs. Ben whispers something to her, she blushes and playfully smacks him…"Ben Starling" she retorts in mock outrage, "I can't believe you just said that to me." Instantly, they are only focused on each other…it's like I'm sitting there by myself.

My first thought is that Lacey is obviously taking inventory of all the hot chicks, keeping an eye on them to ensure that she remains #1, (she is), my second thought is why am I halfway across the room heading for the takeout door. I don't remember deciding to do it but here I am, empty soda cup in hand, with a plan I don't remember making. "Q, you're cute when you're confident," I can hear Margo's admonition to me. OMG, I can't believe how much Margo changed me. I smile at the girls in the booth as I walk into the takeout area and ask Vinny for a refill, "eh, you bet kid" as he fills the cup. "Here ya go". I thank Vinny, if either of the sons are there, no refills, but Vinny is good to his customers. I turn back the way I came and as soon as I walk through the door one of the three friends of Angela girls says, "You're Marcus's friend aren't you." After a split second of who the hell is Marcus all over my face, I recover, "yes, I'm…" "Quentin…we know," says the girl who asked. She introduces herself as Lucy saying, "we're Angela's friends, she usually comes with us but couldn't come tonight, she had to work until eight." "That's unfortunate" I reply, "where does she work?" As I say this, I'm thinking, can it really be this easy? "JPark" says Lucy. One of the friends of Angela adds. "She's a lifeguard." "Cool" I say, but not so cool, I realize. JPark is the nickname for Jefferson Park Country Club, very tony, very expensive, long waiting list to join and certainly not a place where I can just show up and ask for Angela. Also, I now know that Angela's parents are members at JPark because they only hire kids of members to be lifeguards. Not exactly sure what to say next I turn to go when Lucy says, "I could text you next time we're going to Vinny's." Lucy has a conspiratorial look on her face, like she read my mind and knew what my mission was all along. "Yeah…that would be good." I give her my number as she punches it into her phone, hits send and a second later my phone buzzes, a text from Lucy with a couple of emojis. "Got it, thanks." I leave them with "Nice to meet you girls, have fun tonight." "Thanks Quentin, byyye," "byyye Quentin" and "byyye" follow me as I head back to our table. I sit down, Lacey makes a dumb face, "byye Quentin" she mocks, "Oh my God I can't take it" she says. Ben is laughing at Lacey's sarcastic impression of them, and laughing at me too. He attempts a "Thanks Quentin, byye" impression as well but just cracks up laughing.

They are still crushing me as I try to tell them that the mission was a success, "waaas iiiiittt" Lacey mimics while making a ditzy face, Ben is laughing and egging her on. It gets worse when Ashley the waitress comes by with the check. I grab it and pay for all of us, I feel so guilty because of everything we charged to Lacey's gas card on the trip to Agloe. "Don't worry

Lacey, I promise I'll pay you back for everything before the bill is due" I say. "Willlll youuuu," she responds. Lacey is on a roll now and Ben can't get enough of it. Ashley the waitress returns with the change, I give her a tip and she says "thanks Quentin, byyye" like it was scripted. Ben explodes with laughter and Lacey just tilts her head back and stares at the ceiling feigning disgust. I stand up, and make a beeline to the front door, following behind me I hear Lacey, "thaaanks Quentin, byyyyye." Mercifully, I reach the door but I can hear people snickering while Lacey pours it on.

Ben is enjoying every minute as he is mostly on the receiving end of mockery from Radar and myself. Also, I have no ammo to return fire because Lacey is…well…Lacey is awesome. We get to the car and they are both laughing almost hysterically at my expense. It is funny however and I am laughing with them. Lacey gives me a quick hug and says" Sorry Q, I just couldn't resist." "No worries" I reply. Ben quickly adds, "I'm not sorry, that was great, I've known you since like forever and that is the most anyone has ever roasted you." They hop in the car, but I don't. "You know, I'm just gonna walk home, it's not far and it is a nice night, plus, I don't want to be a third wheel here." "Quentin, you're not mad at me are you" asks Lacey. "No, not at all Lace, it was really funny…I didn't know you had it in you." Ben says, " Lacey, stop being nice to him, that made my night!" "No Benjamin, she says, flashing him a naughty look, your night is just getting started" "On that note, I'm departin…thanks for insisting I go along, I needed a few laughs." Ben gets in the last shot, "So did we." Lacey backs out of her space, she waves and Ben gives me the fighter pilot "thumbs up" as they drive away. I'm looking at a 20 minute walk home, which is good because I have a lot to think about.

Chapter 2- Maybe Someone Should Check My Basement for Pods

There is a cult classic movie shot in black and white in the 1950's entitled "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." The plot involves an alien invasion in plant form. Alien seeds are sown worldwide and the plants grow these large pods. When the pods are fully grown, the alien life forms emerge and take over the bodies of humans as they sleep. If you don't fall asleep, they cannot take over your body. The plot line pits those who have not yet had their bodies snatched vs. those who have. One of the telltale signs that your body has been snatched by an alien is pods in the basement of your home, giving rise to the saying "check his basement for pods."

I'm walking though our Jefferson Park neighborhood, headed for home. Walking these streets and pathways through the park are as familiar to me as walking though my house in the dark, I know exactly where I'm going and I am very comfortable here. Not so sure that I am comfortable with myself right now. I don't remember when I became the guy that everyone knows. When did I become the de facto arbiter of disagreements, the fixer of the broken and the righter of wrongs? When I went along with Margo on the retribution tour, we did stuff that I wouldn't have done on my own in a million years. Then she disappeared the next day, sending me on a frenzied, seemingly futile three week search for her. I became focused on where she might be to the exclusion of everything else. I was determined to find her…and find her I did, even though she "sure as shit didn't" want to be found. In retrospect, I can't stop thinking about how really worried I was that Margo was dead, and how gut wrenchingly horrible that made me feel. Despite all my worries and fears, I was able to keep it together as I always had hope that she was ok and I would find her. The elation I feel that Margo is alive is slowly being usurped by a sadness that I am afraid will overwhelm me.

My mind Is going a mile a minute as I walk, sometimes I just think too much. Also I'm tired, but I'm not getting much sleep. It is times like this, when I'm alone that I can't stop rehashing everything about the last 3 1/2 weeks. For me it is endless; my friends, my parents, graduation, the road trip and especially Margo. At various times over the last few weeks, I drove all of my friends nuts with my selfish, singular focus on finding Margo. All of them were mad at me at one point in time, I caused them to miss graduation, and almost got them killed. I'm responsible for all of our parents various levels of anger about missing graduation. When this all started, I was in love with Margo the enigma. Less than a month later, I am unconditionally in love with the real Margo, but my worst fear, that I'll never see her again hangs over me like the Sword of Damocles. These last few weeks have changed me, I just wonder who I've become, and what the hell happened to Quentin Jacobsen.

Thankfully, I'm almost home and I can find some mindless distraction. I cross the street toward my house and I look up at Margo's window just as I have for my entire life. It remains unchanged, Woody is still there, starting to fade already. What I wouldn't give to see that shade roll up, the window open and my favorite Ninja effortlessly emerge. I can hear her say; "Quentin…it's good to see you…how are you?" with her sexy, melodious voice. I COULD be with her right now. She ASKED me to come with her for God's sake…what the hell is wrong with me, I'm a frickin idiot. Just then I feel my phone buzz.

Today 8:36 PM

Radar: Are you guys still at Vinny's?

Q: No

Radar: What are you doing?

Q: I walked home, needed the fresh air. The lovebirds took off for points unknown. What are you doing?

Radar: Nothing really

Nothing really for Radar means he is completely revamping some perceived abomination on Omnictionary or writing a new program that allows one to search every site on the planet simultaneously with one keystroke, or something to that effect.

Q: I used some graduation money to buy GTA II for Xbox. Do you want to come over and give it a whirl?

Radar: Absolutely, 10 min.

Radar: You better hang on to some of that graduation cash.

Q: Huh?

Read 8:37 PM

I go in the house, say hi to my parents who are watching TV. My mom says "where were you"? "Vinny's with Ben and Lacey…Radar is coming over soon." They don't really respond, they seem transfixed by whatever it is they are watching. I go in my room and fire up the Xbox, and start fooling around with the new game. Maybe I'll be better at this than Resurrection I think, as I wait for Radar to show up. He walks into my bedroom a few minutes later and says, "Q, your Mom and Dad seemed surprised to see me. Didn't you tell them I was coming over?"

"They are oblivious sometimes," I reply. "I think I could tell them that I was taking the next rocket to Mars and they would say, Ok drive safely, don't stay out too late." Radar chuckles, "Q, I can't really see you on a rocket, you can't even keep a minivan on the road. I hope you are better at driving stolen cars than you are driving your own." Just what I need, more Q's driving sucks jokes. "I'm a great driver" I shoot back at him." "Yea" Radar replies, "if you're in a parade, really Q, you are the slowest driver in Florida under the age of 75."

This makes me think of rolling all of those stop signs as Margo and I made our getaway from Jase Worthington's house. Margo set off the alarm at his house and as we sped away we could hear the cops coming. I started to brake for the first stop sign, which drew an incredulous look from Margo. That was enough for me to say "oh, yea…right" or something like that as I gunned my mom's minivan, blowing off a bunch of stop signs in a row until we felt we were out of danger. I think about how much I miss Margo, which is exactly what I am trying forget about, at least for a few hours. "Earth to Q, Earth to Q" I hear Radar saying. "Sorry dude I kinda zoned out" I say, "Let's steal some exotic cars." We start the game, neither of us have played it before but I looks like it is gonna be fun. We play for an hour or so, starting to get the hang of the game, when we talk it is about the game or other mindless stuff. "Q, we racked up $724.87 on Lacey's gas card. We drove 2,231 miles round trip, almost all of it with the minivan pointed in the right direction" Radar is smirking, more Quentin can't drive jokes. "Haha" is my disinterested reply. Also, we consumed 86.8 gallons of regular gas, averaging 25.7 MPG over the course of the trip." Among Radar's many skills is his uncanny multitasking ability, he is focused on driving his stolen Ferrari 356 through an abandoned industrial site while he rattles off those statistics. "Ouch," that's gonna take a bite out of my summer fun, plus, in the next day or so, some insurance guy is coming to give us an estimate on the van damage," I tell him. This conversation, while enlightening, is designed to avoid the obvious topic…Angela.

All of a sudden, Radar pauses the game. "Geez Q, she called me to tell me she still wasn't talking to me, what do you think about that?" "Not sure" I reply, "kinda seems like she does want to talk to you, what exactly did she say"? "She called and as soon as I answered my phone she said I'm not talking to you right now so don't call me and I'm not texting you either right now so don't text me." "Seems a little harsh" I say. "She never gave me a chance to say anything, she just ended the call." I don't pretend to understand how women think, so I'm just taking a shot in the dark here, but it seems to me a phone call like that has more meaning than it appears. "Well Radar, look at it this way, maybe she is sending you a message." "Really, What kind of message is that? Who calls someone to tell them they are not talking to them, when it is obvious that she is not talking to me. Furthermore, shouldn't she have texted me to tell me she is not texting me instead of calling me to tell me she is not texting me?" Radar continues, "Really Q, the whole phone call thing makes no sense." "You know Radar" I begin, not knowing exactly where I'm going, "let's think this through a little bit." "What is there to think through, she made it clear that she will neither call nor text me." Radar quickly replies. "No, not really" I say. "I think she is saying something a little more subtle. So, here is what we know; 1: She called you. 2: she is not talking to you _right now_. 3: She is not texting you _right now_." I continue, "If I'm reading between the lines, the two things that leap out at me are she called, and right now." Here I am talking to a guy who is a math genius, a computer whiz, a guy who is attending Dartmouth on a full ride, but apparently is unable to catch the drift of Angela's call judging by the quizzical look on his face. "I think she wants to see how much you want her, you know, are you worthy or something like that." As I say that, I hesitate for a second or so as something stirs in a nether region of my brain, the beginning of a thought beginning to form or something. "Anyway," I say to cover the momentary brain freeze, "I think you need a plan and a little patience, things will work out, I think". "Thanks for the guidance…patience is counseled from a guy who chased some girl all the way up the eastern seaboard." Radar is smirking a little as he says that, we both start to laugh, he unpauses the game and we go back to stealing and crashing exotic cars.

We continue playing the game until about midnight or so, we don't talk too much about anything else, except perhaps what harassing texts we could send to Ben. When I tell Radar that Lacey flashed him a naughty look and said "Benjamin, your night is just getting started" as they drove away, Radar lets out a "whoa, who wouldn't want to be him tonight?" "Everyone with a pulse, that's for sure," I reply. Radar sees that I am starting to nod off, "Ok Q, I'm outta here, shall I wait for the butler or can I show myself out?" This would have been a perfect time to ask him if Angela' parents have a butler, but for the moment I keep to myself that I now know her parents are members at JPark. We both laugh again as he leaves my room, he's been here like a million times, he knows where he is going.

We have been back from Agloe only a couple of days, and it is this time, late at night when I am alone that has quickly become the hardest time. I know I worry too much, another Margo admonition, but I haven't completely changed, Quentin Jacobsen worry wart, is alive and worrying. My inventory of worries seems endless; Ben and Lacey, they are getting along fine, but will it last? Ben is truly living his dream right now, if things go south…also,

What about Lacey? I find that I really like her…not in the I wanna jump her bones way. (I'm the only one though, what a twit I am). She is turning out to be a great friend, she is smart, fun and funny and I enjoy being around her. It really bothers me how I gleefully participated in fucking up her car, even though it was at Margo's behest, and at the time, it appeared she deserved it. Every time I see Lacey, I vow that I will never make sweeping judgements about anyone ever again, also I've begun to refer to this as the Pemberton Corollary, which sounds like something we studied in 10th grade history. I couldn't have been more wrong about her and I feel very guilty about the whole thing. Radar and his current trouble with Angela. Again, all my fault. If there is anyone that will always be able to take care of themselves it is Radar. My self centered obsession with "chasing some girl the length of the eastern seaboard," his words, who "sure as shit didn't" her words, want to be found, is the only reason why Radar and Angela aren't a hot couple, enjoying their Senior Summer. How the hell am I gonna right that frickin wrong? Six weeks ago, no one ever talked to me, now everyone assumes that some superpowers have been bestowed upon me to fix all that is broken and right all that is wrong. Margo handled that task with ease…but she was beyond awesome, she was Margo Roth Spiegelman. She bequeathed the job to me and I have big shoes to fill. I have all of this other stuff racing through my brain as well, getting ready for school in August, getting enough hours in my Dad's office so I have a little bit of money after I repay Lacey, paying for my van repairs…all of this stuff is keeping me awake, the early morning minutes slowing ticking away, just like that clock in school.

Then there is Margo, where did she go, is she ok, she said she would contact me…God I hope I hear something soon. What is she doing, who is she with, why isn't it me? Answer, because you are a dumbass. Most worrisome, how many cool, interesting dudes will she meet in New York City, will she be kissing anyone like she kissed me in Agloe, I just can't take this much longer…next thing I know I'm back in Agloe, in the tall grass, Margo asleep, her head resting on my shoulder. It's only a dream but it feels so good until she wakes up and begins to growl at me like a wild animal, she bares her teeth, long sharp fangs and a ferocious look on her face ready to attack. She lunges at my face…I wake up.

When someone has a nightmare in the movies, they always shoot up out of bed, covered in sweat. Not me, I just wake up, laying in my safe bed in my safe bedroom in my safe home in the safe burbs…but that dream turned nightmare freaked me out. I don't fall asleep again until dawn, I am exhausted, and sleep until almost noon. I was awake most of the night and when I finally fell asleep, it was like I was in a coma…no crazy, disturbing dreams thankfully.

Chapter 3 - It's Time to Party…The Answer to What Time Is It?

I finally roll out of bed a few minutes short of noon. It is Sunday, I have absolutely nothing to do. Tomorrow is my first day of work at my Dad's office, but today I am completely free to do whatever I want. Thank God my mom and dad let me sleep, I really needed the rest, it helped me clear my head and realize that the Margo dream is just that, a dream. I momentarily contemplate telling my mom about it, but then she will think I need counseling or something so I quickly discard that idea. I shudder at the thought of having my mom ask me a million questions about Margo, how she makes me feel or something. My mom works with troubled teens, I don't want to give my parents any idea that I'm one of them. Something is bothering me however, and I can't put my finger on it. That crazy nightmare leaves me feeling kinda weird, but that's not what is bothering me. I'll worry about all of this later anyway, I pick up my phone and I have a bunch of texts.

Today 9:39 AM

Radar: Text me when you wake up.

Read 12:02 PM

Today 10:15 AM

Benners: Bro, you up? Text me. I have some stuff to tell you!

Read 12:02 PM

"I'll bet he does" I say aloud to no one.

Today 11:31 AM

Lace: Hey Q…you're coming with us to the party, you can't say no…I'll be disappointed if you don't come with us.

Read 12:03 PM

"What party?" Again, said aloud to no one. I will be attending though…Lacey has deemed it so, and I sure don't want to disappoint Lacey.

Today 12:05 PM

Q: Just woke up, do you know anything about a party?

Radar: What party? What are you doing today?

Q: I dunno…I guess I'm waiting around until it's time to go to the party that I don't know anything about.

Radar: Let me text Ben, I'm sure he knows all about it.

Q: K

Read 12:05 PM

So after everyone texting back and forth a million times I find out that the party, is a graduation bash at Jase Worthington's house. Now, I've only been to the Worthington estate once before but it was under much different circumstances. Also, apparently I am invited this time, Lacey said Jase told her to make sure that _Quentin and his buddy and girlfriend_ know they are invited. My first thought is that I would rather have a lit cigarette crushed out in my eye than go to a party at Jase's house, but as I think about it a little bit I realize a few things, kinda all at once. Ben and Lacey are going, I have nothing to do and it will be the kind of distraction I need right now, also, Radar has nothing to do and he could use a distraction as well…which all of a sudden gives me an idea. I'm going anyway, as there is no arguing with Lacey. She seems to have taken me under her wing, making sure I'm ok or whatever, and I have to admit…I kinda enjoy her attention. Ben and Radar also decide that they are coming to my house to play the new GTA game. They show up shortly thereafter, Ben is wearing his usual tee shirt, cargo shorts and sneakers, I've been waiting for this…"Ben, why aren't you wearing one of those pretty boy shirts like you had on last night?" Ben fires back, "well I wasn't wearing it ALL night, I had it ripped off my back by a gorgeous blue eyed girl." "Whoooooaah" Radar and I both exclaim. "I can't help it" Ben is pouring it on now. "The hottest chick on the planet can't get enough of me, what more can I say?" "Too much information" Radar says to him. "Lacey seems like a nice girl, obviously misguided though. "You're right Radar" I say, "maybe she hit her head when the minivan spun during the cow encounter." Radar laughs at that one.

"One of these days she will wake up no longer concussed and say to herself, "I'm dating who?" "Or" Ben says, "maybe she just likes the world's biggest balls."

We start the game, and it seems that all is right with the world again, Radar and I are dishing the heat and Ben is the roastee . Also, I quickly realize that once again, even though it is my game, both of my friends are already better than me. It doesn't take too long; "Q, get your ass out of my way, Ben says, " you're stealing the damn car, there's no frickin speed limit." Radar is smirking, "Ben, leave him alone, if there was a POS Ford minivan in this game, he would be kicking our asses. If NASCAR had a minivan series, he would be the Jimmie Johnson of minivans." "Shut up dickheads, I'm a good driver, I just follow the rules. Do they race minivans?" I ask. "No, they don't, people would fall asleep watching that and Q, you are the worst driver since the invention of cars." We spend the balance of the afternoon stealing Lambos, Porsches, Maseratis and Bugattis, running from the cops and crashing the cars in high speed chases, this game is great and the afternoon passes quickly. Suddenly, Ben pauses the game and says, "I'm starving…what time is it?" On cue we both say, "It's time to party." Ben has been saying that for years every time someone asked that question. " Let's go see if my mom has any food." We all head for the kitchen, I open the fridge and there is a bunch of stuff in there but nothing is jumping out at me. "Are you guys hungry?" It's my mom, she must have heard us in here. "Hi Mrs. Jacobsen…Hi Mrs. Jacobsen," Ben and Radar both say, not quite in unison. "Quentin, why don't you start the grill, I have hamburgers, do you guys want burgers?" Of course, everyone wants burgers…we are teenage boys. So, my mom gets out homemade burgers that she makes in batches and freezes, gives them to me to grill. "I have pasta salad and macaroni salad," homemade as well. My mom has perfected the art of having a lot of homemade food on hand while working full time.

While I'm grilling the burgers, two for each of us, my mom starts grilling my buddies, she is a trained professional so they have no clue there is a method to my mom's idle chit chat. "Ben," she begins, "Quentin tells me that your girlfriend Lacey is very nice, and very pretty too." I'm out on the deck cooking the burgers so I don't find out about this subtle interrogation until later, but while I'm out there, I decide to turn my idea into action. I look through my texts and find the emojis from Lucy, FOA, (friend of Angela). I shoot her a quick text.

Today 6:35 PM

Q: Hi Lucy this is Quentin, you texted me your number the other night. Any chance you guys are going to Jase Worthington's graduation bash?

She answers right away.

Lucy: Hi Quentin, I'm glad you texted. We are going, we're trying to get Angela to go but she says she's not up for it.

Q: Ok, well try and get her to go.

Lucy: We are, I think she is looking for a way to get un-mad at Marcus, we think if you talk to her she will stop being so angry with him.

Q: I'll give it a try if she comes with you, all of this is my fault anyway, she can be mad at me, instead of Radar.

Lucy: Well, whether she comes or not, I hope I'll see you at the party.

Q: Ok, see you tonight.

Read 6:35 PM

I just can't get my mind around all these people who hope to see me. A few months ago I could have keeled over in the hallway at school and Lucy and her friends probably would have stepped over my rotting carcass without even looking down.

While I'm cooking and texting the questioning continues in the kitchen. Ben is reluctant to talk about any of this with my mom, but he does manage to say "Yea Mrs. J she is, I really like her." In response to her question. "I'm so glad you two found nice girlfriends." They both kinda nod their heads, Radar, of course, makes no mention his current predicament. While she is talking she is getting out plates, utensils, ketchup and mustard, putting the pasta and macaroni salad in dishes and slicing some tomatoes. The initial questioning was the windup, here comes the fastball…"and Quentin's girlfriend, did they get themselves sorted out?" she asks. Ben and Radar look at each other with a "what girlfriend" look on their faces, they don't know what to say. After what seems like a really long time my mom says,"Margo…did Quentin and Margo get themselves sorted out?" Neither of them know what to say, they are alternately looking at each other and my mom until Radar regroups and says, "You know Mrs. Jacobsen, we weren't really around them much, they spent all the time up there together, by themselves. Quentin came back to the motel where we were staying and we left, Margo had…I come in from the deck with a plate full of cooked meat, "burgers are ready." Immediately, I realize that they are talking about me, as my entrance produces an abrupt silence. "What are you talking about" I say. Way too quickly Ben says, "your lousy driving." "We were telling your mom about the miraculous cow avoidance maneuver" Radar adds, "we also mentioned you can't drive in the virtual world either." "I'm a very safe driver" I reply, "and you guys are envious of my driving skills," which makes them laugh so hard that my mom laughed too.

"I'm still starving, let's eat" Ben says as we sit at our kitchen island, ready for some good food. Ben and Radar do their patented, not quite in unison "thanks Mrs. Jacobsen" as my mom leaves the kitchen. "You're welcome boys, enjoy your dinner" my mom says as she exits the kitchen leaving me with a quizzical look on my face. "What the hell was that all about, why are you guys acting so weird?" "I dunno," Ben replies, "she wanted to know what happened to your car." "Yea, Q, she was asking us about the spin out, how did it happen, who was driving, you know, that kinda stuff" Radar adds. "Whatever," I say, putting the whole thing, however weird, out of my mind even though I suspect that was not the topic under discussion. We turn our attention to the food and the talk turns to the party. "I'm not sure I'm going," Radar says, to which I quickly reply, "dude, you gotta go, I'm not going by myself, I'll pick you up at 10:00, we'll make a late entrance…fashionably late." "Besides, if you don't go, you'll miss whatever outfit our boy Benners here will be sporting tonight." I saw him send a couple of texts, I assumed he and Lacey were deciding how, and what time they were going tonight. "You guys are just jealous of my keen fashion sense, anyway, I gotta go, Lacey is picking me up." With that, he grabs what is left of his second hamburger and heads for the door. "Thanks for making dinner Mrs. Jacobsen" we hear Ben say as he opens the door and leaves. " Wow, that was quick," says Radar. "I assume he got his marching orders." I reply as we both laugh. "Still worth it," Radar replies, "Damn right" I say. We finish our food in silence and Radar leaves a short time later. "I'll be at your house by 10:00, don't wimp out on me" I say. "Alright…alright, I'll be ready," he says as he heads out of the kitchen. While we were talking I got a text from Lacey.

Today 7:20 PM

Lace: I hope you and Radar are coming tonight, it will be fun, I want to get the four of us together again.

Q: No worries, we'll be there after 10.

Lace: Alrighty.

Read 7:30 PM.

After Radar leaves, I take a quick shower and get dressed. While I'm getting ready I realize that I have a bit of a logistics problem on my hands. A Margo thought pops into my head as well, maybe she e-mailed me, I check my laptop including the junk inbox…nothing. I'm going to take Radar to the party, but when we get there I have to quickly determine if Angela is there with her friends. If she is, then I have to talk to her before she sees Radar, or he sees me talking to her. The other issue is, I have only a vague idea of what I'm going to say to Angela. I may need some assistance with all of this so I text a co-conspirator.

Today 9:02 PM

Q: I might need your assistance later tonight.

Lace: ?

Q: I'll explain more when I get there, I may need you guys to keep Radar distracted for a few minutes, or maybe quite a few minutes.

Lace: Alrighty.

Read 9:03 PM

As I read that text, I realize that although Lacey never says "Alrighty" she always uses it when texting. That gets me thinking, perhaps people unconsciously develop a whole new vocabulary for texting purposes only. I make a mental note to mention this to Radar...this kind of stuff I Right up his alley.

The futility of constantly checking my email for a message from Margo puts me in a funk. I really feel as though I will never see her again, and that just makes me flat out miserable. Already, I can't remember what she smells like, can't remember what she sounds like. I'm having trouble seeing that knowing smile which is reserved only for me. God…she knows me like no other, it's like she owns me or something. Even her voice, do I remember exactly how she talks? Dammit, this is depressing. While I waste about a half hour making myself feel miserable, I don't even realize that I got into my car and drove to Radar's to pick him up. I'm early, but he is ready as promised. The Worthington's live in a different development with larger homes across town from our neighborhood, so we have a little bit of a drive. "You know, about 90% of me wants no part of this party tonight, but the other 10% does." I explain to Radar as we drive. "So, what are you saying, that you have a good Q on one shoulder and a naughty Q on the other shoulder, each whispering in your ear?" His cartoon metaphor for one's conscience makes me laugh, I can picture it, two tiny Quentins, one with a halo and wings, the other with horns and a pitchfork, standing on opposite shoulders stating their case. "Not exactly," I continue. "It's more like the 90% Q really wants everything in my life to remain the same as it always has been, but the 10% Q knows that the last few weeks have changed me forever." Radar gives me a look, "No kiddin bro, tell me about it. And the 10% Q is winning the argument isn't he?" "Amazingly, he is." I reply. "We have all of this time, a couple of months, with virtually no responsibilities. We have no classes to attend, no projects to complete, no papers to write. Our college plans are set, all we have to do is show up on the first day, and," I continue, "this is only time in our lifetime that this will happen. This is our last chance to live it up I suppose." "I've never really thought about it much, but you're right Q," Radar replies. We drive for a few miles in silence, I'm brooding because I find all of these changes in my life unsettling. Finally, a dead serious Radar says,"Quentin, you can't go back to your old, invisible self" he says. "Besides, that was only how you saw yourself. You were never that guy." What's that supposed to mean?" I snap back, also I think to myself that Radar never calls me Quentin. He is about to answer but we come around the corner to the front of Jase's faux Spanish house. It looks a lot different than the last time I was here, the driveway is filled with cars overflowing onto the street, every light in the house is on, there are no broken windows, catfish or blue M's. There are groups of people on the lawn and the front porch. We park on the street and head up the driveway and I feel a little jolt of excitement seeing all the people and hearing the music, also weird as something like this should send me running full speed in the opposite direction. I look at Radar and say, "the hell with it, tonight I'm listening to the devil on my shoulder." "Damn straight" he replies with a big grin and both of us laugh as we head for the front door…fashionably late.

People sitting on the porch all say, hi, or hey dudes, what's up, some similar acknowledgement, we both say hi to everyone as we open the door and walk into the foyer. As we do, most of the people turn to see who is coming in. There are a lot of people here, but they sorta part like Moses parted the Red Sea as we walk through the crowd, lots of kids are saying hi guys, hi Quentin or hi Marcus. I lean in to Radar and say, "Who the hell is Marcus?" He just laughs but actually a most people do know him by his given name. An apparently successful campaign by Angela to stomp out his nickname had been underway as well. We don't know exactly where we are going but everyone else seems to, so we just keep walking as people get out of our way until we get through the house to the patio. There they are, Lacey and Ben, surrounded by Lacey's friends as if they were holding court. We stop in our tracks, look at each other and start laughing. There he is, our lifelong friend Ben Starling, the subject of the boyfriend makeover project which appears to be almost complete.

I may have broached this topic previously, but it bears repeating; Lacey Janelle Pemberton is an absolutely beautiful creature. Her light brown hair, done perfectly, falls to her shoulders. Her light blue eyes contrast her olive toned skin, a little darker from the summer sun. She is wearing a white, sleeveless summer dress, short, but not tight, she looks very comfortable. Her impossibly long legs appear even longer as she is wearing wedge heels, accentuating the muscles in her toned legs. Is that a bit of envy I feel toward Ben? I quickly bury that thought as we survey Ben's new wardrobe, both of us making mental notes enabling us to savage him later. He is wearing another boyfriend shirt, gray with a subtle plaid pattern, button down collar, with the top two or three buttons open and the sleeves rolled up almost to his elbows. The shirt tail is untucked, hanging over what my grandparents would describe as Bermuda shorts, off-white khaki, a front button, no belt needed. They are flat front, fall to his knees and the pant legs have creases for Christ's sake. He is wearing light gray fashion sneakers with white soles and matching gray no show socks which show just a tad. The _piece de la resistance_ is the folded Ray-Ban Wayfarers hanging from his shirt. Radar and I are alternately looking at Lacey, who is even taller in heels, and looking at Ben who appears every inch the part he is playing. I say to Radar "still worth it" and he replies, "Damn straight."

They both spot us at the same moment, smiling and waving, saying, "guys, over here, come over." We head toward them, I'm really glad to see them plus I need a quick word with Lacey. I don't make it though, Jase comes swooping in from nowhere, grabs my arm and says, "Quentin, you make it, do you want a beer?" He is all smiles and seems genuinely happy to see me. Jase Worthington happy to see me is like living in an alternate universe, bizarro world, and opposite day all rolled into one. I can't even imagine the look on my face, but Jase takes it to mean that I don't want a beer. He says, "Oh, right Quentin, you're not a big drinker, how about something else?" Once again, I am speechless, I just don't know what to say. Speaking of envy, I was so envious of Jase while he was dating Margo, often thinking if I was more like him maybe she would like me. Somehow, I manage to blurt out, "you know Jase, tonight I really could use a beer or two." That gets a laugh out of him, "I hear that" as he pulls me away from the group and we start walking around the perimeter of the house. This is beyond weird for me, I really have nothing to say to this guy but I finally manage to blurt out, "do you have to get to school early for baseball.? "Yeah, July 5th I have to be there, it's coming fast but I'm ready to go" he says as we walk. Still nothing I can muster to say to this guy so I continue with the baseball theme, "so, what happens in college baseball, is there like a freshman or JV team like high school?" "No," Jase says, "nothing like that. You have to be good enough or you won't get to play. That's why I picked Florida, between the draft, (Professional baseball draft for the uninitiated) and guys graduating, there are infield positions up for grabs this season." By this time we have reached our destination, the garage. The doors are open, but there are no cars inside. I imagine what wonderful wheels reside in this garage, certainly no minivans. He walks to a refrigerator opens the door and it is packed with ice cold bottled beer, none of which I've ever heard of. "Help yourself Q," he says as he reaches for a beer in a green bottle, twists off the cap and slugs down about half of it in what appears to me to be one motion. I'll have what you're having." I'm clueless here, WTF is this all about…but I recall my vow to never again make sweeping judgements about people, (the Pemberton Corollary in action). Jase repeats the smooth beer grabbing / opening motion, handing the open bottle to me. I take it and drink as much as I can without gagging or otherwise embarrassing myself and I find that 1; it is really cold, and 2; it actually tastes pretty good…in a beer sorta way. "Thanks" I say, "so is this like your private stash or something?" "Sure is," he replies, "can't stand that Natty Light, tastes like water."

We stand there drinking our beers, the mandatory awkward silence enveloping us. Finally, Jase reveals what this is all about, "Quentin, did you really have an all out shouting match with Margo when you found her?" He continues, "I can't believe you called her a self centered brat. Aren't you afraid she will sneak into your house, smother you with your own pillow and paint a blue M or your lifeless body or something? This makes me laugh and he laughs too, which lightens the mood a bit. "I mean really dude…no one else would ever confront her except you." "Well let's just say that we both had a lot of bottled up unsaid things over the years and they all came out at once." I reply. This is making me uncomfortable and it must show because Jase says, "look man, if you don't want to talk about it that's ok." I suddenly realize that I very much do want to talk about it, and it is because of something Jase just rattled off in a matter of fact way, "no one else would ever confront her except you." Why the hell would he say that, he's the guy who dated her for four months. "Actually, she blasted me ten times worse than anything I said to her," I say to keep the conversation going. "She was screaming at me, told me to shut up and called me an asshole." "Knew it," Jase is shaking his head now, "I knew it was you. "I called her on it once or twice and she just laughed it off." "Really Jase, we hardly talked to each other for years, if we weren't next door neighbors we never would have said anything to each other." I'm pleading my case now, thinking he is somehow pissed and is gonna break me in half, but he just says, "I know…she never said anything but I could tell it really bothered her that you didn't give a flying fuck what she thought about you or anything else she was doing." This hits me like a ton of bricks, I spent every waking moment for years wishing, hoping that Margo would just acknowledge my existence. I just can't wrap my mind around what he his saying, so I assume it is all BS and he is just trying to find out where Margo is or something. I'm searching for a response as we both notice something at the same time, here comes Becca.

Jase instantly changes the subject on the fly, effortlessly, like he was fielding a hot grounder and throwing to first base. "Well…if you're gonna be at Duke, you better like basketball," he says. "Yea, I reply, "that's the sport I really like to watch. When we were kids I was into the whole LeBron thing big time." Which by the way, is not a lie. "Who wasn't?" Jase replies as Becca has been within earshot of our conversation for a minute or so. "There you are," Becca exclaims, "raiding the private stash." She looks at me and says, "hello Quentin," in a not friendly manner. "What are you guys talking about," she says to both of us but is looking right at Jase. "Duke Basketball," Jase quickly replies. "Q is going to Duke so he is going to get to see a lot of good games." Becca responds with an unconvincing "Oh." "Yeah," I continue, as I know she heard this as she was walking toward us, "I was a big Heat fan when I was a kid, I still follow them even though they stink now." Becca turns to me by way of dismissal and says, "I saw one of your friends over there by the pool…the black girl, what is her name?" "Her NAME is Angela." I say as forcefully as I can…damn, I really didn't like the way she said that. Jase looks at me and says, "Help yourself to another beer Q, just don't tell anybody where they are." As they turn to walk away, Becca says to me, "I hear your girlfriend is never coming back to Florida. We won't miss her will we baby?" I didn't hear Jase reply because I'm already focused on something else.

Today, 10:16 PM

Q: Angela is here with her friends, keep him occupied and not near the pool.

Lacey: Got it.

Read, 10:16 PM

I take up Jase on his offer, reach into the fridge, grab one of those ice cold green bottles, twist off the cap and take a long drink as I swing the fridge door closed, not all in one fluid motion. If this was baseball, the runner would have been safe, I think to myself. I suddenly feel bad for Jase like I did when he was running down Becca's street in his boxers, his needle dick waving in the breeze, but I had no clothing to toss him tonight. I head for the pool which is near the back of the walled in property, complete with a hot tub, a two story Cabana, outdoor bar, TV's and a separate music system. Just as I start to torture myself wondering how many times Jase and Margo were in that hot tub, I spot them, or more accurately, I spot Lucy, FOA, waving me in like one of those guys with the paddles on an aircraft carrier. I tense up a little as I am unsure of the reception I'll get from Angela. "Quentin," Lucy exclaims as they all turn to look my way. She runs up and gives me a hug like we were long lost friends though I barely know her, "great party isn't it" she gushes. This is not unpleasant as Lucy is a pretty girl. The enthusiastic hug lingers and I reply, "sure is," but I'm watching Angela to gauge her reaction, she smiles just a little then turns back to her friends. As I walk into their circle Angela just says, "hi Quentin," a little smile peeking out. Lucy quickly introduces the other two girls who were with her at Vinny's the other night, Kayla and Kyra. We are all looking at each other for a long moment until Lucy says, "I'm empty, who needs another drink?" Kayla and Kyra quickly turn and walk away with Lucy, leaving Angela and I alone facing each other. "So, where is the rest of the crew?" she says with a serious look. "I dunno," I mumble, "they're all here somewhere. "Angela," I continue, "please don't be mad at Radar, it was my fault, I dragged him on the road trip. I made him go because we only had a few hours to get there and we never would have made it without him running the operation." She is just looking at me, saying nothing. "You should just be mad at me, I certainly deserve it." No reaction…I'm getting desperate now. Finally, she begins to talk. "Quentin, I'm not angry anymore, but I felt so bad that you all left me behind, especially Marcus." "Well he is contrite, that's for sure. I think you should talk to him," I say, "he really needs to talk to you." "I want to talk to him too," she replies, "but I just don't know what to do. I was so mad because you guys were gone without a word and I'm alone wondering what the heck is going on." It finally dawns on me what to say. "Angela, take it from somebody who let years go by without saying anything…just talk to him, not trying was the biggest mistake I ever made…just say hi, the rest will work itself out" She smiles, it is an understanding smile, and without another word we turn and walk toward the patio.

Ben, Radar and Lacey are all standing together talking to some people as we walk toward them, it is pretty crowded and Angela grabs my hand, walking behind me as I lead her through the crowd. Radar spots me, "Q, we thought you bailed on us," he says but the look on his face changes to pure panic when he sees Angela in tow. Ben blurts out, "Hi Angela" she flashes Ben a big smile, sees Lacey, big smile and a wave for her as well. She walks right up to Radar, who is frozen in place, puts her hand on his shoulder, stands on her toes and whispers something in his ear. He laughs, and a broad smile spreads across his face. Inexplicably, Ben knows exactly when to say the right thing; "Where did you get that bottle of beer Q?" "Really weird story," I quickly reply, "There's a secret fridge in the garage, come on, I'll show you guys." We walk away, Ben is hopping up and down saying, "Q, you ARE the man," and Lacey leans in and gives me a little kiss on the cheek which actually makes me blush, "Quentin, you have the magic touch, you always know exactly what to do." "Hardly," I reply. Truth is, I've never been more confused in my life.

We are walking around the house toward the garage and they want to know how I got Angela to talk to Radar, but I avoid the topic because I have a couple of other things to tell them. I turn to Lacey, "Did you run into Becca?" "No, thank God, and I hope I don't either," she emphatically replies. "Well I did, the whole encounter was bizarre," I tell them. "Tru dat Q," Ben says, which by the way is now a new Ben saying, soon to rank right there with his "bro" resurgence campaign, replacing "Honeybunny" which has been abolished by Lacey. Ben continues, "Yeah, we saw that whole thing with your new best friend Jase, WTF was that all about?" "Not sure," I reply. I recount a good deal of the Jase story; walking to the garage talking about college baseball, getting the beers and what he said about Margo. I leave out the two things he said about Margo that floored me though, _no one else could confront her but you,_ and that he thought it _bothered her_ that I didn't care what she thought of me. Then I tell them about Becca, "She had to know we were talking about Margo but Jase deftly changed the subject to Duke, and Duke basketball before she got close enough to hear what we were saying" "I can picture her head exploding when she spotted Jase talking to you," Lacey says. "She kept her cool Lace," I reply, "but she was dismissive of me." None of this really matters because I truly do not care what Becca Arrington thinks about me. What does matter to me is the way she talked about Angela…who the hell appointed her queen anyway? I start to tell them how she referred to Angela, "one of your friends…the black girl." Ben interrupts me, "She is a rotten biotch." There is no glare from Lacey this time, she wholeheartedly agrees with Ben's assessment.

We reach the garage, there is no one there, so we just walk in, go over to the fridge and I again attempt to replicate Jase's smooth as silk beer retrieving / opening / drinking motion. I open the refrigerator door and Ben exclaims, " bro…sweet," grab an ice cold green beer bottle, twist off the cap and sink as much of it as I can in one drink. "Benners?" He nods and I repeat the motion, handing the beer to him. "Lace?" She replies with an "are you effin kidding me?" look. Ben and I both laugh at her. Nothing with that many calories will ever enter the temple that is Lacey's body. She has likely been nursing the same glass of wine that she got when she came here, which is fortuitous, as Ben has been hitting the Natty Light pretty hard. I quickly finish my beer and grab another one out of the fridge as we head back to the patio. We walk by Lucy, Kayla and Kyra who are talking and laughing with a group of kids. Again, a big hug from the very cute Lucy who says, "It seems as though Angela found another ride home, what did you say to her?" I make the introductions all around and the girls are making small talk with Ben and Lacey, they like her hair, her dress etc. they like Ben's shirt and tell her that they think Ben is _so cute_. Lacey is used to being complimented and she graciously chats up the girls, talks about what each of them are wearing and how great the party is. While this is going on, Lucy grabs my arm and asks again, "you got her to go over and talk to Marcus in a minute, we have been trying to get her to do it for days, what did you say to her?" "I just reminded her that there is no time like the present." I reply. She pulls me closer to her, looks me right in the eye and says, "Quentin, stay in touch, make sure you text me." "Ok, Lucy, sure…that would be good." I reply, a little perplexed. We continue our walk toward the house as Lucy says "bye everyone…byyye Quentin." Ben and Lacey are snickering as we walk. Ben is shoving me and laughing at me, Lacey making a face mimicking "byyye Quentin." "Whaaat…what's so funny, she is just being nice." I say. "Bro…that honeybunny," cue the Lacey eye roll, "wants you to rock her world," Ben exclaims, "she wants a piece of the Q…you should definitely text her." "She is just being friendly Ben," I say. Lacey just shakes her head, "oh sweetie" she says.

When we get back to the patio, we find Radar and Angela sitting close together on a wall by themselves, talking to the exclusion of everyone else. Ben and Lacey wander off, but before they do I tell them, "guys, don't leave without me, your favorite third wheel is gonna need a ride home." "No worries bro" Ben replies, "I'll find you or text you when we are leaving." I hope Lacey remembers, because Ben is a scatterbrain. I walk over to where Radar and Angela are sitting, they are oblivious to my presence, so I make the exaggerated throat clearing noise, "ahem" which snaps them out of their spell. I'm holding the key to my minivan in my hand, dangling it out in front of me as I walk up to them. Radar takes the key, giving me a fist bump with his other hand. "Bring it over tomorrow morning?" he says. "I have work tomorrow, I have to be there by 12." I say, doing a quick about face so they can re-enter their trance. Radar never misses a chance to needle anyone, "I don't want to alarm you Q, but I'll be exceeding the speed limit if I'm gonna get it back by tomorrow morning." "Not a slow driver" I quickly reply. "Birds pass you when you are driving." He gets in the last shot, I can hear Angela giggling as I disappear. I feel good though as my work here is complete, one less thing to torment me in the wee hours.

I see some people I know from school, make a little small talk with them for a while, but I'm maybe a little drunk so I just sit down at a table by myself and watch the world, or this little part of it anyway, go by. 48 ounces of cold beer may not be much for the likes of Jase Worthington and his buddies, or Ben for that matter, but it is a lot for me. While I'm sitting there I can see why Margo ran screaming from things like this, but I have a little different take. I really did have fun tonight in my own way even though part of me hates these parties as well. I feel good about hastening the Angela-Radar reconciliation. The weird encounter I had with Jase and then Becca was actually amusing on one level. Ben is right, she's a bitch. She despises both my oldest friend and my newest friend, but she was forced to put up with all of us being here tonight. I'm sure she flew off the handle when she saw Jase and I talking, and I really do find some humor in all of it. I also liked that Lucy was possibly flirting with me, no pretty girl ever really flirted with me before…except…Margo…OMG, was Margo was flirting with me while we were "bringing the rain down on our enemies." Can that be right?…doubtful, it is just alcohol induced wishful babbling, just as when I imagined that I would find her and we would crash the prom at the last minute to the wonderment of all.

Sitting alone, I begin to feel melancholy. I miss Margo, I hope that I hear from her soon, but I worry that all the things she said and all the things we felt in Agloe were just that, an encounter, one moment in time, nothing of consequence, never to be repeated. When I stood there and watched her leave, she was crying, but how long did that last. I can imagine Margo hitting the Big Apple, how excited she would be, the whole Agloe episode just a quickly forgotten bump in the road on Margo's great life adventure. How do I even know that is where she went, maybe she just said all of that stuff to get me back in my car, on my way back to Orlando and out of her life. I felt as though I acted heroically, that I did the right thing by letting her go. Now I am coming to realize that not going with her was just stupid. Maybe Margo played me. She was always a step ahead of me, knew that I wouldn't go, that I would try to be noble, the knight in shining armor willing to let the girl go because it was the right thing to do. She probably was laughing at me by the time she hit the interstate on-ramp. All of the clues, the poems, the minimall, putting our childhood behind us when we buried the notebook, all of it, has so much meaning for me. I cherish this as the beginning for us, when it was probably just one giant kiss off…see ya soon Q…NOT. Reality is finally dawning on me and…suddenly I realize that my phone has been buzzing on the table for some amount of time. It's Ben, as soon as I accept the call he starts; "WTF Q, did you pass out or something? We sent you like a thousand texts and I've been calling you for 5 minutes." "Sorry Ben" I say but he interrupts me, "Are you hitting on that hot honeybunny? I don't want to interrupt anything." "Hate to disappoint you Benners, just sitting here by myself." "If you want a ride home, get your skinny ass out here, we're in the driveway waiting for you." He is shouting into the phone now, excessive consumption of Natty Light seems to have that effect on him. "Be there in a minute" I say and end the call. I walk through the house and down the driveway and I notice that I do have multiple texts from them.

I hop in the back seat of the Audi, and Lacey navigates her way around a couple of cars and out onto the street. Ben turns around all of a sudden and says, " I thought you drove tonight Q." "I did, I picked up Radar, but he needed a really cool set of wheels to impress some babe, so I lent him mine." Everybody laughs, "Yeah" Ben says, "every hot babe I know is dying for a ride in a 5 year old minivan with a hole punched in the sliding door." More laughter, then Lacey says, "I like riding in your car Quentin, we have a lot of history in your car." Ben quickly twists it to his favor, "see what I'm sayin Q…the best girl ever likes your car." Lacey looks at me in the rear view and rolls her eyes at Ben's over the top, corny compliment but then she smiles at Ben and he leans in to her as she gives him a little peck on the cheek. They really do seem to like each other…they get along so well. If you google the saying "opposites attract," there is a picture of Ben and Lacey. As we ride back across town I start to wonder if they really are that much different. Lacey is certainly beautiful and who doesn't like that, but Ben loves her because she's smart, she's funny and she is kind and pleasant. Lacey was the first girl ever to "get" Ben. Once she got by, (or got used to), Ben's over the top persona, she realized he has a heart of gold and I'm certain that is why Lacey loves him. Plus, they are interested in the same things too…Ben will gladly spend the day shopping with her and he is enthusiastically participating in his own makeover. Anyway, the chatter inevitably turns to Angela and Radar. Lacey fixes her gaze on me via the rear view mirror and tries to be stern, "Quentin…out with it…what did you and Angela talk about?" I reply with the answer I gave Lucy, but I include the complete story. "She said she wanted to talk to him but she just didn't seem to know what to do, you know, how to get started. So I told her to just say hi, and the rest would take care of itself, but she was very reluctant to walk over to where you guys were standing. I didn't know what else to say to her until I blurted out; take it from someone who let years go by without saying anything…just talk to him…not saying anything was the biggest mistake of my life." The two of them turn to each other with a knowing look. No one says anything else for the five minutes left until they drop me off. "Thanks for the ride Lace, see you guys later." I say. I close the back door of the Audi and off they go. I'm standing alone in the driveway and I can feel Woody's gaze from Margo's window. For the first time ever, I don't look up…I know now nothing is there for me.

It takes me but a few minutes to get in the house and in bed, I'm tired and a little drunk. Hopefully, that combination will allow me to get some sleep tonight. A lot happened today and most of it was weird. My mind is working overtime as I lay in bed, how weird was that whole Jase Worthington episode and the things he said about Margo. Becca showing up on cue while we were talking about Margo was actually kinda funny as I imagine that Jase had some "splainen" to do. I have to assume that Radar and Angela have reconciled, sure did look that way. What about the very cute and friendly Lucy…jeez I don't even know her last name. What exactly did Jase mean when he said that "I knew it was you" and that I was the only one who could confront Margo? Was he just fishing for info or was there more to it? What a night, I did have fun though, in my own way…maybe I should drink every night, perhaps it will help me get some sleep.

Once again, I'm back in the tall grass of Agloe, Margo is laying by my side, her head on my shoulder, her arm across my chest, her leg draped over mine, but something is wrong…I can't feel her breath on my neck, she seems cold. Suddenly I realize that we are in Jefferson Park under the live oak and a sense of terror grips me. I look at Margo, there is black blood running out of her mouth, her eyes are open, lifeless. I thought you closed your eyes when you died?Flies are swarming on her forehead and I'm covered in her blood. Her lifeless eyes suddenly focus on me and her voice emits from her open mouth, "Quentin, you were supposed to take the bullet for me but you weren't here when I needed you…now I'm dead…why didn't you save me?" I shoot upright in my bed just like in the movies, drenched in sweat, and I feel the same panic I did when we first went to the Bartlesville Road mini mall, a primal fear, a fear of death…Margo, where are you, are you in trouble, I'm so far away from you. What if these nightmares are harbingers of the future? I'm wide awake now, sitting on the edge of my bed, telling myself, calm down it's just a dream, no chance of getting any sleep now. I pick up my phone to check the time and there is a text:

Today 3:44 AM

Radar: Check the Omnictionary comments page. Also, you're an Instagram sensation.

Read 4:20 AM

I leap off my bed right into my desk chair, flip open my laptop, the link to the Omnictionary comments page is open. I scroll backwards through the comments and there it is:

Agloe's First Lady has migrated to NYC

There are two thumbs up emojis followed by a blue capital M. The M is blue…it's BLUE! I want to scream _IT'S BLUE_ as loud as I can, but it is 4:30 in the morning. It's for me…the message is for me only, the big blue M is ours. I can feel our index fingers, covered in blue paint, pressing together just as it happened. Margo and I connected that night for the first time since we were little kids, and that was the moment. A jolt of euphoria surges through my being, she is ok, she made it to New York and she kept her promise to stay in touch. She wasn't trying to ditch me, now I know…everything that happened in Agloe means as much to Margo as it does to me. How do I know that? Because the post wasn't signed mRs, her unique but usual way of initialing things. That big, blue M is Margo's clever way of saying " Quentin, this message is for your eyes only." I flop back into my bed, I'm grinning like a kid in a candy store, I feel so alive, I'll never get any sleep now… but I fall sound asleep in minutes, the sweet sleep of the contented.

Chapter 4: Let Quentin be Quentin

10:30 AM, I slept from about 4:30 something to 10:30 in the morning, almost six hours. I haven't slept that long since the night before Margo appeared at my window over a month ago, and I feel great, fantastic. Great because I actually got 6 hours of dreamless sleep and fantastic because of one little message posted on a reference website comments page. I continue to lounge in bed feeling good about everything when it finally dawns on me, I have to work today…geez, what time is it? I fly around my room grabbing some clothes and a towel to shower when I realize, where the hell is my car? Then I remember Radar took it but he promised to have it back in the morning, so where the hell is he? I look out my window and I can see the back of my car parked in the driveway, but where the hell are the keys? I throw on a pair of gym shorts and run through the house into the garage and out on the driveway in a little bit of a panic to look for my keys. As soon as I get outside I hear laughter, Radar and Angela are sitting on my front porch, relaxing, just waiting for me to wake up I suppose. I'm in my bare feet and the blacktop of the driveway is hot, burning my feet, so I hop on the lawn, which makes them laugh at me again. "Hey Q, looking for something?" says Radar. He is dangling my car key in his outstretched hand. "Q, you need to get some sunshine on your bony ass, you're looking awfully pale," Radar continues, Angela is giggling and covering her mouth in an attempt to hide her laughter. "You may want to try some food too…you look like a refugee." "I'm going for the starving artist look," I fire back, "I hear girls are attracted to that." "They are Q, the girls that dress in all black all the time, not your type I'm pretty sure," he says. "Apparently, no girls are my type," I lament, to which Angela replies, "that's not what I hear Quentin." Radar interrupts, "Q, aren't you going to invite us in?" I just shrug my shoulders…like Radar needs an invitation to enter my house, he just walks in every other time he comes here. We all go through the garage through the house and into my bedroom. "Sorry about the mess Angela," I say as I'm clumsily attempting to straighten up my room. I don't care if Radar sees a pile of my dirty clothes but Angela is another thing. "Hang out until I get cleaned up then I'll drop you guys off on the way to work," I say. I grab my towel and clothes and head for the bathroom. I shower quickly, no time to let my mind wander to the person I want my mind to wander to, brush my teeth, get dressed and I'm ready to go in about 10 minutes. "That was quick," Angela says. "I'm an acclaimed speedster," I tell her as we head out to the car. "Except for one area, where he is painfully slow Ang, so that's why I'm driving." I start to protest, but realize the futility of it and I just get in the car. I get in the back so Angela can ride shotgun with Radar. Also, did he just call her Ang? That's a new one I think to myself.

As he backs out of the driveway he says to Angela with a smirk on his face, "go ahead, show it to him." She pulls out her phone and quickly finds what she is looking for and hands the phone to me. It is a picture of me on Jase's patio, sitting at a table by myself, my feet are propped up on another chair, my elbow is on the table and my hand is cradling a beer bottle sitting on the table. I'm staring off into the distance and it appears by the look on my face as though I am contemplating one of life's great mysteries. Also, there is a caption. "Q being Q" is posted under the picture. I look in the rear view and Radar is grinning from ear to ear. "A picture is worth a thousand words Q, and the caption is perfect." "I don't remember anyone taking that picture," I say, "where did you get it?" "Lucy posted it on Instagram late last night" Angela says. "Greeaat," I stretch it out, "so everyone has seen this already?" "Not everyone, but lots of people," Angela replies, "I think that it captures your essence Quentin." "I think someone has the hots for you," Radar chimes in, which gets a frown and an eye roll from Angela. These girls must get together in some secret location and practice this stuff. Margo did it to me a few times on the retribution tour, Lacey has the disapproving eye roll perfected and now I see that Angela has it down pat as well. "Really guys, she's just being friendly," I say just as Radar wheels the minivan into his driveway. They look at each other, Radar just shakes his head in disbelief as they get out of the car. "Bye Quentin, thanks" Angela says as she closes the door. I climb into the driver's seat and buzz down the window. Radar leans in and quietly says, "Q, thanks for last night, having the car was key, it's all good now." I give him a nod and back the car out of the driveway and head for work…at a prudent speed of course.

Work…for me work isn't really work as I am employed in my Dad's office. That's not to say that I can goof off or be a no show, I have plenty of stuff to do when I am at work. It is bottom of the food chain stuff, filing, sorting through old records to determine which ones must be saved and which can be destroyed, and occasionally filling in answering the phones or manning the front desk. I've done all of it in the past so I can walk through the door, and pick up where I left off at the end of spring break. I ponder what a loser I am having worked the entire spring break while virtually everyone else, including Ben and Radar, had some modicum of fun. The busy work does make time fly however and before I know it 6:00 PM has come and gone and I'm outta here. I get in the car and I see that I have texts from Ben.

Today, 3:33 PM

Benners: Bro, I'm up for stealing cars tonight

Benners: I got off at 3, I'll be over soon.

Benners: Are you at work?

Radar as well.

Today, 4:14 PM,

Radar: I hear we're stealing cars tonight, what time do you get off?

Read: 6:09 PM

I'll text them when I get home I think to myself as I pull out of the driveway at the office. It's a 15 or 20 minute ride home, depending on traffic. The girls must be busy I assume as we haven't done much old fashioned hanging out and playing video games lately. When I get home, I see that Ben's car, "Rhapaw" which is a big ass Buick Station Wagon from the 90's, is parked in front of my house. I park and go in through the garage. My mom is in the kitchen and she says, "Ben and Radar are in your room, they just got here." "Wow" I say to my mom, "they're here a little early" as I head to my bedroom. "Hey guys," I say as I open the door, "no girls tonight?" "Lacey is at orientation" says Ben, "so I'm ready for three days of kicking both of your butts in Grand Theft Auto." That would be closer to 2 1/4 days as Lacey returns from Tallahassee on Wednesday morning. "Angela is working until 8 tonight so that leaves one night for me to whup yer behind in this game or the game of your choosing" Radar fires back at Ben. They both turn to me and I have nothing…nada…zip. I just shrug my shoulders and they both start laughing. "I know…I'm the Harold Stassen of video games…finish last every time." For those of you who didn't pay attention in history class, Harold Stassen was a perennial presidential candidate in the early to mid 20th century. He ran and lost so many times he became a national joke. Radar quickly changes the subject. "Guys, we're all invited all to a pool party at JPark on Friday night." "I dunno, my tuxedo is at the cleaners," I say. Ben is snickering, "will Angela send the car round for us Marcus?" He affects a snooty voice, "I say old sport, will there be champagne?" "You two Bohemians will likely be barred at the door, Radar replies, turning to Ben he says, "You only have three days left to go shopping for a new outfit." I immediately pile on, "You'll be the cutest boy at the party Ben." Although intended as an insult, this is also a guarantee as once Lacey gets home and finds out we're all going to a JPark pool party. Her mandate to remain Orlando's hottest 18 year old girl, (she is #1) has now been expanded to ensure that the boy she is dating is the cutest, best dressed, trendy boyfriend ever. Ben not only cooperates in this endeavor, he revels in it. Also, I must add that Lacey does a damn fine job, as Ben appears so unlike he did barely a month ago that it it hard to imagine the "before Ben" and the "after Ben" are the same person. The idea of seeing Lacey in a bikini creeps into my consciousness. That wonderful sight alone will be worth enduring the pool party, I say to myself followed immediately by…stop perving on your best friend's girlfriend for God's sake. I've seen Margo in a bikini many times, but we both 9 years old. My minds eye conjures up an image of 18 year old Margo in a bikini and that is a pleasant image indeed. I can imagine her rolling through my window late tonight in her ninja hoodie wearing only a bikini…"Ha low Quentin" I can hear that melodic, sexy cadence, her beautiful voice washing over me as she pulls back the hoodie and unzips the black jacket. "I need your opinion on my bikini"…"Q…WTF" Ben is shaking me out of my trance. "Dude…what the hell?" Radar asks, "you completely zoned out…it is classic Q being Q." Ben has a quizzical look on his face so Radar starts looking through his phone for the picture. "Noooo…please…put it away" I say, but to no avail as Radar has found the picture and shows it to Ben. "Tru dat" says Ben, "the caption is perfect Q, the picture is so you. And," he pauses for emphasis, "it was posted by your not so secret admirer, Lucy Hanratty."

Lucille Elizabeth Hanratty, age 17, Winter Park High School rising Senior. 5'6" tall, straight, black hair down to her shoulders, unusual, pale green eyes, creamy white skin tone, now tanned golden brown from the summer sun. She has just the right amount of freckles scattered across her cheeks and nose to ensure cuteness, and a 1000 watt smile that lights up her entire face. She is lean and athletic, but not in a boyish way and by anyone's definition, a very pretty girl. Radar has provided us with her bio, she and Angela, along with Kayla and Kyra, are childhood friends. They all grew up together, spending their summers at the Jefferson Park Country Club pool. Ben says to me, "Bro, Lucy will definitely be there Friday, right Radar?" "Sure will, they'll all be there," he replies. "You should definitely make a move on that hot honeybunny Q, she's in to you big time." Ben continues. "What have you got to lose? Worst that could happen is that she hates guys who stink at video games and can't drive." He adds to the delight of Radar. "She's hot and she digs you," Radar says, "you're out of here in August anyway Q, besides, you're the one who said we should live it up this summer so I must insist that you follow your own advice in this matter." Ben adds, "plus, she's loaded…maybe you'll get invited on some swanky vacation or something." "Geez Ben, it that all you can think about?" I say. "Just looking out for my friends bro" he replies smiling. I decide at that moment that seeing Lucy in a bikini trumps my usual misgivings about attending events like a Country Club pool party. Besides, I'm going anyway as Lacey will insist that I do so.

While I'm daydreaming about girls in bikinis, (yes Quentin, there is hope for you, I say to myself), Ben and Radar have already started the game and are already kicking my ass. Still, it is fun to boost exotic cars and flee from the popo in high speed chases. When the three of us are here in my room, playing a video game and the insults are flying, I feel as though all is right with my world. Time flies when you're having fun however, and in a nod to our newfound notoriety, Radar pauses the game at a little before 9 and says, "I gotta go…I promised Angela I would stop over before I go home tonight." "Not me bro," Ben says to no one in particular, I'm free and on the prowl…don't tell Lacey I said that." Everybody laughs at Ben's false bravado, Radar gets up to go, "Tell Ang I said hi" I say as Radar leaves my bedroom. Ben looks at me and says "Ang?" I reply, "yea, he called her Ang yesterday, never heard that before." It is just Ben and I playing GTA now, clowning around and saying dumb stuff to each other for the next couple of hours. I tease him about his newly acquired fashion sense, telling him that I named it: The Lacey Pemberton Boyfriend Makeover Project. I keep piling on, teasing him about going shopping with Lacey, and their constantly texting and sending snaps to each other. It is all in good fun though, Ben has been my oldest and best friend, the only person I've known longer than him is Margo, so he is taking all of the teasing right in stride. Suddenly, I feel compelled to stop the game to tell him, "Seriously Ben, I'm glad that you and Lacey get along so well, I really am, she is a terrific girl." "Q, I never thought that it would ever happen like this, me and Lacey Pemberton, not in a million years," He replies. "I was just happy that she agreed to go to the prom with me, and I know she did only because she was in a jam. Afterward, I was perfectly content that she continued to talk to me after the prom. Then, I realized that I really wanted to be around her, not because she is incredibly hot, which she is, but because I really did like being around her, and to my complete surprise, she seemed to really like me as well." I'm just sitting there, letting him talk. "It's all because of you Q," he continues, if you weren't obsessed with finding Margo, Lacey never would have talked to you that day in school, and none of this would ever have happened. Lacey and I have actually talked about this, how fate threw us together, how we both realized that we were right for each other on the road trip. Neither of us admitted it right away, but that's when it happened, so we owe it all to you and your determination, to find Margo." Ben continues, "I really, like her Q…really like her…and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about me. We're having a great summer but it is flying by. Soon enough, Lacey will be going to Tallahassee and I'll be in Tampa, I hope we can keep it going when school starts." "I have a confession to make," I say. "I really like Lacey too, not the same way you do, but I do like the way she fusses over me, I guess I just enjoy the attention or something. Anyway, I have grown quite fond of her." I go on to tell him how guilty I feel about trashing her car with Margo, about how wrong I was about her and how stupid I feel that I thought she was nothing more than some vapid twit. Ben replies, "she has absolved you of your sins Q, she knows it was all Margo that night." "True," I say, "but Margo was wrong about her, and I still feel really bad about it." "What about you Q," Ben asks, "are you gonna be able to put this whole Margo thing behind you?" "No Ben, I'm not, I don't want to put it behind me," I tell him. Ben lets out a long sigh, "well you should try and have some fun this summer instead of dwelling on it to the exclusion of living your life." "I am trying, I've decided to keep an open mind about everything this summer, then it will be off to school to get on with the rest of my life I suppose." As I say that, my stomach tightens and a sense of dread envelopes me. Ben's phone buzzes, its Lacey, face timing from Tallahassee. "Hi Quentin," I hear her say. "How's Florida State,? I reply. I didn't hear the answer as they have lots to talk about, so Ben just gets up, gives me a wave, and heads out to his car as he talks to Lacey.

The inevitability of this summer ending, leaving for school and getting on with the rest of my life leaves me with a sinking feeling. My whole world is going to change forever in about 12 weeks or so. This Senior Summer, where none of us have any responsibilities…it is like some kind of transition period or something. I feel as though the passage of time has ground to a halt for all of us, but the stoppage is defined. It begins with graduation and ends in August when we all go our separate ways, different schools, with different people, new challenges and responsibilities.

In the interim, it gives all of us opportunities to do whatever we want, or more importantly, whatever we need to do. It has a dreamlike feel, day after lazy day, hanging out, going to parties, just being together enjoying life as a kid for the last time. The only thing any of us have to do is work our summer jobs. Working part time hardly affects the surreal notion that our lives are on hold for just a bit, for one last hurrah, one last go at being a kid. Radar and Angela, Ben and Lacey have all of this time in suspension to put their relationships together, to get to know each other really well, to just enjoy themselves and to plan for when August twenty something or other comes along and life is no longer on hold, the timeout is over and the clock starts ticking once more.

For me, this time has been epic, and it is still June. One night nine years ago, Margo told me to close my window while she stared right through me at God only knows what. From that day forward, my life was determined by Margo in many ways. That closed window was always between us and I became what I thought, she thought I was. One night in May, Margo opened the very same window, and now I'm…what…what am I? Different? Absolutely. What I'm supposed to be? Perhaps. Feeling good about it? Not really. One thing is certain though, when that August day comes for me, that will be the end…the end of Margo and I. Margo and I out all night while she wreaked havoc on her enemies, Margo disappears while I spend weeks looking for her, the glorious road trip, Agloe and everything we promised each other, our triumphant return to Orlando, all of it ends when this curious temporary suspension of time is lifted and the clock resumes ticking. I have the sense that I can change this, somehow alter the inevitability of all of this, if I could just see her again. In Agloe, we talked about seeing each other before school starts, she agreed, _we're not done seeing each other_. Somehow it has to happen, somehow I have to make it happen. I feel if we see each other again this summer, while time is on hold, then we can come to some understanding of what there is between us. If I can see her again this summer, I know that we will always have something connecting us, Margo and I bonded together for life. I doubt that it will be what I want, or even what Margo wants, but it will always be there and I suppose I'll have to settle for that. One thing is certain though, if I don't get to see her before I set foot on the campus of Duke University, that day will be day one of the balance of my life without Margo Roth Spiegelman, and that will be a dreadful day indeed.

Times like this are the worst times for me, I'm alone, late at night with my head spinning and my mind going a mile a minute. I can't sleep and I never think good thoughts late at night by myself. I have my friends and now I have plenty of acquaintances and lots of distractions that serve me well. I miss Margo…I just miss her. If she was here all would be well, but that will never happen. I may get a chance to see Margo again, but one thing is certain, she will never be here again. She made that crystal clear in Agloe. Lacey was right; everything sucks without Margo.

Next thing I know, I'm awake in the tall grass of Agloe, laying on my back, but something is wrong…where Is Margo? I hear her voice, "Quentin, over here…help me." I see her standing on her office chair with a noose around her neck tied to a tree branch. I jump up but I can't move…I can't move a muscle. "Quentin, please wake up, I'm right here, help me." I try to yell; "Margo…MARGO," but no sound is coming out of my mouth. There are some shadowy figures around her, they are screaming at her and she is calling, Quentin…please." Suddenly, the ground beneath me opens and I am laying at the bottom of a deep hole. A grave…I'm lying in a grave, I scream "MARGO…MARGO" but no sound comes from my mouth, I try to move but I can't. Two shadowy figures appear above the hole and suddenly they throw something on top of me. It's Margo, she's dead, her neck is broken and twisted in a macabre way. The noose is still around her neck, her eyes are wide open, lifeless. The shadowy figures pick up shovels and toss some dirt on us…I shoot right out of bed and scream at the top of my lungs, "MARGO…NO." I am in a panic, drenched in sweat and breathless. I sit down on the edge of my bed and I'm shaking…what a vivid and horrifying nightmare that was. I pick up my phone, it's 4:10 AM…I'll never get back to sleep after that.

There is a little tap on my bedroom door. "Quentin?" It's my mom, she opens the door and peeks in, "I heard shouting, are you ok, what's going on?" "Nothing mom…I couldn't sleep and I was watching something Radar sent me. The volume was up all the way on my phone, sorry if I woke you." She just looks at me and closes the door. I look at my laptop, no new messages on the Omnictionary paper towns comments page, check my e-mails, lots of them, none are from Margo. I check my junk box just in case…nothing. I lay down in bed and stare at the ceiling, only 4 1/2 hours till work. I must have drifted off as I wake up about 7:45, get ready and go to work. I'm exhausted, but my job is mindless so I'll have no problem making it through the day. Also, my car is headed to the body shop to repair the hole torn in the sliding door. Not sure when I'll get it back, so I have to ride to work with my dad.

One thing at which I excel is shutting everybody and everything out, so that is exactly how I deal with that horrific nightmare. I work all day, go home after work, and go back in my bedroom and find something to read. I fall asleep quickly. I don't know if I got any calls or texts from Ben or Radar. I'm beyond exhausted, so for one night at least, I get some real sleep. I don't have to work until 12:00 on Wednesday so when I wake up, I just lay in bed and try and take stock of everything that has happened in the last two weeks.

So I begin with the good stuff:

1: Margo is alive and well. Just saying that reminds me of how certain I was that she was dead and how happy I am to have been so wrong.

2: Margo left a message on that comments page just for me and I am elated about that.

3: I have made a new friend in Lacey Pemberton

4: I'm happy that Ben and Lacey are getting along so well and feel good that I had a hand in bringing them together.

5: Radar and Angela have resumed their romance right where they left off. I'm very happy to have had a hand in their reconciliation since it was because of me that they broke up in the first place.

6: My vow to myself to keep an open mind about others and to enjoy the summer has actually been tolerable. I've made one new friend, perhaps there will be others.

7: I love Margo more than life itself, she knows exactly how I feel about her and she is still talking to me…sorta. Furthermore, I believe that she has feelings for me as well.

Stuff I'm trying to understand:

1: What did Radar mean when he told me that I was never the guy that I saw myself as?

2: Why did Jase Worthington tell me I was the only one who could confront Margo?

3: Why would Margo be upset that she thought I never cared what she was doing?

4: Why would Margo tell me that she _sure as shit didn't_ want to be found when she left all of those admittedly obscure clues for me so I could find her?

5: Do all of these people really see me differently than I see myself?

Now for the not so good stuff:

1: I miss Margo, I want more than anything to see her and it saddens me to think that I may never see her again.

2: The entirety of what has gone on in my life over the last month or so has made me a basket case of sorts. I'm sure I appear fine to my friends, but I'm not eating right and I'm not sleeping well. The increasing horror of the repetitive Margo nightmare is really starting to take a toll on me.

3: I worry about Margo, all alone in New York. She certainly can take care of herself but the world can be a cruel place.

4: That day in August when school starts is fast approaching. Once I get to school, I won't have time to worry about Margo, or my friends, or anything that seems so important to me now. I'll be starting a new phase of my life…the phase without Margo Roth Spiegelman.

Just organizing all of this stuff makes me feel better, hopefully I'll be able to come to terms with everything.

I am temporarily on foot once again until my car is finished, so my Dad comes home at 11:45 to pick me up and take me to work. I spend the day filing and sorting charts, come home with him at 6:00 PM, check my email…nothing, then do it all over again on Thursday. I haven't heard from Radar or Ben, they are both busy with their girlfriends I imagine. Lacey returned from orientation on Wednesday afternoon so I'm not surprised that Ben has gone dark. Friday, I'm only working 9 to 12 and my dad takes time during lunch to run me home. I don't think I'm home 5 minutes and Radar walks into my house, "Did someone boost your ride?" he says. "I warned you to keep it in the garage, international car thieves are scouring the country for Ford minivans." "Haha, don't you have a day job?" is about all I can muster in response. Radar actually does have a job this summer, but it's not some part time kid job for 10 bucks an hour like Ben and I hold. Radar's job is to test out of the freshman class at Dartmouth…and he is almost halfway there. He has been taking placement tests during the last 2 weeks and has been knocking them dead. By the end of spring term, he will be well into his second year classes. There is a reason why he got a full ride to an Ivy League school…the dude is off the charts smart, the way his mind works is scary sometimes, I don't know anyone else like him. He is pacing around my house, obviously there is something bothering him, but as usual he won't say anything. No doubt he thinks there is an algorithm to handle any issue that may arise, just hasn't figured it out yet. This has to be about Angela, I say to myself. She is the only thing in his life that can derail him, so I just sit there and let him wander around the house until he runs up the white flag and decides to talk about it. "Mr. Robertson is the president of JPark?" he says, phrased like a question but actually a statement of fact. I reply, "and that has you worried because…?" Angela's dad, William D. "Willie" (to his close friends) Robertson is a big time Orlando attorney. He is a Princeton grad, where he played basketball, then after a a brief attempt to catch on in professional basketball, he attended Dickinson School of Law. He is an imposing figure to say the least. "Because we're all going there tonight, what if one of us says something that offends him, what if Ben calls him Bro?" I can see Radar is agitated, he continues, "it's a Country Club, everyone gets all dressed up for Country Club affairs, what if we get tossed for flaunting the dress code? Angela would really never see me again if we embarrassed her in front of her father. Even you couldn't talk her off that ledge Q." He is going a mile a minute now and I remain quiet, just letting him wind down. "You're gonna blow off the party aren't you? You gotta go Q, I need you there." "I'm wardrobe challenged Radar, I don't want to cause a scene or anything, I'm gonna have to take a pass on this one," I say with a little smirk on my face. "Besides," I continue, "I'm the person who led you astray on graduation day, I'm sure that Mr. & Mrs. Robertson see me as a wonderful influence on their daughter." I say. "I can see it now…I'll be hitting on some members hot daughter, igniting a Country Club scandal, and who invited this hooligan?…oh yea…Robertson's daughter and her boyfriend." Radar's face is telegraphing alarm, he has his phone in hand furiously keying in something, so I decide he has had enough. "Relax my friend," I say grinning, "I'm going and I promise to be a proper guest. I have at least one shirt with a collar and I can probably corral a suitable pair of shorts and an acceptable bathing suit as well. A part of me is actually looking forward to it." Finally, Radar calms down and returns to his unflappable self. "Thanks Q, it wouldn't be as much fun without you." I'm laughing at him now, it's so easy to rattle him whenever Angela is the topic. "Also," I remind him, "Ben will be dressed better than most members, and Lacey?…how do you think she will look tonight? As I'm saying that my phone is buzzing in my pocket, it's Lacey face timing me. "Hi Lacey," I accept the call, "how was Florida State?" Lacey appears on my phone with a serious look on her face. "Quentin" she seems exasperated, "don't even begin to tell me you're not going tonight, none of your lame excuses will work on me. We need you tonight and you need to get out and have some fun." "I regret to inform you that I will be unable to attend as my Mercedes Benz is in the shop" I reply, but I can't keep a straight face, I start laughing as I deliver the line. "Q, you can make fun of me as much as you want, but you don't fool me…I know you really want to go tonight," exasperated Lacey continues. "I'm sorry Lace" I say, "I couldn't resist teasing you a little bit, and I really do need a ride, my car is at the body shop getting the door repaired. Where did you get the idea I wasn't going," I ask. "Radar texted Ben in a bit of a panic and said that you didn't want to go tonight." We will pick you up at 7, wear something nice Q," Lacey says. "Ok Lace, see you tonight, I'll be a good boy all night, I promise." "Bye Q" Lacey says, she is laughing as she ends the call.

Radar leaves my house soon afterward, telling me he is going to Angela's early then they are going to the party with her parents. "Good luck with that, see you tonight" I say as he is leaving. He just looks at me and shakes his head. So now I actually have to find the aforementioned collared shirt and "dress" shorts. I'm able to cobble together what should pass as acceptable for the pool party. I grab a bathing suit, some gym shorts, a tee shirt and a beach towel and throw it into a duffle bag. I get a quick shower and wait for Lacey and Ben to show up. I open my laptop and check the reference page where Margo left the message, my inbox and my junk box…nothing. I slam the laptop closed but before I can start feeling miserable my phone buzzes.

Today, 6:55 PM

Benners: Be there in 2

Q: K

Read, 6:55 PM

I'm walking through the garage as they pull into the driveway, I hop in the back seat of the Audi and say, "Hi guys, your favorite third wheel is onboard yet again." Lacey smiles at me in the rear view and replies, "Q, you are just our favorite." Lacey can make anyone smile, she has a terrific personality to accompany her stunning appearance, and the notion occurs to me that she has become so much more comfortable in that skin. Ben gets credit for that, he exudes confidence, his over the top persona seems to have brought out the best in Lacey.

I do notice though that Mr. Over the Top hasn't said one word, if fact he is slightly slouched down in the front seat, hiding behind the headrest. "Ben, what's wrong, are you nervous about going to JPark tonight?" I ask as I lean between the seats. He is properly dressed, tan khaki "Bermuda" shorts, light green fashion sneakers another boyfriend shirt, this one like the others only light green. He is wearing the Wayfarers and then I spot it…the new hairdo. The hair on left side of his head is very short, almost buzz cut up to the part. The hair on the top of his head is longer and combed left to right over his head. The right side of his head is cut short as well. Once again, _the piece de resistance_ …the longer hair combed across his head is blonde, a lot lighter than his natural light brown hair color. "Whoa," I blurt out at the shock of seeing it, what happened to your head Bro? Were you kidnapped by zombie hair stylists and subjected to some hideous experiment?" I can feel Lacey's blood pressure rising as I am roasting him, there is little doubt this is her doing. Ben replies unconvincingly, "Come on Q, I don't want to keep my middle school haircut forever." This is not without merit as Ben has had the exact same unruly haircut since the fifth grade, bangs hanging over his eyes, hair curling around his ears and scruffy ends sticking out everywhere. "So Ben, looks like you got a lot of sun since Wednesday, it really lightened your hair." I'm pouring it on now and he has nothing, he just has to take it. I sit back in my seat and I can see the Lacey look in the rear view. "I" she says with emphasis while eyeballing me, "happen to think he looks cute, Quentin." When she is irritated at me for any reason I become "Quentin." I change the subject, no point in stirring up trouble now, although it doesn't get Ben off the hook. When Radar sees Ben's new doo he will have an endless string of wisecracks to hurl Ben's way. "Great night for a pool party" I say. "It is going to stay warm tonight" "Sure will" says Ben, "I can't wait for all of those Country Club hon…"he stops in his tracks, …"girls to see how ripped you are Q. When you take off your shirt there will be a stampede of rich chicks," he adds. This makes Lacey laugh, the image of skinny me and the description ripped just doesn't compute. "Yea, stampede for the exits," I reply, self deprecating humor works best in these instances I find. "So Lace…you're saying I'm NOT ripped?" She glances at me in the rear view and just laughs again.

Chapter 5 - Everyone into the Pool

Jefferson Park Country Club is located on the appropriately named Country Club Road, and as we turn off the highway I say, "Lace, have you ever been to this place?" "I've been here a couple of times, it's a really nice place," she replies, and as we wind through the golf course toward the clubhouse it becomes obvious that "really nice place" doesn't quite do it justice. Ben texts Radar and tells him we are coming up the driveway. The first thing that comes into view is the pool and tennis court complex. There is a drop-off and turnaround circle at the front entrance and Angela is waiting for us there. She shows us where to park, a lot adjacent to the pool area. We walk through the entrance out onto the large white concrete deck surrounding the pool. This place looks like a resort pool. It has the rectangular 50 meter long competition pool with the lanes painted on the bottom but there is an unusual double oval shaped pool which is attached to the rectangular pool. In the double oval portion, there are wide steps with a handrail to allow you to step down into about 4 feet of water. Opposite that is a fairly tall waterslide complex, and at the end farthest away from the lap pool is the little kid area with various water fountains spraying all over the place. You can walk into the pool like it is a beach from this end. The entire pool is surrounded by a wide, brilliant white concrete deck, lined with lounge chairs. There are locker rooms and a huge cabana which serves as a bar and grille. In front of the cabana, tables and chairs each with a large umbrella are scattered about. The pool complex is surrounded by hedges on two sides and by the cabana and the locker rooms on the other two sides. Rows of palm trees line the outside edge of the deck, providing shade for the lounge chairs. Tennis courts and the tennis pro shop are on the opposite side of the locker rooms. There are people of all ages here, lots of little kids under the watchful eye their parents, middle schoolers, teenagers and young adults. Groups of adults are gathered around most of the umbrella tables and there is a good contingent of adults at the cabana bar. The kids from middle school age through young adults have commandeered lounge chairs and each age group has seized control of their portion of the deck by grouping the lounge chairs together. Alongside the cabana is a huge grille where food from steak to shrimp and everything in between is being expertly prepared. Adjacent to that is a long buffet table which contains every kind of summer / pool party food and drink imaginable. Stacks of china plates and cups, emblazoned with the JPCC monogram, actual silverware, tall glasses and cloth napkins are provided for everyone's dining pleasure.

As I absorb all of this, the first thought that enters my mind is; I wonder if Margo ever broke into this place, this would be a perfect target for her, I wish I could ask her. My plan to somehow see her this summer is taking shape in my mind, but my plan sucks because I have no idea where she is other than New York City, and I have no way to contact her short of posting something on the paper towns comments page on Omnictionary. I am reluctant to do that because I don't want her to think I'm going to reappear unannounced. I don't want to creep her out or anything, I just hope she e-mails me so we can at least establish communication. I don't want her to feel like I'm pressing her to meet and I don't want her to disappear without a trace because I'm freaking her out. I have to remain "confident Q," and keep my cool…at least that's what I tell myself. I think that I think about this stuff too much…"Quentin…Quentin!" A voice snaps me out of my trance, a very pretty voice, it's Lucy, she obviously just got out of the pool. "Couldn't you hear me yelling from the pool Q?" She says, her 1000 watt smile seems amped up to about 1500. "Lucy…hi…no I couldn't, that music is kinda loud right here, I fib as I was a million miles away. Wow, this place is awesome." I say, which by the way is not a fib. She wraps her arms around me and I get a very wet hug. She is wearing an olive green bikini with white piping around the edges, it has an athletic appearance to it like women beach volleyball players wear. She really looks great and without thinking I blurt out, "I really like your suit Lucy." Ouch, I think to myself, what a dumbass thing to say. However she just smiles and grabs my arm to pull me down so she can whisper in my ear, "I just got it, I was hoping you would come, I bought it just for you." Stunned, and speechless for a painfully long second, I finally recover with "I'm Quentin Jacobsen and I approve this bikini," which makes her laugh and both of us blush at the same time. Also, I notice that I have been abandoned by all of my friends who have made their way to parts unknown in this upscale playground. "The locker is right there" she points me in the right direction,"get changed and come in the pool with us, it's got to be 95 or something" Give me a minute Lucy, I'll be right out," I tell her.

I go in the locker room, air conditioning, carpets, dark wood benches, not what one thinks when you say locker room, pick out an empty locker and quickly change into my swimsuit. I sit there for just a minute and think, God, Lucy is so hot and now the skinny, pale, not ripped Quentin is about to make his debut. I can hear Margo's melodic, sexy voice saying, "Q you're cute when you're confident." This may be the best advice ever given to me and it has held true on numerous subsequent occasions so I just head out of the locker room, across the brilliant white deck picking up a little speed as I approach the edge of the pool and dive in. This gets me a quick whistle from the kid on the guard stand, "no diving Quentin, it's too shallow" as I surface near Lucy and her friends. "Q, you're bad," Lucy says as her friends laugh along with her. "That's right Lucy, I'm a rebel…later on I'm going in the out door of the locker room." Again I think to myself, how do all of these people know who I am…if I was here several weeks ago everyone would have assumed I was the help. I'm never gonna figure this out but right now, I don't want to think about any of this I just want to numb my brain and have some fun. Lucy is splashing me and I'm backing up into the deeper water. I can still stand but Lucy can't so I just reach out and dunk her, which kinda takes her by surprise. "Quentin," she says, "how could you?" But she's not mad, she is smiling. "Couldn't resist Lucy," she is hanging on my shoulder now, her smile lighting up her face, I have one arm around her waist holding her close to me, and I'm just laughing at nothing now. Suddenly, my feet are yanked out from under me and we are unceremoniously dragged under. It's an underwater sneak attack by Ben and Radar. Angela and Lacey are in the pool now, and everybody is laughing at me. My "friends" commence the verbal assault, Radar firing the first shot: "Lucy…it is so kind of you to invite a refugee to the party…make sure he eats something tonight, we're afraid a stiff breeze will wisk him away. And keep him in the sun for a few hours, he is too pale to hang with us." Lacey is all over that one, "Q looks like he could work undercover when the zombie apocalypse comes…he'll fit right in." Everybody gets a good laugh at that one, Ben fists bumps Lacey, "Tru dat Lace" he says and Angela follows with a "you go girlfriend" high five. I look at Radar and shrug, he is thoroughly enjoying this roasting. I really don't care because now Lucy is behind me with her arms around my neck, her head over my shoulder and her legs wrapped around my hips piggyback style. I can feel her entire body pressed against my back, her hips against my lower back and her breasts across the back of my shoulders. "I like him exactly the way he is" Lucy says and plants a kiss on my cheek. "Radar lets out a long scream…aaaaahhhhh, don't kiss him Lucy, there's no known antidote for kissing Q…you're risking a slow and painful death." Ben is making gagging noises, Angela and Lacey are shielding their eyes in mock horror. I realize that there may be a grain of truth in Radar's wisecrack…the last girl that kissed me is essentially MIA. It is a very hot night, even for summer in Orlando, and kids of all ages are in the pool. Lacey and Angela are talking to Kayla and Kyra. Ben and Radar are hanging with Lucy and I, and she continues to hold on to me as we walk into deeper water where we can stand but she can't. "Ben, you look so cute with that haircut," Lucy says. "You're right Lucy, Radar jumps right on it, I was looking for the right word to describe it…cute, especially the blond surfer boy look on top…that adds to the cuteness." "Dude, you look like a window mannequin for a surf shop," I say, piling on. "Lucy, they envy my keen fashion sense and are jealous of my devastatingly handsome appearance," Ben replies. "Well I like your haircut Ben," Lucy says, "don't listen to them." Then she changes the subject, "Come on you guys, let's get something to eat before the band starts." There's a band? I think to myself.

We all get out of the pool, the girls put on their cover ups or tee shirts and we hit the grille. The food smells great and all of a sudden I'm actually hungry…a sensation that has eluded me lately. I skip the steaks, but get a skewer of grilled shrimp, some french fries, macaroni salad and a tall glass of sweet tea. Ben and Radar each get a huge steak, a shrimp skewer and then fill their plates with a sampling of almost everything else. The girls all get salads or fruit, and we all head to our lounge chair fortress for dinner. Lacey inspects the food on my plate and rubs my head, giving me a nod as she walks by. She has a plate with some romaine lettuce leaves with several melon balls on top of the lettuce and a glass of ice water, reinforcing Ben's observation that Lacey has "a weird relationship" with food. Lucy has a salad with fruit as well, but says to me as we sit down "Q, can I have a couple of your shrimp? I like them but I can't finish a whole skewer." "Sure Lucy, help yourself," I reply. I'm watching Lacey, waiting for her to sit down and spot Ben's overflowing plate. I nudge Lucy and whisper, "watch this." Lacey looks at Ben's plate, turns her gaze directly to me, gives me the super sized eye roll and shakes her head in disapproval. We both get a kick out of her reaction and I say to her, "No worries Lace, he's still a growing boy."

Some other people that the Country Club girls know come over and sit with us, quick introductions are made and there is a lot of chatter as everyone enjoys their dinner. Lucy gets up and grabs my hand, "come with me Q, while I get another drink." "Ok," I agree, a little late as I'm already in tow toward the cabana. "Lucy, over here," someone says. "Oh God, it's my mom, sorry Quentin" Lucy says. Still in tow, it appears I'm about to meet Lucy's mom. "Moaaaaaam…whaaat," Lucy channels her best middle school princess outrage. "Nothing honey, just wanted to say hi and meet your friend," she replies smiling. "Mom, this is Quentin, Quentin this is my mom," the exasperated, 8th grade version of Lucy says, so I cheerfully wade in. "Hi Mrs. Hanratty, Quentin Jacobsen, so nice to meet you." "Very nice to meet you as well, Quentin," she replies. Mrs. Hanratty is a 40something version of Lucy, and that's not a bad thing, she is an attractive woman and my first thought is that she would make the cut in Ben's weirdo/pervy fascination with hot moms. Also, I realize that this is what Lucy will look like in 25 years. Lucy is impatient with her mom but her demeanor changes in a hot second. I see where Lucy gets her looks, now I can see where she gets her athleticism. "Hi daddy" Lucy says, "this is my friend Quentin." I step toward him right hand outstretched to shake hands…"hello sir, Quentin Jacobsen." "Hello Quentin," he replies as I receive a firm, businesslike handshake, not bone crushing like some jerk with something to prove, but a handshake one would expect from a confident person. Three thoughts strike me simultaneously, 1: Lucy is definitely daddy's little girl, 2: I would never want this dude really mad at me, and 3: Margo's "confident Q" admonition is among the best of the many gifts she bestowed upon me. Courtesy of Radar via Angela, I have already been briefed about Lucy's father. John Jackson "Jack" Hanratty, self made businessman, founder and sole proprietor of Jack Hanratty HVAC. Radar explained to me what an HVAC contractor does, all I remember is something about air conditioning, which is obviously big in Florida. Apparently Mr. Hanratty learned the trade after high school, worked briefly for someone else until he decided he could do better by himself, so he quit his job, bought an old, clapped out work van and ran his business out of his parents garage for a couple of years, taking small jobs that he could handle himself. His business grew over the years and he now presides over an HVAC empire. "It's nice to meet the famous Q we've heard so much about," he says smiling at his daughter. "Daaady" Lucy says and playfully smacks him on his arm, "you're embarrassing Quentin," she says to her father. "No sir," I say to him,"I'm neither embarrassed nor famous," which makes Mr. Hanratty laugh. "Come on Q," once again, I'm in tow, "let's listen to the band…bye mom, bye dad," Lucy calls out as we move away. I wave and follow up with a "nice to meet you" as Lucy pulls me toward the music.

"I'm so sorry Q," Lucy begins, "my mom is so embarrassing, she always does stuff like that just to annoy me, she had to come over and make a big scene in front of you," she continues. "That's what moms do," I reply, "it's their job to humiliate their children in front of their friends, my mom is an expert humiliator." Lucy jumps in, "I don't think humiliator is a word Q." You're right Lucy…my mom is an expert at humiliation," I correct myself and Lucy smiles, "one up on the great Quentin Jacobsen," she says as she makes an imaginary stroke on an imaginary blackboard with her finger. "I thought your mom and dad seemed nice," I say which draws an "Oh Gawd" and an eye roll in reply. We find everyone else, they have moved closer to see the band. They are playing music my parents would enjoy…which makes sense as this party is really for the adults, the children and young adults are along for the ride. Some girls start dancing and some of the adults start dancing as well, the alcohol is flowing for them, but not for us obviously. Ben and Lacey get up and hit the "dance floor" which is not a floor at all but a section of the pool deck. It is one of the many things they have in common, they both like to dance. Ben told me they danced to most of the songs at prom. It seems like all eyes are on them all of a sudden, the girls think Ben is cute and the guys, well guys of all ages can't help but notice Lacey. I feel Lucy's hand tugging on my shoulder, she is standing on her toes , so I lean over and she whispers, "let's go." I may be the new and improved confident Q, but there are some things I still don't want to do, and one of them is dance with anyone…except Margo Roth Spiegelman. I'm sure if a shrink probed the inner workings of my brain, they would trace my aversion to dancing all the way back to my 6th grade Crown School of Dance classes, the site of my biggest and longest lasting humiliation, one in which Margo gleefully participated I remind myself. I turn to tell Lucy, that I really suck at dancing and don't want to display my ineptitude, but she has a mischievous look on her face so I just follow her lead. She pulls me out onto the dance floor, but keeps moving through all of the people, around the band, between the cabana and the big grille, and into the shadows. "Where are we going?" I ask her, but I'm thinking, impressive young Lucy, that was very Margoesque. It looked for all the world like we were getting up to dance but it was really a well planned escape. She smiles but doesn't answer, we keep walking along the tennis courts and along the end of the main clubhouse. We turn left and walk in front of the clubhouse and climb a few stairs onto a large veranda overlooking the golf course.

It is almost dark now, only twilight remains and the veranda is deserted. Nothing much is going on inside the clubhouse, most of the members are getting liquored up at the pool party, we have the place to ourselves. Lucy walks behind an outdoor bar which appears to be unstocked, opens a door and slides out a cooler. She flips open the lid and it is packed with ice, the tops of six green beer bottles are poking out of the ice. "Whoa…nice touch Lucy" I say as I reach into the cooler, grab a beer, twist off the top and hand it to Lucy…all in one smooth motion. "Cool," she exclaims taking the bottle. I extract a second one from the ice pack, twist off the top and take a long drink, again all in one motion. We clink the bottles together, "cheers, this is a surprise," I say, "how did you get them?" "Once I was sure you were coming tonight I had one of my friends who works here put it out for me," Lucy explains, "it's the same beer in the green bottle you were drinking at Jase's last week…its good to have a plan" she adds. "How did you know that you and I would be coming out here?" smiling as I ask. She just smiles coyly and then gives me the did you have to ask eye roll.

We sit down on one of the couch length pieces of furniture on the veranda. It is the most luxurious porch furniture I've ever seen, large, overstuffed cushions, very comfortable. Lucy sits and turns toward me, curling her legs up right next to me so she is facing me, I'm turned toward her as well so we are facing each other. It is dark and quiet here, we can hear the music and occasional laughter from the pool but it seems distant, crickets and other nocturnal insects are making their own music. The overwhelming sound is the lack of noise however, compelling me to whisper even though I could scream at the top of my lungs and it is doubtful anyone would hear me. Seems like she always has a plan, just like Margo, I say to myself as I reach my free arm around her and pull her a little closer and whisper, "I like a girl with a plan." She smiles, that 1000 watt smile seems to light up everything, and we just sit there enjoying the moment… a moment suspended in time…the warm summer night, the smell of fresh cut grass from the golf course, the darkness, the crickets…and the silence. We sit for untimed minutes, letting it all wash over us, neither one of us wanting to break the spell. Somewhere in the darkness, a door opens and closes and the sound of solitary footsteps, fading as whomever it is walks away from us, snaps us out of our trance. I realize that I unconsciously finished my beer so I say to her, "want another one?" "Yeah, but not just yet." I get up and fish another bottle out of the cooler, going through what has now become a beer bottle opening ritual and quickly return to my seat. Lucy snuggles closer to me and says, "Quentin," her gaze fixed on me now, "I know you have been through the wringer over the last few weeks, and I don't know the details, nor do I want to know them. I just want to hang out with you and have some fun this summer. I have no idea what you are thinking, but I like hanging with you. I didn't know that for sure until tonight, but I know it now. I'm kinda hoping you feel the same way." I set down my drink and brush her straight black hair away from her face, she just looks at me, it's the kiss me now you dumbass look, and for once in my miserable life I actually do. She closes her eyes and we kiss…a soft and pleasant kiss that doesn't last too long…a kiss that is just right for the moment. "I like hanging with you too Lucy," is all I say and all that needed to be said, anything else would have effed up the moment. "Are you really the slowest driver in Florida under the age of 75?" she asks, giggling like a middle school girl as she asks it. I burst into laughter, the way she switched gears and the way she was laughing about it was just funny. I mention something about 1: tonight being Radar's last night on this earth and 2: that my friends are morons and I really am a good driver, but it fails to convince her.

Now Lucy is sitting on my lap but we're not making out, we're talking…talking and laughing like we've known each other for years. I like this band or that song, so do I. How Radar got his nickname…he doesn't look like the character from that old TV show…yeah, but he did when we were 11. Lacey and Ben are like a celebrity couple…you should have seen Ben six weeks ago.I explain the Lacey Pemberton Boyfriend Makeover Project to Lucy…she did a hell of a job she says. This is my favorite book…I read that one too. So you really WANTED a minivan…no, not really. This goes on for quite some time, we are in our own little world completely relaxed and disarmed when suddenly Lucy gets up, straddles me, sits down on my lap and plants another kiss on me, this one decidedly not soft and sweet. This one is hot and sexy with her body pressed against mine. It is the kind of kiss that holds the promise of many more delightful things to come. We continue to kiss for a long time, passions are really starting to rise, we're both breathing like we just ran a marathon, then she pulls away and breathlessly says, "God Q, we gotta go back before my mom, or worse, my dad figures out we're missing. How long have we been here she says?" She looks so beautiful, her face flushed and her lips puffy from kissing. "I dunno Lucy, the music is still playing, so it can't be too late," I reply, the scary mental image of Mr. Hanratty waiting for us as we reappear out of the shadows flashes through my mind, so we get up, put the cooler away and start back toward the party. She grabs my arm and pulls close to me, as we walk back she is looking at me and says, "sorry Q, I lost track of time…I just don't want to get into it with my parents." "No worries Lucy…we have all summer." "Here's the plan Q," she explains, "we'll walk all the way past the tennis courts, around the locker room and dive into the pool from the other side. That way if my mom is looking for us we can say we were in this end of the pool all the time." So that is exactly what we do, I peel off my tee shirt, she takes off her cover up and hands it to me, I ball them up and toss them on a lounge chair as we walk by. As we get closer to the pool, we pick up the pace and both take a running dive into the pool. We surface, she swims over to me and kisses me and I say, "did I mention that I like a girl with a plan?"

It is still very hot, probably close to 90 so there are all kinds of people in the pool, Lucy spots her friends Kayla and Kyra in the pool talking to some boys and says, "Q, come on, let's go over there with Kayla and Kyra, which we do, and Kayla says, "your mom was nosing around, by the band looking for you about 5 minutes ago, we told her you were probably in the pool."

"And…you weren't lying, Lucy replies, "we were in the pool, right Q?" "Damn straight" I say with conviction as all three girls giggle like they were 12 years old. It doesn't take long for Ben and Lacy, Radar and Angela to spot us. They walk around the pool to where we are and Ben says, "Bro, we texted you like a million times, where were you?" "In the pool Ben…without my cell phone which by the way, can't swim." Everybody laughs. "Well, anyway, its 11:30, the band stops at 11:30 so on the way home, we're gonna stop at Vinny's and get a pizza and hang out for a little while." "Whatever," I say, "Lace, don't leave without me, ok?" "How could I possibly forget you Q" she says sarcastically. We get out of the pool and I go into the locker room to change. There is a pile of clean white towels so I grab one to dry off before I change. These towels are more plush than any we have in our house and I briefly contemplate stuffing one in my backpack, but that is an asshole move so I just toss it in the hamper, get dressed and head back out of the locker room…through the IN door because I'm a rebel. Lucy changes too and she looks terrific, jeans shorts a white top pulled down over her shoulders and really high wedge heels which makes her toned legs look even better if that is possible. Also, this brings her closer to my height. Lacey says to her, "come with us Lucy, we're going to Vinny's to hang out, I'll take you home." "I'll ask my mom, but I'm pretty sure she will make me go home with them," she replies. "Q come with me while I look for my mom," Lucy says grabbing my hand and pulling me along with her. "Quentin, I really had fun hanging with you tonight, we just met but it feels as though we've been friends forever, it seemed like we talked for hours. I hope we can do it again soon," she says to me. "I enjoyed our long talk as well Lucy," I reply, and I want to hang with you again too," I tell her. We are slowly walking toward the cabana bar where all the adults are still partying. "Also, I really enjoyed kissing you Lucy, you're a great kisser," I whisper to her. "Quentin Jacobsen!" she replies in mock outrage as she gives me a shove, then she grabs my arm and pulls me back to face her. She has a wicked little grin as she leans in to whisper, "I was just getting warmed up, Q" then she playfully shoves me away again. I'm just about to say something when I see her mom headed toward us. "Hi Mrs. Hanratty" I say to her. She says "there you two are, I was looking for you earlier." "We were in the pool mom," she says, but she is looking at me with that wicked little grin. "Q and I were dancing for so long and he got so hot that I had to cool him down." I have a look of pure panic on my face, but Lucy is just laughing as I squirm until her mom says, "that's nice honey it's really hot tonight." I finally exhale and blurt out, "yea, really hot." "Mom, where's daddy, I want to ask him something," she says. He's over there honey, what do you want" her mom replies. Lucy turns to me and says, " I'll be right back." "I'll be over there with Ben and Radar," I tell her. I get one more naughty glance as she turns and heads off to find her father. "Goodnight Mrs Hanratty, this was a fun party and it was very nice to meet you," I say to her mom. "Good night Quentin, I'm sure we'll see you again soon." I start back to where everyone is standing, and all I can think of is…wow, but I don't even get there as Lucy has already caught up to me. "Needed to cool me off?" I say to her. She laughs again and says, "my mom is oblivious, but I really loved watching you squirm when I said it." "Squirm? I thought I was gonna stroke out right on the spot, YOU…"I say with emphasis "are a naughty girl." "I have to go home with my parents, so I can't go with you guys, but I'll walk you out to the car," she says." "Let's do something Sunday" she says, "are you doing anything Sunday?" "Yeah, I'm busy…I have a date with Lucy Hanratty," I quickly reply, which makes her laugh. We're out in the parking lot now and I turn to her and we share a long goodnight kiss.

Lucy goes back into the party and I get into the back seat of the Audi, which is eerily quiet. Slowly, they both turn around and are looking right at me. "Whaaaat…she's a nice girl, we were just having fun," I say bracing myself for the Ben onslaught. But it is Lacey who lets me have it. "Quentin Jacobsen you cradle robber," she begins, did you take advantage of that sweet young girl?" "No," I say…"we were just talking." "We were just talking," Lacey mocks me, "for an hour and a half…what were you talking about, how to get her out of that skimpy bikini no doubt." Lacey is laughing now as Ben fist bumps her. She starts the car and we head to Vinny's. "Bro, she's super hot you better have hit that" Ben says as Lacey smacks him on the shoulder. "Quentin is too much of a gentleman to "hit" anybody," Lacey says. Unfortunately…that statement is accurate. Also, based on that skimpy bikini comment, there is a new addition to the hot chic list that Lacey continuously monitors.

We roll into the lot at Vinny's and park right next to Radar's mom's Volvo wagon. We go in through the take out door, say hi to Vinny, get the standard, "Mia, how you kids doin," response, and into the restaurant where Radar and Angela have already commandeered a round table in the middle of the room. Ben, Lacey and I sit down and everyone at the table is looking right at me, not saying anything. I realize that I am at an inquisition, and I am the inquisitionee. "Comeooooonnnnn…" I drag it out, "not you guys too." Radar starts; I gotta hand it to you Q, you devised a clever getaway plan on the dance floor, did you really think I would miss that," he asks? "OMG you guys, we went for a little walk, we were just talking." I'm defending myself now. Angela says, "what did you do Q, walk the back nine?" "A little 1 hour and 24 minute walk…approximately." Radar adds, to which I reply, "Thank you Mr. Spock, that will be all," Ben laughs, the girls are making quizzical faces, Mr. Spock? I'm not surprised that Radar recorded the elapsed time while Lucy and I were on the veranda. He is likely timing several mundane or weird occurrences as we speak for his own edification. "No," I say, "we walked around to the front of the clubhouse and sat on the veranda, we drank a couple of beers, talked and laughed about nothing in particular, lost track of time a little bit, then came back to the party." "Beers…where did you get beer?" Ben is incredulous and adds, "how come you two got beer and I didn't?" Then Radar says, "it took an hour and twenty four minutes to peel you two apart, that's why you were gone so long." Angela, gives him a whack and says, "stop talking about my friend like that," but she is smiling, she's not angry. While all of this questioning is going on and unbeknownst to me, pizza and drinks have been ordered and served. "Anyway," I continue to defend myself in front of the inquisition panel; "I didn't plan anything. That slick getaway through the dance crowd…Lucy's idea, time alone on the veranda…Lucy's idea, a cooler packed with ice and 6 bottles of beer…Lucy had it stashed there by one of her friends. She had a plan for everything, she even had a plan to return to the party unobserved…and a good one too because I know none of you saw us return, even you Radar." "Wait a minute Q," Angela says, "are you saying that Lucy Hanratty, sweet, innocent Lucy, my childhood friend, planned all of that ahead of time? Not buying it Q," Angela is shaking her head as she says that, "she is a sweet girl, and has been for as long as I've known her." "Well Angela, she has a mischievous side that you don't know about, that's all I can say." I look at Radar and he is sitting there, staring at Ben, who is frozen in place, the color drained from his face. Ben blurts out, "Oh sweet Baby Jesus, a girl who plans everything ahead of time…Q's Kryptonite…here we go again people." Everybody cracks up, well almost everybody, I notice Angela isn't laughing.

On cue, Ben changes the subject…damn he is good at that. "How about all of those drunks at the bar," he says, "man, those dudes can party." "They sure do know how to have fun Ben, that pool party is legendary" Angela continues, in fact, we probably got out of there at the right time, before they all start throwing people in the pool." Everybody laughs, Angela adds, "They're worse than a bunch of kids when they get going." Now everybody is talking about who was there, what they were wearing, where did that kid go to school, the girls are laughing at who knows what, Ben and Radar are talking about some girl they know, but suddenly I find myself detached from all of it, almost like I was sitting at the next table listening. A thought crosses my mind, it's about Margo of course, I wonder what she is doing right now. Is she sitting somewhere very hip with her cool new friends engaging in witty repartee? I'm sure the last thing she is thinking about is some schmoe she used to know from Florida. Ben is right…Margo is my Kryptonite. "Quennnntinnn" Lacey's voice snaps me back…are you ready to go?

"Whenever you are Lace," I say. We get up and leave, while we're walking out I catch up to Angela and tell her, "thanks so much for inviting me Angela, I had a great time. I was never at JPark before, it is a beautiful place. I'm sorry I missed meeting your Mom and Dad too." I'm very happy you came tonight Quentin…not as happy as someone I know, but still glad you came."

They get in the Volvo, we get in the Audi, I'm in my usual 3rd wheel position in the back seat, it's a 5 minute ride to my house tops, Radar backs out of his spot and heads off to wherever, Lacey starts her car but we just sit there. "Mr. Jacobsen…I'd like to have a further discussion about the "we lost track of time a little bit," a very shaky part of your story." Lacey says, trying to be stern. "Exactly what where you doing that you lost track of time?" "A gentleman never kisses and tells Lacey," I reply, "however, a steamy make out session cannot be ruled out," I add in a stage whisper. Without another word, Lacey puts the car in gear and heads toward my house. Surfer Ben turns around, and mouths, so Lacey can't hear, "awesome bro" and gives me the double thumbs up. As we pull into my driveway I tell Lacey, "I get my car back soon so you won't have to chauffeur me forever Lace. Thanks for driving, that was a great night guys."

I get out of the car and as they drive away I find myself standing in my driveway with a dopey grin on my face contemplating everything that happened tonight with Lucy. Slowly I begin to realize that something that had so much meaning to me, something I did for my entire life doesn't even register…Margo's window. Like Jay Gatsby reaching for the green light in the distance on Daisy's dock, I would always look up at Margo's window, she was so close, right there within reach, yet so far away from me. Now it's just a window in my neighbor's house with a poster of Woody Guthrie quickly fading in the summer sun, gazing at my window like the eyes of Fitzgerald's ever watchful oculist, Dr. T. J. Eckleberg. The _"colossal significance of that window has vanished forever"_ and like Gatsby, _"(my) count of enchanted objects has diminished by one."_ That special night, the night that Margo opened my window after telling me to close the very same one nine years earlier, set in motion the unimaginable chain of events that changed everything. It was the end of the Margo of my imagination, and the beginning of Margo the girl…the girl I understand better than anyone…the girl I love unconditionally. I go in my house and go right to bed, but not until I check my e mail, and my junk box, and the comments page. What to do about Lucy Hanratty…but I quickly fall asleep…crazy dreams are postponed for at least one night, thank God.

Chapter 6 - McLovin

I wake up early on Saturday refreshed and in a good mood. I have 3 hours of work this morning. First thing I do is check my laptop for a Margo missive, there is nothing, but the usual sadness I feel because there is no message from her does not change my mood this morning. My dad is ready to leave, he hates Saturday office hours, but has to deal with them a few times a year, so my mom tells him to go and she will take me to the office. As soon as my dad leaves she says, "how was the party last night?" "Great I respond, it was a lot of fun." Before she starts quizzing me about my feelings or something, I tell her about Ben's new haircut, leaving the blond streak for the end of the story which she finds most amusing. "I'm dying to see that," she says. "Don't worry," I reply, "he is bound to show up over the weekend at some point. Quickly, I get ready for work and grab a bowl of cereal and milk to eat while my mom drives me to the office. "Just like old times," I say to her. I tilt the bowl as required to counter the centrifugal forces that would spill the contents all over my mom's van as she navigates the streets of Jefferson Park. "I forgot to tell you, your car will be finished on Monday, you can pick it up after work." This is good news as well I think, I'm back on the road. I could leave Monday night to meet Margo in some mysterious, secret location I imagine. Except that there is no mysterious location, it's not secret because there is no Margo…or there is no Margo that wants to tell me where she is let alone see me. My phone buzzes.

Today, 8:55 AM

Lucy: Hi, are you awake? I had fun last night!

The exclamation point is followed by two heart emojis

Q: So did I, it was a terrific night…well planned I might add. I'm on my way to work right now, I get off at 12. Lets talk later.

Lucy: K

Read: 8:55 AM.

"Who is texting you?" My mom asks as she turns into the office parking lot. "Nobody mom, it's just Ben." She pulls up to the front door and says as I get out of the van, "Ben uses heart emojis when he texts you?" "Bye mom." I say and close the door without answering. How the hell can she see my phone and drive at the same time I think, as I head into the office for three hours of mindless work.

Usually, the time I spend at work flies by. Even though they are mindless tasks, I'm kept busy and before I know it, work is over for the day. Today proves to be the exception however and it is because my mind is working overtime. Today's topic?…one Lucy Hanratty, pretty girl and great kisser. I can't seem to figure out what is gnawing at me though, there are no apparent issues, she seems to like me, I sure do like her…especially after last night…she is mischievous and naughty, fun to hang out with, absolutely gorgeous in a bikini, what's not to like, I think to myself. So after I agonize about her all morning, I finally decide there is nothing to agonize over except that Quentin Jacobsen, world class agonizer, needs to chill and enjoy the summer.

Noon comes rolling around and I ride home with my dad who also informs me that my car will be ready Monday afternoon. As soon as I get home, I go in my bedroom and text the girl with the 1000 watt smile…whatever reservations I was harboring earlier have been superseded by what a great girl she seems to be.

Today 12:25 PM

Q: Hey, what are you doing?

Lucy: I'm being really lazy, when you said you were at work, I went back to bed, just got up.

Q: If I had my car, I'd be at your house in no time, you could ride around with me all day in your pajamas and we can just talk.

Q: If you wanted to go somewhere with me, that is.

Lucy: I don't wear pajamas when I'm in bed.

Q: Even better…I'd love to see what you do wear…I have a good mental image going on right now.

Lucy: I'm pretty sure you're gonna find out exactly what I wear in bed sooner or later.

Holy shit, I think to myself…can this really be happening to me?

Q: I'd like to register my preference for sooner.

Lucy: I'll pick you up in an hour…we'll ride, but I'm wearing clothes…this time.

Q: Ok, do you know where I live?

Lucy: Really Q?

Read 12:26 PM.

This is when my quick shower and clothes change skills come in handy. I'm out of the shower and ready to go in 15 minutes, wearing somewhat acceptable shirt and shorts. I smile as I imagine Lacey inspecting my attire like a general inspecting her troops. "Oh sweetie…nooooo," she would say as she shakes her head in disapproval. I think that's why I like Lacey so much, she appears to be genuinely concerned for my well being in a Lacey sort of way. I go right to my laptop, nothing…Margo is drifting away from me…I still have that image the Orlando cop used to describe Margo, an untethered balloon drifting further and further away, mingling with other balloons until she became unidentifiable…lost, and isn't that exactly what she wanted? I can feel turmoil between my feelings for Margo and some of the stuff that is going on in my life now. I'm not really sure how to…I become aware of knocking on my bedroom door…my mom. "Quentin…you have a friend here to see you," and adds with a smile, "must be that heart emoji person." Oh crap I think…my mom. I look at my phone and there is a text from Lucy…"I'm in your driveway." Dammit I think, now I'll have to submit to another inquisition. I hope she didn't start on Lucy…that would scare her away for sure. I run by my mom and into the kitchen where Lucy is standing; Wildcats Track & Field tee shirt with the winged foot centered on the shirt, stylish UA running shorts and sneakers looking every bit the athlete she is. She is not wearing any makeup and her 1000 watt smile is on display. "Geez I'm sorry Lucy, I was still in the shower when you got here, I guess I just lost track of time" My hair is still wet so that story appears plausible. "You lost track of time last night too Q," she quickly replies, and flashes that wicked little grin. She turns and says to my mom, "nice to meet you Mrs. Jacobsen," and walks right by me saying, "come on Q, lets not waste the day," and out through the garage we go before my mom can even say anything.

We get in her car and she backs out of the driveway. "Your mom is very nice," she says. I quickly reply, "I'm so sorry Lucy, how did she know you were outside?" I don't think she did Q, it seemed like she was going somewhere just as I pulled in. She didn't seem surprised to see me though." "I'm sorry anyway…did she attempt to quiz you at all?" "She is an inquisicator," I say trying to make her laugh. "Not a word Q," she smiles, "but you know that so I can't claim a point, can I?" "Normally, no, but I'm feeling magnanimous today so a point is hereby awarded."

She looks at me and smiles, then returns her attention to the road. We are driving the same road we did last night, we pass the Jefferson Park Country Club, continue east until we reach Tuscaloosa Road where she turns left. She is sitting erect and close to the steering wheel, both hands are on the wheel of her very cool Volvo S60R convertible, it is dark blue with a lighter blue convertible top. The roof is up, the windows are closed and the a/c is blasting as it is a blistering hot Orlando summer day. "Cool car," I say…"not as cool as a minivan, but still, cool car." She laughs, "It's my mom's," she replies like she is disappointed about that. "I tell people it's mine if I'm trying to impress them or something," she adds as she shoots me a sly grin. "I'll just pretend I didn't hear that obvious snub," I quickly reply, attempting to sound upset, which makes her laugh again. "So, are we just driving aimlessly on "TusckaLucy" road," she even laughs at the juvenile play on the street name, "or do you have a destination in mind?" "Quentin, she says in mock exasperation, "relax and enjoy the drive." "Ok Lucy, I promise," holding up my right hand like I was in court, "but I'm enjoying the driver much more," which gets me the full 1000 watt smile.

We continue to drive, the car stereo is on but it is turned down low so we can talk. Lucy says, "I really wanted to go with you guys last night, but my mom…she can be such a pain. Did you have fun at Vinny's?" "Everybody had fun but me, I tell her, "or to be precise, since you couldn't come with us, everybody had fun at my expense." She gives me a quizzical look. "They roasted me from the minute I got into Lacey's car until the minute they dropped me off and every minute in between. They were relentless," I tell her. I realize Lucy seems a little worried, like maybe she thinks they don't like her or something, so I quickly reassure her. "It's all in good fun Lucy. Ben, Radar and I have been razzing each other since middle school, Ben has been our number one target for years, and no topic is off limits." I explain. "Lacey and Angela play the game well too. Lacey in particular can really dish it out when she wants. Lacey has been teasing me about you since the night we first met at Vinny's when you gave me your phone number," I continue. "Now that I think about it, Lacey knew you Kayla and Kyra were Angela's friends. Anyway, if they didn't like you, they wouldn't say anything at all." I tell her. "Ok," Lucy says, "so like how were they riding you, what were they saying?" "Lacey called me a cradle robber, and when I told her we were just having fun and talking, she said I was probably trying to talk you right out of your bikini. Angela stuck up for you though, she said you were a proper young woman or something like that. Anyway, they wouldn't let up all night." I explain. I look at her and she is looking straight ahead, expressionless, which now all of a sudden has me worried, maybe this is too much information or something, but a little smile breaks out and she says, "I get it from my friends too Q. Angela is always calling me daddy's little girl and the three of them call me "goody two shoes," which I'm not by the way, but everybody thinks I am." "For us, it's alway been harmless," I tell her. "Even though the teasing and insults might sound harsh, they aren't, they are my friends, they're fair game in my opinion." That makes her laugh and the mood lightens up.

While all of this has been going on we have arrived at our destination. Florida is a state with water on three sides, plus water everywhere else. There are lakes of all sizes everywhere, the state basically floats. So even though this place is about an hour from my house, I've never been here. Here is Lake Jessica, and specifically Lookout Park. We park the car and head for the water. It is a very hot afternoon but there are a lot of trees and pavilions with picnic tables scattered about. There is a walking path along the water shaded by the tree cover and a long dock that juts out into the lake. This is a big lake, we can barely see the other shore, there are power boats and bass fishing boats on the lake and there is almost a hint of a cool breeze coming off the water. "Wow…Lucy…this is really a nice spot," I say and follow up with, "how did you find this place?" "This is where I bring boys who aren't nice to me and feed them to the gators," she says with a serious look on her face but she breaks into a smile, gives me a shove and takes off running on the path along the lake. I run after her, she has a beautiful stride, I notice how the muscles in her calfs and thighs and are toned and taut. The idea that I am going to run anywhere is far fetched, but keeping up with Lucy…zero chance of that happening. After I run what seems to me to be a long distance but in reality is not very far at all, I stop and start walking, I'm sucking wind and sweating, it's kind of embarrassing. Lucy, who is far out in front of me in this impromptu foot race, turns around and runs back. "Little out of shape Q?" She asks even though the answer is obvious. "This is my shape, and it's not too good," I say, still sucking wind. "Besides, I can't be expected to keep pace with a track star."

"Who said that I was a track star," she demands. "I have spies everywhere," I reply. She grabs my arm, "Come on Q, we'll get some cold bottles of water and get you cooled down," and adds, "this is the second time I've had to cool you down in two days." I'm in tow again as we head for what appears to be the main building in this complex. "This isn't where they keep the gators is it?" going for the laugh. She smiles but then turns and faces me, throws her arms over my shoulders, pulling herself close. She looks right at me, her beautiful pale green eyes lock with mine and says, "I've got a much better plan for you than feeding you to the gators." She kisses me on my neck, right under my ear, it is just a quick kiss but it is very sensual…she knows exactly where the sweet spot is, then playfully shoves me away again. She turns and heads toward the building, looks over her shoulder with a mischievous grin and says, "the gators remain an option however."

Inside the building there is a concession window and Lucy buys two, 1 liter bottles of water. I grab one, twist off the lid and hand it to her, then the other one, attempting to replicate the smooth, one motion beer bottle opening routine but as I take a long drink I make the mistake of squeezing the plastic bottle and water squirts all over my face and basically everywhere else. Also, I'm pretty much drowning, I'm doubled over, choking on water. Lucy is hysterical…"smooth move dude," she can barely get it out she is laughing so hard, so I aim my bottle at her and squeeze, she sees it coming but I still land a partial hit. This is immediately followed by a retaliatory strike, now I'm drenched. An all out water war is averted as we are being deadeyed big time by the woman in the concession window. We get out of there fast, we're both laughing like 10 year old kids. We walk back to the lake and along the path until we get to a bench shaded by the trees. I sit down, she sits close to me, legs curled up, turned toward me, just like the night before. "Many thanks Ms. Hanratty, for cooling me off yet again," I say. "Whatever it takes Mr. Jacobsen," she replies with a smile.

We just sit there enjoying our surroundings, it is quiet and peaceful, not too many people at this park today. We seem to have it to ourselves for the most part, almost like we reserved the place. Like the night before on the country club veranda, the overwhelming sound is silence, occasionally broken by the sound of a power boat far out on the lake, or a car off in the distance. Close by, there is a lone fisherman in his bass boat, silently moving across the water, propelled by his little electric motor seeking a better spot to fish. Neither of us say anything, we both instinctively know not to break the trance. It is enough just to be together…time is suspended. An unknown amount of time passes until we become aware of footsteps running toward us. A bunch of young kids run past our bench, behind them are two young moms yelling, "guys…guys, wait for us," and the spell is broken. I give absolutely no thought at all to how what comes out of my mouth will be received. Apparently, I don't care either, as I hear my voice verbalizing exactly what I've been thinking all day. "I couldn't wait until tomorrow to see you Lucy, I'm glad you texted me this morning." Why did I say that, thinking that it was an over the top stupid thing to say. She doesn't seem surprised upon hearing it, actually it seems as though she was expecting me to say something like that because she gets up on her knees and puts her lips right next to my ear and says, "It's all part of the plan Q, I couldn't wait until tomorrow to see you either." I pull her closer and we kiss, it is a tender, sweet kiss.

"Quentin," she says, "there is something I have to tell you, please don't be mad at me." This is the other shoe dropping, I say to myself. Whenever someone calls me Quentin, the next thing they say is never good…for me. "I wanted to tell you this last night, but I just couldn't because we were having so much fun. Then, I wanted to tell you as soon as you got in the car, but we were talking," she continues. "I was going to tell you when we got here, but we were enjoying the day so much, I just couldn't do it." "Lucy, what's wrong, I say…just tell me. "I'm leaving for vacation with my parents on Monday," she says. "That's nice Lucy, why would I be mad about that? Where are you going?" I ask. "We have a beach house in Sea Island, Georgia," she replies, we leave Monday…and we won't be back until the end of July," she tells me almost in a whisper. "Oh" is all I can manage, unable to hide my disappointment. Another girl running away from me, where have I seen this before, I say to myself. Lucy seems upset for just a second as she continues, "Q, I begged my mom and dad to let me stay home until the July 4th week, but they wouldn't even consider it. They said that I was too young to be home alone, but I'm pretty sure they know I wanted to stay home to hang out with you." she explains. I'm unsure how to process that one, my mind starts overthinking this. Do they think she is too young to stay home, or do they not want her to hang out with me. I put my hand on her cheek and brush her long black hair away from her face and say, "Do we still have a date tomorrow?" She perks up and answers, "We sure do Q." I continue, "we still have the balance of the day today don't we, and we have all night tonight as well, right?" "Yes we do," she answers smiling now. "Well my suggestion is that we live in the here and now and deal with Monday on Monday, what do you think? "I like a guy with a plan," she says as she straddles me and kisses me, this time a hot and hungry kiss, the kind of kiss that you want to last forever.

We continue to kiss for a while, there is no one around and we can't get enough of each other. Obviously, we can't rip off our clothes and ravage each other on a park bench so another steamy make out session goes to waste. We get up and walk along the path to the wooden dock that juts out into the lake. I have my arm around her, holding her as close as I can as we walk. We get to the end of the dock, it is early evening and the sun is beginning to cast longer shadows. We stand there for a few minutes taking it all in then she says, "I'm sure you have had your fill of girls leaving town." "At least you're telling me you're leaving," I reply, "and you're planning to return too," I add. I realize that this is the first mention Lucy has made of Margo. I assume she knows a good part of the story, and I begin to wonder exactly how much she knows and what she thinks about it. We linger on the dock for several minutes, then we walk back to the car and head for home. As soon as we get on the road, she says, "Promise me Q, promise me you'll come to Sea Island for a visit, it's a great place. Our house is huge and it is right on the beach. Angela, Kayla and Kyra have been there the last couple of summers and we had so much fun," she explains, then asks, "Do you like the beach?" Living in Orlando, I really haven't been to the beach much, we never took a beach vacation. If you want warm, sunny weather, there is plenty of it right here at home, so our family vacations tended to be elsewhere, like the yearly pilgrimage to visit my grandparents which, mercifully, I am no longer required to attend. "Yea Lucy, I like the beach," which is not a lie because if Lucy is at Sea Island, I like Sea Island. She replies, "great, because I already asked my mom and dad if you could come for a visit, like maybe for a whole week." I'll bet that went over well in the Hanratty household, I say to myself. "Really, your parents are ok with someone they just met showing up at their beach house for a week?" "They are, they like you. You're the first guy ever that my dad didn't call a loser or dopey," she explains, "not that there have been a lot of guys," she quickly adds. "So you're coming for a visit after the 4th of July week?" Her voice inflection rising to form the question. "I promise," I say in a solemn tone, "as long as there are no dopey guys coming the week before or the week after I'm there." Without looking, her right hand comes off the wheel whacks me right across the top of my head. "You had that one coming," she says, but she is not mad, she is laughing.

The balance of the ride passes quickly, we don't say much. Lucy is focused on the drive, and, of course, my mind is working overtime. I never thought I'd like this girl so much…never. Three weeks ago I was in Agloe with Margo and she is all I've thought about since that day. Then this girl comes out of nowhere and she is funny and fantastic and beautiful and she wants to be with me, and I like that. It's the attention, that's what is so appealing. I like knowing that of all the pretty girls in the world, there is one that wants to be with me. It is a completely new experience for me. I can feel the conflict brewing within myself however. It's not that I love Margo less, I love her more than ever. I have feelings for Lucy as well and I can't reconcile them with my feelings for Margo. One is far away, I'm not sure exactly where, and she is never coming back. The other one is here, now, sitting right next to me. I don't know how to sort this out, but something has to give sooner or later. I'll be like Scarlett O'Hara and think about it tomorrow, I decide. Every few minutes Lucy takes her right hand off the wheel to grab my arm, or grab my leg, like she is checking to ensure that I am still aboard. After the fourth or fifth time, I say, "I'm still here Lucy, relax." "You're awfully quiet Q, she replies with a wicked grin, "perhaps you are contemplating how bad I'm gonna kick your ass playing GTA when we get back to your house."

Lucy drives down our street, whips the Volvo into the driveway and we go in through the garage past the den to the kitchen. My mom and dad are standing in the kitchen, they seem to be waiting for something. I introduce Lucy. "Dad, this is my friend Lucy, you met my mom earlier," My dad says hello and right away my mom asks, "what did you two do this afternoon?" I'm just about to give the standard " not much" non-answer but Lucy beats me to it, "we went for a ride, I took Quentin to Lake Jessica where I was going to feed him to the gators, but he is so nice that I decided to let him off the hook…for now anyway" she says. For a second my parents don't know what to say, then my dad cracks up laughing and my mom just shakes her head. Lucy follows with, "Come on Q, I'm going to school you in GTA." We start toward my bedroom and my mom says, "Quentin, we're going out for dinner with the Spiegelmans, we'll be back later." "Ok," I reply. As they are leaving I hear my mom say, "I told you she is a live one." We go into my bedroom and get the game going and right away it becomes obvious she is way better than I am. She is kicking my ass in GTA as she said she would. I'm kind of frustrated but she says, "My brothers have this game, they are really good and always make me play with them. I can barely keep up with them, so don't be upset that I'm kicking your ass." "Not upset Lucy, just doomed to finish last. I still like playing though." "And I like kicking your ass," she says laughing. We continue to play and she continues to make fun of me, and I continue to laugh, all of which is ok with me, as long as she stays. I hear the door to the garage open and think to myself, that was the shortest dinner on record. "Q, hey Q…are you here bro?" Footsteps are coming toward my door, it's Ben and Radar, the door flies open as Ben is saying, "What the hell Q, don't you ever look at your phone, we've been texting you all after…oh…hi Lucy, Ben and Radar say in their patented not quite simultaneous manner. Seeing Lucy here must have caught them off guard as neither of them say anything for a moment or two. "He is the worst player ever, isn't he Lucy," Radar says, quickly recovering. Ben chimes in, "Q is so bad at GTA that they are changing the name of the beginner mode to Q mode." Everybody laughs. "He's not so bad," Lucy says, he just needs practice." "Thanks Lucy," I say, "at least someone has my back here." "I'm still kicking his ass though," she adds to the delight of Ben and Radar. "Q, give it up, get out of there, I wanna see what she's got," Radar says as he takes the controller from me. So I get out of the way while Radar and Lucy are stealing exotic cars and running from the cops, Ben pulls me aside and says, "wow…you two…what's the story?" "I'll tell you later." "That will have to wait until Wednesday because I am leaving for orientation tomorrow." We hear Radar say, "whoa that was a smooth move, you are good at this game." "Good…I'm kicking your ass Marcus." Lucy says, giving us the opening to mock him. "She's kicking your ass Marcus." we both say sarcastically. "This is unfair," Radar says, "where did you learn to play?" "My brothers, they are really good." Ben's perfect timing takes over as he says, "Lets go Radar, we're gonna be late." "Late for what," Radar replies. "Late for the thing we have to be on time for, he says," Radar has a blank look on his face for a few seconds until the light comes on, "oh yeah, you're right, we gotta go Q, or we'll be late. "Bye Lucy," Ben says. "I want a rematch," Radar says to which Lucy replies, "anytime Marcus, I enjoyed kicking your ass." All three of us are laughing at Radar as they leave. "Go easy on him Lucy, he is fragile," Ben says. "Get out of my house dickheads, and good luck at orientation Ben." I yell at them as they are leaving.

I close the door and I hear them go out through the garage, Lucy is sitting on the floor still fooling with the video game controller. I sit down on the edge of my bed and say to her,

"so…what do you want to do now?" She doesn't say a word, she stands up, a wicked smile on her face, straddles me and sits on my lap. She puts her arms over my shoulders and I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. This is so hot, I'm already turned on as she ever so slowly tilts her head to the side and ever so slowly kisses me. It is a sensual kiss and it is driving me wild. We continue to kiss and like earlier today we can't seem to get enough of each other. She slides her hands underneath my shirt runs them right up my chest, pulling my shirt over my head. She tosses the shirt away, pushes me down on the bed, and kisses me. I can feel her body pressing against me. We are losing control, she is panting and I'm ready to explode. "Quentin, not yet" she is breathlessly saying, "not yet…I'm not ready" she rolls over and lays on her back next to me, we are both so turned on we can hardly breathe "Oh God Q, I want you so much but I just need some time, this is happening so fast," she says.

"God, you must hate me…I just need some time," she says again. "I don't hate you, I think you are an awesome girl and I want you too." "I want you so much, that I can wait for you Lucy." She rolls over on her side and kisses me, "you're sweet Quentin" she says. "You're worth the wait," I tell her and she kisses me again. "Two weeks ago we didn't even know each other, she is still breathing heavily as she talks, "and now here we are, together in your bed and it's making my head spin." "Well I take a measure of comfort knowing I'm having the desired effect on you." I say smiling. That makes her laugh and she says, "I knew you were a terrific guy the minute I laid eyes on you. I used to see you in school, and everyone knew who you were but nobody really knew you. When I would ask people about you they would either say you were a brainiac who didn't give a damn about anything or they would say something mysterious about you and Margo being tight. That night when you came into Vinny's with Ben and Lacey, I thought it was the perfect chance to talk to you, Angela and Marcus was my excuse. When you walked by, I just blurted it out, "you're Marcus' friend," do you remember?" "I sure do Lucy, I thought you were pretty. Ben and Lacey teased me about you for the rest of the night." I continue, my head is spinning as well, "I was thinking the same thing when we were driving back from the lake. Two weeks ago you were Angela's friend, you gave me your number to help get them back together. Today I'm riding in your car, looking at you as you drive and thinking…I don't want her to go home…I want to be with her all weekend," She slides on top of me and kisses me again. "You have to stop Quentin," she whispers, "I'm counting on you to hit the brakes 'cause I won't be able to stop." She sits up, pulls her Wildcats Track and Field tee shirt over her head, unhooks her bra, tosses it across the room and plants the hottest, most sensual kiss on me that I can possibly imagine. I'm in sensory overload now, she is so hot and so beautiful and this is all new territory for me. She sits up, takes my hands and gently places them on her breasts, I let her guide me, slowly, but with a purpose, she moves my hands. She is really aroused now, she pulls me up, wraps her arms around my head and cradles it in her breasts. I gently kiss them, one, then the other, she is guiding me the whole time. I'm crazy out of my mind turned on, she is completely aroused and I doubt that I can tap the brakes as I promised, but I don't have to. I hear the garage door going up, it's my parents coming home from dinner. Holy shit, what a buzzkill.

Lucy jumps up in a panic and grabs her tee shirt and quickly puts it on. I'm looking for my shirt, Lucy tossed it across the room, it is hanging on my bookcase. I get up and put it on, Lucy starts the video game and we both sit on the floor leaning against the foot board of the bed as if we've been playing GTA all night. I doubt we could really sell it though as we are too disheveled for anyone to believe that we were playing a video game. We don't have to though, my mom never comes to the door. Sometimes even my parents can be cool. Lucy is leaning on me, her head laying against the bed, she is glowing. I have my arm around her, neither of us say anything, no need for talk right now. The moment is shattered by her phone buzzing…."oh God…it's my mom." She answers the phone, Hi mom…I'm at Quentin's…I know it's 11:00 o'clock…yes mom, Quentin's parents know I'm here…no mom, they don't think I'm overstaying my welcome, they are nice people…playing video games with Quentin's friends…no mom you don't have to come for me, I can drive home myself…mom…I'll be perfectly fine…how about if Quentin rides with me, and he can take the car back until tomorrow?" I nod my head in agreement. Ok mom, we'll leave soon…we will, bye." OH…MY…GOD! she treats me like I'm 10 or something. "You must really hate me Q, I must seem like the biggest tease and the biggest baby to you," she says, fixing my eyes with her gaze. I reply, "I only have one thing to say to you Ms. Hanratty; do we still have a date tomorrow? Yes we do Mr. Jacobsen," she answers, "we certainly do."

We come out of my bedroom through the kitchen and past the den where my mom and dad are watching something on TV. "I'm taking Lucy home," I tell them, and Lucy says goodnight as we walk out through the garage. "Wait here a sec Lucy," I say returning to the den where I ask my mom if she would call an Uber and have them pick me up at Lucy's house in about a half hour. She agrees, I give her the address then go back through the garage and we get in Lucy's car and we head for her house. I watch her as she drives, erect in the seat with both hands on the wheel and I'm replaying the incredible day we spent together. She takes her right hand off the wheel and grabs my arm, again like she is checking to see if I'm still here. She smiles and says, "we sure didn't waste the day today, did we Q?" I just look at her and laugh, she starts giggling as well. Today was among the most _unwasted_ days ever, I think to myself. We are at her house now, she pulls into the driveway and says, "come in for a minute, then you can take the car home." "Ok," I say, "but I don't need the car, I got an Uber to take me home." We get out of the car and she says, "this way Q, we'll go in through the back door" I spin her around pulling her towards me and we kiss goodnight, neither of us wants to let go. Finally I say, "come on, lets go inside or we'll be doing it right here on your lawn" "Quentin," she exclaims as she shoves me, you are sooo bad." We walk around the house up a few steps onto a deck and go into the kitchen. Mrs. Hanratty comes into the kitchen and I say, "hello Mrs. Hanratty, nice to see you again." She replies, "hi Quentin," but quickly turns to Lucy and asks her what we did today. Lucy tells her we went to lake Jessica and played video games. "That sounds like a nice day," she says. I can feel Lucy staring at me, I look at her and she is looking down at her shirt, then looking at me, she has that mischievous look on her face. I'm shrugging my shoulders, I don't know what she is trying to tell me. "Do you remember Quentin…from the party last night?" "Hello Mr. Hanratty," I say as we shake hands. "Sure do Lucy, sounds like you two had a good day." Lucy has moved right next to me now and we both say, "yes, it was great, yes, we did" in the Ben and Radar style, one beat off from simultaneously answering her dad. She stands up on her toes and urgently whispers to me, "my bra…it's somewhere in your room!" We both start snickering, I can picture her sexy bra dangling from something in my room. My phone buzzes, it's my Uber, I say goodnight to Lucy's parents and she walks me to the door. "I can't wait for tomorrow Q, text me when you get up." "I will…and I promise not to wear your bra anywhere," I say to her as I head for the car, "Unless I'm feeling pretty." I get the supersized eye roll and she turns around and goes inside.

I'm home in no time it seems, I go in the house and right into my bedroom, I'm gassed, what a day, I think. My sheets smell like Lucy, just a hint of her fresh summer cologne, I close my eyes and imagine she is still here with me. Today was almost as good as my best day. Although my best day was actually at night…the night spent with Margo wreaking havoc on her enemies. Or was today better? I ask myself…so here we go, worrywart / over analyzer Quentin begins to worry and over analyze. If my window raised tonight and Margo rolled through, told me she was here to stay because she realized she loves me and can't live without me, what would I do? That answer is crystal clear, I would choose Margo. I know that is never going to happen however. So, I'm faced with the classic dilemma, the here and now reality, Lucy who I like, or the unknown, uncertain, promised future, Margo who I love. That future promise is only my interpretation of what occurred that beautiful spring day in Agloe, that may not be how Margo sees it. Why do I feel like I'm cheating on her for God's sake, I don't even really know where she is. Monday, Lucy is leaving for half the summer, I seem to have that effect on girls. It is accurate to say that every girl I have kissed has left town shortly thereafter. Life was a hell of a lot easier when I was invisible, then I could just ignore everything. So much for worrying about it tomorrow, I say to myself…I feel a breeze on my face, I'm laying on my back in the tall grass.

Margo is laying on her side, her head is resting on my shoulder, her arm is flung across my chest and her leg is thrown over mine. She is sound asleep, breathing easily, I can feel her breath on my neck. It is so peaceful and I feel so good being with her. Out of nowhere hands grab her and drag her away, she is fighting to get loose, "Quentin…QUENTIN, she cries as she is being dragged away. I can't answer as I realize my hands are bound and duct tape is stretched across my mouth. I cannot see these men who are holding us hostage. Next thing I know I am being dragged into the ramshackle barn at Agloe. Margo is there, tied to her office chair, her face is bruised and swollen, her mouth is bloody, she is crying and two figures are screaming at her, "Tell us where it is bitch, or we'll beat it out of you." "I don't know" she screams…"I don't know." "Bring the kid over here," of them says. Now there is a gun, a big freakin gun, jammed against my forehead. I'm bound and gagged, I can't move, Margo has pure panic in her eyes and I am beyond scared to death. I hear a voice; "If you don't tell us where it is, I'll splatter your precious boyfriend's brains all over this fuckin barn you dumbass fuckin bitch. "NO" Margo screams…"LEAVE HIM ALONE, he wasn't even supposed to be here." "Last chance bitch," the voice says…where THE FUCK IS IT?" "I don't know…leave him alone," she pleads…I don't know." "Ok, have it your way," the voice says and I hear the gun cock…BAM…the concussion from the gun barrel sends me reeling, I can't hear or see anything for a few moments, then I see it…Margo is dead, she is still tied to her chair, the force of the round tipped the chair backwards. The side of her face is blown away, it is gruesome. "Sorry kid, you picked a bad day to visit your dumbass bitch girlfriend." The gun cocks and BAM…I jump up and right out of my bed, I'm panicking, drenched in sweat, completely disoriented. I finally realize that it was another one of those terrifying nightmares that I thought I had put behind me. Each dream is more horrific than the last, I think. Margo dies every time, now we both die. What does this mean, I say to myself but I already know the answer, it is just a dream, a godawful dream.

I sit down on the edge of my bed, thinking no sleep tonight, I'll be up all night, but then I notice the pre dawn light in my window. What time is it? I check my phone and it is 5:10 AM. I've been asleep for hours. I lay down in my bed, I can smell Lucy's cologne and for a second I think, I wonder if she's awake? No, that's stupid, I say to myself if you text her now she'll think you're stalking her or something. I can't sleep, that's for sure so I go into my bathroom and get the shower going, I could use a long, hot shower, maybe that will calm me down, I say to myself. I'm in the shower and I'm thinking about Margo. She seems a million miles away from me. My big idea that I'm going to see Margo this summer seems far fetched, the idea that I may never hear from Margo again is becoming obvious, I realize. It is a depressing thought. Then there is Lucy, how do I feel about her? I like her, but what happens after tonight? She goes to her beach house until August, then three weeks later, I'm off to Durham for school. I may never see her again after tonight as well, I think. I've been in the shower so long that the water is getting cold. I get out, get dried off, throw on some clean boxers and get back in bed. I grab my phone, instinctively check my e-mail, but I'm just going through the motions now, I know I'll never get an email from Margo. The sweet smell of Lucy's cologne is comforting and I drift off to sleep. I'm not sure how long I've been asleep, but I wake up clutching my phone and there is a text.

Today, 10:32 AM

Lucy: Hey

I reply

Q: Hey yourself, naughty girl!

Lucy: I'm a nice girl.

Q: Nice and naughty.

Lucy: Did you sleep well? I did.

Q: Me too.

I lied about that

Lucy: Come over, we can hang at our pool for a while

Q: Only if you wear that bikini from Friday night.

Lucy: I got a new one.

Q: Oh yea, can't wait to see it. What time?

Lucy: 1ish?

Q: Ok, naughty girl.

Lucy: I can only be nice today Q, my parents will be around, I prefer naughty though.

Q: Wear that new bikini, you'll be naughty.

Read: 11:05

I roll out of bed and head for the kitchen, my mom is there and offers to make me breakfast, which is great except I know what this means, a very subtle interrogation is about to begin, so I take the initiative and say to her, "mom, could I take your car for a few hours this afternoon?" "I don't need my car today, where are you going?" She asks. "Lucy's" I answer quickly. "She seems nice, where did you meet her?" she asks. "She's Angela's friend" I'm trying the few words as possible tactic. "I haven't seen much of Radar or Ben this week, what have they been up to?" A diversionary tactic skillfully deployed. "They were both here last night, we were playing GTA," I tell her. "Ben is going to orientation today," I tell her attempting to continue the subject change, but she goes right back to the topic of the interrogation. "She's pretty" still trying to get me to talk about her. "So, I can use your car?" I ask. "Sure Quentin," she answers. I've managed to stave off the questioning for the time being, it will be much easier for me to talk to my parents about Lucy in the past tense tomorrow after she is gone. I finish my breakfast, quickly retreating to the relative safety of my bedroom, where the subtle scent of Lucy's cologne makes me realize that I'm really gonna miss her. She's gone after today. This is the story of my life, I say to myself. I'm an expert as pining for girls who have departed, so I should have no problems coping. I'm going to limit my dating to girls who are leaving for distant places from this point forward. I look at my laptop on my desk, flip it up, my email is open. Nothing there…shocker.

I decide to take another shower, at least I'll be clean when I arrive at Hanratty's. While the hot water is streaming over me I say to myself, don't ruin today worrying about tomorrow, which sounds like a song lyric and if it isn't, it should be. I grab my backpack, throw in a pair of shorts, boxers and a tee shirt, put on a bathing suit and a tee shirt, step into my deck shoes, grab my cheap shades and I'm ready to roll. If this is the last time I ever see this girl, I intend to make the most of it. After all, time is suspended, I have no responsibilities it is another day of "senior summer." I look around my room for my 16th birthday present, my set of keys to my mom's minivan, I locate them a desk drawer and head for the garage. "Mom, I'm taking your car" I yell, because I don't know where either of my parents are but I don't wait for an answer because it is almost one. I back it out of the garage and down the driveway, this time with the doors closed and the motor running, and head for Lucy's house. It is a short drive so I don't have time to overthink anything. However, I do think about the guidance given to me from the two women in my life; 1: Margo, "You're cute when you're confident." 2: Lucy, "Lets not waste the day, Q."

I really get lost in my thoughts when I am driving because I don't remember navigating the streets to Lucy's, but here I am, turning into the Hanratty driveway. I'm about to text her that I'm here but she comes running around the side of her house to intercept me, the 1000 watt smile is switched on. "Hi Lucy," I say walking toward her. She grabs my arm and is pulling me, then she stops gives me a quick kiss, then she pulls me around to the back of the house. "Wow, this is really nice Lucy," I exclaim as we walk up on the deck. I was here last night but it was dark and I wasn't paying attention. "Really nice" doesn't do it justice, tastefully done is a much better description of the deck, pool and cabana in Lucy's back yard. "My mom and dad won't be back until about 2:00 she says, so, I wanted to show you something before they get back." She has me sit on a lounge chair, then she wiggles out of her jeans shorts and slowly pulls her tee shirt over her head revealing the hottest skimpy bikini I've ever seen. She throws the tee shirt at my head and says, "what do you think, Q?" I'm speechless, I can't seem to find any words to describe what I think, so I say exactly what I am thinking; "God Lucy, you're so fuckin hot." I can't believe I just said that…what was I thinking, I am such a dumbass. Lucy's eyes are as wide as I've ever seen them. "QUENTIN JACOBSEN," she seems outraged, "I thought you were a perfect gentleman, I'm shocked," she says, but a naughty little smile spreads across her face. She kneels down on the lounge chair and whispers in my ear, "So that means you like my bikini Q?" she asks, laughing now. "Lucy, I didn't mean to say it like that, it just didn't come out right," I tell her. "I like it when you talk dirty to me." She quips. Then she pushes me back on the lounge chair and kisses me. A car pulls into the driveway, she jumps up, grabs her tee shirt and pulls it on. "Back to nice girl mode," she says and playfully shoves me away.

Now that her parents are home, the afternoon becomes more like I expected. Lucy is sitting on the lounge chair next to me, still wearing her tee shirt and I ask her, "We're still going on a real date tonight?" My tone of voice rises to form the question. "Yes Q," she answers. "Let's go somewhere for dinner." "Your wish is my command Lucy, what kind of food do you like?" I ask. I have no idea how any of this works. In fact, this will be the first time I have dinner in a restaurant with anybody not named Ben and Radar or Ben and Lacey. "Mexican…I like Mexican food," she continues, "what about you Q, is Mexican OK with you?" "Mexican it is," I answer. Friendship with Ben and Radar has a few unique upsides, one of them being Ben Starling, Mexican food connoisseur. When we were younger, Ben's brothers used to take us to their favorite Mexican place, "South of the Border Fresh-Mex." it is a small Mexican restaurant in a strip mall down by the airport. Nothing fancy, several tables and chairs, few people have ever heard of it but the food is terrific. "I know a place Lucy, it's not fancy, but it is really good," I tell her. "Can you drive?" Ok Q, but I'm disappointed. I've always dreamed of being chauffeured about in a used minivan…at the speed limit…coming to a full stop at every stop sign." She's trying to get me to bite but I just say, "don't listen to my friends, they're dicks." She gets up, peels off the tee shirt again, takes about four or five running steps, then right at the edge of the pool she lands on both feet, bounces off the deck like it was a springboard and executes a perfect dive into the pool. Her athleticism makes me think of Margo, but Lucy is a pure athlete, the effortless way she moves, no matter what she is doing is very appealing. She moves with grace, I say to myself…a foreign concept to me. "Water is great Quentin, get in here," she calls to me as she surfaces. It is another blazing hot afternoon, so I just do the running goofball dive into the pool making a big splash. "Smooth Q," she says sarcastically, then she swims over to me and dunks me. "You had that one coming from Friday," she says.

We continue to clown around in the pool, hanging out and talking about nothing, two kids in a pool killing time on a hot afternoon. I'm leaning against the wall where we can both stand, Lucy is right next to me. "Quentin," she says, serious look on her face. My past is littered with instances where the bad news begins with the utterance of my name. An example from nine years ago; _Quentin, close the window._ So I'm a little gun shy whenever someone addresses me like this. "Last night, you could easily have taken advantage of me, but you didn't. You were so understanding of my feelings, it makes me want to be with you even more. She draws close to whisper, "you were thinking of me and what I needed last night, it is the sexiest thing a boy has ever done for me and I'll never forget it." I pull her close and give her a quick kiss on her forehead, trying to figure out something appropriately cool to say when the kitchen door opens and Mrs. Hanratty emerges. "Lucy, I made sweet tea, do you and Quentin want some?" "Okay mom…that sounds nice," Lucy replies in a pleasant voice but she is making a face as she says it. "She just came out here to see what was going on." "Well at least she isn't interrogating you," I say. "My mom was trying to get me talking about you this morning," I continue, "and she won't give up either. I kinda blew her off this morning because I was late. What did she want to know?" Lucy asks. "How I met you, that kind is stuff…she said you were pretty," I explain. Lucy laughs, "I knew there was a reason why I liked her." We get out of the pool, Lucy grabs her tee shirt and slides it over her head, "my dad is not enamored of my swimwear choices," she says as she goes in the kitchen.

On cue, Mr. Hanratty comes walking around the house and up the steps onto the deck. "Quentin, how are you today?" He says it in a manner that makes me think he really wants to know how I am doing. "Good Mr. Hanratty, I really like your pool and cabana, it is very nice back here,"I tell him trying to make conversation. "Thanks, we took some time to think it through before we did the work, and we are pleased with the results, we use it all the time," he tells me. One end of the pool has an elaborate waterfall like fountain, the water is pumped up to the top and it spills out and runs over some fake, manufactured rocks and back into the pool. Adjacent to the waterfall, incorporated into the design is a tile lined hot tub. I now understand why Lucy's parents wouldn't allow her to stay home alone knowing someone like myself would be spending time in that hot tub with their daughter. Which, by the way, is exactly what I would love to do. I am imagining a hot, summer night, no one home at the Hanratty estate, only Lucy and I in the hot tub enjoying each other's company. My mind flashes to the hot tub at Jase's pool and how seeing it made me envious knowing in all likelihood that Margo and Jase spent plenty of time there. I continue thinking about this while Mr. Hanratty is asking me questions. "What are your plans now that you graduated Quentin, are you going to college in the fall?" "Yes sir," I reply. I'm going to Duke." "Is that right? I'm impressed Quentin, I'm sure it is very hard to get into Duke." "I dunno about that Mr. Hanratty…they accepted me," deploying the self deprecating humor, which does make him smile, again proving effective. "And you're majoring in…?" "Pre-med." I finish the sentence. "Outstanding," he says, "I like to see kids like you who know where they are headed in life," he continues. Good thing he can't read my mind, I think, it is so messed up he would run me off the property. "Daaady, leave Quentin alone." It's Lucy, who has returned from the kitchen with sweet tea in a pitcher and several glasses, "you'll scare him away." She is smiling at her father as she says it, Angela is right, Lucy certainly is daddy's little girl. "I'm not chasing you away, am I Quentin?" Mr. Hanratty says to me. "Not at all Lucy, we were talking about Duke," I tell her. Then Mr. Hanratty changes the subject and says, "I know Lucy has already invited you but I want you to know that we would love to have you come to our house at Sea Island for a visit in July." He is talking to me but he is looking at his daughter who flashes the 1000 watt smile as she hugs him. "Thanks daddy" is all she says.

We sit down under the shade of a large umbrella, the kind that you see in a hole in the center of a patio table. Mrs. Hanratty has provided some snacks along with the sweet tea. She takes one look at me and says, "Quentin, you better put on more sunscreen, you are getting burned." More, I think to myself? I didn't use any sunscreen so now my pale, not ripped bod appears to be medium rare. Come here, Q, I'll spray some sunscreen on you, at least you won't get any worse," Lucy says as she pulls me aside so the spray doesn't land on the food. She coats me in sunscreen then gives me some lotion for my face. This will make Radar laugh I think, he is always busting me about my pale complexion. "What are you smiling about?" Lucy asks. I explain to her how Radar has always roasted me for being pale, constantly telling me to get some sun. "He's really gonna let me have it when he sees me fried from sunburn. "It's not bad Q, you're just a little pink," laughing as she says it. "Besides, when you come back from Sea Island, you will be a healthy golden brown," "I'll be tanned and rested," I say. "Tan for sure, rested…doubtful," she replies with a wicked grin on her face. I'm already looking forward to that Sea Island road trip, that's for sure. We spend the balance of the afternoon sitting in the shade, interspersed with a few strategic dips in the pool, designed to ensure that Lucy's dad does not see her bikini. We're both enjoying the day, talking a little but not too much. I just want to be close to her, and she seems like she wants to be close to me. The afternoon seemed to fly by, it is almost 5 PM, time for me to go home and get ready for our actual "date." "I have to get going Lucy, I have a date tonight" launching the wisecrack her way as we get up and walk around the house to the driveway. "Really," she says sarcastically. "You Q…on an actual date? Pray tell…who is the lucky lady?" "I believe you know her, she is smart, fun, and very cute, I begin, "but you know what the best part is?" "She's picking ME up at 7:30." To which she quickly replies, "that's because SHE wants to get to the restaurant before it closes." I grab her around the waist and pull her close, "Touché," I say to her, "but…I'm a little nervous about my date tonight, I really like this girl and I want to make a good impression." "No worries Q, I hear she really likes you too." She stands on her toes and gives me a quick kiss, "see you at 7:30," then she does an about face and heads back to the house.

I get in my mom's van and start for home. Suddenly, a thought pops into my head, I haven't been to this place in a couple of years, what if it isn't there anymore or it sucks or something, I'll look like a dope. So I pull over and grab my phone.

Today, 5:09 PM

Q: Do you remember that Fresh-Mex place your brothers loved so much? Is that place still there?

Damn, he is at orientation, I hope he is paying attention to his phone. His reply is immediate.

Benners: Sure is, Lacey and I went there one night last week, it's as good as ever. Lacey really liked all the fresh salads and veggie items on the menu. Are you feelin Mexican food, Q?

Q: Actually, yes I am. Just wanted to make sure it was still there before we drove down.

Benners: We? And who would "we" be? Could it be that candy coated honeybunny who has the hots for your sorry ass? The same candy coated honeybunny you spent the entire weekend with?

Q: Yes, Lucy and I are going for some mexican food tonight if you must know.

Benners: Who are you and what have you done with the recluse, Quentin Jacobsen?

Q: Haha, she is just a nice girl who is fun to be around, don't make more of it than there is.

Benners: Yea, right. Have fun tonight, the food is still awesome, order her something spicy, maybe she will spice up your night.

Q: You're a dick, Ben.

Read, 5:09 PM

I get back on the road and drive home, pull my mom's van into the garage and head for my room to get ready. First, I have to find something to wear that isn't a tee shirt because I expect Lucy will be dressed nicely. So, about the best I can come up with is an Under Armour vee neck tee shirt, a plaid collared shirt, open, untucked with the sleeves rolled up, a half decent

pair of tan cargo shorts and my deck shoes. Then a quick shower and shave and I'm ready to go. Good thing Lacey isn't here, she would probably rush me to the mall for an emergency makeover. I'm ready to go with almost an hour to spare so, I leave my room and I go into the kitchen where my mom is making something that we will have for dinner later in the week, my dad is sitting in the den reading something. I open the refrigerator door, see the remains of a Sprite six pack, twist one out of the plastic holder and start back for my room. "What did you do this afternoon?" my mom asks before I can get away. "Hung out at their pool." I'm going the minimalist route here, as I believe it to be my best shot at deflecting the questions. "Where her parents home?" "Yeah." "Are they nice people?" This is the part where every kid wants to say, "no mom, they have tattoos and piercings from head to toe and they are members of an outlaw motorcycle gang," but I don't, I stay with the one word routine, "yup." "Where are you going tonight?" "Out," just as I say that my phone buzzes. As I make a break for my room, I say, "Thanks for letting me use your car mom," and hit the door before she can get off another question. She must be early I think, but it's Lacey.

Today, 6:52 PM

Lace: So…dinner date tonight McLovin?

As soon as I see this it makes me laugh out loud. _Superbad_ is one of our all time favorite movies. Ben, Radar and I have watched it like 50 times. Obviously, Ben told Lacey how much we like that movie.

Q: I'm a badass just like Fogle, I hear girls like that.

Lace: True…but you're probably dressed like Fogle now.

Q: Sorta…but I'm better looking than Fogle.

Lace: If you would let me take to shopping for one afternoon, I could upgrade your look dramatically.

Q: Another makeover project?

Lace: Haha, I heard all about the Lacey makeover project.

Q: Not sure I'm ready for a big change.

Lace: You, the poster boy for loners, spent the entire weekend with a girl you just met, what do you call that?

Q: A good weekend?

Lace: She's a pretty girl, have fun tonight.

Q: We will, thanks.

Lace: Alrighty. See you tomorrow.

Read, 6:53 PM

See me tomorrow? Not sure what Lacey meant by that…maybe she is plotting the start of her latest makeover with a new makeoveree…me. Ben is at USF for orientation, so maybe she is bored and wants some company. Maybe she wants her $724.87, which I have for her. I can't help but think that a few weeks ago I assumed Lacey Pemberton didn't even know I existed, now she is a good friend and it seems like I've known her forever. My life is so weird, who could imagine everything that has happened to me. While I'm contemplating all of this my mom taps on my bedroom door, opens it and says, "Lucy is here." As she says it she is waving her hand in front of her face, like it is hot and she is fanning herself. I shrug my shoulders, what the heck is that all about, I wonder as I walk out of my room and into the kitchen. As soon as I see Lucy, I get it, she is smokin. "Hi Lucy, you look great," I say. Great does not do her justice, she is wearing an off white summer dress, highlighting her golden tan, it is short and is clinging to her figure. She is wearing some eye make-up, highlighting her pale green eyes. Her shoulder length black hair contrasts the light color of her dress and she is wearing her very high wedge heels. Her tanned, toned legs seem longer than ever and her 1000 watt smile lights up her face. My mom has followed me into the kitchen and my dad has come in from the den. They are both looking at me in disbelief. "Thanks Q," she is smirking, "let's get going, we don't want to waste the evening," she says as she executes her patented about face and heads for the garage. I follow her out through the garage to the driveway and get in the Volvo. She gets behind the wheel backs out of the driveway and says, "where are we going Q." I tell her how to get there. "Get on I-4, go towards town for a couple of exits, I'll show you where to get off." I can't stop staring at her, she is sitting erect behind the wheel as usual but all I can see are legs. She keeps turning her head, smiling and finally she says, "So Q, can I assume you like my dress? "Lucy, you are so effin hot" I say, which makes her laugh. "That's the plan Q, effin hot" she says. She drives on and we are talking and laughing about nothing in particular. "Next exit, past the turnpike," I say. She steers the car along the off ramp, and onto a main drag, Ivyland Avenue. "See that strip mall on the right Lucy, pull in there. It's at the other end," I tell her. There is a spot open right in front of the place and she expertly wheels the Volvo right between the cars on either side of the open spot. Lucy has been driving me around for the last two days and it dawns on me that she handles her mom's Volvo like she was born driving it. She seems completely connected to the car and handles it just like she moves…with grace.

We walk into the restaurant, this place is exactly as I remember it. There are a few tables along the wall with chairs on one side and booth seats along the wall. We get one of those tables, Lucy takes the chair and I sit in the booth. This place is anything but fancy, the menus are on the table and the waitress appears as soon as we sit down. I order the chicken chimichanga, and Lucy orders the three taco combo…which surprises me a little as I expect her to order some version of lettuce with veggies. "No worries Q, I'll run it off tomorrow, she says smiling, in response to what I was thinking. "I just expected you to order some lettuce dish or something," I tell her. "I want to keep you guessing Q," she says with a smile. Our orders are quickly delivered and it is as good as I remember. While we are eating we are talking about the food…it's great, what her dad thought about her sexy dress…he didn't think anything because he never saw it. "I spent some time planning how I would get out of the house without him seeing it, he would have flipped out," she tells me. "I'm grateful that your plan was successful," I reply. Time to change the subject, I don't care if this is over the top because I have to say it. "Lucy, spending the weekend with you was great, it was fun, and hot and even though we just started hanging out, I'm really gonna miss you while you are at Sea Island." She stops eating and just looks right at me, locking those pale green eyes with mine, for a second I think she is upset by what I said, but then she stands up, walks around the table and slides in the booth right next to me. She whispers in my ear, "Quentin, I WANT you to miss me." And kisses me under my ear, right on that sweet spot. She returns to her seat and flashes the 1000 watt smile. "Also, I'm really gonna miss that dress too," I say, which makes her laugh. We are talking all though dinner, I tell her that I texted Ben to make sure this place was still open and he completely roasted me once he figured out I was bringing you here. Then he texted Lacey to tell her we were going out for dinner. Then she texted me to roast me about it as well. "My friends are teasing me about you too," she says. "I didn't know any of this was going to happen, but I'm glad it did and I'm really going to miss you too. Trust me Q, we are going to have a great time when you come to Sea Island." "I believe you. You're a girl that means what she says…it didn't take me long to learn that Lucy."

We finish our dinner, the check comes and I pay the bill but we linger at the table, neither of us wants to leave. Eventually we do though and Lucy holds my hand as we leave the restaurant.

We get in the car and she says, "Quentin, can we just go back to your house and talk? I promised my mom I would be home by 11:30." "Ok, Lucy, you drive, I'll enjoy your driving skills and your long legs," which gets me a goofy little smile. Lucy starts the car, reaches above her head and flips a lever. "Get the other one Q," she tells me, which I do and the roof is unlatched. She hits a switch somewhere on the console and the roof folds back and down behind the back seats. She lowers the windows, turns off the a/c, then opens the console lid and fishes out a hair tie. She gathers her hair and effortlessly pulls it into a ponytail and slides the hair tie in place. "Ready to roll?" she asks, still smiling as she backs the car out of the parking spot and heads for the street. I give her the two thumbs up and she hits the throttle. We rocket toward the I-4 Northbound on-ramp which is a tight circle. She expertly pilots the car around the curve going at least twice the recommended 25 MPH speed. As we get to the merge area I can feel the gathering power of the Volvo. She quickly checks her outside rear view then flips the throttle again. The Volvo launches onto the highway, all of that stored power released at once. We accelerate past everyone on the highway, rocketing along the left lane. The sound of the motor and the wind rushing over the open car is absolutely exhilarating. I can only imagine the look on my face, who the hell taught her to drive, Dale Earnhardt? I wasn't even scared, I realize. She handles the car effortlessly. Normally, I would have been freaking out, worried about being safe or getting a ticket but that was a pure adrenaline rush. Obviously she could feel me looking at her, she slowly decelerates to a more reasonable speed, steering the car across the highway into the right lane. That was fun, wasn't it? I'm usually a good girl," she says without turning her head, eyes on the road and two hands on the wheel, "you bring out my bad side Q." "Or…as I like to call it, your good side," I quickly reply. The warm night air is rushing over us, it is still hot, but not like the last few nights. I've never been in a convertible before, you are immersed in many of the things that you might notice on a walk, like the smell of fresh cut grass, or the expanse of a starry sky on a cloudless night. We drive by a lake and I can feel the cooler air moving across the water. I listen to the rushing wind and the constant note of the car exhaust trailing behind. Now that we are moving at a more reasonable speed, her right hand comes off the wheel and she grabs my thigh, again seemingly to ensure that I don't fly out of the car. Don't worry Lucy, I say to myself, I'm not going anywhere. I love watching her while she drives. She obviously enjoys driving and she handles the car like a trained professional. We are off the interstate and on the surface streets heading to my house. Every few minutes she looks at me and smiles, neither of us say anything, nothing needs to be said. She drives along our street and whips the Volvo into the driveway, turns off the motor, looks at me and says, "nice hair." I look in the mirror and I see that my hair is all over the place from riding with the roof down. We get out of the car and I tell her, "that was awesome, it was exhilarating, I never had a ride in a convertible before." "Nothing like it," she replies as we go through the garage and into the house.

My mom and dad are home, but they aren't in the den or the kitchen. We head for my bedroom and close the door. "I've got to find a way to upgrade my ride, that was so much fun," I tell her.

She goes in my bathroom and comes out with a brush, "let me straighten out that mop." I sit down on my bed and she stands in front of me attempting to restore order. After a minute or two she sets down the brush, undoes her ponytail and shakes her head swinging her hair around like a model in a shampoo commercial. She puts her arms around my neck, I stand up and pull her close. Her eyes are open, her pale green eyes are locked on mine, I put my hand on the side of her head, she tilts her head back and slightly to one side and we kiss, a long loving kiss. She pulls away, sits down on the bed, takes off her heels and says, "Lay down with me Quentin, I want to be close to you." She's the first girl ever to invite me to get in bed with her so who am I to argue. We lay down together, arms and legs intertwined with our heads on the pillow. "I don't want to go Q…I don't. I want to stay here and be with you and I don't care if it seems like too much too soon, it's how I feel and I have to tell you." I'm not exactly sure how to respond, she is staring at me, like those pale green eyes have the power to see past my eyes and read my mind. I decide to do exactly what she just did and tell her what I'm thinking. "I like you Lucy, I like being with you and I don't think it's too soon for you to tell me you feel the same way. I'll miss you, but I'll be excited to see you in a couple of weeks." I continue. She smiles and kisses me. "Before we met, I was invisible Lucy Hanratty, just another girl that no one ever noticed. I've had a couple of bad experiences with boys," she says, "I'd meet these guys and they seemed nice but they turned out to be jerks, so I just gave up. I used to see you in school all the time, I'll bet you never noticed me though." "Well…I was invisible myself Lucy, I only had two friends for most of my high school years," I explain. "I'd see you all the time," she says again, "Quentin Jacobsen…unapproachable, above the fray, secret boyfriend of Margo Roth Spiegelman. Then, all hell breaks loose at the end of the year, Angela and Marcus was my excuse to talk to you. We spend this incredible weekend together, and now I have to go away with my parents." "I didn't know what kind of guy you would be, but when I was sure you were coming to the pool party I decided to find out," she continues. "And you turned out to be the guy I thought you were, the guy I want to be with. What I'm trying tell you Quentin is that _I'm the girl I want to be when I'm with you."_ she says.

I don't know how to respond to any of this, I just don't know what to say. She is pouring her feelings out, everything pent up inside her is rushing out like water from a dam breech. I know exactly how she feels, having lived a miserable, invisible existence myself, so I decide to keep it simple. "Lucy," I begin, "I like you, I really like being with you. You see yourself as invisible," I continue, "I see a great girl. You are fun to be with, you are funny, you are spontaneous and you are gorgeous. Take it from me Lucy, you can over think this stuff, don't do that, just let it happen." Then, I kiss her like I mean it. She responds instantly, a meaningful, passionate kiss that is her answer; I know you understand how I feel and I know how you feel too. It is a bond forged without a word exchanged.

After we kiss, she is all smiles, like she has been relieved of a burden carried for a long time. "Oh…did I mention the fact that you are smoking hot is big for me as well?" I say with a wise ass grin on my face. She grabs a pillow and whacks me, "boys, you're all the same." She is smiling as she says it. "I'll be lonely while you're living it up at your fancy beach resort," I say trying to make her laugh, "I want you to be so lonely and so bored by the time you come Sea Island, you'll be dying to see me," she replies. "You are coming to see me aren't you?" You can take it to the bank Lucy, Sunday, July 8th, I'll be on your doorstep at Sea Island. I wouldn't miss it for anything," I tell her. She pulls me closer to her and whispers in my ear. "It will be a week you will never forget Q. What are you going to do while I'm away,?" She asks. "Hang out with Ben and Radar, work, I'll do what I usually do," I tell her. "I get my car back tomorrow, that will be the most exciting thing that I'm gonna do," I say to her. "I'm getting up early tomorrow and going for a long run. I have to work off those three tacos, she says. Then we're leaving around noon, I feel so much better now, part of me is actually excited to go," she tells me. "Story of my life, I jokingly reply, "I like a girl…she is excited to leave town." She smiles and pulls me closer, which may not be possible as we are wrapped around each other.

Neither of us know who fell asleep first, but Lucy is the one awakened by her phone buzzing, it's her mom, and it's now 11:45. As I get my bearings I can hear Lucy saying, "I know mom…I'm getting in the car now…because I left my phone in the car…not really mom, I just left it in the car…Quentin's house…" she hits the mute button flashes a naughty look my way and says, "we're in his bed, we're both naked and I'm letting him ravage me." Then she unmutes the phone…"I don't know mom…must be a lousy connection…he's right here mom…ok." Lucy hands me the phone, "she wants to talk to you." I'm waving my hands and shaking my head no, but it is too late, I take the phone and say, "Hi Mrs. Hanratty." She replies, "Quentin I just want you to know that we are happy to hear you are coming to our house in Sea Island for a visit." "Thanks Mrs. Hanratty," I reply, "I'm really looking forward to it." Two can play the phone muting game, so I hit the mute button and say, "Your daughter has promised me that it will be a week I'll never forget." I unmute the phone, Lucy is smacks me on my arm, she is silently outraged, "Oh my God" she is mouthing the words to me. "You're right Mrs. Hanratty, this is a poor connection…yes, right now, we're in the driveway…Thanks Mrs. Hanratty." I hand the phone back to Lucy. "Ok mom…now…I'll be home in twenty minutes…bye mom. "Oh my GOD. I thought you were actually saying that to her for a minute, you are so bad Quentin." She says as she is putting her heels on. "I know, I'm a rebel," I say, smiling as I watch her stand up and pull her sexy dress down over her hips. "We sure are a fun couple, we both fell asleep." she adds. We go through the house out through the garage to the driveway and now she has to leave. I hold her as close as I can, "Lucy, this is the best weekend I've ever had in my entire life, and it is all because of you. It was so much fun just being with you, I can't wait to see you at Sea Island." "I was right," she whispers, "you are a great guy." It is the only thing she says. We kiss goodnight, neither one one us wants to let go but she has to go so I walk her to the car door, she opens it, looks at me and says, "promise me you will come to visit me at Sea Island."

"I promise Lucy."

I stand in my driveway watching her back onto the street and drive away, standing there until she rounds a bend in the street and disappears from view. I can't help but think, where have I seen this before? I can feel Woody Guthrie's faded eyes on me and I look up at Margo's window for the first time in weeks. I can see her climbing through it, pausing for a moment, then waving to me as she rolled into her room for the last time. Goddamn this is depressing. I go back inside, go to my bedroom and lay down in bed. I can smell Lucy's sweet summer cologne all over my sheets and pillows. Five minutes ago we were laying in bed together, she was pouring out her feelings and I felt so close to her. Now she's gone and even though I know where she is going, and I know she will be back, I feel like I'm a million miles away from her already. I have returned to familiar territory now, I'm alone. The impromptu weekend I spent with a hot girl, all the of fun, all of the excitement, all of the passion, I loved it, every minute of it, I loved the attention. It was just an aberration I decide, I'm doomed to return to my default lot in life, pining for unattainable girls far away. This is something for which I am well suited, I realize, I am very good at being miserable and lonely, I certainly have a lot of experience.

Looking at Margo's window from my driveway seems to have triggered all of this self pity. I stopped looking because there is nothing there for me to see anymore. Watching Lucy leave made me look, I can see Margo waving, then rolling through her window for the last time ever, while stupid Quentin stands in the driveway thinking, I can't wait to see Margo tomorrow in school, what will I say to her? I don't hold out much hope that I'll ever see Margo again. I know her, if she wanted to get in touch with me, she would, if she wanted to exchange e-mails we would be doing so. My plan to see her again before school starts is nothing more than wishful thinking. I have to think that she is ok, I truly believe that if she ever needed help she would contact me, that's what I like to think anyway. She is probably living her Margotastic life, Orlando and everyone here is fast disappearing in her rear view mirror. I'm kidding myself if I think that I'm any different. My phone buzzes, Lucy, I think. I fumble around until I find my phone, it's Radar, he is facetiming me. WTF, it's 12:20 AM, Radar would never FaceTime me at any hour, I think as I accept the call. It's Radar and Angela. "Q," he says a little note of concern in his voice, "everything ok?" "Other than every girl I like leaves town?" raising my voice inflection to form the question. "Yeah dude, Lucy just left about a half hour ago, we had a terrific time. We were both a little sad as she was leaving, if that's what you mean, but it's not like she's running away or anything." I tell them. Angela answers, "She just called me, she is in her bedroom crying her eyes out. She told me she feels like she will never see you again. Did something go wrong tonight? You didn't break up with her did you?" "No Ang," I explain, "everything went right…everything went really right, I don't think it could have been a better night…unless I missed something. She made me promise that I would come to Sea Island for a visit, the last thing I said to her was; I promise, Lucy." Angela continues, "she told me that when she left your house, she watched you in her mirror as she drove away until she couldn't see you anymore. By the time she got home, she couldn't shake the feeling that she would never see you again." "Well I certainly hope she is wrong," I tell them. "Do you think I should call her or text her Ang? I ask. "I dunno Q," Angela replies, "wouldn't hurt…but don't let on that I told you any of this stuff, she would be mad if she knew I called you." "Understood Angela, no worries," I tell her. "I think I'll text her to see if she got home ok," I tell them. "Ok Q," Radar says, sorry to bother you." "I'm glad you told me, thanks, see you guys." I say and end the call.

Geez, this sounds like something that I conjure up when I think too much. I decide to text her.

Today, 12:29 AM

Q: Hey…Dale Earnhardt Jr…just checking to make sure you got home ok.

Lucy: Haha…I made it home just fine. I can't sleep, I'm lying in bed crying like a baby.

Q: I have that effect on women, the mere thought of me either reduces them to tears or makes them run far away. Sounds like you're opting for both.

Q: I can smell your cologne on my sheets, I'm pretending you're still here.

Read, 12:29 AM

My phone buzzes, it's Lucy, on FaceTime, I quickly accept the call, "Hi", I say, "I can see your face and smell your cologne so it's like you're here…almost." "You probably think I'm a big baby but I had to see your face again tonight," she tells me. That's a new one for me I realize up until now no girl has ever wanted to see me at all, let alone again. Margo for example, I kill myself trying to find her and she says "what are you doing here?" "Stay with me for a while Lucy, I hate to see tears in those green eyes, besides, I can't sleep either." Her eyes are red and there are make-up streaks on her cheeks. "I know it's stupid," she says, "but I had this weird feeling while I was driving home that I would never see you again, God, You must think I'm a crazy woman." "Lucy, I'm superstitious too," I tell her, "it's just a feeling, that's all, it's like a bad dream, it doesn't mean anything, just a dream." I do however leave out the part about how disturbing my particular run of bad dreams has been. "You have to take me for another ride in that Volvo, that was so cool. Who taught you to drive like that?" I ask, trying to change the subject. "My dad taught me to drive, but I learned how to drive fast from video games." She is smiling now and that makes me feel better as well. "Really…you learned how to drive for real from playing GTA?" "I did, sorta" she replies, "that's why you can't drive Q, you stink at video games." She is laughing now and it does seem like she is here with me. "Text me tomorrow and let me know how your trip is going, I'll be at work." She replies, "I'll be texting you every day Quentin." We keep talking for a while, almost an hour and I can tell that she is tired and starting to fall asleep, her eyes are heavy and she is barely talking now. "Goodnight pretty girl" I say, but she can't hear me, she has drifted off to sleep, her phone laying on her bed. I end the call, I'm tired myself, it's been one hell of a day. I quickly fall asleep.

…I can feel a breeze, the tall grass is swaying with the wind above my head. I'm laying on my back, Margo's head is resting comfortably on my shoulder, her hand is draped across my chest and her leg is thrown over mine. I can feel the even pace of her breathing on my neck…I realize that I'm awake now, not sure what woke me up but I'm glad I did before that nightmare got rolling. I sit up in bed, trying to get my bearings, check my phone, it is 2:35 AM. I'm wide awake now, it's gonna be a long night. I stand up and plop down in my desk chair, staring out the window at the darkness. My laptop is sitting there and I absentmindedly lift the screen as I continue to stare at the darkness. I'm not sure what I'm looking for out there but gradually my computer screen comes into focus. My email is open to the junk box, the list of unread junk emails seems endless, I instinctively scroll to the top and my eye falls on one junk email. There is a band across the bottom of the address box that says "Mail thinks this is junk." Well, mail is fucking stupid if it thinks mRs3324  is junk. I click on the not junk button and move it to my inbox, I've been holding my breath since the moment I spotted it, received at 7:45 PM yesterday, my heart is pounding, I'm afraid the message is going to disappear before I read it. I slowly exhale and catch my breath.

Hello Quentin:

I hope you are well. I have so many things to tell you but I have to begin by saying I had intended to send this email much sooner than tonight. I know that because you haven't heard anything from me that you have been worrying about me, but I am ok. I am living in Brooklyn and I just located a neighborhood library with a couple of public computers. This is the first chance I've gotten to come here, set up an email account and email you. I did leave a personalized message on Omnictionary so you knew I made it here. I'm sure you saw that.

I have a job, actually I have a couple of jobs now and my life is beginning to stabilize a bit. This city can be unforgiving. When I got here, I was clueless. I wandered around Manhattan during the day and slept in my car at night for a while. That is how I got to Brooklyn, you can't park a car for free anywhere in Manhattan. I had some very scary and very lonely nights but I caught a break when I found a parking place on a side street in Brooklyn, and around the corner was a storefront restaurant, Bobby's Breakfast & Lunch. I was really hungry and close to running out of money, but I went in for something cheap to eat. I heard the guy running the place talking about needing a waitress and that is what I am doing. There were more than a few times that I thought I should have left Agloe with you, and a couple of times that I was on the verge of calling you to come to New York and drive me home, (you would have come for me, wouldn't you Q?). I went into the right place at the right time. My boss, Bobby Li, owns this restaurant and a bunch of other properties in the neighborhood. He isn't a good ole boy named after General Lee, he's a middle aged Asian guy who bought properties in Brooklyn before it became really trendy. I work from 5 AM to 2 PM most days. I live in an old building that was originally some kind of factory that he owns as well. It is set up like a barracks, there are twelve people living on each floor and there are five floors, two for women only, two for men only and one is both men and women. I'm in one of the women's floors. I feel like I'm in the army. I have my bunk and a little closet and storage under my bunk, but zero privacy. There is one bathroom with showers per floor but it is tolerably clean. The trade off is safe, cheap living…what the hell, I only sleep there anyway. There is a passcode to get into the building and a second passcode to get on the floor. There is no smoking, no alcohol, no drugs, and no guests. It is mostly kids around my age but I keep to myself for the most part. I eat most of my meals at Bobby's, what a savings for me. Bobby lets me park my car in the alley behind his restaurant in return for me running errands for him. This also gets me a little extra cash. There is a bank across the street where you can open a checking account with only 5 bucks, so I took 5 dollars from my tip money two weeks ago and opened an account. Every day, I put a few dollars of my tip money in the bank. It's gonna take a long time, but I will save enough money to do some traveling.

Now for the good stuff. There are so many incredible sights to see and things to do in this city that I doubt I'll ever run out of new experiences. I get out of work at 2 and take the Subway (it's cheap) to Manhattan. I've spent quite a few afternoons exploring the Museum of Natural History. (No…the exhibits don't come to life at night). I like to spend time in Central Park on nice afternoons. I visited the museum of Modern Art just the other day, and just scratched the surface of that place. I've wandered around Macy's and Saks 5th Avenue, went to Rockefeller Center and one day, just for the heck of it I went to the top of the Empire State Building. The view is much better than the view from the Sun Trust Building. I think about you when I see or do something that I know you would enjoy. The other neat thing that I get to do from time to time is see live bands at a club in Brooklyn. I get in for free because Bobby owns the building, and he always has something for me to do there. It can be fun, but I never let my guard down, a young woman alone in the city has to be careful…Orlando it isn't.

Speaking of Orlando, I really want to hear that you are happy, and how your friends are doing. I hope the summer is fun for you and I hope that you are being confident Q. Although I don't want anyone to know where I am or what I'm doing, I'm still nosy enough to want to know what people are doing there. I'm sure you are getting ready for school and I know that will go well for you.

Of all the things I want to say to you Quentin, the first thing, the most important thing is that I miss you, I miss seeing you, I miss talking to you. There are only two people in Orlando who mean anything to me, one is Ruthie, and you know who the other one is. I'm living a great adventure like I have always imagined but there are times I think that I was just stupid for not going home to be with you. I'll get back here in a couple of days to check for a reply from my favorite, though awkward ninja.

Love, Margo

OMG, I can't believe it…I can't wrap my mind around what I just read. I don't know that I can deal with all of this…all of my feelings for Margo, everything that happened over the last few weeks, the retribution tour, her disappearance, my fear that she took her life, the road trip, Agloe, all of it, just exploded like an emotional A bomb. I have read this email ten times, and I still can't believe what I am reading. I'm deliriously happy, I'm sad, I'm excited to hear from her, I'm happy that she is ok, I'm in love with her, I'm pissed at her. I was doing a fair job

of slowly putting all of my Margo baggage away, or at least out of sight so it wasn't on display, then…kaboom…I don't know what I think about anything again.

I want to answer but I don't know where to start…"let's see," I'm talking aloud now even though there is no one around to hear me. "How about I begin with this: Dear Margo; Would I have come for you? Let's see, in a New fuckin York second would I come for you Margo. In 20 minutes I could be at the frickin airport, getting on one of the flights that leaves for New York every five frickin minutes, would I come for you. I'd be standing in front of that restaurant before your shift ends today, would I come for you, and oh, BTW," now I'm on a full tilt rant, "You're goddamn right you should have come home to be with me Margo…we would be having the most outstanding, fun, awesome, kickass summer in the history of kids on summer break right now, should you have come home with me…God dammit."

It is always good to say aloud exactly what you want to say when no one can hear what you are saying. I found that little rant to be quite therapeutic and now that I got that out of my system, I need to re-read the email for the eleventh time and focus on composing a proper answer.

Margo:

I'm so excited and happy to hear from you, I can't find an eloquent, witty turn of phrase other than to tell you that it means the world to me to hear from you and to know that you are ok. I am happy for you too, because it appears that you have a plan, (shocker) to begin to do the things you want to do…the Margo things. I was excited to read about everything you are experiencing in the city, the museums, the stores, the park. You went to the top of the Empire State Building without me? You owe me one! I imagine you doing all of it though. For me the best part about your email is I can see you again, your smile, your exasperated look when I don't catch on right away. I can imagine your eyes again, exactly what they would look like when you see something wonderful for the first time. I can see your beautiful brown hair, I can hear your laugh and I can smell your shampoo and your almond scented lotion again. You were ever so slowly slipping away from me Margo, one little email and you are again in sharp focus. BTW, nice touch on the Omnictionary comments page…that big, blue M meant more to me than you can imagine.

I find myself doing the same thing you do, I think about you when I do something that reminds me of you or when something happens that I know you would enjoy. I go somewhere and I think, "Margo would love to break into this place." In other words, I think about you every day. Also, you were right to assume that I would worry when I didn't hear from you…yeah Margo I'm still a worrier…you slept in your car in the city for a few nights? I'm glad I didn't know about that until after the fact, I would have taken worrying to panic levels for sure. You already know that you can count on me if you ever need something or need me to help you, but I'll say it anyway: Margo, if you ever need me to help you, do something for you or come for you, just say the word and I will make it so.

You ask if I am happy and the answer is a conditional, complicated yes, mostly because of you. Your admonishment, "Q, you're cute when you're confident" is the best guidance ever given to me and has been my mindset ever since you said it to me. You may not even remember saying it, but I'll never forget it. Even though it was only about 6 or 7 weeks ago, it seems long ago, doesn't it?

The most curious thing happened upon our return from Agloe. The Orlando we returned to is completely different than the one we left three days earlier. It's the same town, but for me…for the four of us, it has changed. Everyone knows me, they know who I am and they talk to me like we have been friends forever. I find this disconcerting and still can't wrap my arms around it, but I made a vow to myself to enjoy the summer as much as I can. I realized that we have a whole summer with no responsibilities, nothing to do but show up for our dumb part time jobs. We are all admitted to college, all we have to do is show up for the first day of school. The balance of time leading up to that day belongs to us to do whatever we want. I'm trying to have a fun summer, and in my own way, I am. I explained my theory to my friends Ben and Radar and they are holding me to my own advice to live it up this summer. In reality, I'm just killing time until school starts in August.

Even more curious is the idea everyone has that since you have been gone, I am now the go to person for the righting of wrongs, the fixer of the broken and even bringing the rain down on enemies if need be. It's like you bequeathed the position to me. You can imagine how our parents reacted to us blowing off graduation to drive to Agloe. I had a lot of work to do there.

Also, I had major relationship repair on my plate with Radar and his girlfriend Angela. She was just a tad upset that he skipped graduation without telling her to go with us to Agloe. I was able to arrange for them to get together again, but it was a week long plot which involved Ben and Lacey, some friends of Angela and me attending a graduation bash at…wait for it…Jase's house. Good thing I knew where he lives! BTW, I was actually invited this time, that entire night was like spending time in bizarro world. After attending that party I understand why you ran away from Orlando vowing never to come back. I was at that party for hours, I felt like Nick Carraway at a Gatsby extravaganza.

Ben and Lacey continue to date, they have fallen in love. It seems so unlikely, but "Bloody Ben"

as you called him, is the first guy ever to figure out Lacey IMO. Also, you would never recognize him if you saw him today, she did a complete makeover on him and he is a willing participant. I dubbed it the Lacey Pemberton Boyfriend Makeover Project. They are like a celebrity couple, the center of attention everywhere they go. Also, I now have a third best friend and her name is Lacey Pemberton. I'm not sure why or how this happened, but it just did. Truth be told, I believe that I am your replacement here as well. I don't want to bore you with all of this but she and I have become close friends. I must confess that I enjoy the attention.

Enough about boring Orlando. Of all things I want to say to you, there are two things, equally important.

I'm the only person in the world who knows you, really knows you. I see you clearly. I completely understand why you have chosen to live your life the way you are, Margo's Great Adventure if you will, and I admire your guts for pulling it off. My hope is that you are able to find more time to explore the city, and do the traveling you have always wanted to do. I know you, I understand your need to _tramp a perpetual journey_ and I'm certain it will be as you imagine it to be.

 _I am unconditionally in love with you._ I miss you so much. It frightens and saddens me to think of the very real possibility that I may never see you again. I am compelled to tell you exactly how I feel, even if that scares you away from continuing to email me. I won't play any mind games with myself anymore and I won't be anything less than completely honest with you about my feelings. I'm not asking you for anything other than I want you to know me, the real me, the me that loves you.

Upon reading this, I hope you are not planning to flee to another city, never to be heard from again. Can we set a time when you can be at the library computer so you and I can actually chat? As you might imagine, I am available to do that 24/7/365. I'll be waiting for a reply from the only hot, curvy ninja I know.

Love you, Q

I've read and reread my response, attempting to gauge how Margo will react. I remove the part where I come clean about my feelings for her, she knows how I feel anyway. Upon reflection, I reinsert the _I'm unconditionally in love with you,_ because 1: I am, and 2: I want her to know exactly how I feel regardless of the consequences. So I click on send and all of my hopes, fears, and tears are digitally enroute to mRs3324 .

I return to absently staring out my window, as if looking through the window is a way to see Margo. I imagine it is a gateway to a black hole that would allow me to step through and arrive at the other end on a Brooklyn street corner. Margo opened that window after nine years, and she left it open. That's got to be a metaphor for something, I think. It could also be that she didn't bother to close it either. Slowly I become aware of the predawn light gathering in the eastern sky. Geez, what time it it, I look at my phone, it is 4:58 AM. I've spent 2 hours agonizing over that email. Also, I realize that I have work at from 9 AM to 6 PM so I try to get a little sleep. I climb back into bed and I can smell Lucy's summer cologne. The conflict between my love for Margo and my growing feelings for Lucy instantly rear up in my mind. How did I get mixed up in all of this, I say to myself. Sometimes I think I was better off when no one talked to me. Despite my best efforts to agonize over this, I am so exhausted that I fall asleep in a minute.

Chapter 7 - McLonely

I can hear a sharp knocking and a voice, what is that, I ask myself. It is my dad pounding on my bedroom door, "Quentin, get up…it's almost 8 o'clock, I'm leaving at 8:30. "Yeah, ok…I'm awake, I'll be ready in a minute." I reply. Speaking of a minute, that's how long I feel like I've slept, my butt is really dragging as I get in the shower and get ready for work. Despite the fatigue, I'm still ready to go in 15 minutes. I stumble into the kitchen, pour a glass of orange juice and grab a package of Pop Tarts. Breakfast on the go, I think as I flop into the seat of my dad's car. As soon as we are moving he says, "Quentin, your mom and I decided to pay the $500.00 deductible on your car repair." "Dad, you don't have to do that," I reply, "I have graduation money to pay for that, I wrecked it, I'll fix it." I completely forgot that my car would be ready today. "hang on to that money Quentin, you're going to need it when you get to school." "I really appreciate you guys doing this for me," I tell him. "Thanks," he says. "How was your date last night?" This is weird, I say to myself, this is my mom's turf. My dad never asks me much of anything other than how I'm doing in school. "Good," I tell him, "we had fun, we went for Mexican food," "Where did you meet her," he continues. Obviously this is a coordinated assault I conclude, so I revert to answers with as few words as possible. "She's Angela's friend," I reply, but he is giving me a "who is Angela look." "Radar's girlfriend." I say raising my voice tone to form the question. "Right…ok. She's a pretty girl," he adds. On cue, my phone buzzes, it's the pretty girl.

Today, 8:45 AM

Lucy: I just finished my run, those tacos have been neutralized.

I wait until I get inside and get a minute to answer.

Q: You sure are dedicated, how was your run?

Lucy: It was invigorating, I ran about 4 1/2 this morning. I slept so well last night, thanks for babysitting me after I got home last night.

Q: 4 1/2 miles?

Lucy: Yup, I do that all the time, it is addicting. It is a good way to start the day.

Q: A good way to start the day for me is sleeping until 11:30.

Lucy: Another good way to start the day lazybones.

Q: I'm gonna miss you Lucy, feel free to FaceTime me late at night when you can't sleep.

Lucy: I don't even have much of my stuff packed, I gotta get on that, I'll text you later after we leave.

Q: Ok pretty girl. Safe travels. Enjoy the beach, but not too much until I get there.

Lucy: Quentin, you and I are going to have the best week of our lives when you get there.

Q: Wow, July 8th can't come fast enough for me.

Lucy: Me either.

Read, 9:08 AM.

I dive into my mindless job this morning, sorting files, those that must be saved and stored and those that are old enough or obsolete and can be destroyed. I'm actually in need of a mind numbing task this morning, aside from only having slept about 2 hours, I have plenty of things to worry about. How is Margo going to react to my email? It could well be the last time I ever hear from her. I'm not pulling any more punches when it comes to my feelings for her, she is going to have to deal with it and decide for herself what she wants. I spent a lifetime wishing she would notice me, or hoping she would talk to me, or wishing I was someone else so she would like me. It was the biggest mistake I ever made, the advice I've given to others applies to myself as well. I realize that long ago I should have made the effort to tell her how I feel regardless of the outcome. Then there is Lucy, I miss her already and she didn't even leave town yet. My feelings for her are a lot stronger than I am willing to admit, even to myself. That trip to Sea Island is a long way off, I already know that I'll drive myself insane for the next couple of weeks. She is a beautiful girl that doesn't realize she is beautiful. Unlike Lacey who knows she is stunning and uses it to her advantage, Lucy thinks she is invisible. What if she meets some rich, hunky surfer dude at the beach? So long Quentin, enjoy your minivan. I decide that "I won't think about that now, I'll think about that tomorrow," a la Gone With The Wind and bury it in the back of my mind.

I just switch off my brain and dive into my sorting job, they are so far behind on these files that I'll never catch up. I take at nap at lunchtime, all the professionals like my dad need 1 hour for lunch apparently, so everybody gets 1 hour for lunch. I put that hour to good use however as I take a nap and feel rejuvenated for the balance of the day. Also, another missive from Lucy arrived while I was napping.

Today, 1:11 PM

Lucy: We're on the road…finally! My mom was yelling at me all morning 'cause I wasn't packed. She said I spend too much time worrying about boys instead of worrying about my family.

Q: Rut roh…does that mean I'm axed from the beach house invitation list?

Lucy: No, they like you Q, especially my Dad, it's just my mom's way of getting on me for not having all of my stuff ready to go. I mean really…how much stuff do you need for the

beach. I was ready to go in an hour.

Q: I miss you already. I should have held you hostage when I had you in my clutches last night.

Lucy: You mean you would keep me in your room for days on end, never letting me out of your sight day or night? Whatever would we do to pass the time?

Q: I have some ideas.

Lucy: I know your ideas Quentin, like how you got me to pin you to your bed while I peeled off my clothes? How DID youth manage that anyway?

Q: Hot girls can't resist me perhaps?

Lucy: It's more like I find guys who stink at video games and can't drive to be irresistible.

Q: Haha. I'm a good driver, just prudent.

Lucy: You're a lousy driver and I haven't even gone anywhere with you when you are driving. That's what I'm gonna do…teach you to drive.

Q: Ok, if you're the teacher, I'm game.

Lucy: We should be there in about 3 hours or so. I'll text you when we get there.

Q: K, I'll be slaving away at my mind numbing job until about 6, then I'm getting my car. That's all I have going now since I've been abandoned.

Lucy: Stop it Quentin, I'm gonna make it up to you big time, I have it all planned.

Q: I like a girl with a plan.

Read, 1:32 PM

The balance of the afternoon goes by quickly, I plow through the stacks of files for hours without thinking about anything, not Margo, not Lucy, not anybody. I've just shut it all out of my mind. I'm really tired and I just want to go home and take a long nap, I'll worry about all of this stuff later. My dad calls me to say he is leaving a few minutes early so we can get to the body shop to pick up my car. He drives me to the shop without saying too much except about school. "Are you excited about doing to school," he asks me. I know how important this is for him so I leave out, 1: I'm apprehensive at best because of my sense that I have to see Margo again before school starts and 2: Lucy, specifically my growing feelings for her, further complicate my apprehension about leaving for school. So I am less than honest with him when I tell him exactly what he wants to hear. "Yeah dad, I really am excited. New chapter in my life and all of that stuff." "I'm glad to hear that Quentin," he says. "You have to focus on what is important in your life, and nothing is more important than your education. You have always been a good student, and I'm sure you will do well at Duke, but you have a lot going on in your life right now and I don't want any of that stuff to become a distraction. You have to hit the ground running when you get to school and focus on the task at hand." He continues, "Friends and girlfriends come and go, it is important to look out for number one in life Quentin. You understand that don't you?" "I do dad." He is right, I know that but I really don't want to hear any of it right now and mercifully we arrive at the Ford dealer to get my car.

We pull in and drive around to one side to a separate building housing the body shop. My five year old POS Ford minivan, as Radar refers to it, is sitting out front. The hole in the door is gone, the entire car has been waxed and buffed, the wheels are completely clean, even the tires are shiny black. In short, it looks as good as a 5 year old POS Ford minivan could ever look. We go inside, my dad pays the bill, and the service guy comes out with us to show us everything they did. I'm not paying attention to what he is saying, it looks good, I'm ready to roll. The guy hands me the key, I thank him and tell him it looks great, get in the car and head home. I can't wait to get home and hit the rack. I was up all night with two women, this is exhausting…but I wouldn't have it any other way. I need about 10 hours of sleep, then I'll deal with Margo, Lucy, or anyone else for that matter. I'm driving down our street, as I round the bend, our house comes into view I see a silver Audi Q5 sitting in our driveway.

Eighteen year old kids usually don't want to talk to anyone's parents. I really don't want to talk to anyone's parents and when I have to, I keep it to a minimum. That's not the case with my mom though. She has a way of disarming my friends, making them completely comfortable so instead of Lacey sitting in her car waiting for me like one would expect, I find her sitting at our kitchen island with a glass of sweet tea, chatting up my mom. Also, I'm not surprised to find her at my house based on that "see you tomorrow" text from yesterday. Obviously she has something on her mind, Ben is at orientation…oh shit…I hope she's not breaking up with Ben, that would be too much to handle right now. "Lacey…mom…What's up Lace?" I say with a WTF look on my face. "I'm bored, Lacey replies, "Ben doesn't get back till Wednesday. He always has something to do, it's always go go go with him and, I dunno..I guess I'm just used to his pace. "Lacey was just telling me how long she and Margo have been friends," my mom chimes in. Okay…great this just what I need…a Margo inquisition. "I hope she is doing ok, have either of you two heard from her?" I can feel Lacey's eyes locked on me, bearing down, waiting for me to answer. "No," I say, she promised to stay in touch but…" I just let the thought hang. "Well I sure hope she is ok, I can't imagine anyone completely on their own without letting anyone know how they are doing." Lacey's stare is boring through me, she is waiting for me to give any indication that I know anything about Margo. I don't flinch though, I hang tough and say, "yeah mom, anybody but Margo." This seems to satisfy both she and Lacey. My mom says, "ok you two, I'll see you later." "Nice to meet you Mrs. Jacobsen," Lacey says. "It was so nice to finally meet you Lacey, Quentin said you are a terrific girl, and he is spot on." Oh geez, did she have to say that in front of me, I think? Lacey looks at me, she is beaming…"terrific?" raising the tone in her voice to form the question. "Well yeah Lace…you are kinda terrific…that's what I think anyway." "Come on," I say trying to change the subject as I get off my stool and head for my room, "I have something for you." As I walk by her, Lacey stands up and gives me an enthusiastic hug, pulls away, still smiling then hugs me again.

We get in my room and I start fishing around the stuff on my desk looking for the $724.89 check to cover all of the stuff we charged to Lacey's gas card. I finally find it, hand it to her and she starts laughing. "What…what's so funny? I promised you that I would pay you back for everything we charged to your gas card." "I know you did Q, but I really didn't want you to give me the money, Margo is my best friend too, or at least she was." Lacey's mood darkens as she utters the last few words. "Yea, well whatever…take the money, it will make me feel a little better anyway," I tell her. "I'm not mad at you for the catfish Quentin, that was Margo, and I'm not mad at her…for that." Lacey's voice trails off as she sits on the side of my bed "I have a lot to say to you Lacey, I'm glad you came over. "I just realized that this is only the second time you and I have ever talked without Ben or someone else around," I tell her. "The reason I feel so bad isn't because of what Margo and I did to your car, although I do feel terrible about it. The reason I feel so bad is because of how wrong I was about you, I didn't know you and I made all of these assumptions, I couldn't have been more wrong and I just feel like such an asshole. So I want to apologize to you for all of it." "Quentin," she replies, "you have to stop beating yourself up over this, you made some mistakes, I've made mistakes, just put it behind you, apology accepted, let's talk about the here and now." "Yeah," I say, "let's do that. I have had two best friends most of my life, but now I have a third best friend. Even though we have only known each other for several weeks, we have a hell of a lot of history, don't we?" "We sure do Q, a lot of good history," Lacey says. "I feel very close to you," I tell her, "you are a terrific girl and I appreciate what you are doing for me." Lacey has a quizzical look on her face as I say that, so I continue, "You know Lace, how you have taken me under your wing this summer, always including me and making sure I'm OK and having fun, I really appreciate that." "Quentin, she pats the bed for me to sit next to her. She's not looking at me though, she is looking at the floor. "I love you, not like I love Ben, but the way you love your best friend." Goddamn this makes me feel good. She continues, "and because you are my best friend we need to have a long talk about something, so I hope you don't have any plans for tonight" Holy shit, I say to myself what the hell is this all about?

"Before I get into all of it though, I want to compliment the fragrance choice you have been wearing in bed," she says with a wiseass look on her face. I start to say something but she cuts me off. "You don't wear perfume Q? I wonder who else may have been in this bed, care to fess up?…and…I want details…but not too many. I swear I will keep them to myself." "Alright…Ok, if you must know I spent a few hours each of the last two nights in bed with Lucy. Last night we were just talking, because she was leaving for the beach and we had some stuff." "Right Q, next you're gonna tell me that she was just being nice…not buying it," she quips. "Saturday night…Saturday night was a bit different." I continue, "If I tell you that on Saturday night, we didn't cross the finish line, but the checkered flag was in plain view, will that suffice?" "Yup, that will do just fine," she says. "Quentin, she's a pretty girl and she seems nice, but keep your wits about you, this is new territory for you, I don't want to see you get hurt. Take it from someone who learned the hard way; you meet someone, you think they are all that and then boom, you get blindsided. Every guy I've ever dated turned out to be a selfish and self centered asshole…until I met Ben." "I am happy for you though, a steamy, hot romance is exactly what you need in my opinion," she is giggling as she says it. "That's what I think too Lace," I reply, "hot and steamy." She better not hurt you," Lacey says, "or I'll have her whacked. The idea of Lacey actually knowing someone who would murder for hire is so off the wall, the thought of it cracks me up. "Don't laugh Q, if she hurts you I'll call my cousin and have her taken out." She is smiling but now I can't help but think perhaps she actually does know someone who could take people out. "Well, I'm glad to know you have my back Lacey, but I don't think it will be necessary," I tell her. On cue, my phone buzzes:

Today, 6:46 PM

Lucy: We finally made it. I took forever to get here, I miss you already.

Q: Glad to hear you made it, miss you too. I'm getting my car now, I'll text you later.

Lucy: K

Read, Today, 6:46 PM

Ok, so technically, I got my car already and I'm in my bedroom with a crazy beautiful girl right now, and even though we are friends and she is my best friend's girlfriend so nothing will ever happen, I decide this it is prudent to tell the girl I'm really starting to like a lot that _I'm getting my car now,_ and leave it at that.

"Quentin, I came here to talk to you about Margo," Lacey says. "But before I talk to you about Margo, I have to talk to you about myself, because what I have to tell you about myself is all connected to what I have to tell you about Margo." Okay I think, you have my attention now Lacey, I can't imagine what she is gonna say. She takes a deep breath as she begins "Do you know what the best day of my life was Q?" She answers her own question, "it was that day in school when I asked you if Margo was mad at me, do you remember?" Do I? I'll never forget that day as long as I live. "Sure do Lace," I answer, "Ben and I walked into school and you came walking toward us and said: Quentin, can I talk to you? or something like that. I was flabbergasted that you knew my name," I tell her. "Well Q, I knew a lot more than your name, but to make a long story short, when Margo didn't come home after the weekend, I came to school looking for you, I didn't know that Ben would be with you when I saw you, I needed a prom date, he wanted to go to prom, and I end up meeting the first guy who actually likes me. He wasn't a self centered asshole who just wanted to get in my pants. I didn't realize it at the time," she continues, "and it took me a while to admit it to myself, but he is the best thing that ever happened to me. We've talked about this, he knows I went to prom with him only because I needed a date, but we just clicked. The road trip to Agloe is where we really got to know each other. None of this would have happened if you weren't trying to find Margo. I never would have heard about all the clues she left in her room, the minimall, paper towns, all of it." "Ben told me pretty much the same thing when you were at Tallahassee last week," I tell her. "I told Ben that I was very happy for both of you. You seem so relaxed and happy Lacey, it's hard for me to think that my buddy, Ben Starling, is solely responsible for your happiness." We both laugh at that, but I'm confused, what does all of this have to do with Margo, I wonder.

"Margo has been my best friend since kindergarten," she continues, "you're the only person she's known longer than me," Lacey says. "I used to tease her about you Q, I'd always say to her, you're really in love with Quentin Jacobsen and she would get mad at me. Quentin? She would laugh…OMG, be serious, Quentin is afraid of his own shadow, she would say that you hung out together when you were little kids only because you were next door neighbors. But it would fluster her and she would always change the subject." "She never paid any attention to me Lacey, I was a non-person to her," I explain. We lived next to each other for our entire lives and she barely spoke to me for nine years. When she did, it was only hi or what's up, something like that." "I know Quentin…I know." Lacey says, then she pauses for a long moment as if she is trying to properly arrange and verbalize her thoughts, then continues. "Did you ever consider that maybe she _deliberately did that to you?"_ "What exactly are you saying Lacey? I was a non-person to her…it was like I didn't exist and it made my miserable life miserable." Just the thought of all those high school days, and how unhappy I was, and how I compensated for my unhappiness by remaining stoic in the face of Margo ignoring me, all of it comes rushing back in an instant. That feeling…it makes me physically ill, and it must have shown on my face because Lacey quickly assumes her under my wing persona. "Oh sweetie…I'm not trying to dredge up bad memories, please don't be upset." With that she leans in and kisses me, which she has done before, a friendly peck on the cheek, but this kiss is different, it is under my ear, right on that sweet spot where Lucy kisses me and it has the effect intended I suppose, because it makes me grin from ear to ear. "What I'm trying to say Quentin is that I have thought about everything that happened since Margo disappeared, along with everything I know about her as my best friend. When you put it all together, there is a lot more to Margo and Quentin than anybody realizes, even Margo and especially you." Perplexed is about as close as I can come to describe my feelings. Also, physically ill is another description of how I feel. I just don't understand where Lacey is going with all of this, and I'm on the verge of telling her I don't want to talk about this crazy shit anymore, but I recall my vow to not jump to conclusions about others. I am however, at a loss for words. I must have a giant question mark on my face because Lacey says to me, "Quentin, I know this all sounds crazy insane, but it isn't. I'm sorry if it rekindles painful memories but I have to get all of this out, and you have to hear it." "I understand Lace," I reply, "I'm really good at feeling bad so let's hear it…all of it."

"Okay," Lacey begins, "All of it, as you call it, begins when we were sophomores and juniors. Margo did a lot of hard partying and hanging out, there were a couple of guys, but she never really seemed interested in any of them. She would be completely out of touch for a day or so, it was always mysterious, she would never say what she was doing. Now I know that she was spending time in old buildings with those guys we saw at the minimall." "Right," I interrupt, "Gus the security guard and his weirdo crew." "Yea Q, those guys were kinda weird," Lacey says. "Anyway, she was exploring old buildings with those guys or she would hole up in the minimall when she wanted to be by herself I guess. Of course I knew nothing about that Margo, I only knew the Margo that was my best friend, the beautiful, stylish girl who ruled the school. She could get guys to do anything for her, and she did it to amuse herself. She never really was interested in any of them like the rest of us were, and that's when I started teasing her about you. I'd say things like, I have a class with your boyfriend Quentin, and she would eyeball me or laugh it off but I could tell it bothered her. For the longest time, I thought it was because you were what she said you were, a timid, quiet brainy kid, afraid of his own shadow." Again I interrupt, "That's what I am Lacey, I'm exactly what she said I am…or was…until the last few weeks…everything changed since we came back from Agloe, everything." "That's right Q," she says excitedly, "everything changed for all of us, especially for you. Did you ever consider that it was because you were released from Margo's non-person status that everything changed for you?" "Huh?" is all I can manage, but Lacey continues. "I'm getting a little ahead of myself Q, I have to backtrack a bit. Margo had a few things that she would always say to chide me. She would say them right to my face in a way that was not mean, even though the saying of the same thing by anyone else but Margo would sound mean and nasty." Because Margo was Margo, I had no retort, except for the one thing that flustered her, teasing her about you. So, that's what I did, I kept it up for two years. I'd see you walking in the hall and I'd say, _here comes your secret boyfriend, Quentin Jacobsen._ I guess people must have heard me say that to her, cause I did all the time, and it kinda became a thing." "A thing?" I say raising my tone of voice to form the question. "You mean a thing you and Margo kidded about privately, or a thing that lots of people heard?" I ask. "Well…yes to both questions Q. At first it was something I said to tease Margo, she would get mad at me and I would laugh at her. Then later it became a thing, like people thought it was true kind of thing. What made the rumor so believable was you…you unwittingly played the part well. You seemed uninterested in what was going on around you, and you obviously didn't give a damn about what people thought of you." This is too much for me to comprehend, it all seems ridiculous and I can't even muster a response to what Lacey is telling me until I remember something from the weekend. "Oh my God Lacey," I blurt out, "Oh my God…that's what Lucy said to me the other day…that I was Margo Roth Speigelman's secret boyfriend." My mind is in gear now, remembering all of the things people said to me. "Holy shit Lace, that's what Jase Worthington was talking about at his party. I thought he was trying to find out where Margo went. He said, "I knew it was you," that I was "the only one who could confront Margo," and that it "bothered her that I didn't care what she was doing." It didn't make any sense to me…now…" I let the thought hang.

I can't speak, my brain to mouth connection is frozen, I'm just staring at Lacey and she is staring back at me. I can't believe what she is telling me and she can't believe she is saying it. Nothing in my 18 years of life has prepared me for this. If this wasn't Lacey Pemberton, Margo's best friend telling me this stuff, I believe I would jump out of my window and run. Instead, I just wait until she starts talking again, which she does, but only after gathering her thoughts and again taking a deep breath. "Did you ever wonder why Margo dated Jase?" "Yeah Lace, he's rich, he's good looking, he's a tremendous athlete, everybody likes him, guys wanna be him, girls want to do him, other than that I just can't imagine why Margo dated him," I reply. She laughs a little at my sarcasm, which makes me laugh and that helps cause this is getting awfully intense. "That's all true Quentin," she continues, "but didn't it seem like she really had little interest in dating him, that she was just going through the motions, like she was doing it because she could?" The truth is that I always wondered why Margo was dating Jase, it often seemed to me like she didn't really care about him one way or the other, but I was a biased observer. Before I can answer Lacey's question, she says, "I'm getting a little ahead of myself again, what I want to tell you is that I became a really good observer. I first turned my attention to Margo, I was around her all the time and she was easy to keep an eye on. She was aware of the secret boyfriend rumor and I think she played it a little bit, you know, Margo Roth Speigelman, woman of mystery. I would catch her eyeballing you in school when she thought no one was looking, especially you. Then, because I was keeping an eye on her when you were in a class with her or you passed her in the hallway, I started watching you and you know what Q?" I answer the question posed, "You noticed that I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, because…I couldn't." "Yup, Mr. I don't give a crap about anybody sure was paying attention to Margo." I reply, "Obsessed with her is the proper description I believe." Lacey continues, "so while Margo is God knows where writing her stupid plan in her stupid little notebook, Becca and her big tits swoops in and starts banging Jase. They think it's a big secret, but lots of people quickly figure it out." Again I interrupt, "Not everybody Lace." "Right Q, you didn't know and I didn't know, but neither did Margo, and that morning when she found out, there was hell to pay. So when you and Margo spent the night with the catfish and all that stuff, and then she just disappeared, no one was surprised." "That would be no one but me Lacey. I was such a sap. She shows up at my window for the first time in 9 years, lays out this big retribution plan and just tells me I need you, come with me, which needless to say, I did. We spend the whole night together, we are talking, and laughing in between all of the retribution plots, and stupid Quentin thinks, finally…finally, Margo and I are connecting. Then she was gone, and you know everything else after that.

"Quentin," Lacey is looking at me now, it is one of those looks you get when something important is on the way. "Margo is in love with you, I think she was in love with you when we were kids, I think she was in love with you when we were in high school and I think she is in love with you now. In her mind, her feelings for you clash with her desire to go on her journey or whatever the hell it is she's doing, so she just pigeonholed you, she treated you like a non-person so she wouldn't have to deal with her feelings for you, and she did it because she could. It was a horrible thing to do, Quentin, she made you miserable for years to suit herself and THAT is why I'm mad at her. "Lace, I dunno…I can't believe that…I don't know what to say…it seems so…" I just stop talking, what can I possibly say? "so Margolike?" Lacey finishes my thought. "There is a side to Margo that isn't very attractive Q and I know you know that because I heard you tell her in Agloe, " _if it doesn't happen to you Margo, then it doesn't happen."_ "Yeah, we left the barn, but you had to know we stayed and listened to that shouting match, it was epic," she says. "No one ever let her have it like you did. She left all of those stupid, obscure clues thinking you would never figure it out let alone find her. She did it just to make herself feel better…I left Quentin clues but he's too timid to come for me or something like that. She forgot how smart you guys are though, that's why she was so pissed when we showed up…the mysterious Margo Roth Speigelman, outsmarted at her own game. Lacey is on a little bit of a roll now. "Did she tell you anything about what she and I talked about on your phone?" I reply, "yeah Lace she said that she apologized to you for being a jerk and that you and she were good. I deliberately stepped away from her so she could speak privately to you, but I could hear her laughing so I figured the two of you talked it out." "We did," Lacey replies, "we go back a long way, she was right, we are good. I asked her point blank, are you gonna tell Quentin that you love him? Because you do and you can deny it to yourself but not to me. He needs to hear you tell him that you love him. She never answered that question though, and I assume that she never told you either." "She didn't," I tell her, "she never said those words. We did get a lot of stuff straight between us though…a lot of stuff."

Lacey and I are sitting on my bed, we are out of things to say, we are just looking at each other. I don't know what she is thinking, but this is too much for me to process. I can't deal with everything that Lacey told me tonight. She has a little tear in her eye so I put my arm around her, all she says is "I miss Margo." The best I can come up with is, "I miss her too Lacey." The two of us sit there for a long time, both of us are immersed in our own thoughts, she is staring at the floor and I'm staring off in the distance. Finally, she recovers and says, "Thanks for hearing me out Q, all of this was weighing me down, I feel so much better having told you about it. You are my new best friend, I love you and I want you to be happy." "I'm glad you did Lacey, I don't know what to do about it though, Margo is gone, she is never coming back, she was crystal clear about that, I begged her to come with me…begged her, but she couldn't do it. She may have loved me then, maybe she loves me now but it's too late." "I'm sorry Q, I ruined you night or maybe your whole week with all of this stuff and telling you has made me so sad," Lacey says. "If you don't mind, I'm going home now, will you be ok?" I haven't been okay for a long time I think, why should tonight be any different. "I'll be fine Lacey, really, no worries," I tell her. "Tomorrow, can we do something fun?" Lacey says as she gets up to go. "I'll pick you up tomorrow after work, we can go somewhere fun and talk about fun stuff and forget about everything sad. Can we do that Q?" "I'd like that Lacey," I tell her, "I'd like to hang with my best friend." She gives me a long hug and I walk her out to her car, stand in the driveway and watch as she drives away, eventually rounding the bend and out of sight. As I walk back to the garage, I turn and look up at Woody and say aloud, "can any of this be true Woody?" Shockingly, Mr. Guthrie has no comment.

I have already made up my mind, I'm not trying to decipher any of this tonight, it's not going to change anything anyway. Besides, I have a pleasant distraction to tend to. I'm back in my room, I lay down in bed and FaceTime Lucy, I can't wait to talk to her, she picks up instantly, "Hi…what happened to you," Lucy says. "I came home with my car and laid down in bed for a few minutes, which apparently turned into a couple of hours. I just woke up." This is a fib, I can't tell her what I was really doing. "I was up late last night entertaining a beautiful woman, perhaps you know her?" She lights up my phone screen with her 1000 watt smile. "Flattery will get you everywhere Q, but I'm certainly not beautiful" she replies. "Yeah you are Lucy, you're gorgeous, you just haven't figured it out yet." I tell her. "So," I continue, "how was the trip, how is Sea Island?" "The trip was awful," she tells me, "I rode with my dad in his Tahoe with all of our stuff, my mom followed us in her car with my brothers. She drives like you Q, we had to keep slowing down until she caught up to us." She is grinning but I ignore the driving jab, Lucy is such a good driver that I have no defense. "Now that we're here, it's great, I love it here," she tells me. "I'm excited to visit, I wish it was tomorrow," I tell her. "So do I Q, you and I are going to have a great week when you get here, I always keep my promises." She tells me. "I did get an unexpected gift from my parents," I tell her, "my mom and dad paid the insurance deductible for my car so I have an extra 500 bucks to spend on you when I get there." "Awesome," she says, "let's do something really cool with that cash, I have couple of ideas," she says, "but the most fun we're gonna have is free," as she flashes her wicked smile. Dear God, please make July 8th come tomorrow, I say to myself. "I miss you Lucy, I wish you were here with me right now, I can still smell your perfume." I wish I was there too, I'm freezing my ass off right now," she says. "I'm outside, the ocean breeze is chilly. I start to say something dumb about keeping her warm, but suddenly she is distracted. "What…I'm out here mom, what do you want?" I can hear her saying. She looks at her phone, it's exasperated Lucy. "I think she does this deliberately Q." "I'm on the phone," she is shouting now, "Quentin…I'm talking to Quentin…okay…alright mom…OKAY," she shouts. I can see the frustration on her face on my 3"x 5" phone screen, now she is talking to me again. "I can't wait to go to college, she is driving me crazy, Q. I have to go inside and unpack my stuff, like that is important and has to be done right now, we're gonna be here for six weeks, I really need to get my clothes in drawers right now." "If it's any consolation, my mom does the same kind of stuff to me," I tell her. "Yeah Q, but your mom is nice, she knows I'm talking to you and she has to come out here to find out what is going on, it's gonna be a long year," she says. "I have to go, let's talk tomorrow." "Ok, Lucy, sounds good. Enjoy the beach." "It will be much better when you're here Q," and with that she ends the call. I put the phone down and fall asleep in a minute, no tall grass in Agloe with Margo tonight. I'm exhausted, I sleep like I'm in a coma.

I don't have to be at work until noon and I don't wake up until 11:00. I slept in my clothes. Disoriented, I roll out of bed and attempt to get myself together. I have my car now so I can arrive at work at the stroke of noon. A shower is what I need to clear my head, I get cleaned up and ready to go in my usual fifteen minutes. Hopefully, Tuesday will come and go without any additional drama. I go into the kitchen and opt for the OJ & PopTart breakfast then I'm off to work. I'm about 1/3 of the way through the sort, keep or shred task, so I have 6 hours of mindless work ahead of me. There are many days when this job is tedious, but there are days, like today when it is exactly what I need. I just plow through the files and turn off the balance of my brain…I don't want to think about anything. Besides, Lacey wants to hang out tonight, she is bored while Ben is in Tampa. I'll have plenty to do later when Lacey shows up, it will be fun to hang out with her.

My attempt to switch off my brain, you know, the over analyzing function featured prominently in my persona, defaults to over analyze. I begin to over analyze how much I have changed. Why do I like hanging out with Lacey, I ask myself? Is it because I like her or is it because I like the attention I receive when I'm hanging out with her? I really do like her as a friend, she is sincere and caring, but isn't it really because of the attention I receive, not only from her, but from everyone else when we go somewhere? I really enjoy that I'm no longer an anonymous nobody, and is that a bad thing? I feel like I'm not being true to myself on one level, like I'm being phony. At the same time, I'm doing some of the things I always wanted to do, but never could because I was invisible. How much of this is connected to all of that stuff Lacey told me last night? It seems unbelievable, except that Lacey obviously believes it. Her reaction was such that she was unburdened by the telling of it, she has no reason to make up a story like that. Also, she is the only one in the unique position of seeing things from Margo's point of view, then later seeing things from our point of view. My intent of spending the afternoon working and not thinking about anything is not going very well as I am about to head down "Drive Yourself Crazy Avenue" when my phone buzzes. There are files spread all over the table where I am sorting and I can't find my phone. I wait for the second buzz and zero in on the approximate location, finding it near the bottom of the shred stack.

Today, 3:17 PM

Lucy: It is a pic of Lucy with no caption. She is on the beach, the white sand contrasts with the blue sky and the pale blue/green ocean behind her. She is wearing her Wildcats Track & Field ball cap with the winged foot, her hair in a ponytail through the back loop of the hat, her Oakley wraparound running shades and an unbelievably hot bikini. She is smiling at the camera, shrugging her shoulders with her hands held out as if she was asking "You like?"

Q: I really like the bikini, I like the bikini model even more!

She responds by texting two heart emojis one sunglasses emoji and one barefoot emoji.

Q: Makes me want to ditch work, hop in my car and drive to Sea Island right now.

Lucy: If I had my way, you would be here now.

Q: Nice thought, July 8th is just around the corner, I'll be leaving very early that morning.

Lucy: Let's talk later, I'll FaceTime you.

Q: Ok, will you still be wearing that hot bikini?

Lucy: Maybe…or maybe something more…

Q: More what?

Lucy: Well Q, you'll just have to wait until later.

Q: If you're wearing it, I'll like it.

Lucy: Yeah Q…yeah…you're gonna like it.

Read, 3:17 Today

That picture is certainly good for my mental health. It is something I don't have to over analyze, under analyze or sideways analyze for that matter. Lucy Hanratty is smokin hot, she really likes me and I really like her. That's the beginning and the end of it, I'm not gonna worry about any of it for the balance of the summer. I'm not gonna worry about Margo, what she thinks of me or what she does or doesn't do. Either she e-mails me again or she doesn't, I don't care anymore. That long tale told to me last night is just beginning to sink in and I realize that I better start looking out for number one…cause everybody else certainly has been doing so. There is a beautiful girl who _wants_ to hang out with me and I want to hang out with her as well. Who knows where it goes, it doesn't matter. From this moment forward I'm focused on Lucy and the rest of it, all of the Margo stuff, the stuff Lacey told me, is gonna be stored baggage. With that I turn my attention back to sort/save/shred and it is 6:00 PM before I know it.

I'm out of the office, in my car and home in no time. My mom asks me if I want dinner and I tell her, "no thanks, Lacey and I are going to Vinny's." Quick shower and clothes change and I'm ready to go. Despite what I said to myself this afternoon, I check for an e-mail from mRs3324  however nothing is there. I'm ready to go but I haven't heard from Lacey and just about the time I think she blew me off, my phone buzzes.

Today 7:19 PM

Lace: OTW, you ready?

Q: Yup, I'll be in the driveway.

Lace: Alrighty

Read 7:19 PM

I wait a few minutes, then go outside and stand in the driveway. Momentarily, the Audi Q5 rounds the bend in our street and pulls into my driveway "Hey Lace, what's up" I say as I hop in the car. Relaxed and happy Lacey is sitting behind the wheel smiling. She is wearing a tight white top with a low scooped neck, a denim miniskirt and white sneakers with white no show socks. Her golden brown hair is perfectly done, she is wearing makeup so subtle that it is unnoticed. God she looks great I think to myself. Also I realize that relaxed, happy Lacey is her default mode. "Hi Q, I didn't eat anything all day, I'm starving, are you hungry?" she asks as she backs the car out of the driveway. "You bet Lace, all I had today was a pop tart and a glass of OJ," I reply. "Vinny's? she asks. "Let's do it" I say and before I know it we're pulling into the parking lot. We know the drill; through the takeout door, say hi to Vinny, he always answers the same way "Mia, how you kids doin." Then we go through the archway into the restaurant section. The place is pretty full but I spot a booth near the front window and as we walk through the restaurant we see people we know. There are a few hi Quentin or hey Q greetings, but all eyes are on Lacey. She could well be the hottest 18 year old girl in the world, she stops to talk to people she knows, says hi to everyone she sees and it takes us several minutes to get to our booth. We sit down and I'm looking at her with a little smirk on my face. "Whaaaat?" she stretches it out. "You're a celebrity Lacey, everywhere you go, people want a piece of you." "Stop it Q," she says, "anyway you're the famous one around here, known far and wide for all of your Margo exploits." She quips. "When Ben comes back tomorrow you two can resume your celebrity status, hottest couple in Orlando," I shoot back. "He knows more people than both of us put together Q. Everywhere we go, he sees someone he knows." "How is everything going in Tampa," I ask. "He said it was boring," she tells me. "I can tell he's ready to get back…and I'm ready for him to come back too, I miss him." "Once he's back, you won't be stuck hanging with me Lacey." "OMG Quentin, don't even say that, I've been looking forward all day to hanging with you."

Lacey sure knows how to make me feel good, I'm thinking as she is talking. While I'm thinking and she is talking the waitress appears. "Hi Quentin," she says cheerfully, it's Ashley, seems like she always gets our table when we come in, still don't know how she knows me but she takes good care of us when we are here. "Do you guys know what you want, or do you need a minute?" I'm about to ask Ashley to come back in a couple of minutes, but Lacey says, "We'll have a small cheese pizza, half pepperoni, I'll have a bottle of Hint water and Q wants a Sprite." She is eyeballing me with a "what do you think about that" look on her face. "Whoa…wait a minute…what are you eating?" I ask her. I must have an incredulous look on my face because she is laughing at me. "I told you I was starving." I know Lace, but what the hell, I've never seen you eat anything but rabbit food." Cue the Lacey eye roll. "Next thing you're gonna tell me the pepperoni slices are for you." "Come on Q" she responds, "I might be falling off the food wagon tonight, but I'm not jumping off the cliff. Don't tell Ben I ordered half of a cheese pizza, he's always trying to tempt me but so far I haven't faltered," she explains. "Okay Lace, I'll keep this between us." I reply, smiling. I'm enjoying the little chink in the Lacey armor, but as I think about it, what I am really enjoying is that she feels comfortable enough to let her guard down while she is with me. It's the attention, I say to myself. I love the attention, especially from Lacey…or Lucy if she was here. I'm beginning to think that I'm just an attention whore. I guess that makes me…"Quentin," Lacey is saying, apparently for the third time. "Where the heck do you go when you zone out like that?" "My own personal hell Lace, I'm doomed." "Geez Q…sometimes," she says like she is questioning my sanity. "Just between us, what the heck is so important that it causes your mind to wander?" "Actually Lace, I began by wondering how you knew to order pepperoni for me, but then I remembered that you have seen me order that in the past. Then," I continue, "I started thinking that I like that you let your guard down enough while you are with me to order a pizza. I know the food thing is big with you. Then I start to think about why I like that you are comfortable enough to let your guard down around me, and the answer is because I like the attention, especially from you." That makes her smile, but I continue, "then…I start thinking about Lucy, I wish she was here because I enjoy the attention from her as well. Then I start to think that maybe I'm just an attention whore…would you like to continue this tour through my twisted psyche?" "God no, Quentin," she replies with a faux worried look on her face. "You gotta stop doing this to yourself, you will go bonkers or something." She starts laughing now. "You are the poster boy for thinking too much, just give it a rest. Trust me Quentin, I was like you for a long time, actually, until I met you guys. That's when I realized the best thing was to just let it happen, whatever _it_ is" "Oh, by the way…you are so cute when you say things like that." "Like what?" I reply. "When so say that you enjoy my attention, you are so cute, because you are sincere and it makes me feel really good to hear that from you. "God," she continues, "no wonder all these hotties are falling all over you…you really know what to say to make a girl feel good." I'm about to ask her who the hell she is talking about when Ashley arrives with the pizza. She puts the pie in the center of the table on a little pizza stand. Gives us two plates, two sets of utensils rolled up in napkins and two straws. She hands us a stack of extra napkins, then says, I'll be right back with your drinks". "Thanks Ash," I say as she leaves. "Thaaanks Ashhhh," it's Lacey mocking me now. "See what I mean Q, all these girls think you're cute." "They do…me? I'm not so sure Lacey," I reply. "Two months ago I could have keeled over in here and everyone would have stepped over my body without noticing." While I'm talking, I take a pepperoni slice off the tray put it on a plate and start eating it. Lacey does the same only she takes her utensils and begins surgery on her slice, the crust comes off and the pizza is dissected in to small pieces for future consideration. Ashley arrives with our drinks and says, "is everything ok Quentin, do you need anything else?" As she says this Lacey is making faces. "No thanks Ashley, we're good," I tell her as she hurries to the next table. "Is everything ok Quentin?" Lacey is making a face as she imitates Ashley. "Come on Lace, she's just a nice kid, trying to be friendly," I say. "Quentin, you just don't get it…every one of these girls wants a boyfriend who would cast everything aside, skip graduation, and travel thousands of miles to retrieve them. It's romantic," she says…and…since you've already done that, they want you to be the boyfriend." "Hell, I want a boyfriend like that, she adds for emphasis. I look right at her and say, "Lacey you already have one like that." "You're right Quentin, I know Ben would do anything for me, it's one of many reasons why I love him." "Me too." I say. "You're in love with Ben too?" she says with a smirk. "Hardly," I reply with a chuckle, realizing how that came out wrong. "Me too meaning if you ever went missing or were thousands of miles away in a jam, I'd drop everything to retrieve you as well." "It's nice to hear you say it Q but I already know that you would," she replies. "Does that cute Lucy know what a great guy you are?" Lacey says as she eats one of her bite size pieces of pizza. "I dunno Lace, as you are well aware, it is such a privilege just to hang with me. She must know how fortunate she is that I have taken a liking to her," I reply sarcastically and that makes Lacey laugh. "You're sooooo humble Quentin," she says. I quickly reply, "Life is hard when you're a chick magnet Lace."

We continue to talk as we eat our pizza and Lacey tells me that her cousin is coming for a visit over the 4th of July. Lacey's uncle and aunt, who live in New Jersey, come to Orlando every year over the July 4th holiday then her mom and dad and her aunt and uncle visit her grandparents in Boca Raton. When they were younger, Lacey and her cousin went with them but now they stay in Orlando while their parents are in Boca. "You'll like my cousin Q, she is a lot of fun. She always wants to do a lot of fun stuff when she comes, and she has it all figured out before she arrives. Last year she and I and my jerk ex-boyfriend Craig went to some country music festival. It was a lot of fun," she explains. "It seems odd that a Jersey girl would be a country music fan," I reply. "She isn't, and neither am I really, but she thought it would be a fun thing to do and it was," Lacey explains. I'm sure she has something planned already, which she will announce upon arrival." Lacey says smiling at the thought. Then suddenly her mood changes, she becomes a bit pensive as she continues to contemplate consuming another pizza nugget. I remain silent, giving her time to verbalize whatever she is remembering. Finally, she just looks down and says in a whisper like tone, "Margo was supposed to go with us, but she blew it off." I had no idea where she was or what she was doing at the time, I'm sure she was at the minimall making her grand plan or something like it. Two days later, she reappears like nothing happened, she was in a good mood and hung out with us for the balance of the week. I was so used to her antics that I didn't give it a second thought." "We're not talking about any of that stuff, right Lace?" raising my voice inflection to form the question. "Right Q, not tonight anyway," she responds. Craig was such an asshole that week too, I wish I would have known you guys last year," she continues, "it would have been even more fun." Well, we were all right there for the knowing, I think. Last year, Ben, Radar and I could have been run over by a giant tractor trailer in the school parking lot at dismissal and Lacey Pemberton, all of her friends, and everyone who now "knows me" would have stepped over our crushed carcasses to get to their cars, I say to myself. That statement kinda burns me a little bit but then I remember what Lacey said about both of us making mistakes, so instead of dredging up old injustices, I just say. "I can't wait to meet your cousin, if she is anything like you, I'm sure I'll like her Lacey." "A mischievous grin appears as Lacey says, "Yeah Q…you're gonna like her…trust me."

By now, I have polished off two pepperoni slices and begin working on the third. Lacey is still slowly eating her self created pizza nuggets from the first slice. While I am contemplating Lacey's unusual dining protocol, here comes Ashley. She sits down in the booth and slides right next to me and says, "Oh my God Quentin, these people are running me ragged today, I gotta sit for a minute." "No worries Ash," I tell her, "relax for a few minutes." I look at Lacey and she is incredulous. If I could read her mind, she would be thinking, _see…see…this is exactly what I am talking about._ "Can't Q, gotta keep moving. Do you guys want anything else?" She asks, her hand is on my arm now. Just the check Ashley," I say. Then I turn to Lacey and say, "I'm buying tonight…it's kinda like a date Lace." "Ok, Q" Ashley says as she writes out the check, tears it off the pad and puts it on the table in front of me. "Thanks for coming in, I'll see you guys later," she says as she is sliding out of the booth and back to work. I look at the check, it is 14 bucks and change, there is a little note: _Thanks Quentin, Ashley_ and there is a little heart shaped smiley face drawn on the check. I have two 20's, so I put one of them on the check and place my Sprite bottle on the money. All of this time I can feel Lacey's eyes on me, I'm preparing for the onslaught and I decide that the best defense is a good offense so I say, "she's a nice kid." "Yeah…to you…I thought she was gonna do you right in the booth." "Hardly," I reply. Lacey grabs the check from underneath the Sprite bottle. "Oh…she wrote you a little love note. Look, a smiley face, she hearts you," she says sarcastically. "Come on Lace," I say as we get up to leave, "she is just being friendly so I give her a good tip," which earns me that patented Lacey eye roll. "You just don't get it Q," she says again but she is smiling as she says it.

We get in her car and she says, do you want to come back to my house and hang out at the pool?" "Sure Lace." I reply as we pull out of Vinny's parking lot. I've been to the front of Lacey's condominium several times to pick her up, the first time I was there it wasn't a social call, but I've never been inside the complex, or her house. It is another warm Orlando summer night so a poolside evening should be enjoyable. "There is just one little hitch Q, my mom and dad are most likely going to be home. I'm not trying to torture you, but they are all over me about meeting my new friends. That's how they refer to you guys," Lacey explains. Oh brother, now I'm feeling a thousand times more guilty about defacing Lacey's car. I'm sure her parents don't think that it was only Margo as Lacey does. I'm getting physically ill at the thought of being confronted by Lacey's parents, what the hell am I gonna say to them, I'm thinking. God this will be humiliating, maybe I should just get Lacey to…"QUENTIN," Lacey is looking at me. While I have been agonizing over this, we have already reached Lacey's house and parked the car. "You gotta stop agonizing over this stuff. My parents are not mad at you for the catfish in the car," Lacey has correctly deduced what I am worrying about, "they know it was Margo." "They love Ben," she continues, "he is very good at chatting them up every time he sees them. My dad hated every other guy I dated, and he was right too. I was the one who didn't realize that I kept meeting the same self centered assholes. I'll make this as painless as possible, I promise," she says. "Okay Lacey," I reply, "I place my twisted psyche in your capable hands," which makes Lacey laugh.

I get out of the car, we walk toward the gate and she keys in a code to open the gate and I remember that I have actually been here before, years ago with my parents. They had friends who lived in a condo here and I begin to wonder if they still do. I can't even remember their names or how my mom and dad knew them. None of this is important anyway, I say to myself. Despite Lacey's reassurances, I am apprehensive about meeting her parents as they obviously know I was with Margo when we squished the catfish under Lacey's back seat. What they don't know, and what makes me feel like a complete asshole is that I gleefully painted the M on Lacey's car roof. I don't think I'll ever feel good about this no matter how much absolution I receive from Lacey. Thank God these people can't read my mind or I would be unceremoniously tossed out of the Pemberton household. We get to Lacey's condo and in we go. "Mom…I'm back," Lacey calls out. Did you and Ben's friend have fun?" a disembodied voice answers. "We did," Lacey says, "his name is is Quentin, and he is here with me." "Oh...so you're finally going to introduce us to your new friends," she says as she walks around a corner toward the foyer where we are standing. Cue the emphatic Lacey eye roll as she says, "moaaaam…you're embarrassing Quentin." Even though Lacey is 18, she goes full tilt indignant middle school princess on her mom, just like Lucy does with her mom. This procedure is no doubt taught in the same class where girls learn the eyeroll protocol. "Joe…Joe…what are you doing? Lacey is here with one of her friends." I look at Lacey she is 100% exasperated. I just shrug my shoulders at Lacey, what can you do but endure anyway.

Joseph and Janet Pemberton, Lacey's parents are both pharmacists. Mr. Pemberton is the Director of Pharmaceutical Services at both Arnold Palmer Hospitals in Orlando. Mrs. Pemberton works part time at home for a prescription by mail service. They are probably 10 years older than my parents, and most of the parents of my friends, except for Ben. He is the fourth of four kids so his mom and dad are probably closer in age to the Pembertons. If I had to guess, I would say that Mr. Pemberton is in his late 50's maybe even 60, and Mrs. Pemberton is in her early 50's. They are a distinguished looking couple and upon seeing them you understand instantly why Lacey is such an attractive girl. Once again I decide to just wade in as I did with Lucy's mom, "Hello Mrs. Pemberton, I'm Quentin Jacobsen, so nice to meet you," I say to her as she comes into the foyer. "Oh…yes, Quentin," she exclaims. "Why we've heard all about YOU," she says emphatically." Here we go, I think to myself, I'm about to get tossed. I look at Lacey and she is making faces at her mom while she is talking to me, and I have to stifle a laugh. Mr. Pemberton appears in the foyer. Before he can say anything, I quickly extend my right hand, "Hello sir," I say, "Quentin Jacobsen." It worked with Lucy's dad, hopefully it works with this guy as well. "Quentin… right, you're Ben's friend," he says as he shakes my hand. "We finally get to meet the mysterious Q that we've heard so much about," he says to his wife. I'm hitting the panic button in 3…2…1, but Lacey rescues me, "geez dad, there's nothing mysterious about Quentin, he's a good guy with a secret agent nickname," she says which makes her mom and dad smile. "So, you're Margo's next door neighbor?" Mrs. Pemberton asks. "I am…or I was," I reply. "We grew up together, I can't remember not knowing Margo." I glance at Lacey as I say this, she has a pained look on her face. I decide it best to leave out the godawful details. "Well…I can't imagine any mother not knowing where her 18 year old daughter is," Mrs. Pemberton continues. Lady, you never met Debbie Speigelman, I say to myself, but I don't have to answer because Lacey rescues me again. "Come on Q," she says as she grabs my arm and starts up the steps, "I gotta get something out of my room." I am now mercifully in tow, in an attempt to change the subject I say, "nice meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Pemberton." "Quentin," Mr. Pemberton says, "when the next road trip is in the works, some advance notice would be appreciated." Ouch…that zinger hit the target. It is delivered with a wry, albeit indecipherable smile that could be interpreted as a joke or it could be interpreted as a threat.

I have been towed all the way up the steps and out of live fire range. We go down a short hallway and into Lacey's room. "Thanks for making that as painless as possible Lace," I say sarcastically. "I'm so sorry Quentin…really…I'm so sorry for subjecting you to that," she says. "I thought they got it all out of their system a couple of weeks ago." She continues. "They don't know you were with Margo when she put the catfish in the car Q. They were a little upset with Margo." "Really...why?" I say sarcastically. Lacey is rooting around her room looking for something. "I hope they never find out, I don't think I want your dad mad at me, that's for sure." Hang on Q, I'll be right back," Lacey says as she goes in her bathroom. I'm looking around her room, and I can't help but think, I'm in Lacey Pemberton's bedroom, what the heck is going on in my life. There are a lot of pictures pinned to a cork board, others are taped to a mirror and a bookcase. Many of the pictures are of Lacey and Margo, they both appear to be happy. Margo really was leading a dual life, I think to myself as I study the pictures. They are helping me remember her smile, her chestnut brown hair, her sexy, melodious voice, the smell of her almond scented skin lotion. Lacey has come out of her bathroom and has been standing next to me, but I'm so lost in these pictures that I don't even realize she is there until she says, "she looks so happy, doesn't she?" "She does," I answer, emerging from my trance. Lacey is wearing a tee shirt and flip flops. She obviously senses my confusion because she says, raising her voice inflection to form the question "swimming Q? We're going swimming, remember?" "Geezus Q, you are way too complicated for me," she continues, "no wonder Margo is in love with you, you're just as effed up as she is." She has a big smile on her face as she says this however, and I quickly reply, "I don't know if Margo loves me but you're right about the effed up part." She laughs at that, and it makes me laugh too. "Here Q, don't drop this," Lacey says as she hands me a rolled up beach towel with something in it. "I hope you followed your mom's advice and wore clean underwear, cause you're going in the pool with me."

There is a cold bottle of wine rolled up in the beach towel. "When we go back downstairs, we're going into the kitchen and out on the deck to get to the pool. I'm gonna get some ice to keep the wine cold, but I'll be bringing something else as cover. When we get down there if my mom is still in the kitchen, I'll tell you where to go, then you just go out across the deck to the pool. I'll be out in a minute." I have my marching orders and I'm ready to execute the plan as presented, then Lacey adds, "if my mom isn't in the kitchen, don't worry about anything." Got it Lace," I reply. I'm accustomed to following instructions from the women in my life whether it is Margo's elaborate retribution plan or Lucy's escape from the party maneuver. Now Lacey is showing off her planning skills as well, I say to myself.

Down the steps we go, through the foyer and along the hallway into the kitchen. Lacey's mom is still there and Lacey says to her, "we're gonna sit out by the pool mom, is there anything to drink in the fridge?" Before her mom can answer, Lacey looks at me and says, "Q, just go out through that sliding door and down the deck steps, the pool is right there, I'll be out in a minute." "Got it Lace." I'm moving toward the door as I answer, quickly escaping with the contraband. The pool area is very nice with a big deck filled with the appropriate amount of lounge chairs, tables and chairs with umbrellas. Although it is a hot night even by Orlando standards, no one else is using the pool. I pick out a table and sit down under the umbrella even though sunset is fast approaching. Lacey appears from her kitchen with an ice bucket, some glasses and a pitcher of sweet tea. Also, she has a contraption that is used to uncork wine bottles. "That didn't take long," I say to Lacey. "They are sort of oblivious, or perhaps they just don't what to know what we're up to, either way, I'm just glad they leave me alone for the most part," she replies. I unroll the beach towel and remove the bottle, it is white wine from Italy called Pinot Grigio. Obviously, this is the Lacey approved alcoholic beverage I saw her nursing at Jase's party a couple of week ago. Lacey hands me the wine bottle opener, "here Q," she says as I take it from her, "I never can get this thing to work right." Great, what the hell do I know about opening wine bottles, I think. I have many fine attributes, familiarity with mechanical devices, no matter how simple they may be is not one of them. Also, even though I have become very close to Lacey, and she is my best friend's girlfriend, I still don't want to dork it up in front of her because; 1: She will roast me endlessly for my inability to operate the corkscrew, 2: She will tell Ben who will tell Radar that I was unable to operate the corkscrew which will provide them with additional "Q can't do anything" ammunition, and 3: She is still Lacey Pemberton, possibly the world's hottest 18 y.o. girl. It appears to be a simple device, but I take a page from Radar's book and clandestinely look up wine corkscrews on Omnictionary.

It is equally dorklike to look it up as it is to not know how to use it. Quite a few appear including several that are similar look like the one I'm holding. I click on one of them and there is a little diagram and some instructions, but I don't have time to read the text, the illustration will have to do. There is a little tab on the foil covering the top of the bottle so I pull that off, exposing the cork. So far, it appears as though I know what I'm doing, as I look at the picture I can see the the device fits over the edge of the bottle and centers the actual screw with the cork in the bottle and the top is used to twist the screw into the cork, all of which I am able to do. Lacey is watching me now so I can't look at my phone anymore but it is obvious that all I have to do is push the handles down to extract the cork from the bottle, which I do and the cork eases right out of the bottle. I take the corkscrew off the top of the bottle and hand the bottle to Lacey attempting to duplicate the smooth beer bottle opening move I stole from Jace. "Nice work, I thought you might have trouble with that," Lacey says, "Ben and Radar claim that you are unsure of which end of a screwdriver turns a screw." "Ben and Radar are dicks," I quickly reply, we both laugh. Lacey pours the chilled wine into two wine glasses, then buries the bottle in the ice bucket, removes the cork from the corkscrew and plugs it into the bottle top. Lacey raises her glass and says, "here's to a fun summer." I clink my glass with hers and take a sip. It's not what I was expecting, it is a little sweet, fruity and tastes pretty good. "Not bad," I tell her. "I was expecting vinegar." "It's my favorite," she explains, "sweet but not too sweet, and not too many calories per serving." With that, she stands up, steps out of her flip flops, pulls the tee shirt over her head revealing a very skimpy bikini. Then she runs to the edge of the pool and jumps in. Once again, I'm in awe of her. The sight of Lacey Pemberton in a bikini is certainly one of the seven wonders of the modern world. "Quentin, bring the ice bucket and our glasses over to the edge of the pool and get your butt in here, the water is great," Lacey calls to me, then adds, "I hope your not wearing embarrassing underwear." By which she means she hopes I am wearing SpongeBob left over from middle school underwear so she can roast me when Ben comes back tomorrow. "Sorry to disappoint you Lace," I'm wearing a clean, perfectly normal pair of boxers, "not embarrassing," I tell her as I remove my sneakers and socks, pull my tee shirt over my head, and unbuckle my shorts. As I am doing this, I can't believe that I actually am doing so without being completely embarrassed. I told Margo in my e-mail to her that her confident Q advice was the best guidance I ever received, and for times like this, confident Q is what I need to be. I grab the ice bucket and the two glasses, walk over to the pool and set them down right on the edge. As I do that, Lacey grabs my arm and yanks me into the pool. She is laughing at me as I surface, "you should always be on guard around me Q, I'm actually quite wicked," she says. "Oh yeah…wicked Lacey Pemberton, you're like the nicest person I know," I say to her. "You were hoping for the embarrassing underwear so you could roast me, weren't you?" "No, Q, not true," she is giggling now, the wine is kicking in. "Yeah ya were Lace, you were hoping when I took off my shorts I was wearing Barney the Dinosaur underwear or something." This makes her giggle even more, "oh God, I can picture you with purple dinosaur underwear Q," she is laughing hysterically now, "admit it…you had Barney underwear when you were a kid, didn't you?" "Its all true Lacey, I had every nerd /geek thing there was when I was I kid." Lacey can't stop laughing at the thought of my extreme nerdyness. "Here I am, baring all of my underwear secrets, and you can't stop laughing at me," I say. "Good thing I'm well adjusted and used to people humiliating me," I continue. All of this is funny though and I'm laughing along with her. "I'll bet there is some embarrassing Disney Princesses underwear left over from when you were 10 still in your dresser drawer," I say. "QUENTIN," she snaps back, "were you going through my underwear drawer?" she says in mock horror. "No…but I wanted to," I say grinning. "OMG, you're such a brat," she says as she gives me a smack on my shoulder.

I take the wine out of the ice, pour her another glass, top mine off and put it back in the ice bucket. "Sorry for zoning out before in your room Lacey, those pictures…I just wasn't ready for them, they stopped me in my tracks." She looks at me, a sad look perhaps, "I know Q, sometimes I find myself staring at them, we were so happy, or at least I thought we were, well…I was anyway." She continues, "then I think, why wasn't that good enough for her…were we that horrible that she had to run away? I can't even imagine how you must feel Quentin, she really has been cold to you, she sure doesn't care much about your feelings that's for sure." "I'm not thinking about that anymore Lacey, she knows exactly how I feel about her, she could have come home to be with me, to be with all of us, but she chose her journey, so I'm not thinking about it anymore. Plus," I remind her, "we're not talking about this tonight." "Right you are Q," Lacey responds, she smiling now, "let's talk about you and I hanging out in the pool drinking our wine," she says. "Good idea," I reply. "You know what I like best about tonight Lace?" I answer my own question, "I like that you trust me enough to let your guard down around me. You're on your second glass of wine, I never saw you drink more than a few sips when you are at a party." This gets Lacey's attention, the wine is kicking in and she is eyeballing me. "Quentin" she says, completely serious, her eyes locked on mine. "There are only two people in Orlando that I trust, Benjamin, and you. Everyone else is a suspect…everyone. I learned to be very choosy about who I can trust the hard way, I've had some painfully bad encounters, horrible experiences, but I learned from them and I am so much better for it." "Geez Lace, I'm really flattered," I reply, her gaze is still fixed on mine," I continue. "It's true though, you're a terrific girl and you can trust me completely cause I am so fond of you, I would never hurt you or cross you." "Q," Lacey's formidable baby blues are bearing down on me as she speaks, you and Ben and I, we have to stick together. It's the only way…we have to have each other's back. There is something that I want to do for you, something I had to live all by myself and it was hard and it was hurtful and I was miserable for a long time. I can spare you a lot of agony Quentin. You are experiencing a lot of things for the first time, like all of these girls crushing on you. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did, so I'm gonna be like your mentor." She pauses to gather her thoughts and pours glass #3 from the wine bottle. "Stick with me Quentin Jacobsen," she says as she raises her glass, "and things will go well for you, I promise…and if anyone hurts you I'll call my cousin and have them whacked," she says giggling now. Her silly laugh after that dramatic statement makes me laugh as well as I'm right behind her in wine consumption. "I appreciate your guidance and promise never to veer from it," I tell her. She starts laughing again and so do I.

Now, we're just two kids in a pool on a hot Orlando summer night, laughing, talking nonsense and…getting hammered. Years ago I drank some wine at a party and spent the entire night hugging the porcelain god, so I am making an effort to limit my intake to below the puke threshold. We've been in the pool for a while, an hour perhaps and as the level of the liquid in the wine bottle continues to lower, the volume of our voices continue to rise. We are oblivious to this phenomenon however and don't realize that it has become an issue until we hear a phone buzzing on the table. I get out of the pool to check my phone and have no messages or calls. "It's yours," I call to Lacey, to which she replies, "bring it over would you please?" Lacey ducks under water and pushes off the wall, surfaces and dives under again for the return swim as I walk to the pool's edge. Her arrival at the wall and my return with the phone are perfectly timed. As soon as I set the phone down, she grabs my arm and yanks me into the pool again. I have 3 glasses of wine in me plus I am completely at ease, an unbalanced victim if you will…"you bastard" I yell as I'm going in. She emits a piercing chick scream and ducks under water as I'm falling right on top of her. She got me again, I can't believe it, I'm thinking. Lacey is laughing hysterically, she is trying to say something but she can't stop laughing. Finally she spits it out, she is yelling, "wicked…I'm wicked Q, you were warned" It's really funny, I'm such an awkward nerd, but I don't really care cause we're having a blast. "Yeah, wicked Lacey Pemberton," I'm screaming at her, "Let's drink to wicked Lacey," and we do, I empty my glass, pour myself another one and top off Lacey's glass. Lacey is looking at her phone now and says, "crap, we're gonna take some heat now." She shows me her phone, there are several texts from her mom telling us to pipe down, we're making too much noise, which…we are.

We get out of the pool, gather all of the wine paraphernalia and sit at the table. "I can't believe you got me twice Lacey," I tell her. "I warned you to watch out for me, I'm not as nice as everyone thinks I am," she says. "You have a touch of naughtiness Lacey, it suits you well," I reply. I empty the remaining contents of the wine bottle into our glasses, and we just sit there, both tipsy, enjoying the moment, a warm summer night by the pool. It's quiet, there is the occasional muffled sound of traffic in the distance, the hum of the pump running the pool filter, however the overwhelming sound is silence. We are sitting next to each other and we both have our feet propped up on the two other chairs at the table. Occasionally we look at each other and smile, but neither of us says anything. I'm reminded again that the passage of time is temporarily suspended, we are free, we are in control and we can do as we please until we all head off to our various college destinations. It's comforting, two friends sitting together, enjoying the moment, neither of us saying anything because nothing needs to be said and neither one of us wants the moment to end…but it does…it always ends.

Lacey's phone buzzes again, snapping us out of our trance. She rolls her eyes and says,"oh my God, she won't let up." She picks up her phone but it's not her mom, it's her boyfriend face timing her. "Heeeeyyy" she squeals, obviously happy to see him, what are you doing?" she asks him. I can't hear what Ben says and then she replies, "I'm at our pool drinking wine with another guy." She flashes me a wicked look as she says that. I can't see what Ben's reaction is but I just stick my face in front of the phone and say, "hi Benners…we're bored so we have turned to alcohol to ease our pain." "Hey bro," Ben says when he sees me, "any of your girlfriends leave town lately?" smirking as he says it. "I pretty much chased all of them away," I say to him. "Not all of them,"Lacey says, "the waitress at Vinny's has the hots for him." "Give him time, Lace, she will be moving to California soon, I predict." We both laugh at that. They begin talking about what Ben has been doing, what time he will be home tomorrow and what they are going to do tomorrow, so I butt out of the conversation. While they are talking, I realize that Lacey can't drive me home, she drank way too much wine. How the hell am I gonna get home, I ask myself. I grab my phone and start to text Radar to see what he is doing, but then I think, what the hell, it's a beautiful night, it will take me about a half hour to walk home, the neighborhoods are all safe around here, and the walk will help me clear my head. So, I grab my clothes, put my shorts on over my still pretty damp boxers, finish getting dressed, then I interrupt the lovebirds and tell Lacey, "I texted Radar and he is gonna pick me up so you don't have to take me home." Then I say "see you tomorrow Ben…thanks for hanging with me tonight Lacey, that was fun." She puts down the phone and gives me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, "this was a fun night Q, just what I needed." She picks up her phone and they are talking again as she walks me to the gate to let me out. She opens the gate gives me a wave and a smile and I begin my trek home.

Fortunately, I don't start work until 12:00 tomorrow, as I'm going to need time to sleep off this wine buzz which is more formidable than I realized when I was in the cozy confines of Lacey's pool. I start thinking about Lucy, I wonder what time she is going to call, she did say she would FaceTime me didn't she, I can't remember. I decide to text her.

Today 10:45 PM

Q: Hey, what are you doing?

Lucy: Chillin, helping my mom get ready for the relatives onslaught.

Q: That sounds awful. I'm walking home now, long story, let's talk later.

Lucy: Everything ok?

Q: Yeah, no worries, except I miss you. I'll tell you all about it, let's talk later.

Lucy: I need my Q fix. I'll FaceTime you later when it quiets down around here.

Read: 10:45 PM

I continue to walk home, my mind wanders to those pictures in Lacey's room, Margo looked happy in the pictures, but I know that she was anything but. I'm in my own little world now, cruising on autopilot. I've lived here my entire life and I'm heading home instinctively, like a lost pet. I envision those pictures, all of them taken at parties, school or other fun events and I realize that I saw something that I've seen before, Margo's beautiful eyes with that dead look. Just like when she told me to close my window when we were kids, or when we were in my mom's van downtown, some of those pictures reveal Margo, a million miles away, dead look in her eyes exactly as I have seen before. She is smiling and appears happy in all of Lacey's pictures, but several reveal what only I have observed. I don't think Margo was ever happy here, I wonder if she will ever be happy. I wonder if she will ever find whatever the hell it is she is searching for. I wonder if her journey that she has chosen to undertake will make her happy. I wonder if she will roll out of her bedroom window tonight and drop into my driveway to tell me she came back because I make her happy. That sure would make me happy. I wonder if she will ever email me again after reading what I wrote to her. I guess I'll find out soon enough. Lacey is right, I'm unsure who is more fucked up in the head, me or Mar…slowly I become aware of a sound…it is a familiar sound…what the hell is it? I turn my head to see car headlights bearing down on me. The familiar sound…skidding tires.

I'm looking at the car lights approach me while I stand motionless, like a guy in a tire commercial standing on a mark to prove the stopping prowess of their tires. The car screeches to a halt a few feet from my frozen in place self, which I realize is in the middle of a street. Someone is yelling from the drivers side, "Geezus buddy, what the hell…Quentin…Q, is that you? Holy shit…are you ok? What the fuck…I almost clobbered you." The voice is vaguely familiar, I move away from the headlights to connect the voice with the face…Jase, it's Jase Worthington, dammit this is the last guy I want to hit me with a car I think. Then I realize how stupid that thought is, I don't want anyone to hit me with their car, or anything else for that matter. "Oh my God Jase, I'm so sorry, I was texting someone and I must have walked right out in front of you…I'm so sorry, I feel like such an asshole." Jase is laughing now, "well, you were almost a dead asshole, what the hell are you doing here anyway?" He says. "I'm walking home," I tell him. "Get in the fuckin car Q before someone else flattens you, I'll run you home, Jase says shaking his head and laughing as he says it. I can see someone is in the front passenger seat, so I get in the back seat and close the door. "Hi Quentin," says a cheery voice from the passenger seat, I haven't seen you for a couple of weeks, how is your summer going?" It's Becca…Becca frickin Arrington, poster child for mean girls, I can't believe it. I'm fortunate that she didn't make Jase back up and run me down when she realized it was me. Upon entering Jase's Lexus I have entered bizarro world once again, because the queen of mean, Becca Arrington is treating me like her long lost friend. "Good," I reply, "I'm having a fun summer Becca." "Why the hell are you walking home Q," Jase asks. I try to choose my words carefully, but still be clever, so I reply, "Let's just say that I've been having too much fun to operate a motor vehicle tonight." They both chuckle at my answer. "Couldn't you get a ride with someone else?" Becca asks, pretending to have some interest in my well being. Everyone else was having too much fun as well," I tell her. "Nice car Jase," I say it just to change the subject so she doesn't ask me where, or with whom I was. "Thanks man," he says. My Jase envy momentarily returns, amplified by Pinot Grigio. The thought of Jase and Margo cruising in this sweet ride begins to gnaw at me, he had what I always wanted. But Becca quickly changes the subject again. "Quentin," she says like she is my best friend that hasn't seen me in weeks. "I hear you are dating some hot senior," Jase interrupts her, "Oh really Q…who is she, anybody we know?" These are the last two people with which I want to discuss any topic, but I feel compelled to answer as 1, They are giving my drunk ass a ride home and 2, They didn't knock me into next week. "Lucy Hanratty," I answer. "Jacks daughter?" Jase exclaims, "You're right," he says to Becca, "she is a hottie." Becca gives him a dirty look, "how would you know?" she snaps at Jase. "I know the whole family really well, they are nice people, we do a lot of work with Jack," he explains. HVAC, I say to myself. I'm sure Lucy's dad does plenty of work for the Worthingtons. "She's not here now, she is at their beach house. I was texting her when I wandered into the street" I tell him. "Right," Jase says, "I hear they have an awesome beach house, Jack is always talking about it. Now I understand why you wandered into the street Q, she would distract anyone," he says.

The whole episode, me walking in front of the car and them giving me a ride home takes maybe 7 or 8 minutes tops, but to me it feels like 7 or 8 hours. We are driving on my street now and Becca says to me, "don't forget about the big going away bash Q." "Yea, Q, last hurrah, this Friday," Jase explains, "I'm outta here next Wednesday, make sure you come, and your whole squad is invited too, everybody is gonna be there." Jase wheels the car into my driveway, as I move to get out of the car, I wonder if Becca is irritated at the sight of Margo's house, if she is, she's keeping it under wraps. I get out of the car and go to the drivers window and say to Jase as I shake his hand, "I really appreciate you guys going out of your way to bring me home, also," I continue, "I really appreciate that you didn't crush me with your car." Which makes Jase laugh. "Friday dude, don't forget," he says. "I won't, and thanks again." As I'm walking away from the car, the passenger door opens and Becca gets out and says to me, "Quentin, make sure you come on Friday, I want to talk to you about something." My first thought is that I don't trust this bitch as far as I could throw her, my second thought is that Lacey is right, she does have big tits. "Ok Becca, see you then, and thanks for the ride." is

all I say.

They back out of the driveway and I watch as the Lexus quietly sails down our street and around the bend like a luxury yacht silently moving on the water. I am still in the exact spot where I stopped when Becca got out of the car and I say aloud to no one, "that sure sobered me up." Then I turn and look at Woody who is continuing to fade in the Orlando summer sun. Woody has become my version of Fitzgerald's ever watchful occultist Dr. T. J. Eckleberg, witness to the madness that is my life. "So Woody…Margo isn't coming out tonight?" I ask him. "She was supposed to be here tonight to tell me she can't live without me, I guess she is a no show…story of my life." Shockingly, Mr. Guthrie has no answers. Maybe I'm not as sober as I thought, I realize as I turn and head for the garage. Also, my head is beginning to pound, a monster headache seems to be brewing courtesy of Lacey's Pinot Grigio. I go into the kitchen get a large glass of water and chug it, fill the glass with ice, then water and head for my bedroom. I go into my bathroom and rummage through the medicine chest until I find some aspirin. I take four of them in a bid to launch a preemptive strike at a wicked hangover, washing them down with my ice water. I get out of my soggy clothes and get in the rack with my phone waiting for Lucy to FaceTime me. The room isn't spinning, but it isn't not spinning either. On the upside, it appears as though I am well below the puke threshold. I'm just starting to doze off and my phone buzzes, there she is, I say to myself, but when I look at the phone it's Lacey

Today 11:19 PM

Lace: I'm so rude, I want to apologize for pushing you out the door while I was talking to Ben. I feel really bad about that.

Q: Huh? What are you talking about, if you call giving me a hug and a kiss rude, then by all means, please be rude to me regularly!

Lace: No, really…I was so wrapped up in talking to Ben that I didn't even wait to make sure Radar came for you. I hope you got home ok.

Q: Do I have a story to tell you. Radar didn't come for me, I just told you that so you wouldn't try to drive me home. I walked home, or part way home anyway.

Lace: Are you crazy? Why would you walk home, it must have taken you a half hour or longer.

Q: I only walked part way home, I got a ride the rest of the way from someone…right after they almost hit me with their car.

Lace: WHAT…ARE YOU OK?

Q: Yeah, I'm fine, it's a long and extremely weird story which you will find most interesting. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

Lace: Now I feel really bad…I kicked you out and you were almost killed.

Q: No, I wasn't almost killed. You're not gonna believe what happened. Btw is your room spinning? Mine is.

Lace: I'm pretty drunk too, good thing I ate all of that pizza. Do you have to work tomorrow?

Q: Yeah, but not until noon thank God. I'll be ok by then.

Lace: I really had fun tonight, thanks for hanging out with me.

Q: So did I. We should do it more often.

Lace: We will, and next time, I'll make sure I get you home.

Q: We have to talk tomorrow, you're not gonna believe what happened.

Lace: Alrighty.

Read 11:20 PM

Where is that annoying buzzing sound coming from? I'm dazed and confused from my bout with Pinot Grigio and this buzzing sound starts, then stops, then starts again a few seconds later. Finally, I regain a measure of consciousness…crap, it's Lucy, on FaceTime. I scramble for my phone and accept the call, "Hey there beach girl, I must have dozed off." I notice that it is now 12:05. I see her pale green eyes and her 1000 watt smile filling my phone screen and again I wish that tomorrow was July 8th. "Dozed off…more like you were in a coma Q," she is laughing at me, I'm sure I look like a refugee. "This is like the fifth time I've tried to FaceTime you, I was starting to think that you didn't want to talk to me," she says with a smirk. "OMG Lucy, you're the only person I want to talk to, I'm lonely since you left…so….how's the beach, are you having fun? Yeah Q the beach is fun, except for my mom, she is driving me nuts," Lucy continues, "she still thinks I'm 12. Like earlier tonight when I was helping her do stuff to get ready for the weekend, she and I got along great, then she started on me, she is so annoying."

"That's what moms are for Lucy, btw is July 8th tomorrow," I ask? "cause I really miss you." "Ummm…yeah…I think it is Q," she is smiling. "What time do you think you'll be here?" I'm leaving right now." I tell her, "Leave a door open, I'll sneak into your house and crawl in bed with you. I'll be so stealthy that you won't know I'm there until you wake up in the morning."

"Don't doubt that Q, word has it that you're really good at breaking and entering," she says with a knowing grin on her face. More Margo stuff I think, every once in a while Lucy subtly lets me know that she knows all about Margo. She never throws it in my face, just a comment at the appropriate time. Perhaps she is wary of Margo coming home and me losing interest in her, _neither of which, is ever going to happen_. "I was just an accomplice breaker and enterer," I tell her, which makes her laugh, "but I am highly motivated to make it to your room undetected." "And I'm highly motivated to meet you at the door and sneak you in," she quickly replies.

So…you were walking home from somewhere, did your car die again?" She asks. "No…but I almost did," I reply. "What," she has a worried look on her face, "what happened Q?" I begin at the beginning…sorta. I tell her that Lacey was sad, but I don't tell her it was because she unloaded her improbable Margo theory on me. I explain that she was sad and bored because Ben is in Tampa for orientation so she picked me up after work and we went to Vinny's for pizza. "I see…I'm only gone two days and already you're on a dinner date with another girl," she says in mock anger." "Pizza with Lacey at Vinny's is hardly a dinner date," I reply, she laughs at that one. "True Quentin," she replies, but she is a very pretty girl," to which I quickly add, "who is my best friend's girlfriend." "I'm jealous anyway," she is smirking as she says, "I much prefer you to be bored and lonely, stuck in your room playing video games with Ben and Radar." Lucy doesn't know that she has inadvertently described my entire high school social life until May, but I don't say that, I just tell her, "I have some experience being a lonely video game player," which makes her laugh. "Did you say lonely or lousy video game player?" She is needling me now. "Lonely cause you abandoned me and lousy because…"Lucy finishes the sentence, "you stink at video games?" Once again, Lucy gets the last laugh. I continue, "Then we went to her pool to hang out, and we clandestinely appropriated a bottle of her parents wine which we quickly dispatched. Lacey had too much to drink to drive me home, so I decided to walk home. I thought the walk would clear my head a little bit, and while I was texting the hottest girl on the planet, I kinda wandered into the street and almost got hit by a car." "OH MY GOD," she isn't laughing now, she looks genuinely worried, you walked out in front of a car while you were texting? Geezus Q, what the hell, you can't just zone out like that when you are walking through town, you're lucky you weren't hurt." "I'm Ok Lucy, the car stopped a couple of feet from where I was standing, it wasn't a big deal," I tell her. "Not a big deal?" she is incredulous. "Q…almost getting hit by a car is a big deal…and who is this hot girl you where texting anyway," the little smirk returns. "Just a girl I know," I reply, "she is at her beach house and I was thinking about her while I was walking home, I guess I was a little distracted."

Suddenly, she says, "hang on a minute Q." She puts her phone down for a few seconds then picks it up again, she is wearing that wicked grin as she says, "I've been doing a little shopping with you in mind, you're not playing in traffic or anything are you?" "Haha," I reply. With that, she turns the phone around and I can see her in a mirror, she is wearing incredibly sexy underwear, and she looks awesome. She turns to one side so I get the full measure and says "you like?" I'm momentarily speechless, she is teasing the shit out of me and I quickly blurt out, "I can't wait to see you in that up close and personal, you are the sexist naughty girl ever," she is blushing and giggling as she says, "that's just a sneak preview Quentin, the full length feature begins July 8th." I can't believe this is happening to me, I say to myself, this girl really likes me and I'm afraid something will go wrong in the next 10 days and I'll miss out on the promised full length feature. She puts the phone down again and when she returns she is laying in bed, her wicked little grin filling my phone screen. "Wow, you look incredibly hot Lucy. Your plan to make me miss you is working perfectly…even though I would miss you anyway. "I thought you might like that Q, just a little over the phone present from me to you." She is cooing into the phone now which is so sexy, it is literally making me crazy to see her, and I tell her exactly that. "Damn Lucy, why can't you be 20 minutes away so I can run over and pick you up? You are making me crazy to see you," I tell her. "Obviously my plan is working," she replies with a little giggle. "I hope to have another present or two for you to tide you over until next Sunday." "I'm not gonna make it till next Sunday," I reply. "Yes you will…and Quentin…get some rest, you're gonna need it," she says laughing. "I promise I'll be at full strength when I arrive," I tell her. "What are you gonna do tomorrow?" she asks. "Nothing Lucy, not a thing. I don't have to be at work until 12:00 thank God, then I'm gonna come home and chill in my bedroom and do nothing. I'm definitely not drinking any wine tomorrow night," I say as she is laughing at me. "What are you doing tomorrow?" I return the question. Another day at the beach…somebody has to do the dirty work," she says. "Yeah, life is tough Lucy, not sure how you can stand it," I quickly reply. "Q, I'm gonna snap you my whole day tomorrow, it will be like you're here…almost," she exclaims. "Ok, Lucy, can't wait for a day in the beach life of Lucy Hanratty. I'm sleeping till 11:00 tomorrow, I hope I don't have a hangover." "Goodnight Quentin, I really miss you." She says that like she means it. Talk to you tomorrow beach girl…and thanks for the present…it makes me miss you more if that's possible." With that I end the call.

Within minutes I am asleep, it is closer to unconsciousness than sleep, no crazy dreams tonight. I wake up around 4:30 AM, I'm parched, my head is pounding and I have to pee. I go into my bathroom and do so, then root through my medicine cabinet until I find more aspirin and wash them down with the ice water that is now just water. I take a look at my emails, nothing of course and crawl back into bed. Next thing I realize I'm awake and it is 11:15. That second dose of aspirin did the trick, I don't feel great, but I'm not baked either. Life is simple sometimes. I get out of bed, do the 15 minutes shower, shave, brush my teeth and get dressed. It dawns on me as I'm getting dressed that I'm not going to have an endless supply of clean clothes once I get to school as I do now courtesy of my mom. I'm glad I do now however, as I'm in a hurry to get to work. The pop tart and OJ breakfast works for me and I am on the way to work by 11:45. I'll be there with a minute or two to spare I realize as I'm driving away from my house. Today is a big nothing day for me, 6 hours of work, I'm going home, getting some dinner, then I'll find something to read until I fall asleep. I'm in dire need of a good nights sleep and tonight is the night I'm gonna get it. Radar and Angela spend every waking moment together so I won't be hearing from them. Ben will be home today, he and Lacey will be getting reacquainted big time if I'm reading Lacey correctly. She seemed really bored while Ben was away and anxious to see him when he gets home later today. Good God, I think to myself, I can't imagine what it would be like to have Lacey excited to see me. We are just friends, but I crave her attention and I really think that there is something wrong with me for perving on my best friend's girlfriend, but sometimes I just can't help it. Then there is Lucy, can we get to Sunday, July 8th please, or I'm gonna explode. I am excited to see Lucy's promised snaps throughout the day. When I see her I feel better, she doesn't seem so far away.

I arrive at work several minutes before noon and immerse myself in the mindless tasks assigned to me. I look at my private Snapchat feed which consists of one person…Lucy. I see that Lucy, as is her nature, isn't wasting the day. There she is just waking up, she has bed hair…she is also gorgeous, caption? "Wake up sleepy head, shake off that hangover Q…don't waste the day." Immediately, my twisted psyche kicks in; did she send me a snap taken as soon as she woke up because she feels comfortable enough to send a picture of her when she just woke up, or did she send me that snap because she doesn't care what I think about her? In the next snap, she is in her running togs, smiling and stretching out those long, taut, sexy legs, no caption required. I can't get enough of those legs, I think to myself, I've had those long sexy legs wrapped tightly around me several times and the memory of it, how it feels, how exciting it is, and how much I want it to happen again has me smiling and instantly breaks me out of my overanalyzing mindset. If anyone walked in here now they would wonder what was so great about this job that it makes me smile from ear to ear.

I'm continuing my sort/save/shred task, apparently there is an endless supply of these aging files. Perhaps they are multiplying, or dividing like cells because it doesn't seem like I'm getting anywhere even though I have been doing this for a couple of weeks. This mindless work is exactly what I need but it doesn't take too long for Lacey's improbable tale, which I have shut out of my mind for almost two days, to force it's way into my consciousness. Once I start thinking about everything she said, I know it will consume my every waking moment because…because maybe it isn't so improbable, maybe…my phone buzzes, more goodies from the beach; it's a snap of Lucy in a mirror, obviously she just showered as the snap is picture of her with a fluffy white towel wrapped around her. "Wish you were here, I need help with this towel" is the caption. She must enjoy tormenting me, it borders on cruel and unusual punishment…Lucy is violating my constitutional rights. I quickly reply "you are enjoying teasing me aren't you?" She replies by texting me a horny devil emoji. I really want to be with her, so much so, that I unconsciously back burner all of this Margo stuff. I continue to sort my files, the next snap is posted about an hour later, it's Lucy eating a burger. "Lunch at Driftwood today with my brothers. Great burgers and beach fries." What the heck are beach fries I wonder? Can't wait to find out though. I guess she must have run several miles this morning if she is lunching on a burger and fries, I say to myself. The next snap is Lucy by their pool, she is wearing her Wildcats Track & Field ball cap, her Oakley shades and a very tight one piece suit, reminiscent of what Olympic swimmers wear, only it is cut to be a little more revealing than an actual competition suit. Same pose as before, shoulders shrugged, hands outstretched as if to say, "what do you think?" The caption is: An afternoon poolside after a long run." Again, I quickly reply, "love the suit, love your curves, you are driving me crazy." The snaps keep coming, holding my attention while I continue to sort files oblivious to the passage of time. The door swings open and my dad sticks his head in the back office where I am working. "Quentin," he says, "its ten after six, everybody has left already, I want to lock up, let's go." With that he notices the fruits of today's labor, "you really made a dent in those files Quentin, nice job," he says. Neatly stacked in alphabetical order by patient last name are the files that must be saved. The files that are to be destroyed are in small canvas bins with wheels that were provided by the shredding company. Someday soon, they will arrive with a giant truck / shredder which will make short work of the discarded files. It's amazing what you can accomplish on autopilot when you are immersed in a pleasant distraction, I say to myself. "Thanks," is all I say to my dad.

On the way home from work, I'm thinking tonight is the night that I do nothing, I'll just sit in my room and read a book, no friends, no video games, no trips to Vinny's. No Margo tonight…no nothing. I'll deal with all of it later, I say aloud to no one as I wheel my minivan into the driveway. I don't care what…my phone buzzes, it's a new snap from Lucy, she is sitting on a lounge chair with a large glass filled with icy pink liquid, orange slice on the rim and cherries on top of the drink. Her illuminating smile is on display, the caption: "Boat Drinks!" "Lucy," I'm out of the car now, walking up the driveway talking aloud to Woody Guthrie, "I do want to deal with Lucy tonight, right Woody?" Shockingly, Mr. Guthrie has no response. I go in the house, tell my mom I'm not hungry go into my bedroom, flop down on the bed and relax. I look at the snap from Lucy, this isn't a selfie, someone else took this I notice. "Neither boats nor drinks here in Jefferson Park," I'm replying to Lucy's snap, "I'm alone, in my bedroom, lonely, completely bored." The reply comes instantly "Awwww, poor baby, I wish I was there so I could kick your ass in GTA." "I would welcome the beatdown if you were administering it," I answer. I decide I'm going to take a nap, I'll read later and in no time I fall asleep.

Who is making all of that racket…a voice shakes me out of my sleep…a very loud, over the top voice…a voice I know all too well, it's the winner of the boyfriend makeover contest. What the fuck is he doing here…geez…why isn't he reacquainting himself with the planet's hottest 18 y.o. girl like a normal guy would? I roll out of the rack and head for the kitchen to find both Ben & Lacey talking to my mom. All three of them turn toward me at once and simultaneously burst into laughter. "Mrs. J," Ben starts, "when did you decide to board a homeless person in Q's room?" Snickering ensues. Lacey piles on, nice hair Q…try to keep your fingers out of the wall sockets." More laughter. I realize I'm wearing a tee shirt, boxers and socks, never thinking that Lacey would be with Ben when I stumbled out of my bedroom. "Really Q?" Lacey continues sarcastically, "you sure know how to impress a girl…that outfit will be trending on Twitter by the end of the night." Even my mom is enjoying them skewering me which is pretty bad, I think. Also, I have nothing, I'm defenseless, so I steal Lucy's about face move and wave my hand for them to follow as I head for my room. I really don't care anyway as Lacey has seen me at my absolute worst and she is still willing to associate with me.

We get in the room, Ben closes the door and says, "Bro…did we disturb your beauty rest?" I flip him the bird as I'm putting on my shorts and say, "You're number 1 Ben," which makes Lacey laugh. I sit down on my bed, Lacey sits on my desk chair and Ben sits on my desk. Obviously, they have something to tell me. "How was orientation, Ben?" "It was boring and stupid, I wasted 2 1/2 days," he replies. "Also," Lacey adds, "we're not talking about college." A notion I hold as well, I'm just not thinking about August 20 something or other. In my mind it is a million days away. "Don't take this the wrong way cause I'm happy to see you, but what the heck are you guys doing here," I ask. "Bro," Ben begins, "you almost got offed by a car?" This gets him a Lacey deadeye, then she says to me, "Quentin, is everything OK with you? We are worried about you, (translation, Lacey is worried about me), there is an awful lot going on in your life right now." "No worries," I reply, but I can tell they aren't buying it by the skeptical looks on their faces. "No…really," I continue, "I'm good, but thanks for looking out for me." "Seriously Q," Ben says, he is serious Ben now, "you wandered into the middle of a busy street while you were texting, you're lucky you didn't land in Intensive Care. It seems to me like there is an issue." "Everything OK with Lucy?" Ben continues. "That's who I was texting when it happened," I tell them, "to be completely accurate, I was texting her right before it happened, but I was thinking about her when it happened." "She didn't dump you or anything did she?" Lacey asks. "Thanks for that ringing vote of confidence Lace but no…actually things are going well with her, she has been snapping me all day today, I pick up my phone and show them all of the snaps. Ben exclaims, "she sure is one candy coated hone…" but stops in his tracks as he can feel Lacey's baby blues on him and quickly changes to "she sure is pretty Q," then he adds, "you're still not sweating any of that Margo stuff I hope." I look at Lacey and she is looking me right in the eye. I quickly discern that she has not spoken to Ben about any of the stuff she told me. I tell Ben, "Margo made it crystal clear she was never coming back so I'm doing my best to put it behind me." I look at Lacey and she gives me an almost indiscernible smile of approval. "However…" Something about hearing Margo's name makes me glance at my laptop which is open on my desk. Ben keeps bumping it and waking it up because he is sitting on my desk. My emails are open because they are always open. Deep in my mind and my heart I've never given up on Margo and I never will. I'm constantly checking my computer or my phone for the only email I want to see, and there it is. Right there next to Ben's elbow and at eye level, two feet away from Lacey, about the third or fourth one from the top is mRs3324  Dammit, I think, if either of them spot that I'm in trouble, Lacey has seen that mRs her whole life and Ben has seen plenty of it as well. How am I gonna…

"However what bro?…where the heck do you go when you do that Q" Ben snaps me out of my thoughts. "There is always something else with him." Ben is leaning over talking to Lacey now and she replies to Ben, "I know…he is way too complicated for me, how did you guys put up with him for all of these years?" She asks. "We pretty much just ignore him…it is so much easier," he answers. "I'm still sitting here, you know that, right?" I say to them. They are both smirking, "Yup, we know," Ben says. "Dude…you ARE complicated, you know that don't you?" "Yea, well Mr. Complicated is about to tell you the best part of the car story." "This should be good," Ben says to Lacey. "I can't wait," she answers him. "Okay, if you two don't want to know who was driving the car that almost hit me, and who was in the car with him, then I'll just keep it to myself," I say to them. "Bro…are you kiddin me? You're saying that you knew the person who almost hit you? Geezus, who was it? "Come on Q, now you have to tell us, who was it?" Lacey asks. "Okay, I have to begin at the beginning, abbreviated version," I say. "Thank you, Lord," Ben quips earning him a Lacey dagger. "So the abbreviated version is I decide to walk home from your house because I'm pretty drunk and I think that the long walk will help clear my head, but as I'm walking, I'm kinda on autopilot and I start thinking about stuff." "Shocker," Lacey says which gets her a Ben fist bump. I ignore them laughing at me and continue. "I decide to text Lucy because my wine impaired brain can't remember if she said she was going to FaceTime me that night, which she was. She was busy helping her mom do something so we just said talk later and that was that. I continue to walk home but I'm zoned out, not really paying attention to where I'm going when I hear car tires screeching. I look up and a car is headed right for me, all I can see are the lights and I am frozen in place." My audience seems spellbound…or they are thinking that I shouldn't be allowed outdoors without supervision. "So, the car stops a couple of feet from me and I hear the driver yelling something like watch where you're going pal or something like that and I recognize the voice, but I can't place it. Then the driver says, "Quentin…is that you Q? Geezus, I almost clobbered you, are you ok?" Ben and Lacey are quiet now, they can tell this story is a keeper. Anyone care to guess who the driver was…anyone? "Come on Q just tell us," Ben says. "Jase Worthington." I tell them. "NO WAY," Lacey shouts, "NO WAY." Ben and Lacey are laughing uncontrollably. "Are you telling me that of all the people with cars in Orlando, you almost got splattered by Jase's big ass Lexus? This is the funniest thing I've never heard, this could only happen to you Q," Ben says, still laughing at me. I am laughing with them as the recounting of the story is funny, because just as Ben suggested, I'm in the middle of it. "What did you say to him?" Lacey asks, barely able to contain her laughter. Once I realize that it is Jase, I just say, "I'm so sorry Jase, I'm such an asshole," and he is laughing at me as well, he says to me "get in the car Quentin before you end up a dead asshole, I'll take you home" or words to that effect. Ben is still laughing at me and Lacey has an incredulous _this is too good to be true_ look on her face. I realize that I will never hear the end of this, especially when they tell Radar.

I continue the story, "so I get in the back seat because there is someone else with Jace. Ms. Pemberton, you are afforded one guess as to who is riding shotgun." She pauses for a millisecond, then I watch her expression change as the obvious answer becomes apparent to her. "Becca," she spits it out like some foul tasting swill. "Becca frickin Arrington is correct Lace, but you guys aren't gonna believe what happened next." Neither of them are laughing now, Becca hates all of us, she was the one who started the "Bloody Ben" story, which made Ben's entire high school life miserable. She was the one who humiliated Lacey in front of everyone at her after prom party, and she hates me for several reasons, my partnering with Margo for the retribution tour being at the top of the list. "She turns around and says to me like I'm her long lost friend…Hi Quentin, I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks, how is your summer going?" "WHAT? That BITCH" Lacey says, "how can she say that to you?" "I know Lace, that's what I'm thinking as well, it was like stepping into bizarro world, they are giving me a ride home so I try to be nice without saying too much, so I just say my summer is ok." Then she asks me, "I hear you're dating some hot senior girl." "How could she know that," Ben asks, "you only hooked up with her last week." "My thoughts exactly Benners, how the hell did she know about Lucy. Jase saved me though, he asked if it was anybody they knew, I had to tell them, since they were driving me home. Apparently Jase knows her family because Lucy's dad does a lot of work for the Worthingtons. By now we are at my house and I get out of the car and thank Jase for driving me home, I also thank him for not killing me. He invites me, and all of us to his going away bash this Friday." "Sweeeeet," Ben replies, "we're definitely going," he says to Lacey. "I told him we would come," Lacey says, "he called me yesterday to invite Ben and I. Also he asked me to invite you, Radar and Angela as well," she says. "Guys, I saved the best part for last though." They are both looking at me, no doubt thinking how much more bizarre can this get. "So I take a couple of steps toward the house and the passenger door opens, Becca gets out and says that she hopes I can make it on Friday because she wants to talk to me about something." Lacey is furious now, she is really pissed and rightfully so. "She is a shameless, manipulating bitch." Ben and I are chuckling at her, "stop sugarcoating everything and tell us what you really think about her Lace," Ben quips. I laugh but Lacey isn't in a laughing mood. "I can't believe she has the nerve to even talk you you Q, what did you say to that rotten bitch, I hope you told her to go fuck herself." Ben and I just look at each other, stunned. Lacey Janelle Pemberton, kind, pleasant, beautiful Lacey, just dropped the F bomb. Now I've heard everything. She covers her mouth and starts laughing…"I can't believe I just said that." "Neither can we," Ben replies. "That's not what I said to her Lace," still laughing at her unlikely outburst, I think I said something like ok, see you there. I was so stunned I just stood in the driveway and watched them until they drove away.

"What could she possibly want to talk about, that's the big thing," Ben says. "Margo," Lacey replies, "she thinks you know where Margo is…everyone thinks you know where Margo is. "I don't though, I have no idea where she is, I haven't heard from her and I don't expect to hear from her," I reply. Lacey is eyeballing me, searching my face for any sign that I'm lying…which I am. It is everything I can do to not glance at my l laptop. Ben moved a bit so he's not bumping it anymore and my screensaver is on now. "With any luck, I'll never have to have that conversation," I tell them. "I don't think I can ever forgive her for what she said about me," Lacey says. "She is just a mean person," she adds. "I say we just forget about her," Ben says and that is exactly what we do, no one mentions her again.

My phone buzzes, it's Lucy FaceTiming me. "Hey Q, how was your virtual day at the beach?" she says as I accept the call. Ben is making sounds like he's puking and Lacey is just rolling her eyes. "Awesome Lucy, you got me through a boring day," I tell her. "What are you doing?" she asks. With that Ben plops down on one side of me, Lacey, the other. They lean in and hijack the call, "Hi Lucy…Hey Lucy," they say. "How's the beach," "Great," she tells them, "but it would be better if Q was here." Ben starts, "Lucy, it's not too late to change your phone number." She giggles at Ben's wisecrack, "I can't, he's too cute isn't he Lacey?" He's too something, that's for sure," she replies, "but don't worry, we're keeping an eye on him while you're away." "Thanks guys," she says, "just get him to next Sunday, point him in the right direction and I'll take it from there," she says sarcastically. Again I say, "I'm sitting right here people," but it's funny and I'm laughing while they make fun of me. "We're leaving now, you can have him all to yourself," Lacey says. "That's the plan," she replies. "Bye Lucy, enjoy your vacation," " Thanks Ben, I will." They get up to leave, a fist bump and a thumbs up from Ben, a little peck on the cheek from Lacey and they disappear through my bedroom door.

"They were worried about me after my standoff with a car the other night," I tell her. "Also, I really enjoyed you snapping your entire day, truth be told I feel so much better when I can see you…you don't seem so far away." That comment gets me the 1000 watt smile on my phone screen. She is so pretty, I realize. That smile, her straight, shoulder length black hair, her skin tanned golden brown with just the right amount of freckles across her face and those unusual, pale green eyes are irresistible to me. "I miss you too Quentin, I'm glad that you were thinking about me all day," she says. "I was imagining I was with you all day…except for the running. However, I was all in for the shower, the pool and the boat drinks," I tell her, laughing. " The boat drink was good, my neighbor Steven brought that over for me while my mom and dad were out," she tells me. "Oh," I say, reprising her comment from Monday, "you're at the beach only three days and you're having poolside boat drinks with another guy, I'm extremely jealous." "Touché…" she replies smiling, "Steven is not another guy, he is our neighbor here at Sea Island. The Hernandez family have been our next door neighbors for as long as we've been coming here. I've known him forever, he's about 5 to 6 years older than me." "Still jealous," I reply. Somewhere deep in my scarred, twisted mind, alarm bells are sounding. "When does your extended family arrive, I ask, changing the subject. "A few are coming late Thursday, some Friday but most of them arrive on Saturday," she explains. It's gonna be crazy with all of these people here, it always is, but it's also kinda fun in a way too," she tells me. Having everyone here for the 4th of July is a Hanratty tradition, it's been going on since I was a little kid," she continues. "I enjoy seeing all of my aunts and uncles and cousins, but after a few days I can't wait for all of them to leave." I try to imagine what that might be like, relatives of all ages, staying together in one house, but I have no frame of reference. I am an only child, and my mom and dad are as well, so I have no cousins, that I know about. "You'll probably feel that way after I've been there a few days as well," I reply, working the self deprecation angle. "Yeah, you're probably right Q," she quickly replies. "I'm sure I'll be sick of you after two or three days, I'm gonna use you and lose you." She is trying to keep a straight face but she just starts laughing. "Omg, now you sound like Ben," I tell her. "Quentin, when you get here next Sunday, I'm gonna wrap my arms around you and I'm not letting go until school starts in August. We spent that entire weekend together and I had so much fun, but it seemed like it was over in a minute." She seems so serious now, I'm taken back a little bit. Up until now these calls have all been lighthearted and funny. "I won't make that mistake again Q, there is a lot of summer left and I want to spend it with you." I pause for a moment, trying to say something memorable because I sure do want to spend the balance of the summer with her, however the only thing I can come up with is, "how about you use me but don't lose me? Also Lucy," I continue," none of us are talking about August, it's like a million days away." "I like that thought Q," she quickly replies, that's how I'm gonna think about it as well.

"What style of bathing suit are we gonna see tomorrow?" I ask, changing the subject which instantly cues Lucy's wicked smile. "What makes you think you're gonna get to see it Q?" "Hope is the only thing left for me after I've been abandoned," I quickly fire back trying to guilt her a little and it works. "Q," she says in mock exasperation, "next Sunday you're gonna be unabandoned. You and I are going to have the greatest week of our young lives, and years from now, after you're a famous doctor and you have thrown me over for someone hotter and better," she is smirking now, "you will think back on that week and say to yourself; what was that plain girl's name? I had the best week of my young life with her." "There is nobody hotter or better than you Lucy, I know…I've been really close to you…nobody." "You're sweet Quentin, but I can think of one person right off the bat," she answers. Whoa… a dart aimed right at Margo. Up until now Lucy has been subtle about her. Lucy, I solemnly reply, "that person is gone and she's never coming back. You're here and for some crazy reason you want to be with me, and I damn sure want to be with you so I've just stopped thinking about all of it and I'm just gonna let it happen…I can't wait for it to happen actually," She is smiling the brightest smile she can muster and I'm sure I have some dorky grin on my face as well. "Q, she finally says after a silent interval where we are just looking at each other on our respectiv screens, "you really know what to say to a girl to make her feel good. I have the perfect swimsuit cued up and ready for tomorrow…you're gonna love it," she says. Suddenly something dawns on me as I'm looking at Lucy, I blurt out, "you got a new hairdo…I love it Lucy, it is so sexy." The new hair style is a subtle, but alluring change. Her straight black hair was always parted in the middle falling equally on both sides to her shoulders. It is the kind of hairstyle one would expect an athletic girl to have, easy to pull into a pony tail for a run. Someone who really knows what they are doing did this styling. At first glance it appears to be the same, Lucy with her straight, black shoulder length hair, but it is different. Her hair is slightly shorter, perfectly even and not quite to her shoulders now. It is parted on the left side of her head with long bangs sweeping from left to right across her face. Depending on how she holds her head, her bangs fall across her right eye and the right side of her face. She is beaming, "thanks Quentin, I was hoping you would notice it, I'm glad you like it." "I love it Lucy it is very sophisticated and alluring," I tell her. Where have I seen a similar hairstyle before I think, it doesn't take me long to recall the alluring hairstyle sported by Margo Roth Speigelman before she cut it herself in Agloe. "My mom took me to this fancy salon yesterday afternoon, it's not like I asked her to take me. She is acting really weird." "Weird in what way." I ask. "Well," she begins, "most of the time she treats me like I am twelve, then she turns around and out of the blue, takes me to a nice salon because, "I'm tired of looking at your middle school hairstyle, you need an upgrade," which is fine with me because I was tired of it as well. She has done a couple of other things over the last few days where she treated me like a normal person my age, but I know she'll revert to form soon." "Moms are strange creatures Lucy, that's what they do," I reply. "Yeah Q…I don't get it either, but I did get this great haircut out of it," she says. "It's awesome, you look like a movie star," I tell her. "Hardly," she replies, but I'm glad you like it. "What are you gonna do this weekend," she asks me. "Not too much, Lacey's cousin is visiting over the 4th and I'll probably do something with them. Also, there is a going away party at Jase Worthington's on Friday which I might attend, depending on whether or not Ben and Radar want to go. I have to work the rest of the week and till noon on Saturday then I'm off till Thursday, so not too much really. "I'll be really busy dealing with the assorted Hanratty family tree members beginning tomorrow, so we may not get so much time to talk, but I'll keep snapping you and texting you. We can FaceTime late at night, ok?" That's great Lucy, we can FaceTime anytime you want, but late at night works for me," I reply. "Ok Q, bye…I really miss you," she says. "Miss you more," I answer and end the call.

I lay down in bed and begin to think about…well I begin to think about everything. Two months ago I was resigned to leaving town in August for school and starting over, hopefully with new friends and a new life in college. Now, my entire life has changed, I can't even say it was turned upside down, it is more accurate to say that the new life I was hoping for at college has begun now. Ben and Lacey are right, I realize, I do have a lot on my plate right now. Actually I'm glad they stopped to see how I'm doing because I really don't know how I'm holding it together. I have so many things running through my mind. I can't believe my good fortune, starting with Lucy, a gorgeous, fun loving girl who wants to hang out with me, so much so that I'm invited to her beach house for a week. I feel like I've stolen some other kid's fun and soon the fun cops are going to be at my front door demanding that I return the fun to the rightful owner. Also, I have no idea what to make of everything Lacey told me Monday night. So far, I've refused to think about it because it is really too much for me to handle. I do have this sense of the inevitability that Lacey's tale is, for the most part, accurate. There is one thing she said that I instinctively know to be true; there is a side to Margo that is selfish and unattractive. Perhaps she did run roughshod over me for years to suit herself, but that doesn't change my feelings for her even a little bit. The ultimate question that confronts me is just this, if my window opened tonight and Margo rolled through in her black hoodie, who would I choose? I already know the answer to that question, but that is not the right question. The right question is; will that window open and deposit Margo Roth Speigelman in my bedroom ever again? The answer to that question is no. So, despite my love for Margo, and despite my secret email contact with her, I'm not doing anything to hurt Lucy. Margo isn't here, Lucy is. Margo wants to go on her great adventure, Lucy wants to hang with me. Margo is never coming back, Lucy invited me to her beach house. Margo insinuates that she cares about me, Lucy acts like she cares about me. I don't feel like I'm lying to Lucy by not telling her I am e-mailing Margo. Heck, I don't know what Lucy is doing at Sea Island, maybe she is cavorting with her neighbor Steven right now. I could show up there next week and end up tagged with the dreaded introduction as _a friend._ I realize that I'm thinking about all of this stuff because I'm afraid to open Margo's email. What if she tells me to get lost, I'm engaged to be married, or I'm leaving for Timbuktu? It's time to face the music.

A double click reveals the following:

Hello Quentin:

I was really excited when I came back to the library, checked my email account and saw your response waiting for me, I couldn't wait to open it, and as I read it I was reminded of how much I miss you and miss talking to you. For now, trading emails will have to suffice. For the record, I do have a special look of exasperation reserved just for you and I appreciate your acknowledgement of it. Let's get to the important thing first. I love that you are fearlessly honest and forthcoming about your feelings. This is complicated and something that I must discuss with you face to face only. That day is coming, but for now I ask that we set all of it aside until we see each other again. It is just too important to me, to both of us, to talk about via email. I'm certain that you agree and I hope that you don't think I'm attempting to put you off, it is quite the opposite. That day is coming for you and I…and I believe I have more to say to you than you do to me.

I hate to admit how much I enjoyed hearing about all of your adventures in Orlando, since it was my intention to leave town and never look back. I just view it as a guilty pleasure. It was always part of my plan to turn over my "duties" to confident Q as I was certain you would carry on successfully. Also, yes…I do remember saying that to you, I'll never forget it or any other moment of that night. I'm glad to hear that you and your friends are enjoying the summer, but no matter how hard I try, I am having trouble picturing you at a Worthington beer bash. I'm amused to hear that Lacey has befriended you, she is one person I actually liked, despite her shallow, vapid persona, always in need of a best friend. She couldn't have a better one than she has now.

Life for me in Brooklyn is hard but exciting. I work a lot because I need to save money if I'm ever going to do the kind of traveling I've always imagined. I'm looking forward to actually being able to "talk" to you. This place opens at noon on Sundays and I can be here about noon this coming Sunday. I will send you an email as soon as I get here. I know you will be waiting for it and I'm excited to chat.

I do have some news that I know you will find disappointing. I spend so much time on my feet working, and I do so much walking around the city, I'm now a lot less curvy ninja than I used to be, actually about 10 pounds less curvy. Not to worry Q, my big ass that you love is still big. I have to go Q, so I'll "see" you this Sunday.

Love, Margo.

My first reaction to her email is silly, she lost 10 pounds? Noooooo, I love her curves, it's part of what makes Margo Margo. I absentmindedly type a response and send it off to mRs3324 . _I'll be waiting for you on Sunday, Love you, Q._ I'm recalling my awkward attempt to tell Margo that she didn't need to lose weight, I guess she remembered as well. If Margo doesn't want to deal with something, she just acts like it doesn't exist, I say to myself. I was fearful that she would break off contact with me after reading my email, or more likely just ignore everything I said about my feelings for her. But she didn't, she actually said when we see each other, not if, not maybe, but when. Short of " _Quentin, come to New York for me, I want to be with you,"_ This is about the best response that I could expect, and it makes me feel….what? Warm and fuzzy? Hardly, when I received her first email I was deliriously happy. I was so excited to hear from her. Now, I feel good. I feel confident that I played it just right and this will lead me to what I want, the opportunity to see Margo again. Also, I like the secrecy, no one knows where Margo is except me, no one has had any contact with her but me. I realize everyone assumes I know where she is and that I'm talking to her or texting her late at night but I have been extremely careful to give no indication whatsoever that I have talked to Margo. It is what she asked and I am abiding by her wish. I break into a smile as I realize I am reprising a role I unwittingly played in the past, Margo Roth Speigelman's secret boyfriend. If that is what ie required of me to remain in contact with Margo, then secret boyfriend it is. I'm laying in my bed and I am actually ok with how this is working out. In a weird way, Margo and I are together. I know where she is, I'm communicating with her, no one else knows anything. It reminds me of how I felt the night we spent together bringing down the rain on her enemies, just she and I, together, connected, no one else around. I had her all to myself as I do now. It dawns on me that I am what everyone now thinks I am, mysterious, complicated Quentin. It is a persona fabricated by rumor and innuendo. I simply stepped into it, making it real in a certain way all because of our Agloe road trip and my secret contact with Margo.

Truth be told…I love it, all of it. Why do I love it? I gonna tell you why, I'm talking aloud to myself now as I'm having one of those take stock moments. So I begin to enumerate the reasons, starting with this time last year, or this time 3 months ago for that matter, my life consisted of hanging out with my only two friends in the world Ben and Radar, playing video games. I spent hours pining for Margo, or any other girl for that matter, to notice me, all the while burying my nose in my studies until the anguish known as high school was over. Now, it appears that I'm tramping my own little Orlando journey, not the far corners of the world mind you but for me it is a journey nonetheless. I have three terrific friends, many acquaintances and there is that beautiful girl who wants to hang with me enough that she invited me to her beach house. People want to talk to me because I'm Q, mysteriously connected to Margo Roth Speigelman, or I'm friends with Lacey Pemberton, or because I'm _"dating some hot senior"_ as Becca Arrington described it. Regardless of the reason, I love the attention, I guess I was just attention starved all these years because I really do enjoy it. Outwardly, I appear the same to everyone, inside I am 100% attention whore. This is really kinda pathetic, but for the time being at least, I am quietly reveling in all of it.

What in God's name has happened to me, I wonder. I have to stay true to myself, true to my friends, true to Lucy and true to Margo. Is that even possible, I wonder. I sense that a major dilemma is about to roil my life. Today, it is fair to say that I like Lucy and I'm in love with Margo, but that is about to change drastically. The truth is I am falling for Lucy as well, and in a few short days I'll be spending an entire week at the beach with her. Unless I am completely off base, by the end of that week Lucy and I will have fallen love as well. Can that even happen, is it allowed, I think to myself? What kind of person does that make me? Am I being a jerk dating Lucy all the while secretly communicating with Margo? I can't talk to anyone about this because I promised Margo that I would tell no one that we have connected. Even if I told Ben or Radar in confidence, I know in the end it would be the same as telling the whole town. I am able to justify all of this in my own mind because Margo has left town and is never coming back. Lucy is here and I'm here so what's wrong with what I am doing? Nothing…I believe. I have a real opportunity to see Margo again, not just some wishful thinking, she is the one who broached the topic about seeing each other though I'm certain that I want to see her more than she wants to see me. Suddenly, I'm excited and nervous, I can't wait until noon on Sunday. I'm probably the person most excited ever about the prospect of receiving an email.

…I can feel the breeze that is swaying the tall grass all around us. I'm laying on my back, Margo is laying next to me on her side, her leg is thrown over mine, her arm is draped across my chest, she is sound asleep, her head resting comfortably on my shoulder. I can feel her measured breathing as she sleeps. Suddenly she wakes up is looking at me but her eyes are looking past me. I've seen this in her eyes before it is a dead look. She gets up and walks away, I try to follow but can't seem to move. I try to talk, "Margo…MARGO," but no sound is coming from my mouth. Suddenly she returns with two people, their faces are obscured. I'm trying to say something but I can't speak, I try to stand but I can't move. "Stand him up," one of the figures says. Margo and the other figure grab me and stand me up. The figures are talking to Margo now, that have an odd accent, I can barely understand what they are saying to her. " He's seen everything?" one of them asks her. She nods her head. He's seen both of us too the other one says as he hands Margo a gun. "Margo, what are you DOING?" I'm screaming at her, but she can't hear me. She cocks the gun as I try to get away, but I can't move, I'm helpless, I'm panicking. "He just couldn't take the hint" she is saying. "He had to follow me here."now she is leveling the gun right at my face, I'm pleading with her. "No…Margo don't do it, please, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I'm begging for my life but no sound is coming out of my mouth. Cold and calculating, she says, "Now you _are_ gonna take a bullet for me Quentin," and she squeezes the trigger…I shoot up out of my bed, drenched in sweat, hyperventilating. It takes me quite a few minutes to get my bearings. I'm in my bedroom…that was godawful I say to myself, that was so disturbing, worse than all of the other Margo nightmares, my heart is pounding like crazy. I'm completely freaked out, I've had these nightmares before and although unsettling, they were just crazy nightmares. There was something truly disturbing about this one however and the reason slowly becomes apparent. The look…Margo's normally beautiful blue eyes with that dead appearance. In the dream, when she trained the gun on me I saw that dead look in her eyes, looking right through me at some unseen horror. It's a look I've seen before…twice. When we were kids and she told me to close my window and when we were downtown in my mom's car at the Sun Trust Building. Each time the look was leveled at me, not unlike the gun in the dream, it was a harbinger of bad things to come.

I check my phone, it's 4:35, not sure what time I fell asleep, but I'm wide awake now. I get out of bed and sit on my desk chair. Just looking out my window unnerves me because all I can see is Margo on the other side of the window staring right through me with that dead look in her eyes as she did nine years ago. I feel like I'm gonna puke, I head for the bathroom and get the shower going. Perhaps I can rinse this terrible feeling off me, I get in the shower and let the hot water run over my head, thinking about Margo, how much she means to me, where she is, what she is trying to do, everything she said to me, everything Lacey told me about her and for the first time ever a new thought creeps into my consciousness. Maybe I should just let Margo go. Her string, to which I am clinging with all of my might, maybe I should just let go of it and let her drift away. She wouldn't be upset if I decided to just leave her alone, she would likely welcome it. I feel…what do I feel? Depressed?…sad?…some combination of those two I believe. The idea that I would even think about letting Margo drift away from me is so depressing that I can barely imagine it. The cold hard fact that it is over between us, over before it even started, makes me very emotional, and for the second time this summer, I shed a tear for Margo. Last time I cried for her, I thought she was dead. This time it is because the cold hard truth that I should let Margo go just slapped me in the face. It took a crazy nightmare to make me see it, but see it I do and the sight is nothing short of depressing. I remain in the shower until there is no hot water left, wrap myself in a towel and get back in bed.

I have work in a few hours, it's gonna be a long, lonely, miserable day.

Chapter 8: Independence Week or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Margo Gone.

I'm on my way to work, I'll be there right on time, I got dressed and skipped breakfast because I'm tired and not hungry. The day passes without incident, I have my brain switched off for the most part. I take a much needed nap over lunch and continue to ride out the day. Lucy sends me a few snaps, to which I enthusiastically reply. She snaps me a picture of her on the beach wearing the olive green bikini she wore the first night we spent together. "That's my favorite…it is the one you were wearing the first night we spent together" I tell her. Her reply is a selfie of her smiling her wicked smile, caption: "you alway know exactly way to say to a girl Quentin." I don't want her to know I'm down in the dumps. I miss her too I realize, perhaps as much as I miss Margo. Is this day ever gonna end I wonder? Eventually it does and I absentmindedly drive home, go in the house, tell my mom I'm not hungry and head for the inner sanctum that is my bedroom. I'm tired, I'm in a lousy mood, I don't want to talk to, text, snap or FaceTime anyone. I don't want anyone to check on me to see how I'm doing, I don't want to see anyone who is concerned about my well being, I just want to be numb. I'm laying in bed, reveling in my Margo induced misery. My realization that perhaps I should let Margo tramp her perpetual journey and stop trying to hang on to some tiny version of her is the cause of my discontent. My phone buzzes a few times, it Ben, it's Lacey, it's Radar, I just don't feel like talking to anyone tonight, but I check to see who it is every time it buzzes, which strikes to the heart of my dilemma. I don't want to talk to anyone…but Lucy. I really _want_ to talk to Lucy. If she was here I wouldn't be sulking, the snaps she sent me today really made me feel good. I grab my phone:

Today 9:01 PM

Q: FaceTime later?

A couple minutes go by, then she replies.

Lucy: Yup, it will be late though.

Q: Miss you, need to talk.

Lucy: Miss you more. Already a madhouse here, talk later?

Q: K.

Read 9:09 PM

That makes me feel better, I cradle my phone and roll over in bed and in no time I'm asleep. Seems like a minute later my phone is buzzing again, I notice that it is 1:06 AM. I accept the FaceTime call and there is that 1000 watt smile blazing away in m phone screen. "Heyyy…I can't get enough of that smile," I tell her. "Hi Q, everything ok?" She replies. "Your phone went to voicemail like four times before you woke up. You weren't drinking wine again were you?" she asks, snickering. "No Lucy, nothing that dramatic. I couldn't sleep last night and wasn't hungry all day today, just didn't feel well I guess, but it's all good now," I tell her. "You sure you're ok Q? Angela called me earlier to ask if I talked to you, she said you weren't answering your texts or calls." "No worries Lucy, I'm good, I was just really tired, maybe a little sick. I came right home from work and hit the rack, I feel much better now," I tell her. "How's it going at Casa en la Playa Hanratty?" I ask, changing the subject. "Fun actually, it's great to see everyone, it will get old by next week but right now it's fun." "Save some of that fun for next week, It's boring here," I say. "Ohhhh you poor baby," she replies sarcastically. "My selfish side is glad that you are bored, I worry that you will lured away by some hottie while I'm gone." "Perish the thought," I tell her. Just talking to her makes me feel better. "I'll only succumb to being lured to Sea Island next week," I'm laughing now, this girl just makes me feel good. "Quentin," she replies, she is all serious now, "are you sure everything is ok, I got that text saying that you needed to talk." "Everything is ok now Lucy, I just wanted to see you and talk to you. I was being a little selfish too. You don't seem so far away when I can see you, that is why I sent that text," I explain. "Well…I was worried that you were texting from the middle of a busy intersection again," she is smirking as she delivers that jab. "Haha…no Lucy, I was in my room, bored and lonely, desperately in need of attention," I reply. You're gonna get all the attention you can stand next week Q, all you have to do is make it here in one piece," her bright smile and those pale green eyes are lighting up my phone screen. "Thanks for the snaps today Lucy, you made my day, it was a long one at work today," I tell her. "My pleasure," she replies. "There is plenty more where those came from," she continues. So…what are you gonna do this weekend Q, are you going to that big party? Angela and Marcus said you were going with them." This is news to me but I'm not gonna contradict Lucy's best buddy so I tell her, "yeah, I'm probably gonna go with them, I really don't have anything else to do. Lacey's cousin is visiting her, she gets here Saturday so I believe that there are some plans afoot for the rest of the holiday weekend as well." I continue, "I'm just along for the ride this weekend. The only thing of interest on my calendar is a July 8th road trip to Sea Island Georgia." "What a coincidence," she replies smirking as she says it. "A boy is coming to visit me that very day…assuming he can make the drive in one day." "Not a bad driver," I fire back, to which she quickly replies, "ah yeah…terrible driver but he has many redeeming qualities," she adds. "Great video game player?" I ask. "Hardly," she replies. "Tall, buff, well dressed, great hair and devilishly handsome no doubt." I'm fishing for compliments now, I really am an attention whore, I say to myself. Lucy is laughing at me, she answers, well…he's tall, he has hair and he is kinda cute that's for sure. I am really excited to see him though," she adds. "I have it on good authority that he is more excited to see you," I tell her. "Q, you better get your skinny butt out of bed early and get moving next Sunday, I'm gonna wrap my arms around you when you get here and never let go," she tells me as she beams her 1000 watt smile. "I can feel your arms around me Lucy, I can smell your summer cologne and I can't wait to place my hand on your cheek and brush back those stylish bangs," I tell her. I catch myself with a goofball smile, that's a dopey thing to say, no doubt. Lucy is laughing at me because I'm such a goofball but she seems to like me anyway. We continue to talk about everything and nothing. We are just enjoying each other's company. It is reminiscent of the nights we spent right here, just the two of us…time is suspended and neither one wants to break the spell. I don't know which one of us fell asleep first but I wake up and notice it is 3:31 AM. I didn't end the call, I guess she did, it ended at 2:58 AM.

Today 3:33 AM

Q: Miss you more

I hit send, roll over and fall asleep in no time. It is the deep restful sleep of a contented person.

Friday is flying by, I'm amazed how my mood can change the perception of my mindless job. Yesterday it was dreadful and endless, today effortless. It is lunchtime already so I decide to go outside and get some fresh air instead of going for lunch. It's a summer day in Orlando, hot for sure, but a nice day, no stifling heat. There are some benches and tables alongside the office which people use for lunch when it is cooler, but no one is outside today. I find a bench in the shade and try to relax but true to form my mind goes into overdrive. How can I be so miserable one day, then feel so good the next? The obvious answer is Margo makes me feel miserable and Lucy makes me feel good. This is true on the surface but it's not that simple for me. It just wouldn't be me if it wasn't complicated, I realize. As I ponder the burgeoning Margo v. Lucy dilemma, my phone is buzzing, it's Radar. Radar never calls me, I say to myself, something is up, I accept the call. "Radar, what's up?" "What's up is you went dark yesterday, what's going on Q? Everybody was worried about you dude, you always answer your phone eventually," he says. "I felt like crap at work yesterday, not bad enough to go home but lousy anyway. After work I went home, fell asleep and slept all night for the most part," I explain. I'm not lying but I'm not telling the whole story either. "I feel a lot better today. I did see the messages from you guys when I woke up about 1 AM." "I'm sure there is more to it than that Q, but I don't really need to know, that's not why I called" Radar says. "In your absence, we all decided we are going to that big party tomorrow, Angela and I will pick you up at 8:30 or so." I reply, "Suppose I have plans?" "Yeah…right Q, see you at 8:30," Radar replies and ends the call.

It's good to have friends, you can't B. S. them I say to myself as I set my phone down. As soon as I do it starts buzzing again, as if setting it down triggered the buzzing. I pick it up, it is her Royal Highness, Princess Lacey. I'm gonna get an earful now, I realize as I accept the call.

"Good afternoon Lady Lacey, your Royal Highness," is my smartass greeting. "Quentin," she begins. Here we go…anytime Lacey addresses me as Quentin…"I'm really worried about you, are you ok? When you didn't answer your texts or calls I'm," she pauses as if to choose the right words, "honestly Quentin, I'm always worried you are going to turn into a runner, you know, take off on some crazed quest to track down Margo." "All is well Lacey," I say and proceed to tell the same tale told to Radar a few moments ago, only she's not buying it. "Quentin" she is exasperated now, "I was really concerned when you weren't answering anyone last night, I wanted to stop by your house to see if you were ok, but Ben talked me out of it. He said that you were just Q being Q. I didn't tell him any of the stuff I told you about Margo, that is just between you and I," she says. "Sometimes I think that I shouldn't have dumped my rambling theory on you like I did, you already have a lot going on in your life." Lacey has said this to me before and I've always brushed it off, but she has a point. I do have a lot going on in my life and sometimes, like yesterday, it really is overwhelming. "Honestly Lacey, you did me a favor, I haven't spent a lot of time dwelling on it but it has given me a different perspective, and I'm starting to be ok with all of it." "Really Q…you're not ok with anything Margo…not buying it, but I'll take your word that all is well for the moment," she tells me. So…we're all going to Jase's party tomorrow then there is gonna be lots of stuff to do over the 4th. You're spending the whole extended weekend with us." This is classic Lacey taking me under her wing, and this is classic me loving every minute of the attention. "Ok Lace, I'm good to go." I tell her. "Ben and Lacey, Angela and Radar and a long holiday weekend with Q, everyone's favorite 3rd wheel." She laughs a little, then says "Quentin, you're forgetting about Avery." Who the hell is Avery I'm thinking to myself? "My cousin…Avery…she'll be here on Saturday…remember Q?" "I do Lace, I remember everything you tell me." Of course I completely forgot about Lacey's cousin visiting and I don't remember hearing her name, but I pretend that I remember. "I'm happy you're feeling better Q, see you tonight, Marcus is picking you up?" She raises the inflection in her voice to form the question. "Who the hell is Marcus?" I reply, which cracks her up. "Bye Q" she says ending the call.

So much for a quiet lunch break, I think. The balance of the day zooms by. The office closes at 5:00 PM today, so I'm home before 5:30. My mom is there, she's making dinner which is terrific because today I'm hungry. I beat my dad home from the office and when he comes in we all sit at our kitchen island for dinner, something we haven't done much lately. My dad tells me that they need me to work the front desk and answer the phones tomorrow, then he asks me if I'm excited for college. I don't tell him that all of us are not talking about college, in our minds it is a million days away. "Yeah dad," I'm looking forward to it," I tell him. My mom steers the conversation to my friends, "How are Radar and Ben doing?" She asks. Here we go…let the inquisition continue, I think. "I haven't seen either of them in a few days." "They're good," I tell her. "They both spend a lot of time with their girlfriends." "That's nice," she continues. "What about you Quentin." My mom says, "how is Lucy doing, are you still talking to her?" "Lucy is at her parents beach house mom," I answer. "I know that Quentin, I'm asking if you have talked to her since she left?" "Sure," I answer, "I've talked to her a couple of times, she seems to be enjoying the beach." I haven't yet broached the topic of my planned trip to Sea Island, so I figure now is as good a time as any, so I continue. "Lucy invited me to visit her at their beach house, so I'm going to Sea Island next Sunday." "Ohhhh…" an unusually long pause, it takes a lot to knock my mom off of her game…"that's nice," my mom says, she seems surprised but she finally recovers. "What about Lucy's parents, do they know you are coming?" "Yeah mom…both of them made a point of telling me I was welcome to visit." I reply. "Dad, I hope it's ok that a miss a few days at the office," I ask him. "That will be fine Quentin, you're getting through those old files faster than I thought you would, a few days off won't hurt," he says. I conveniently leave out the detail that I'm staying for an entire week. They don't need to know that right now. I look at my mom and I can see the wheels turning in her mind. "Quentin, you and Lucy must be getting along well if she invited you for a visit," she says. "Don't read more into it than there is mom, she's a nice girl, a lot of fun, we like hanging out with each other, that's the whole story," I tell her. "She seems like a nice girl Quentin, I don't know her mother, but I know Jack Hanratty, he was in my high school class," she says. "I always liked him," she continues. My mom and Lucy's dad were in the same high school class? I can't wait to spring that one on Lucy, I might save that one for when I get there, I tell myself. "Really mom, Lucy's dad was in your high school class? What was he like in high school." I ask her. "He was an athlete, played football and baseball, he was a good player as I recall. I didn't have many classes with him, but I knew him a little bit. He was a really nice guy, haven't seen him in years, but I know he is very successful. Lucy must look like her mom, when she told me her name I didn't put two and two together right away." "She does," I answer, "she looks exactly like her mom." I conclude that my mom must have engaged in some sort of snooping operation for her to figure out who Lucy's parents are. I don't really care though, moms will be moms. Mine is always trying to butt in on my social life, trying to find out what I'm up to…especially now since I actually have a social life of sorts. "How's Margo doing?" she nonchalantly asks. "She's…I slam on the brakes before "doing good" gets out of my mouth. Holy shit…she almost got me, this isn't a coincidence, it is a plan of attack. She is staring at me waiting for what seems like forever for me to finish. "…gone. She's gone and she's never coming back mom. She made that crystal clear when we found her in May. I doubt that I'll ever see her again," I tell her. She's looking at me like I know more than I'm telling, which is unnerving because obviously, I know more than I'm willing to say. She is a trained professional, I can't fool her forever. I load up my plate with more food and head for my room saying; "I gotta get ready, Radar is coming for me soon," quickly retreating to the inner sanctum of my room. Dammit, I say to myself, I can't let that happen again, my mom is way too friendly with Mrs. Speigelman. If I let something slip, she would hear about it in a hot second, then I wouldn't be lying when I say that I'll never see Margo again.

It's only 6:15, Radar isn't coming until about 8:30, but my mom doesn't know that. I had to get out of the kitchen before I said something dumb. I sit down on my bed with the plate of food and just about the time I realize that I've seen no snaps from Lucy today, she sends me one. It is a pic of her with all of her female cousins. They are at the pool, Lucy seems to be the oldest girl, they're all waving. Caption: "Hanratty girls say hi Q!" I quickly reply, "You are the hottest cousin!" I do the quick shower and change thing, I'm ready to go with plenty of time to spare.

I lay down in my bed and of course I start thinking…I don't have to dwell on Margo, I'm all set with her. She and I have a "date" this Sunday at noon. Even though we will only be exchanging emails, I'm excited to "talk" to her. I don't have to dwell on Lucy, I'm going to visit her at the beach next week and that can't come soon enough, I can't wait to see her. I marvel at how much my life has changed is such a short period of time, but looming in the background is the burgeoning Margo v. Lucy dilemma. I'm counting on circumstances to ensure that I never have to deal with it.

"Q…dude…"I hear a voice and tapping on my door…it's Radar. "Yeah, I'm here," I reply. He opens the door, Angela is with him. I'm not sure when I fell asleep but I was out big time and I'm trying to snap out of it. They are both laughing at me, Angela with her patented hand over her mouth giggle, a very polite laugh. "Getting your beauty nap in before the big party?" Radar starts. "Something like that," I mumble, still sleepy. Well…get your butt in gear dude, we're late. I look at my phone, it is 9:00 and there are a few messages from Radar. Otw, be there in 5 min. Then, we're in your driveway. Also there are two missed calls from Radar as well. "Sorry, I must have dozed off, I tell them. "Your mom is real chatty tonight" Radar says, "what gives." "I dunno man, she was grilling me about you guys, Ben and Lacey, and Lucy. I leave out the Margo curve ball she threw me cause I don't want them asking me about her either. "I had to bail from dinner and hide in here to escape further questioning." Angela continues to look at Radar and giggle…"whaaaat?" I stretch it out. Angela replies, "Q…nice bed hair, even you can't appear in public with that mop, she says. I look in the mirror and it reveals the results of falling asleep with wet hair, half of it is standing straight up and half is plastered to the side of my head…it appears as though you could mop the floor with my hair. "Yea Ang, I gotta do something about that." I grab a brush out of my bathroom and try to brush it down but it keeps returning to its original state, They are dying laughing at me while this is going on. Finally, I give up, take off my shirt, turn on the shower and stick my head under the water, better to start from scratch. This proves to be about 90% effective and I announce that I'm ready to go. Radar and Angela can't get enough of this, they are killing me as Radar steers his mom's Volvo wagon toward our destination. "That was funnier than anything else that could possibly happen tonight," Angela says to Radar. "I know," he replies to Angela, "Q is so dorky, if we weren't there to save him he would have shown up at the party with that bed hair." "The best part is that he washed his hair again and it is still sticking up on one side," Angela says. They are both enjoying a good laugh at my expense. "Guys," I interrupt their merriment, "you know I'm right here, in the back seat, I can hear everything you are saying." They don't answer me, they just laugh even harder.

We arrive at the Worthington estate and there are a lot of people here already. We park out on the street and walk up the driveway, just like Radar and I did last time we were here. Seems like one of us knows most of the people we see as we walk into the house. We find Ben and Lacey on the patio and kinda take over a little section for ourselves. "Oh sweetie...what is going on with your hair?" Lacey says with a disapproving look on her face. This sets off another round of laughter from Radar and Angela. "It's residual bed hair Lacey," Angela tells her. "It was a lot worse earlier," she adds. "There's no hope for me Lace," I tell her, working the self deprecation angle, "I'm doomed to go through life as a dork," which makes Lacey laugh. Ben interrupts, "come on Q, lets get a beer," he says pulling me away from the group. I follow, expecting him to have some pressing issue, but he doesn't, he just wants to talk. So Q…what's up…what have you been doing? I haven't seen you since Tuesday night," he says, but keeps going before I can answer. "What about that scrumptious honeybunny at the beach, are you still going to visit her?" "Yo…Benners…slow down cowboy," I slip it in while he's taking a breath. "The answer to the first question is not much, I got sick on Wednesday at work so I went home and went right to bed," I tell him even though that is only a partial story. "Dude…I know…Lacey was freaking out when you wouldn't answer your phone, I had to calm her down a little," he tells me. "Really? What's up with that?" I ask. I dunno bro…I convinced her that that it was just you being yourself, sometimes you just zone out a little…there's no problem or anything." "Well you're right, other than feeling like catshit, I was fine, eleven hours of sleep works wonders." I say. "Ever since I got back from Tampa, Lacey is worried that you are gonna take off on a whim looking for Margo again." Ben continues, "I'm not sure why she's so worried about Margo, no one even knows where she is." I reply, "Well, I certainly don't know where she is, perhaps someone else does. Anyway, I'm slowly putting a lot of Margo stuff behind me…or at least I'm trying to," I tell Ben as we're filling our solo cups with Natty Light, that infamous swill that kids everywhere drink because it's cheap. " I'm only having one tonight, I gotta work tomorrow morning," I tell Ben. "That sucks," he replies. Did your dad give you time off to go to Lucy's beach house." Ben asks. "Sorta, I asked if I could miss a few days but I didn't tell him I was going for a whole week. They'll figure it out when I don't show up until the next Sunday." "Wow Q, what's up with you…living dangerously now," Ben says sarcastically. "I'm a rebel, Ben," I reply, which makes him laugh. It's good to talk to Ben, I realize, just the two of us, we don't really get to do that so much any more. "Bro…that is so awesome…a whole week with that hot honeybunny at a fancy beach house, what are you gonna do while you're there," he asks. "I'm confident we'll find something to do together," l answer with a little grin on my face. "Awesome bro," I show him a couple of the snaps Lucy sent me, not the sexy underwear one, that's for my eyes only, but a couple of the pics from the beach. "Q," he says, "she's awesome." Ben adds his ever present fist bump. He must be deep into the Natty Light because everything is _awesome._

I look around and notice Jase is talking to a group comprised of about half of the baseball team. I want to talk to him before he leaves, I still feel like such an asshole about stepping out in front of his car, so I tell Ben I'm going to walk around the party a little bit and I kinda head toward where they are standing, but I change my mind as I realize every large, muscle bound athletic dude from WPHS is standing there and I sure don't have anything to say to those people, so I kinda veer away from the crowd like I'm going somewhere else. Jase spots me though and yells as he is walking toward me, "hey Quentin, you haven't been playing in traffic again, have you?" which gets a laugh out of all of his buddies, which also means everyone heard the story. I laugh too because Jase has a big grin on his face. "Jace, thanks again for taking me home, I was way more drunk than I thought. "No worries Q," he says, "it happens to the best of us, I'm really glad I didn't knock you into next week" he adds, to which I quickly reply, "so am I Jase, "that would have put a crimp on my summer, anyway I just wanted to apologize for being such a dope and scaring the shit out of you. Also, good luck at Florida too, I hope it all works out for you," I tell him and I mean it as I realize there are a lot worse people than Jase Worthington, not that I want to be his best buddy or anything, but he is a lot less of an asshole than I originally thought. Besides, I doubt that I'll ever see this guy again so I feel I can afford to be magnanimous. A couple of these dudes make their way over to where we are talking, I hardly know any of them except that they are younger, in Lucy's class. They say hi Quentin, or hey Q, that kind of stuff as they are walking by. One guy says "dude, you're dating Lucy? Way to go man…she's awesome." "She sure is," I quickly reply. These guys keep moving to wherever it is they are headed as I contemplate if there is a direct correlation between the consumption of Natty Light and _awesome._ If you formatted it on a graph, does the amount of awesomeness increase at a 1:1 ratio with the consumption of Natural Light? This is a question for Radar, I realize. I also realize that Jase is staring at me, he finally says, "dude, still with us?" "Yeah, I was just wondering how much Natty Light it takes to make everything awesome?" He laughs at my joke then says, "did you talk to Becca, she asked me twice if you were here?" I guess I have a look of panic on my face because he quickly adds, "l don't know what she wants either. Anyway, speaking of Natty Light, feel free to help yourself to the good stuff, you know where it is." "Appreciate it Jase, but I have to work tomorrow so I'm laying off the sauce tonight." I spot Kayla and Kyra talking to some guys, I start to leave and Jase says, "when you see the Hanrattys, tell them I said hi, they are great people." "I'll do that Jase."

I'm on my way to where Kayla and Kyra are standing, they introduce me to the guys they are talking to, and I tell them that Angela is looking for them. Kyra asks, "Have you talked to Lucy?" "Not since last night, but she did snap me a little while ago. All of her cousins are there." I have them in tow now, including the guys they were talking to as we head for the spot on the patio that Ben and Radar commandeered. "You're still going there next week, right?" Kyra continues. "That's the plan, why, is something wrong?" I ask. "No, she is really excited for you to visit, but when we talked the other day she is worried that you might not come." "I'm not going if I'm dead or in jail," I tell them, which makes them laugh. Kayla is in on the conversation now. "Barring that, next Sunday morning I'm on the way to Sea Island. I can't wait to see her Kyra," I continue. "If I could leave right now, I would." "She is such a worrier," Kyra continues, "I told her she was crazy, she always thinks something is going to go wrong. I'm texting her now and telling her what you said." Sure, no problem. I really do miss her, I tell them.

By this time we reach the patio and as is usually the case, our very own celebrity couple is holding court, which I find amusing to observe. Ben Starling, my best buddy since middle school, former school pariah "bloody Ben" is now trendy Ben. He's got the boyfriend clothes, the hip hairstyle and the over the top personality to go with it. Also, he has a beautiful girlfriend. He is laughing and joking with all kinds of people, I have no idea how he knows them, he seems to know everyone. Lacey is smiling and chatting with people as well. She is beautiful, kind, confident and happy. She knows what to say to everyone to make them feel good. They are the most unlikely perfect couple ever I realize, and nobody is happier for them than me. Kyra is trying to corral everyone for a picture, which she finally does. She gives one of the guys with them her phone and says, "everyone wave to Lucy," which we all do as the kid with the phone takes a few pics. Kyra shows me the picture she is gonna post, I'm standing between Angela and Ben smiling and waving like everyone else in the picture. I pull my phone out of my pocket,

Today 10:45 PM

Q: Miss you!

Then quickly pocket my phone again. I'm already thinking about getting out of here, but how, I wonder. Walking home is out of the question, it is way too far to walk. I can feel eyes on me; It's Angela, waiting for me to finish what I'm doing. Radar and Ben are talking, or more accurately Ben is talking and Radar is enduring as Angela grabs my arm and pulls me aside. She says, "Quentin, I just had a weird encounter with Becca Arrington, I swear to God that she has never said word one to me in four years of High School even though we had several classes together." "Was she strangely friendly,?" I ask. "Yea," Angela replies. "Like she was a different person with, you know…a soul." I crack up, at that comment because, 1: it is funny and 2: it came out of Angela's mouth. Her parents raised her to be a proper young lady, she holds to the notion if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything, old fashioned by today's standards. "Don't stop now Ang, tell me what she said." "Well" she continues, "l was looking for Kayla and Kyra, probably about the same time you found them, anyway, I see her but I don't give her a second thought because she never acknowledged my existence and I've never lost any sleep over it." I chuckle at her comment. "So, as soon as she spots me she comes right over to me and says, "Angela, you look so cute tonight, I've always admired how you dress," like she is my best friend that I haven't seen in a while." "Geeeez, really?" I answer, raising the tone of my voice to form the question. "Yeah," she continues, "I must have had a shocked look on my face because we just stood there looking at each other for what seemed to me to be forever, but it was only a moment before I managed to say, "thanks Becca, you look nice too," or words to that effect. Then she starts talking about UCF, apparently she is going there as well, and that we should get together and do something once school starts. Honest to God Q, I had no idea what to say to her, she took me by surprise. I tried to be as polite as I could and said something about connecting when school starts. It was an odd encounter that's for sure. Maybe she's bipolar," Angela quips. "Ya think?" I answer. "That's how she was with me Ang, like I was her best friend," I tell her. "With any luck, neither of us will see her again...ever," I add. "Are you excited to visit Lucy next week?" she asks, changing the subject. I can't wait Ang, honest to God if I could leave now, I would be on the way." I fish my phone out of my cargo shorts and there is a reply.

Lucy: Miss you more! FaceTime late?

Q: Oh yeah…keep calling til I wake up.

Lucy: You know I will.

Read: 11:01

"Sorry Ang, that was Lucy," I tell her. Angela smiles, "I'm glad you two are hitting it off Quentin. Lucy really needed to meet someone nice, she has only ever dated jerks. She is so worried something is going to happen and you won't go…she is driving me nuts" I'll be happy when next week rolls around and you are there." "Me too Angela, I'll be real happy when I'm there."

I'm trying to figure out a way to get out of here without any of my friends noticing. They will try to get me to stay if I tell them I'm leaving, so I just kinda slip away without saying anything. I walk through the house and exit through the main door and sit on the front porch steps. My plan revolves around hoping to see someone I know that is leaving and headed toward Jefferson Park, however that is not working too well because I've been sitting on the steps for a while and I haven't really seen anyone who is leaving. I'm just about to get up and head back inside when the door opens. "There you are," its Becca, "what are you doing out here by yourself Quentin?" she asks. "You're always so mysterious." She is oddly cheerful, like she is actually concerned about me. Obviously she wants something from me and unfortunately, I'm about to hear what it is. I'm sure it's something about Margo. No doubt Becca thinks I am in contact with her, lots for people do. I mentally fortify myself for the onslaught. "Hey Becca," I begin. "I'm just sitting here by myself for a little while, I have to leave soon, I have work tomorrow." "That sucks," she answers as she sits next to me on the steps, which is totally unnerving because,1: She is, in my view, the personification of evil, and 2: she is unbelievably hot. "So, no girlfriend tonight Q?" She continues with the chitchat. "She's with her family at her beach house," I tell her, keeping the information to a minimum. She turns toward me a little and leans forward so I have a clear view of the assets which instantly makes me think of Lacey's disparaging _Becca and her big tits_ description. I smile a little as I recall Lacey spitting that out the other day in my room, and Becca says, "What are you smiling at?" Again, off balance I just blurt out, "you sitting here talking to me Becca, that's never happened before." "That's Margo's fault Quentin, she never said anything, but it was crystal clear that you were strictly off limits. You were always so mysterious, I thought it was cute," She replies, leaning in just a tad closer for effect. It's working too…sorta, she is trying to disarm me and her tactics are having the desired effect. I'm still wary though because I've seen Becca Arrington in action before, she is mean and calculating. "Q," she says, again like she invented my nickname. It was Margo who was the originator of my nickname. One day, when we were kids, she just started calling me Q. I loved it the instant I heard it and still do. "I really screwed something up, really bad, I feel terrible about it and you're the only one who can help me," she says. OMG I'm thinking, whatever this is, I don't want any part of it. I don't say anything, she is waiting for me to ask her what this horrid thing is, but I don't, I just look at her and wait for her to continue. "Lacey," she says, "I did something terrible to Lacey, it was a rotten thing to do and I can't undo it. I really regret it, I feel terrible and want to apologize but I know she despises me and will never speak to me." "I know she is mad at you, but I never asked for the details, none of my business and all of that stuff," I reply to Becca. I do however, know the entire story. It happened the night I spent at the Minimall by myself, hoping against hope to find something that would lead me to Margo. Later, I went to Becca's after prom party at 4:00 AM to retrieve my inebriated friends and I found Lacey sitting in a bathtub. It was the first time Lacey and I really talked, she explained in detail how Becca humiliated her in front of everyone at the party. "Quentin," she continues, "I know how close you and Lacey have become, I'm hoping you could talk to her, tell her how sorry I am. If I could just talk to her I could explain what happened. I was mad at Margo, mad at Lacey for telling Margo what was going on and I was really drunk when it happened. I really do want to make it right between Lacey and myself." "I dunno Becca," I reply, "she is really mad at you, I can say something to her, but I wouldn't expect much." "Oh…come on Q," she quips. "I've seen your work. You arranged the whole Ben and Lacey thing and look how that turned out. You got those assholes to pay those kids for their trashed bikes. You and your friends figured out all of Margo's stupid clues and found her, I'm asking you to please work your magic for me." As she says this she turns toward me more, leaning in even closer so the assets are pressed against my arm. "Ok Becca, I promise I will give it a go," I tell her as I stand up. Becca does as well and pulls her phone out of her back pocket, "what's your number?" I give it to her, she punches it into her phone and sends me a text. "Thanks Q," she says, then gives me a suggestive hug and a kiss on the cheek. She turns and heads back to the party, when she gets to the door she turns again and says, "Bye Q, don't work too hard tomorrow," then disappears into the party.

WTF! I gotta get outta here right now. I realize that I've been standing frozen in place on the front porch steps of the Worthington estate for God knows how long. I instinctively walk down the steps, along the driveway and through the faux entrance onto the sidewalk. I take a couple of steps, then just sit on the curb. No one will find me here, I say to myself. I'll just wait until Ben and Lacey or Radar and Angela start texting me when they are leaving. Once again I am the righter of wrongs, duly appointed by our departed Queen, a post I wish was held by someone else. There is one thing Becca said that sticks in my mind though, that I was "off limits." I know better than to believe a word Becca said to me, but that statement is consistent with Lacey's theory about Margo. Margo is gone and she's never coming back, and I'm learning not to dwell on this stuff. That party was boring for me tonight, I did enjoy this last one though, what was the difference? While I sit on the curb, waiting for my friends to leave, the answer slowly become apparent, Lucy. Last time I was here, Lucy was here. At the time she was still Lucy, friend of Angela, but looking back on it something was already going on between us only I was to stupid to notice. Thank God she is persistent. I'm smiling a goofy smile thinking about those days before the JPark pool party. If Lucy was here with me, we'd be in the middle of the party right now having a blast just being with each other. I feel better just thinking about being…"QUENTIN"…hearing my name snaps me out of my thoughts. "Q," what the heck are you doing sitting in the gutter, are you Ok? I look up to see a gigantic, black SUV stopped on the street, the passenger window is down but no one is sitting in that seat, the driver is doing the talking but I can barely see the driver. "Really, Q, are you Ok…too much Natty Light tonight?" It is a female voice, but I have no idea to whom it belongs, so I get up and walk to the open window which is a foot higher than the window of any other set of wheels ever built. "You look lost Quentin, do you need a ride?" Ashley, the waitress from Vinny's, the girl who knows me but I don't know how she does is behind the wheel. "Oh hi Ash," I say, pleasantly surprised to see her. I didn't recognize you without your Vinny's uniform," I say trying to make a little joke. "Yeah she says, that happens to me a lot, I gotta get another job," she says. "I live in Jefferson Park, I tell her, are you headed anywhere near there?" "No kiddin Q," she replies, a note of sarcasm in her voice, "I've heard of the place…get in." Great, I'm in luck I realize, I'm outta here, so I open the door to get in this monstrosity. It is so high that there is a retractable step that comes out when you open the door. I climb into the passenger seat, the inside is huge, and it is luxurious. "Wow Ashley, what a ride, what kind of car is this." "It's a Suburban," she tells me, "it's my mom's, but I really like driving it. You're up so high you can see everything," she adds. I look in the back again and realize that it is significantly larger than my minivan. Well, it's cool, that's for sure, don't they drive the President around in one of these?" She doesn't say anything, she just laughs. I fish my phone out of my pocket and send a group text.

Today, 11:30 PM

Lace, Radar, Benners: I got a ride home, I have to work tomorrow, have fun tonight.

"I had to text my friends and tell them I got a ride home so they aren't looking for me." "I like your friends Quentin, or to be precise, I like waiting on you and your friends when you come into the restaurant," she says. "You are all nice to me and treat me like a person, not a servant. Plus, you're a good tipper Q. That's the surefire way to a waitress's heart," she adds as she places her hand on my elbow for a few moments. I was talking to your squad for a couple of minutes right before I left, they did ask me if I saw you anywhere, but that was before I found you in the gutter," she says with a smirk on her face. I laugh at her little joke / jab. We continue to drive, she must live somewhere near Jefferson Park as we are heading in that general direction. We are out of the neighborhood streets, there are more streetlights now and I can see Ashley better as she pilots the giant SUV. Another pretty girl with long legs driving me home, I say to myself. She looks so much different tonight, I've only ever seen her at Vinny's wearing her black pants, black shirt and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She is wearing a shoulderless white top, cut off denim jeans shorts and sneakers. These tops seem to be quite popular now, it is clinging to her figure and very flattering. She turns her head and looks at me a few times while she is driving, neither of us are saying anything. Suddenly she turns and says to me, "you're zoning out again…what are you thinking about Quentin?" Which catches me off guard so I just laugh a little at the question. "Not much really Ash, I was thinking how much different you look tonight, I've only ever seen you at Vinny's, you look…nice." I say to her. "Thanks Q, that's better than a good tip," she replies, laughing as she says it. "Turn right at the second light, I say to her, "it's not too far from there." She turns and looks at me, puzzled. "Really Q? I'm certain that I remember how to get home, I didn't drink much tonight either."

We continue and just as I'm about to tell her to turn onto our street she flips on the turn signal and wheels onto our street. How does she know my street, is she clairvoyant? Now I'm the one with the question mark on my face because she looks at me again and says, "Oh my God, you don't know where I live do you?" How could I possibly know that, I'm thinking, but I answer, "no Ashley, do you live in Jefferson Park?" "Oh my God," she says again, you really don't know do you?" She is laughing harder now as we drive down our street, around the bend and she pulls into my driveway. I'm dumbfounded. She drove me right to my house, I must have the dumbest look on my face and I can see that Ashley is really enjoying my confusion. She looks right at me, and says, "come with me," as she gets out of the Suburban. I don't know what to say, so I just get out and follow her as she walks between our house and Speigelman's and into my back yard. I'm about 3 steps behind her wondering what the hell she is doing. Finally she stops and points to a house on the adjacent Cul de Sac almost directly behind ours and says, "there…I live there Quentin." Then she turns toward me and puts her hands on her hips, she is smiling a wry smile. "No," I say. "You live behind me…how can I not know that? I have to be the dumbest dumbass you've ever encountered." That's what I say, but not what I'm thinking. What I'm thinking is Ashley is cute, really cute. Also, she is laughing her ass off. "Really," I say, that's your house…how long have you lived there? "Only 16 years and 6 months, thanks for noticing me Q." She is still laughing though, "You are a dumbass Quentin," she says, "but you're a cute dumbass." She grabs my hand and says "I gotta go Q, I'm supposed to be home by 12," as she pulls me back toward the driveway. She climbs up the step and into the Suburban, starts the motor then she looks at me and says, "Quentin, I'm having a bunch of my friends at my house on Monday, do you think you would want to come? I know we're all younger than you but I promise it will be fun." "Yea Ash, Monday…I'd like to come for a little while…obviously, I won't need directions," I say smiling. "I suppose you won't, but just in case, what's your number?" she asks as she pulls her phone out of the back pocket of her impossibly short cut off denim shorts. I recite the number and she keys it in and sends me a text, the second one I've received tonight, I realize. "I'll text you Monday," she says and closes the door. "Hey Ashley?" She runs the window part way down. "Thanks for the ride home." She looks at me, gives me the giant eye roll and says, "Goodnight Q." Then she backs out of the driveway and heads down the street. Again I stand frozen in place. As I watch her disappear around the bend, the only thing I can think about is how hot she looked in those shorts. Finally, I turn and look at Woody for some guidance, he is not faring well in the Florida sun. "Woody, why didn't you tell me that Ashley lives in the Cul de Sac behind our house?" Shockingly, Mr. Guthrie has no response.

I quickly retreat to my inner sanctum, hop in the rack, turn off the light and check my phone.

There are responses to my group text:

Benners: I hope it was one of those hot honeybunnys that are always crushing on you.

Lacey: Don't forget that we are all going out for dinner tomorrow. I'll text you.

Radar: Somebody else is driving? At least you'll be home before dawn.

Q: Not a slow driver, just prudent.

Benners: So's my grandad.

Read 12:07 AM

I'm certain that I'll be roasted big time when I tell everyone how I got home. It seems as though I have a knack for getting in the middle of weird stuff. I have work tomorrow and I'm tired but I can't sleep because I can't wait to see that 1000 watt smile on my 3"x 5" phone screen. She hasn't been far from my thoughts all day. I have been receiving a steady stream of snaps, but I can't wait to see her, even if it only is on FaceTime.

The buzzing of my phone shakes me out of my slumber, it's 12:59, I accept the call. "I've been waiting all day and all night…"there she is smiling, the full 1000 watts…"for that smile," I tell her. "I've spent the whole day saving it up just for you Q," she quickly replies. I saw Kyra's post, how was the party?" "It sucked. I was so bored I left early and got a ride home with a kid from our neighborhood. I was trying to figure out why the last party was so much fun, and this one was boring," I say. "What was different about it? You guys looked like you were all having fun, it was cool to see everyone together." she says. "It was fun for a little while," I explain, "but after a while I was bored, probably because I wasn't drinking and everyone else was." "That will do it," Lucy replies. "I wasn't having fun because you were there last time and you weren't there this time Lucy." She is smiling now. "That's sweet Q but we only talked a little that night," she replies. "That's true Lucy, but I realized that you were flirting with me and I really liked it, even though it took me a little while to figure it out. When I went home that night I was thinking how much I enjoyed that a pretty girl was flirting with me," I tell her. "So, anyway, I'm bored and I miss you so I went outside and sat on the front steps, waiting for Radar and Angela. While I was there, Becca Arrington came out and asked me to talk to Lacey for her." "Really?" Lucy says, "what the heck…I thought she hated you guys?" "She does," I tell her," but that didn't stop her from asking me to do something for her, she is selfish and calculating." "What are ya gonna do?" Lucy quickly replies. "Not sure Lucy, but I don't want to talk about this, I want to talk about you," I tell her, "I'll tell you the whole story later." "Did you tell Lacey?" "No waaaay, not yet anyway. I have to tell her though, I just didn't want to do it at the party, that's why I got out of there early," I explain.

"I'm loving your steady stream of snaps Lucy, they keep me smiling," I tell her. Lucy has been bombarding me with snaps of everything that she is doing at the beach during the day. I dutifully reply to all of them, but it is great to see her all day. "It sure seems like there are a lot of people there," I add. "There are various and assorted Hanrattys, and they're all here as of today,", she replies. It's pretty crazy, but fun. My cousins are growing up and that's cool, they are fun to hang with now that they are a little older," she tells me. I reply, "so you're the elder statesman of the cousins?" "I am…or something like that. I'm the go to person for everything around here," she adds. "Tell me about it," I quickly reply which makes her laugh. "Yeah Q, you do have some experience in this area. Anyway, it's like a circus around here, people coming and going, kids running around all over the place. They're on the beach, then they're at the pool, we're all trying to keep an eye on the younger ones. All of my Aunts and Uncles are partying most of the day and all night, they are having a blast. I feel like I'm working this weekend, this is literally the only time I have to myself. The little girls are so cute, but I never have a minute's peace, they all want me to play with them or do something with them. It is great to have the whole family here but I can't wait until Thursday when they've all gone home and things return to normal around here." She continues to tell me about everything that is happening at the beach and I'm laying in bed watching and listening to her as she describes the details of the last couple of days. I don't say anything, I realize that I'm really enjoying listening to her talk, watching her facial expressions, her smile and those mesmerizing pale green eyes. I'm reminded that there is only one other person to whom I loved to listen when she talked. It's just another reason why I really…really like this girl. "Quentin?" Lucy breaks my train of thought. "You're still coming next week aren't you?" "What?" I reply. "Sunday, you're still coming aren't you?" "Only if I'm alive Lucy, if I'm dead I don't think I'll be able to make it. Nothing short of that will keep me from coming to see you next week," I tell her. The 1000 watt smile is on full display now. "Lucy," I'm dead serious now, this might be a little too much, but I don't care, I'm telling her how I feel. "I really miss just being with you. I love just listening to you talk. When we spent that weekend hanging out, I really liked how we were together and I want more. I want more of you making fun of me, I want more of you driving me in your Volvo, I want more of you and I talking and laughing. I'm laying in bed and I wish you were here with me, I damn sure want more of that." "Quentin Jacobsen," she says, flashing her wicked grin, "when you get here you're gonna get more of everything. We are gonna have more fun than any two people are allowed." "I love your wicked little grin Lucy, but what I really want is to just be with you." I tell her. "That's what I want too," she replies. She is smiling as she talks and I find myself once again enjoying her voice as she returns to telling me everything she has been doing. We continue on for a long time…until we both fall asleep.

Next thing I know it is 7:55 Saturday morning, I have three hours of work to endure, then I have nothing to do but hang with my friends. I feel great, I slept like a baby, I had a great talk with Lucy last night, and…on Sunday, high noon, I have a "date" with Margo. What could possibly go wrong? I say to myself. The obvious answer to that question is everything…if you're me. I check my phone, there is a text.

3:13 AM

Lucy: Miss you more.

I find myself sitting on the edge of my bed, with a dopey smile on my face. I'm staring at the message but I'm thinking about Lucy. The _miss you / miss you more_ has become a little thing with us. I never had a little thing with a girl before. Not sure how long I've been daydreaming, but I notice that it is now 8:32. I fly into the bathroom. Once again, my quick change skills bail me out, I'm ready to roll in 15 minutes. I fly out of the house fire up my minivan and head for work. I'll be right on time. While I'm driving I think that I should man up and stop being such a sap. I do really like Lucy but really, I gotta get a grip. I arrive at work just in time. I'm manning the reception desk and answering phones so the three hours fly by in what seems to me to be about one minute. The office is closed until Thursday, so everyone is out of there quickly. Only my dad and I are left. I walk back to his office and he says, "I have a little work to do so I'll lock up. You can get out of here Quentin, I'll see you later." "Thanks dad, I'll see you at home," I tell him and I'm out of there.

I'm driving on our street toward our house, around the bend and there it sits in all of its glory. Rhapaw, Ben's 90's era stationwagon, parked in our driveway…and they make fun of my car, I think as I park. I go in through the garage and my mom is in the kitchen. "Ben and Radar are here Quentin." "Ok, thanks mom," I reply as I head for my room. I open the door and they are already playing GTA. "Do I know you people? Why are strangers in my room?" I ask.

"Bro," Ben says as he stops the game. "Who drove you home last night?" How come you left early? Everybody was looking for you." "I doubt that anyone was looking for me," I quickly reply. Radar is grinning now, "not just anyone Q, it was the president of the Quentin Jacobsen fan club," he says. "My mom was at the party?" I fire back, "she's not much of a drinker," l add. They both get a kick out of that one, but it sets up Ben for the inevitable "yeah but your mom is still smokin hot Bro." I never got this weird/creepy older women thing with Ben, but now that he is makeover / boyfriend Ben, I really don't understand it. "Dude," I say to Ben, "your girlfriend, who is crazy in love with you, is literally the hottest 18 year old girl on the planet. What is frickin wrong with you?" "The fact that I have the best girlfriend ever…and I do…doesn't change the fact that your mom is hot Bro," he says. "That's just wrong," Radar says. What's gonna happen when you and Lacey are 40? Will you be ogling 65 year old women then?" I pile on…"Yea dude, you'll be crushing on them for their social security checks." Radar and I high five, it's back to the past, the recent past anyway, the three of us are in my room, playing a video game, roasting Ben and all is right in the world.

Ben changes the subject back to the party, "No… really Q…how did you get home, I hope you didn't walk all the way from Jase's," he says. I tell them I got a ride home from a kid in our neighborhood, which is true, but that is not appeasing them. Radar says, "stop trying to change the subject Q, we saw Ashley, the waitress from Vinny's, actually she saw us, and all she wanted to know is…"where's Q, is he here with you guys? It took me a minute to realize who it was, I've only ever seen her in her waitress uniform, she is a really pretty girl," Radar says. "Tru dat Bro," Ben says to Radar, "she is smokin hot and crushing on the Q," he adds. Radar continues, She is really nice, she was talking to Angela and Lacey first, then Ben and I, she just looked…different." "Yea dude, and hotter too" Ben adds. "Did she find you?" Radar asks me. "That's not the right question," I say to them, channeling Margo. The right question is who else was looking for me, found me and how weird was it?" Ben and Radar are looking at each other with quizzical looks on their faces, but Radar suddenly figures it out. "Becca Arrington," Radar says. "You are correct Mr. Lincoln," I say, trying to mimic a game show announcer voice. "Would you like to stop here and keep your prize, or do you want to risk it all on the next question?" "I'll risk it all!" Radar enthusiastically replies, playing along while Ben has a WTF, how did he know the answer look on his face. I continue in announcer voice. "You have 30 seconds, double or nothing, here is the next question. Becca asked me to do something for her. Can you correctly identify the request?" Radar answers; "she thinks you know where Margo is and she wants you to tell her." "Ahnnnnnnnnnnt," I attempt to make the sound similar to the buzzer at a basketball game to indicate an incorrect response. "Mr. Starling," would you like to steal the question?" I continue in announcer voice. "She wants to cover your pale, skinny bod with baby oil and rub it in with her awesome boobs," he shouts. "Ahnnnnnnnnnt" again I make the buzzer noise, but the three of us are laughing at Ben's wisecrack. "She wants you to help her steal candy from small children?" Radar says. More laughter. "She wants you to help her drown puppies?" Ben adds. "No," I reply still laughing. "Becca wouldn't need much help with either of those." "Tru dat…come on Q, what did she want?" Ben is dying to know now. "Well Ben, you will be interested to know that she asked me to talk to Lacey for her…her actual words were… _I'm asking you to work your magic for me._ "Good luck with that one bro," Ben says. "That's what I said to her too," I reply to Ben. "Oh man," Ben continues, "wait till I tell Lacey this one, her head might explode." I laugh, but not too much as I realize that Lacey might take my head off when she sees me. "Where is Lacey anyway." I ask Ben. She went to the airport to pick up her aunt, uncle and cousin," he answers. "Oh yeah," I reply. "I completely forgot about that. We're all doing something later?" raising my voice inflection to form the question. "Q," Ben says, changing the subject. "Will you drive tonight? Everyone will fit in your car." "Oh…sure…now it's not a POS minivan is it?" I say, adding, "and we won't hear any Q is a lousy driver jokes tonight, will we?" Ben and Radar both reply in their patented, not quite simultaneous manner, "umm yeah…yup…we'll hear a lot of that…we sure will."

"Ok, so here's the plan bro," Ben continues, "you pick me up, we'll go to Lacey's and get them. Radar is gonna pick up Angela then we'll stop at Radar's house to get them." "Are we going to show Lacey's cousin the Guinness Book of World Records Plaque?" I quip, to Ben's delight. "Haha…uhh no, not gonna happen," Radar says. It is just about the only thing we can tease him about. He is so much smarter and quicker than Ben and I that we never really have anything else with which to roast him. My guess is that he can't wait to get to Dartmouth and leave ground zero for black Santas behind. Lucky for him Angela, who is terrific, thinks it's cute, instead of thinking this guy's family is weird. "And then we're going…?" I leave it hang to form the question. "Dunno guys, they have it all planned. As soon as I find out I'll text you," Ben says. On cue, his phone buzzes, Lacey has procured her relatives at the airport and is on the way home. Ben gets up to leave which unleashes a torrent of insults from Radar and I. "You know Q, it takes quite a bit of time to make sure that your outfit matches up just right," Radar says. "I know what you mean Radar, I spend so much time making sure that my tony, no tuck shirt matches my freshly pressed Bermuda shorts." Radar continues, "then I struggle to choose just the right shade of fashion sneakers to accent my shirt." Ben is heading for the door as we continue to roast him. "And Radar, do you have any idea how hard it is to get my hair parted and combed just right?" "Why no I don't Quentin, but I'm sure it takes just as long as it does to pick out the right sunglass frames to coordinate my outfit." By this time Ben has opened the door and he turns around and says to both of us, "keep it up, I really don't care. Lacey likes it and she is way hotter than you two dopes. Come to think of it, she is way hotter than…everybody." With that he closes the door and goes, leaving Radar and I looking at each other until I say, "he's probably right," Radar instantly replies "damn straight," as he resumes the game. We continue to play GTA for another hour or so until It's time for Radar to leave.

After Radar leaves I realize that I managed to get by without telling them how I got home last night, which is why they came here in the first place. The whole Becca tale distracted them to the point that they forgot about my mystery ride home. I haven't heard from Lucy all day, I realize. I guess she's busy with the family. I shoot her a quick text.

3:44 PM

Q: Hey

A few minutes go by until she replies.

Lucy: Hey yourself. FaceTime tonight, late?

Q: Can't wait to see your smile. Keep trying until I wake up.

Lucy: You know I will.

Read 3:47 PM

I always feel a little better just hearing from her. I have nothing to do for a few hours, I'm kinda hungry so I wander out to our kitchen to see what's in the fridge. My dad isn't home but my mom is here somewhere and when she hears me open the refrigerator door she appears in the kitchen. "Are you hungry Quentin?" she asks, proceeding to rattle off all of the things we have or she can make for me. "No thanks mom, I'm just looking for a little snack, settling on some leftover mac and cheese that I nuke in the microwave. "What are you doing for the holiday weekend?" she asks me. "Lacey's cousin is in town, we're going somewhere tonight, but I'm not sure exactly where. "They are going to text me later, I'm driving because there are six people." I explain. "That's nice Quentin, you and your friends seem to be enjoying the summer," she adds. "We are," I tell her. Before the chit chat turns into the Inquisition, I change the subject. "Hey mom, do you know the people who live in that house?" I'm pointing to Ashley's house, not unlike she did last night. "It's the one right behind ours on the other Cul de Sac." She walks over to the sliding door to the deck to see where I'm pointing. "The Ramseys live there, they moved in right around the time we did, maybe a little before, why do you ask?" Nothing really mom, just wondering," I say hoping that will suffice, but it doesn't. "Quentin, there's got to be more to it than _just wondering,_ why do you want to know?" My mom can be persistent, resistance is futile sometimes, so I tell her about Ashley, who waitresses at Vinny's and lives right behind us but I didn't know her last name. I leave out the part about having no idea that she was our neighbor, getting a ride home with her last night or that she was wearing the shortest cutoff jeans shorts I've ever seen. I see her mom from time to time, her name is Michelle, I didn't realize her oldest was your age, they seem very nice." she says. "She's a little younger, she'll be a junior when school starts," I tell her. Time to bail on this conversation I realize, so I tell my mom I have to clean out my car, get gas, and get ready for wherever it is we are going. "Ok Quentin, have fun with your friends and drive safely," she says. "Apparently, I'm well known for my safe driving skills," I reply as I head for my room.

Hmmmm…Ashley Ramsey…I'm back in the inner sanctum now. I didn't realize I was surrounded by hot girls, Margo living next to me and Ashley living behind me. Maybe there are others close by, I say to myself. Perhaps I should canvass the neighborhood in an attempt to uncover additional hot babes heretofore unknown to me. While I'm thinking about that I grab my car keys as I decide I should actually do what I told my mom I was going to do. I haven't done a thing to my car since I picked it up at the body shop a couple of weeks ago. I begin to empty the trash, partially filled water bottles, empty soda and Gatorade bottles, fast food wrappers and bags. Geez, I think, what a mess, the car looked great a few weeks ago. The trash is all unloaded and I'm off to get some gas. There is an automatic car wash here and I run mine through, getting the cheapest wash available after which I spend a buck in quarters putting the powerful car vacuum to good use. Sometime during the operation of the car vacuum, noisy enough to wake the dead, I got a text from Ben with my marching orders.

Today 4:46 PM

Benners: pick me up at six, bro.

Q: Will do, where are we going?

Benners: I'll fill you in when you get here.

Read 4:55 PM

My car is clean, full of gas and good to go, and I'm on my way home to shower and change. Although it is a short drive home I start thinking about what we are doing tonight. We're going somewhere for dinner, Ben and his gorgeous girlfriend, Radar and his incredibly cute girlfriend and myself…and Lacey's cousin Avery. I don't know much about her other than her name, she is from New Jersey, and Lacey assured me that I would like her. I'm sure this will be fun, but it would be so much more so if Lucy was going with me. I'm back at my house and ready to go in short order, on my way to get Ben as directed.

I arrive at Casa Starling right around six, and boyfriend Ben emerges in all his glory, trendy haircut, untucked shirt with the sleeves rolled just right, freshly pressed khaki shorts, matching sneakers and the ever present Ray-Ban shades. Made over to Lacey's specifications, he actually looks pretty good, I concede. He gets in the car and says, "ok, let's go get the girls," and we're on our way to Lacey's house. "Where are we going tonight?" I ask. "We're going to the Black Bean Cafe, the one in Colonial Town, not the Winter Park one. Avery wants to go for Cuban food," he tells me. "I'm good with that but I've never been there, do you know where it is?" I reply. "Yea, sorta," he answers. "What is Avery like?" I ask him. "Bro, words can't describe her," he says. Well, that covers a lot of ground I say to myself. Soon enough we are in front of the gate at Lacey's condo complex, and Ben texts her to say we are here.

The gate swings open and Lacey and Avery emerge. If this was a movie scene we would cue the heavy metal music, the backlit dry ice fog and the girls walking in slo mo. Avery is a taller, blonder, (I know, not a word) and hotter version of Lacey. They are both dressed in shoulderless tops, tight, short denim skirts and really high wedge high heels. Their perfectly coiffed hair is flowing as they walk toward the car. I'm turned toward Ben…speechless. "Like I said Q, there are no words." "Hooooollllyy shi…" I just let it hang, Ben is right, there are no appropriate words.

Avery Jocelyn Pemberton, age 20, 2015 graduate of the swanky Dwight Englewood Day School, Englewood, NJ, grades K through 12, and soon to be junior at the NYU Leonard N. Stern School of Business Honors Program. She looks more like Lacey's sister than her first cousin, obviously those Pemberton genes are dominant. Her father, Lacey's uncle is some big deal money guy on Wall Street and Avery is well on the way to following in her father's footsteps. All of this information has subsequently been provided by Ben, but I don't know the details of her biography yet. What I do know is that I've never been close to a girl like Avery Pemberton before.

The girls reach the car, Lacey opens the sliding door and gets in, Ben jumps out of the front passenger seat and into the back with Lacey, Avery opens the door and gets in the passenger seat, her toned, taut legs appear to me to be so long that she will be unable to fit in the car. She turns and looks into the back of the minivan, looks at Lacey and asks, "this is it? Lacey replies in the affirmative. She then turns to me and says, "cool…room for everybody. Hi Quentin, I'm Avery." I attempt to speak but apparently that is impossible when your jaw has dropped to the floor. Finally, I am able to eek out a feeble "hi." Avery smiles, turns to Lacey and says, "you're right…he is cute. Then she looks at me and says "drive on Quentin." I put the car in gear and head to Radar's house. We're there in no time, Radar and Angela are waiting outside for us no doubt to minimize the amount of time we are close to the Guinness Book of Word Records verified _World's Largest Collection of Black Santas._ They get in the car, introductions are made as they climb into the third row of seats and now we're on the way to the Black Bean Cafe. I glance at at Ben in the rear view, "which way Benners?" "I-4 towards town, 2 exits," which doesn't seem right to me but I follow his directions. We get to the I-4 on-ramp and it instantly reminds me of that night in Lucy's Volvo, particularly, her expert handling of the Volvo. In an attempt to squelch all of the _Q is the slowest driver in Florida under 75 jokes,_ I enter the sharply curving on-ramp exceeding the recommended speed of 25 MPH by about 5 MPH, tires screeching and the minivan leaning precariously as we circle the ramp. It straightens out as we approach the highway, I check my mirror for traffic then punch the throttle of the Ford. The engine immediately roars to life but unlike Lucy's powerful S60R, and to the absolute delight of Radar and Ben, the minivan anemically lurches forward as we barely gain the speed needed to merge into traffic. A quick check of my inside rear view finds Ben and Radar dying laughing at me, Lacey and Angela have surprised looks on their faces. I'm afraid to look at Avery because…I'm kinda afraid of her. Ben blurts out, "what a piece of crap," and from the third row Radar says, "Geez Q, what got into you? Aren't you the poster boy for prudent driving?" he says which makes everyone laugh. "I'm a rebel," I reply which makes them all laugh more. I sneak a peek at Avery who is looking right at me. "Don't listen to them Quentin, your car is cool," she says and follows it with a fist bump. "Don't humor him Avery, it only makes him worse," Radar shouts from row three. "Yea, Avery," Ben chimes in, "take it from those of us who drove two thousand miles with him, his driving sucks." Mercifully, we reach the Colonial Town exit and everyone's attention turns to where we are going. Directions from Ben get us there, a trendy looking spot on the corner of Colonial Road and a side street. We pull in but there does not appear to be any parking spaces. The valet parking kid comes up to my window and tells me what I've already surmised, that we'll have to find a spot on the street. I'm about to do so when Avery hops out of the van walks around the front and starts talking to the kid. Once he gets a look at Avery he is wide eyed and frozen in place and in a minute or so he is pointing to an open parking spot right in front of the entrance, no doubt reserved for anybody but us. She gets back in the car, "park right there Quentin" then looks back at everyone and says, "my Spanish is obviously much better than I thought." I park where she pointed, we all get out of the minivan absolutely amazed, and head for the entrance. As we are walking in, Lacey says to me, "that's my cousin."

Into the Black Bean Cafe we go, Avery leading the way to the spot where the _Please wait to be seated_ sign is posted. Momentarily, someone appears and I hear "Avery Pemberton, party of six." "We have your table ready, we've been expecting you, Ms. Pemberton," is the reply from the Maitre'd. We are all in various stages of awe as Avery is in command of the situation. Everybody except Lacey, she is used to her cousin taking charge and is enjoying our reaction.

The waiter appears and asks us about drinks. Avery quickly responds "Mojitos para todos, por favor." "Si señorita Pemberton," the waiter replies as he does an about face and heads for the bar. "I hope everyone likes Mojitos," Avery cheerfully says. Lacey is looking at me with a knowing smile on her face, she has seen Avery in action many times I expect. I'm sitting at one end of the table and Avery is to my left. I lean over and whisper to her, "we're all only 18." Avery replies in a stage whisper, "they don't know that…unless you tell them Q." Everyone erupts in laughter at the well timed barb, myself included. Plus, she called me by my nickname. I always smile when people call me Q, no matter who says it, I'm always reminded of Margo.

All of this has set a great mood that holds throughout the evening. The waiter returns with our drinks, we all order different Cuban dishes, the stories begin to flow and the laughter continues over dinner, more Mojitos and dessert. The stories are spread evenly among all of us, but the laughter is directed mostly at me, culminating in Ben's exaggerated recounting of how I almost got hit by a car walking home from Lacey's house, and the people who almost hit me then drove me home. Listening to Ben tell the story makes it even more funny, and I find myself laughing like I'm hearing it for the first time even though it happened to me. Avery doesn't say too much, she seems content to take in all of the tales and laugh along with the rest of us. We're probably making a little bit more noise than we should, and perhaps we linger a little longer than we should, but no one bothers us except the occasional appearance of the waiter to see if anyone needs anything. We are completely relaxed and having a terrific time, but it suddenly dawns on us that it is probably time to go. Radar says, "this was great, now what are we going to do?" "Lacey quickly replies, "I know a great place we can have all to ourselves, we can hang at the deck by the pool." Everyone is looking at each other because the waiter never returned with the check. Avery stands and says "Ok, let's bounce" and turns to head for the door. We all stand up and follow her, Radar and I are looking at each other, I'm beginning to wonder if this is a dine and dash stunt, which also reminds me of Margo. The Maitre'd sees Avery and says, "Gracias, Señorita Pemberton, venga otra vez." Then to us in English, "Thank you, come again soon." as we walk out the door. I catch up with Lacey as we are walking toward the car and before I can say anything Lacey responds, "Avery made all of the arrangements for tonight, I never argue with her." Left unsaid is don't you question her either, I realize.

We get back in the minivan and head for Lacey's. I decide that the surface streets will be better than the interstate so we are winding through a section of Orlando on the way to Lacey's house. I feel compelled to say something to Avery about the dinner, I turn to her and say, "we all really enjoyed that Avery, thanks for arranging everything." "You're welcome Q," she replies. "It was a fun dinner." We quickly arrive at Lacey's house, disembark from the van and head through the gate to Lacey's condo. The sun is just setting and it's going to be another warm summer night in Orlando, just like the night of the JPark pool party. Sitting by Lacey's pool for the balance of the night should be a lot of fun, based on the way the night has been going. The JPark pool party makes me think about Lucy, she would have loved this night. I'm having fun, but I really miss her, I realize. We go through the condo, out through the sliding door onto the deck and down the steps to the pool. We group some chairs and tables together by the pool, which we have all to ourselves. Lacey has snagged Ben and soon they appear carrying all kinds of snacks, healthy veggie dip snacks for Lacey, Angela, and Avery. Ben has guy snacks, chips, pretzels and Doritos with salsa dip for us. Lacey leaves and returns with wine glasses and another bottle of _killer wine,_ otherwise known as Pinot Grigio. Seeing the size of that bottle reminds me that Lacey and I drank an entire bottle of that ourselves, no wonder I wandered into traffic last week. She hands me the bottle and the corkscrew, instantly attracting the attention of Ben and Radar, who are snickering, waiting to pounce when I fail to master the corkscrew technology. I take the device from Lacey, "no problem Lace," I say, but it's not for her it's for my best buddies who are anticipating a major fail. I peel off the cover around the top of the bottle, flash them a wry smile, then I deploy and successfully operate the cork extraction device in a smooth and effortless manner…like I've done it my whole life. "Who wants some killer wine," I say to the delight of everybody. They remain undeterred. "Geez Q…first you deliberately exceed the speed limit, then you open a wine bottle without hurting yourself, what's next?" Radar says. "Running with scissors," Ben adds, everybody is laughing at me again. "Lacey, do you have scissors? Bring them out here. Later tonight Q is gonna run laps around the pool holding a scissors." I'm laughing along with everyone, it's funny. There is a certain comfort in being teased by your friends.

"Q…give me a hand with something," Avery says as she grabs my hand and pulls me toward Lacey's kitchen. This is borderline terrifying, Avery is complete sensory overload for me. The combination of her incredible hotness and her outsized persona is such that I soon will have to breathe deeply and check my pulse as I did with Margo the night of the retribution tour. Avery has a unique combination of physical beauty, Prep School manners and New Jersey edge that I find both frightening and irresistible at the same time. "What's up Avery?" my feeble voice is cracking like a 13 year old kid whose voice is changing, making me feel like a bigger dope than I already am. "God you're cute," she says mussing my hair like I was her 10 year old nephew. I have a cooler full of Coronas, I need help carrying it out." "No problem Avery," I reply recovering enough to answer in my regular 18 year old voice. She shows me where the cooler is, and I pick it up to head outside, but she says, "Quentin…hold on a second, I have to cut some lemons for the Coronas." _Quentin,_ is intoned exactly as Lacey would when she is about to ask or tell me something serious. I'm frozen in place, I don't know what to expect. Avery is looking at me, sizing me up as she is slicing the lemons and it is unnerving. Finally she says, "What did you guys do to Lacey?" Instantly I'm in full blown panic mode, nobody did anything to Lacey. WTF is she talking about? This chick scares the shit out of me. Apparently, I'm not doing a good job of hiding my emotions or Avery can read minds because she quickly backtracks. "Oh no Q, I didn't mean to imply that you did anything to hurt her, quite the opposite, I've never seen her happier. She is a different person since she met you guys, that's what I meant." Now I feel stupid, I completely misunderstood what Avery was trying to say and she saw right through me. I'm sure she thinks I'm a moron. "Well Avery," I begin, "I didn't know Lacey at all until about 10 weeks ago, but for the short time I've known her she has always been happy, and gracious and a lot of fun. Also, we have become friends. She is a trusted friend, someone I know I can count on and she knows she can count on me as well." Avery smiles a gracious Laceylike smile, "l know Q, I know all about you…and Ben…I know how they met and how a prom date of convenience turned into a full tilt love affair. We're cousins, but we are really like sisters because we only have each other. We talk constantly, we tell each other everything. I've met Margo many times, I know all about you and Margo, how she treated you, and everything you guys went through together trying to find her. I'm happy that Lacey has found the kind of friends she deserves and she is dating a guy who adores her instead of all of the dopes she typically attracted. She is her best version of herself now and I know it's all because of you." Once again, Avery leaves me speechless…and a little embarrassed as well. I can tell Avery senses this so I blurt out, "l'm just getting used to being comfortable around Lacey, it's gonna take me some time to get used to being close to you Avery." She laughs, not a mocking laugh, more like a disarming laugh as she comes right up to me. "Good Lord you are the cutest thing. I won't bite Q," she says as she plants a peck on my cheek, then she grabs my shirt by the collar and yanks me toward her saying, "unless you want me to." She is sporting a wicked smile now, one I've seen before from Lucy. "Let's get back out there before they think we're doing it in the kitchen," she says, which completely cracks me up. I pick up the cooler, she has the sliced lemons on a plate and out we go. As soon as we emerge from the kitchen, Lacey says, "were you two making out in the kitchen?" Ben is snickering and Radar and Angela are laughing, Angela politely covering her mouth to hide her laughter. I put down the cooler and say "get your mind out of the gutter, girl. Is that all you can think about?" I open the cooler to display the icy Corona bottles. "We were cutting lemons for these." Ben says to Avery, "you didn't let him use a sharp knife did you?" "Haha," I reply derisively while in one smooth motion, I reach into the cooler, grab an ice cold bottle and twist off the cap, ready to slug down some cold beer. Only the cap doesn't come off. Everybody is laughing hysterically, Avery is saying, "Q, you know Coronas aren't twist offs, right?" Radar says, "he knows absolutely nothing Avery." Lacey says, "Q, the opener is on the side of the cooler, do you know how to work it?" Ben and Radar are dying now, They both high five Lacey as Ben says, "now you're getting the hang of it Lace." I'm dorking it up big time now, I hold out the bottle and sheepishly say "can I get a non-dorky person to open this please?" More laugher at my expense as Lacey opens the bottle and hands back to me saying, "here you go little boy, is your mom coming for you soon?" "Okay…okay…l give up, I'm doomed," I reply.

I get everyone together and snap a selfie and send it to Lucy with the caption, _after dinner party at Lacey's pool, wish you were here with me_. We have a great time for the rest of the night, more stories, more kidding, more liquor and more fun. After some time has passed and the liquor has kicked in, we all fall silent and take in the warm summer night. Ben and Lacey are snuggled together, Radar and Angela are curled up on a lounge chair, and Avery and I are sitting at the table. No one says anything and I slowly become aware of the ambient sounds around us, muffled sounds of traffic from outside the gate, nocturnal insects singing their tune and the machine hum generated by the pool filter pump. I am once again reminded that the passage of time is suspended for us and temporarily, we have no cares. We are enjoying being with our friends and no one wants to break the spell. At some point, the entrance gate to the condo opens and slams closed. The clank of the steel gate breaks the trance. I have to drive Radar and Angela home so I haven't had a drink for a few hours. The clang of the gate was like an alarm, we all get up and pitch in to clean up all of the snacks and the drinks. I say goodnight to Lacey and Ben, say goodnight and thanks again to Avery and the three of us climb into the van. I'm at Radar's house in no time, and on my way home. I park my car, head into the house and into my room, it is 12:50 AM. That was a great night I'm thinking as I recall all of the things we did tonight. I still don't know what to make of Avery, she kinda scares me, truth be told.

I'm drifting off as I'm startled to alertness by the buzzing of my phone. 1:06 AM, it's Lucy FaceTiming me. I accept the call and she seems surprised. "Whoa…I usually have to call you three or four times to wake you up, what gives? I'm not interrupting anything am l? Is that blonde hiding under the bed while you take this call? she asks. She is attempting to be serious, but the tiniest of smiles is forming at the corner of her mouth. I laugh, but I can play too… "not now Avery…5 times in a row is enough…put your clothes on while I take this call." Lucy's eyes are as wide as I've ever seen them. I got her…for a hot second she bought it, but then her eyes narrow and she exclaims, "Quentin Jacobsen, you BRAT! I don't think I'll ever speak to you again." I can't respond, I'm laughing at her. She might be a tad peeved, but I don't care, it's funny. Finally I recover enough to say, "gotcha…the Great Lucy Hanratty, I finally got one past you, if only for a second." She's all smiles now, I love that 1000 watt smile filling my phone screen. "Okay she says…I guess I had that one coming." "God I miss that smile Lucy, one week from now I'll be leaving for Sea Island, I can't wait to get there," I tell her. "Oh really," she says, "where are you staying? Is tough to book a hotel room on the island in July. Maybe you can find a room at the Holiday Inn Express on I-95, it's only like ten miles or so from the beach." "Oh…so I'm downgraded to the interstate now am I?" "Yup," she quickly replies, it's either that or you can sleep in the storage shed behind our cabana, don't worry about the giant bugs." "I'll take my chances with the giant bugs, it will be worth it." I tell her. "No worries Q, I won't let you sleep with the giant insects, I'm just not gonna let you sleep…much," She quips, displaying her wicked little smile. "Another reason why I can't wait until next Sunday."

"So," she says, "tell me everything about tonight." "It was fun, you would have really enjoyed it." I tell her. "We went to the Black Bean Cafe for dinner, Lacey's cousin made all of the arrangements." "You mean Aaaaverrry," Lucy sarcastically interjects. "Yea, that's her name Lucy, actually she is very nice, but kinda scary," I add. "She doesn't look scary to me," Lucy says, "she looks like a model." "She's not as hot as you Lucy." She lights up my screen with her smile, "Stop it Q, I'm plain and she's the type of girl you're gonna dump me for someday."

"Lucy," I'm emphatic now, "you're the only person who doesn't think you're hot." "Do you remember the weekend we spent together?" I ask, but I don't give her time to answer. "Well I do…that was the best weekend of my life, and that's what I want. I want to hang out with you, talk to you, have you drive me around in your Volvo, hold you close to me, that's what I want. "That's what I want too Quentin," she replies. Next week when you get here that's what we're gonna do, just be together." With that we begin to talk about everything that I did tonight. I tell her about the dinner, Avery ordering Mojitos for all of us in Spanish and paying for everything. Hanging at Lacey's and how everyone was getting on me about everything, and Ben's exaggerated telling of how I almost got hit by a car has become an instant classic. How Lacey's cousin looks like she could be her sister. Just like recent nights past, we continue to talk for hours until we fall asleep.

I'm not sure what time I fell asleep but I wake up and it is almost 11:00. There is a text:

7:22 AM

Lucy: Miss you.

Geez, 7:22 AM? I say to myself. I hope we're not getting up that early next week. I'm certain that Lucy is up early so she can run before the sun is too high in the sky.

Q: Miss you more

Read 10:58 AM

I'm calm, which is weird considering what is supposed to happen in an hour. I do wonder if Margo will be a no show, it's been almost a week since she sent that last e-mail. It's Margo, a million things could have happened between last Tuesday and now. She picked the time and the day however and as she said in her last e-mail, _I know that you will be waiting for it._ Margo knows me better than anyone, she knows I'll be sitting at my computer hoping she contacts me, but I don't care if she is taking me for granted. I'll be sitting at my computer at High Noon, waiting for Margo to e-mail me. I go out to the kitchen, get a glass of OJ and return to my room. I'm staring out of my window, which isn't a window at all but a portal to Margo in my imagination. I'll never lock this window, (not that a locked window would deter her in any way), Margo opened this window last May, nine long years after she told me to close it, and open it will remain. I do wonder what we will "say" to each other, but I am strangely calm, ensuring that a complete debacle is right around the corner. It's a couple of minutes before 12, I click on new message and key in mR and the balance of mRs3324 populates the field. I key in two letters…

 _Hi_

and hit send. Now, I wait. My mind begins to wander back to the night of the retribution tour, those weeks when Margo was gone, I thought she was dead and I was desperate to find her, the trip to Agloe and everything that happened between us. That's where I'm stuck, everything that happened between us in Agloe, it means so much to me, I wonder if it means anything to Margo. I'll probably never know. I am unconditionally in love with her, but I am no longer manic about her, I realize. As I continue to mull over everything that happened with Margo over the last 10 weeks, a message appears in my inbox from mRs3324 . Instantly, I click on it as a jolt of excitement surges through me.

 _Hello Quentin, how are you?_

My heart is racing and my breathing is elevated as I quickly key in my response.

 _Margo…Hi. Words in an e-mail don't do justice to how excited I am to hear from you. Somehow, I know you are ok, and I want to believe that everything is going well for you. For you, I want everything to be as you imagine it. Tell me everything!_

Apparently, I AM still manic about her I realize as I await her response. Several minutes pass, then it appears.

 _I have so much to tell you Quentin, and I can barely wait to tell you everything, but before I do I want you to know that I think about you always and it is important to me that we stay in touch. Living alone in this crazed city, I have come to the realization that I need something that I know is real, something that I know will never change and that there is one thing in this world that I know I can count on. This is selfish on my part, but I know you, who you are and I know I can count on you always._

 _I'm still working every morning at the restaurant, and still living in the barracks although I only sleep there. Also, I'm doing extra work for my boss Bobby, running errands and occasionally doing things at his building where the nightclub is. I've seen some good bands and met a few people, but everyone is so busy here. I'm thankful for the extra work and the free meals I get from Bobby. It is so expensive to live here, I doubt that I would be able to stay very long, let alone save money for traveling without the extra work. I have been diligent with my savings habits and have amassed a small amount of money. I'm pretty good at extracting generous tips from the regulars. I don't have enough money for a laptop, or even a cheap cellphone, but in a way I am glad that I don't, otherwise I might be tempted to call or text people, and follow people on Twitter and Snapchat. The isolation from social media keeps me from getting sucked back in. I find the anonymity to be calming. I do snag Bobby's cellphone from time to time to call Ruthie._

 _When I have my free time, that's the only time I feel like I'm living. I have been all over this city seeing sights great and small, even though I've barely scratched the surface of this incredible place. I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that I have obtained a new, larger notebook so I can chronicle all of my adventures and observations…without having to write over the pages I've already filled. BTW Q, you're featured prominently in the opening portion of the new notebook. Spending time in Central Park has become my favorite thing to do. If you are observant you can really see life, you can see people living. By carefully observing, I feel as though I am living too. Maybe this is what my life is all about, observe those living a great life and writing about it in a creative way. I already know you are going to ask to read my notes, and I am attempting to keep them in such a manner that I can get them to you after I edit them and I'm ready to "release" them. This brings me to an important question. I want us to do it together. Get your mind out of the gutter perv, I'm talking about both of us writing interesting observations about life as we each live it. Then at some point in time we can swap our notes. What do you think about that?_

I have to read through this twice just to make sure I'm getting it the way Margo intended. I don't want to appear dopey in her eyes, even though she is a thousand miles away. So I decide to go for the cheap laugh just to keep it light. I answer:

 _For the record, I am strongly in favor of us doing it together Margo._

She quickly replies:

 _Haha…dillweed._

My turn.

 _I'm talking about me writing a journal…what are you talking about? Seriously, I would love to read what you have written so far, and I'm excited that you are, 1; going to let me read it sooner or later, and 2; willing to read anything that I write. I'd really like to take a crack at writing what I observe in everyday life, just to see if I could make it interesting, but more importantly to be able to share it with you. My life is boring by comparison but I'm anxious to give it a shot._

 _I have a question for you as well because I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Do you remember when we were kids and one day for no apparent reason you started calling me Q?_

I remember every minute of all the time Margo and I ever spent together. I doubt she gives any of it a second thought. Her reply appears instantly.

 _I do. That goes way back to when I thought you were super cool, so you needed a super cool nickname. That's when Q was born._

I reply:

 _So, I'm not super cool now?_

She answers:

 _Ah…yeah, you kinda are, in an awkward, nerdy way. What happened that made you think about that? It was so long ago._

My reply:

 _I loved it when you started calling me Q, and I love it now. Everyone calls me Q, my friends, acquaintances, people I hardly know. Lacey's dad said I was the mystery man with the secret agent nickname. The only person who never calls me Q is my mom. Regardless of who says it, I always smile because it reminds me of you. It's a stupid thing, but it's something between us. You gave it to me and I'll always have it. Just something I've been thinking about lately._

Margo answers, but not the way I expect.

 _See Q, that's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. That's an interesting story about when we were kids and how it relates to your life today. All of these people who call you by your nickname have no idea where it came from or what it means to you, but when they say, "hey Q," it makes you smile. You need to write all of that stuff. Don't let it slip away as time goes by. Then, when we swap our observations and musings about our lives, I get you, and you get me. Feel free to leave out all of the accounts of women who are throwing themselves at you, however remember to regularly mention how much you worship me._

My reply _:_

 _I like that Margo, I like your idea and I'm going to try to write as you suggest, regular mention of Margo adoration will be woven throughout my writings. Our e-mail exchanges are a secret, no one here knows that you and I are in contact. I like having a secret, I feel as though I have you all to myself in a certain way. Have you thought about relocating elsewhere, somewhere less expensive to live? Perhaps you could save more money and you would be able to travel as you wish sooner._

Margo quickly answers:

 _You're about to make a suggestion for a more economical location, aren't you._

You're goddamn right I am, maybe this time she will at least consider it, my reply is simple.

 _I am. Durham, North Carolina. I believe that would be a wonderful place for you to relocate, anytime after August 20th. Or perhaps later, when it gets cold in New York you could make the move._

One thing has changed forever about the way I deal with Margo. I am telling her exactly how I feel and exactly what I want, regardless of the consequences. Anything less than honesty is unfair to both of us.

She replies:

 _Somehow, I knew what you were going to suggest before you actually did. That is a confident Q answer, I marvel at the progress of my creation._

My turn.

 _I'm a rebel, Margo. If I put my mind to it, your cost of living could be zero, or close to it. Then you could rapidly save up money for your adventures wherever they may take you. Durham could be your Secret Rebel Base, location unknown to the Empire. Why would I do that, you ask? The answer is simple Margo, you…I get you, and you get to do the things you want to do. Your support system of one would just be a little closer than it is now._

I have no idea how she will react to my suggestion. What comes next is totally unexpected however.

 _Interesting proposition Quentin…very interesting…a Secret Rebel Base staffed by someone I can count on at all times, allowing me to leave for my travels, but always having a base to which I can return. Let's defer discussion of this topic to a future chat._

I know she's really thinking about it because like others who are close to me, Margo never calls me Quentin unless the topic is serious.

My reply:

 _Ok_

She continues with the unexpected part:

 _I was going to tell this to you at some later date but now just might be the right time. I may have an opportunity to earn a lot more money. These two Russian guys, Sergy and Vassily, that come into the restaurant every morning for breakfast have a business where they buy large SUVs and pickups, modify them with larger gas tanks and other upgrades to make them more rugged, and sell them to customers in the Middle East and Asia. They export the cars from Southern ports because it is a lot cheaper and they are looking for someone to drive cars to the Southern ports. The pay to shuttle these trucks is very good._

My reply.

 _Sounds sketchy to me Margo, you should be careful._

She answers:

 _No shit Sherlock, it sounds sketchy to me too, so I had Bobby check them out for me. Every cop in Brooklyn comes in here and eats for free, Bobby knows them all. He had them do a check on these guys and they are completely legit, I got the green light from the NYPD. They are looking for someone from the South to drive the trucks to Charleston, which has something to do with union or non-union costs to ship the trucks overseas. BTW I told everyone I was from Mississippi because I don't want anyone to know too much about me. Anyway, if this works out for me I believe that I will be traveling close to the proposed Secret Rebel Base._

My reply:

 _Yes…yes you will. I will need time to get it operational but that hurdle can easily be cleared as long as I know there will be a Rebel coming to the Secret Rebel Base._

Margo changes the subject.

 _Ok, enough of this serious shit…time for my guilty pleasure. Tell me what you and your friends are doing this summer, I hope you are having fun._

My reply:

 _I am…we all are. We have all of this time with no responsibilities, and we have all vowed to make the most of it. We are all acting as though the last week of August will never come, because it will be back to reality then. Lacey's cousin is here this week. We all went out for dinner, then back to Lacey's condo for a night at the pool. They have something planned for Tuesday night and Wednesday as well. It's great to spend the summer with my friends, both old and new, but I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't lonely. We all went to a big party on Friday, and it was fun for about an hour, then I was bored so I left. I just miss you Margo, and there isn't a day goes by that I don't think about you and wish you and I were spending the summer together. Here is how I imagine it to be on any given day. You would say let's do x…I would begin to hyperventilate…you would roll your eyes and mock me with an exasperated look…I would agree to do x anyway…it would be Margotastic. Yes, there is a special word for doing things with you. Don't take this the wrong way, I am happy that you are doing what you want to do the way you want to do it and will help you any way I can if you want me to, but that doesn't stop me from imagining._

 _Sorry for being a sap, let me tell you something really funny. While Ben was at college orientation, Lacey and I were bored so we drank a big bottle of wine at her pool, we were so drunk that she couldn't take me home, so I walked home. I was texting someone and I absentmindedly walked into the middle of a street and almost got hit by a car. If that wasn't bad enough, the driver of the car was Jase Worthington and Becca was with him. The funny part is that they then gave me a ride home. I felt like such a dope, but it was kinda funny. The story of Q almost gets hit by a car and gets a ride home with the people that almost hit him has already reached legendary status. I heard Ben recount the story the other night and it is so exaggerated that I had to remind myself that it happened to me. I really didn't mean to dredge up those two names, but the fact that those two took me home was hysterical because everyone also knows they were the major target of the retribution tour which, BTW holds beyond legendary status._

Margo replies:

 _This is the best of both worlds for me Q, I don't have to deal with those two assholes, or anybody else for that matter but I can still enjoy the stories from afar. Good thing Becca wasn't driving, she would have mowed you down. BTW Q, I'm very happy to know you didn't get hit by a car, but it is funny. I can imagine you in you own little world wandering out into traffic, one of your many endearing qualities. That will be a great thing for you to write about too._

I answer:

 _There is a lot more stuff but I don't want to bore you with it. I do want to make sure we continue to email each other on somewhat of a regular basis._

Margo replies:

 _So do I, but I don't want to make a commitment I can't keep. This is the best time for me. I'll get in here during the week and shoot you a quick e-mail to let you know if I can make it next Sunday. If you don't hear from me, don't worry about me, it just means that I couldn't get here._

I answer:

 _I understand. You might be busy doing something Margotastic._

She answers:

 _Q…I know you…promise me you won't round up a posse to look for me if you don't hear from me right away. I'll be fine. BTW I like Margotastic, it is a wonderful new word IMO. It will be prominently featured in my writing henceforth._

My turn:

 _I promise…this is confident Q with which you're exchanging emails. I really do miss hearing your voice Margo, your sexy, melodious cadence when you speak. To me it is intoxicating. No worries though, I can imagine it well. I want to reaffirm something you said earlier because it was well put._ _You can count on me…always_ _._

 _Love you…unconditionally, Q_

She ends with:

 _I know I can count on you Q, but it is always good to hear you say it. Get that notebook today…start writing your story, I can't wait to read it._

 _Love, Margo._

With that, mRs3324  returns to being an e-mail addy. While we were emailing each other, it was like she was almost here, just around the corner. I could imagine her chestnut brown hair and her blue eyes. I could hear the cadence of her sexy melodious voice and smell her almond scented lotion. A moment later, she's gone, a thousand miles away and never coming back. I'm not sure how I feel, melancholy perhaps, not bad but not good either. I close my laptop and stare out my window. I'm not sure how long I've been sitting at my desk but I begin to get a bad feeling. It's nothing at first, but as I stare into my portal to Margo, it seems to be slowly, inexorably closing, cutting me off from Margo. I shake off my foreboding thoughts, telling myself it is just my overactive imagination, Margo will be fine, she said so herself. I'll hear from her again next Sunday for sure. Speaking of next Sunday…

I thought I heard my phone buzz while Margo and I were chatting, there is a snap from the beach waiting for me. It's a selfie. Lucy is standing by the pool wearing another new bikini, this one is different from the others in her collection. She is wearing her Oakley running shades, and a smoking hot black bikini, the tiniest one yet, with all kinds of gold bling on the top. The bottom is held together with a gold ring on each side exposing even more skin than normal. She is smiling her wicked smile, the caption, _You like?_ I send her a snap of me sitting at my desk chair smiling. _I love your bling, you look so hot!_ is how I tag it and send it to her. Then I text her:

Today 12:44 PM

Q: I'm sitting here amped up because this time next week we will be together.

Lucy: That's assuming you get your butt out of bed and on the road early.

Q: I plan to speed the entire trip, you have emboldened me.

Lucy: Ha…doubt it, which is why I'll remind you once again to get your butt moving next Sunday.

Q: BTW have I told you how much I like you new bikini?

Lucy: Yup

Q: Have I mentioned how hot you are? Cause if I haven't; Lucy, you're effin hot.

Lucy: Uhuh, I'm not a hottie, but I'm happy that you think I am.

Q: Have I mentioned that I'm ready to jump out my skin I'm so excited to see you next week.

Lucy: When you get here, you're gonna be more excited than…well, you're gonna be more excited than ever once I have my arms around you.

Q: God you're killin me now. It's gonna be a long week. What's going on today at the beach?

Lucy: It's a no plans day, Everyone is just chillin. I'm sure the grill will be going and the liquor will be flowing soon enough. These people know how to party that's for sure.

Q: FaceTime tonight? I need to talk.

Lucy: Troubles?

Q: Nah, but I want to run something by you.

Lucy: Ok, late. Miss you.

Q: Miss you more.

Read: 12:45 PM

I don't feel like doing anything after that email chat. It is part awesome and exciting to communicate with Margo, but at the same time it is depressing. She is so far away, completely focused on trying to survive in New York and save money so she can travel. Why isn't she here, why doesn't she want me like I want her? I lay down in bed wondering why she doesn't really love me, why she doesn't really want me. The hopeless feeling I get when I think about Margo is overwhelming. I guess I dozed off at some point even though I slept late. Depressed people sleep a lot. I think I read that somewhere. Anyway, I am rudely awakened by two dickheads playing GTA. "WTF…you guys just couldn't let me sleep could you." "We've been here for an hour bro," Ben quickly replies, then adds, "we stayed as quiet as we could because you are really in need your beauty sleep." Radar than asks, "Up all night FaceTiming again?" How the hell does he know…oh yea…Angela, nothing is a secret between the four JPark girls. Anything Lucy knows, Angela, Kyra and Kayla know as well. "Yea, I was. We talk for hours, usually until we fall asleep," I tell him. "My butt is dragging a little that's for sure," I add. Radar turns and says to Ben, "anything for luuuuvvvv." They sound so stupid but I'm obviously missing something as Radar and Ben are enjoying a good laugh. "Yeah, yeah…whatever, don't read too much into it," I tell them. "Why don't you just admit it Q?" Ben says. "Admit what?" I snap back. "Instead of telling us that she's just being nice, or a friend, why don't you just admit that you and Lucy have the hots for each other and next week you're going to the beach to rock her world?" "I am invited to her beach house, but no one mentioned world rocking while I'm there. Her mom and dad are gonna be there the whole time, not conducive to world rocking. How do I know she even wants her world rocked by me, or anyone else for that matter?" Of course all of this is a bunch of BS because Lucy has made it perfectly clear what was gonna happen next week, and I have made it perfectly clear that I can't wait for next week to get here so it can happen. However, I'm not telling these two idiots because Ben will tell Lacey and Radar will tell Angela. Then Lucy will hear from Angela I was talking about it, and everyone else will know about it from Lacey and Ben. By the time I get to Sea Island next Sunday, I'll be told to turn around and go home. "Dude…we're gonna ride your pale ass about Lucy no matter what happens so you might as well just spit it out now because you know Lucy will tell Angela everything and she will tell me," Radar says. "Ok," I quickly reply, "Angela can keep you two up to date while I'm away." Ben replies, "come on Q, this is no fun…tell us what's going on with you two." "Alright...alright, God, you two are like a couple of middle school girls. Truth be told, I can't wait to go next week and I'll be disappointed if there is no world rocking, that's for sure," I finally tell them. I grab my phone and show them the snap of Lucy showing off her bling bikini. "Holy effin shit," Radar says. "Sweet baby Jesus," Ben says, one of his favorite exclamations, "what the fuck did you do to her Q? She was always hot, but she looks like a model now. That's the girl that will make you forget about Margo." I feel a set of eyes on me at the mention of Margo. They belong to that world class multi-tasker, Marcus Lincoln who is able to eyeball me and play the video game at the same time. WTF is this about I say to myself, he must know something or he wouldn't be eyeballing me. "Apparently, there IS one girl in the world that doesn't run far away upon meeting me," I reply. They both answer in their patented, not quite simultaneous manner; Radar, "don't worry, there's still time." Ben, a half beat behind him, "she's got a week left to get away." They fist bump, laughing at my expense, then return to playing GTA. I'm not invited to play because "l suck at GTA" according to Ben.

"Anybody hungry?" I ask as I head toward our kitchen, but there is no reply as they are both immersed in the game. I'm in the kitchen looking for some food, but I end up opening a Sprite and sit at the kitchen island staring through the sliding door into space. Not sure how long I've been sitting here, but I slowly become aware of my best friends standing on either side of me. "What…what did I do now?" I protest. "Nothing Q, we decided to see how long you would remain zoned out while we were here," Ben says. "Just under 10 minutes Q," Radar adds. "What the hell are you thinking about anyway." "Absolutely nothing," I tell them, which is true.

"Ok, well think about this," Ben says. "We're all going to Vinny's tonight then we're going back to Lacey's to hang out. Shall we pick you up or do you want us to meet you there?" "I'm not feelin Vinny's," I tell them. "Maybe I'll catch up with you guys later." "Yeah, sure Q…no worries. BTW what time do you want Lacey and Avery to come over here and drag you out?" Ben asks. "Cause you know that is exactly what will happen," he adds. "I know, Avery kinda scares me. I feel as though I would disappear never to be heard from again if I pissed her off. Maybe I'll just go to Vinny's with you guys." "Tru dat bro, she could probably make it happen," Ben says laughing. Radar adds, "besides Q, you can preside over an impromptu meeting of the Quentin Jacobsen fan club tonight." Radar is grinning and Ben is laughing. "Yeah Q, she is sweeeeeet," Ben says, "too bad you missed her last Friday, you went home too early that night." "Yeah, I guess I did." I hope these knuckleheads never figure out that Ashley gave me a ride home, I'll never hear the end of it. "Besides," I explain, "she's like half my age or something." "So you DO know something about her," Radar jumps right on my statement. "You're stalking her, aren't you. How old is she anyway? Stalking is a felony in Florida, Q." "Haha," I sarcastically respond. "I'm not stalking her and I don't know her age other than that she is younger than us." Ben jumps in, "Maybe you should stalk her Q…she's too young to flee…you'll finally find a girl who can't leave the state."

Ben's phone buzzes, Lacey no doubt with Ben's marching orders. I look at Radar and we both start laughing…although we would probably both change places with him if we could, there are very few Lacey Pembertons in this world. After a short conversation, Ben ends the call and says, "Ok, 7:30 at Vinny's. I'm coming with the girls, we'll meet you guys there. If you get there first, make sure you get a table that Ashley is working. "Come on Radar, let's go," Ben says. "See you tonight Q, don't wimp out on us." "No worries, I'll be there," I tell them as they head out through the garage. A few minutes later, my phone buzzes, it is a call from 917, Englewood NJ. I don't know anyone from…. I accept the call because I realize…"Quentin, hi, it's Avery." "Hi Avery, what's up?" I'm still kinda scared of her. "Q," she begins, "I want to make sure you're coming with us tonight, rumor has it that sometimes you can wander off on your own." I laugh because she says it in a disarming, funny manner. "Rumor, or Lacey?" I reply raising my voice tone to form the question, which makes her laugh. I continue, "No worries Avery, I'll meet you guys at Vinny's, 7:30, right?" "I'm only here for a week Q, and I'm having fun hanging with you guys. You're coming to Lacey's too, ok?" "Only if you're gonna be there Avery." I reply, to which she quickly replies, "Good answer. Bye Q, see you tonight," Avery replies and ends the call. On the surface that seems like a strange call from someone I just met but it makes sense to me. Ben told Lacey I was thinking about not coming, and Lacey had Avery call me to make sure I do. Avery, of course, has no problem calling someone she just met. I doubt that she would have any qualms about calling anyone. The whole process brings a smile to my face because it is actually Lacey keeping me under her wing and looking out for me as she promised. Oh yeah…I don't care if it seems shallow or self centered…I love it. I love the attention from the beautiful girl who has become my trusted friend. Back to my room for the quick shower and change routine. While I was showering another snap arrives from the beach. It is a pic of all of the kids grouped together hanging by the pool. Lucy is right in the middle with their neighbor Steven, who has one arm around Lucy and his other arm around one of her cousins. He looks way too cozy with Lucy and I feel a nasty jealousy vibe rising. I already hate this fuckin dude and I haven't even met him yet. With any luck this asshole has a job or perhaps even a life and he won't be around next week. Geez…he's twenty fuckin four, Why is he perving on kids? The caption is: _Chillin by the pool._ I know better than to say anything as he is a longtime family friend, so I reply: _Everyone looks great…wish I was there with you_. Definitely not what I'm thinking though, I can be as jealous and thin skinned as the best of them. I recall how much I hated / envied Jase Worthington when he and Margo were dating, and the disdain I held for Lacey as well. I sure didn't put my best foot forward then, I say to myself. The hell with it, I'm gonna not be an asshole, I'll go and have some fun with my friends tonight, maybe Avery would be willing scare the shit out of me a little bit. Now THAT would be fun for sure.

I'm just about ready to leave when my phone buzzes, it's Lacey, I accept the call. "Hi Lace," I say. "QUEN-tin," Lacey is exasperated already, "we're all here except you, what are you doing?" she asks. "Backing out of my driveway Lace," which is almost true, I actually will be backing out of my driveway in a minute or so. "My mom and dad were bending my ear about what I was doing and who I was doing it with," which is a fib but it could be true because they're always trying to find out what's going on with everybody, and I'm always trying not to tell them. "It took me forever to shake them, I'll be there in five minutes, you're probably gonna order for me anyway, so would you please order for me, I'll be there soon." "Already did Q," she is happy Lacey now. "Great, I can always count on you. I'll see you in a couple Lace," and end the call. Shortly thereafter, I roll into Vinny's lot, find a space and head in through the takeout door. "Hey Vinny," I say as I blow through the takeout area. Vinny automatically replies "How you doin kid?" Some things never change I say to myself as I reach the restaurant area. We have a round table in the middle, as soon as they spot me I get a derisive round of applause. "Thank you for gracing us with your presence, your Majesty" Lacey says as everyone snickers, including the people within earshot of Lacey. "So, where's my throne," I reply, which gets me a Ben fist bump and a Lacey eye roll. I quickly sit down and shut up as I know this is a battle I can't win. I'm barely settled in my seat when our lovely waitress appears. "Hi Q," she says enthusiastically, setting a Sprite in front of me, "did you drive tonight or will I have to check the gutters later to see if you need a ride?" She has her hands on her hips and is sporting the same smirk as she did Friday night behind my house. There is that moment when you know you're gonna take some heat, but it has not yet sunk in with your friends. I'm looking at Ashley and I can't help but smile, she's enjoying this. Then I just bury my head in my arms on the table cause here it comes. "Wait a minute Ashley," it's Ben of course, "YOU gave him a ride? Let me guess, Friday night, right?" "Yeah Ben I did," she says. "I found him sitting in the gutter in front of the party, didn't he tell you guys how he got home?" She glances at another table and says, "I gotta keep moving, I'll be back." I lift my head and everyone is looking at me, Avery, sitting right next to me says, "good luck Quentin, you're on your own." Lacey jumps right in, "so Q, you got a ride with some kid from your neighborhood, however you neglected to mention that the some kid was Ashley." Radar says, "Q, Ashley lives near you but you conveniently left that out yesterday…imagine that." I decide the best defense is a good offense, so I try to explain what happened. "I was bored at the party cause I couldn't drink, so I went outside to wait for you guys to text me. While I was outside, Ashley came along and asked me if I needed a ride. That's when I texted you guys saying I got a ride home. Don't read more into it than there is," I tell them. To which Angela quickly replies, "This is exactly what he said about the girl he FaceTimes for hours every night until they fall asleep." Ben, Lacey and Radar look at each other and seem dumbfounded for a moment. Angela could well be the nicest 18 year old girl on the planet, loathe to participate in a roasting. Ben quickly recovers "Tru dat Angela, now you're getting the hang of it. You have been way too nice to him." Laughter for everyone, and when I say everyone I'm including those in earshot of our table. I'm laughing too even though I'm the target, it's kinda funny but it is attention, it's good to have friends, even if they are busting your cojones.

Soon Ashley returns with one of the two pizzas that Lacey ordered. She leans between Avery and myself to put the pizza down, as she does she is gives me a quick smile and says, "I'll be right back with the other one," she says. Momentarily, she returns. "Do you guys need anything else?" she asks. "Yeah Ashley," Ben quickly replies, "next time you find Quentin in a gutter, we need you to please leave him there." Everybody laughs, Ben gets a fist bump from Lacey. Mercifully, the topic turns to something else while everyone is eating, veggie pizza and white pizza are the menu items selected by Lacey. I'm hungry and the white pizza is pretty good. I notice that Avery has the same finicky appetite as her cousin, they are both dissecting their veggie slices like surgeons. Everyone must be hungry because we go through two pizzas like Sherman went through Georgia. Ashley is busy, it's a full house as usual, but she manages to find time to walk behind me and "accidentally" whack me in the head with menus, to the absolute delight of everyone. Avery looks at me and says, "I think she likes you, Q." Tonight I'm getting roasted until I'm well done, I realize. There's no sense in fighting it, I just go with the flow. Kyra and Kayla come in and sit in a booth near us. They're with the same two guys they were talking to on Friday. Everyone says hi and the three JPark friends are looking at their phones and talking about something. Ashley eventually returns with the check and hands it to me, and stands there, hands on her hips, mischievous smirk on her face. Avery, who has remained silent during my skewering, says, "Thanks for dinner Q, I really enjoyed everything, especially the conversation." So, apparently I'm buying. More of my graduation money down the drain, I think as I hand Ashley my debit card. "Yeah, Q , thanks…you're the man" Ben says followed a half beat behind by Radar, "dude…alright, thanks." Ashley turns to go and run my card, but stops in her tracks, walks up behind me puts her arms around my shoulders, leans down next to me and announces, "l'll bet he left out the part that my house is right behind his, but he had no idea I lived there. He started giving me directions to Jefferson Park, but I drove him right to his driveway. He couldn't figure out how I knew where he lived until I showed him my house." She quickly does an about face and walks to the register to ring us out. For split second everyone is silent as it sinks in, then laughter erupts. Ben and Radar are dying laughing, they can't say anything. Lacey and Avery are looking at me like the clueless person I am. Even Angela is laughing, and not her polite mouth covering laugh. Lacey finally says, "does she really live right next to you?" "Right behind him Lacey." Ashley has returned with the receipt…"100 feet away…my deck faces his deck." The tab for two large pizzas and a bunch of drinks is 41 bucks and change, I add a 10 dollar tip, not because I have the extra ten bucks, but because 1; I want to remain a good tipper and 2; anybody who saw Ashley in those cut off jeans shorts would tip her generously. Everybody gets up to leave and I hear Lacey inviting Ashley to her house later. "Oh…Lacey…I would love to hang with you guys but I work til 11 and I have to get my mom's car home before twelve," she says. "Thanks for inviting me Lacey, bye everybody," she says as we make our way out of the place. I'm following my friends out the door when Ashley grabs my arm and says, "You're a sweetheart for leaving me that tip Q, so I can assume you're not pissed at me?" she says, raising her voice tone to form the question." "I'm highly offended," I say with a big smile. "She laughs and says, "yeah…right, I can tell you're upset, see you tomorrow Q…I'll text you." She has a good grip on my forearm, hanging on for a moment and a half, until I reply, "Ok Ash, good night."

We're all going to Lacey's to hang out. We have the run of her house while her parents are traveling, it's like Nirvana for a bunch of 18 year old kids so we're gonna make the most of it.

I get in my van to drive to Lacey's and Avery runs across the lot and gets in my car. "I'm riding with you in the cool car," she says as she gets in. Borderline panic sets in immediately. To me, Avery is both frightening and irresistible at the same time. "Not really, Avery…this is the uncool car." "Let's roll Q," she says as I put the van in gear for the short trip to Lacey's. I just wanted to leave those two alone for a few minutes anyway," she says. "The third wheels can roll together tonight. I seriously doubt that anyone at any point in her life has ever considered Avery a third wheel. Myself? When you Google third wheel, my picture appears. "You withstood all of that teasing pretty well Q," she says looking at me. "That was mild Avery, when it is just Ben, Radar and myself, it can get pretty harsh, I'm used to it." "Tell me about Ben," she says. "Have you known him long, what kind of guy is he?" "Forever, at least it seems that way, but truthfully Ben and I have been friends since the fifth grade. We met on the island of misfit toys." "Stop it Q, everyone seems to know you guys." "A recent phenomenon." I continue, "Ben is the youngest of four, so he is like the runt of the litter, his parents have seen it all from his older sister and brothers. There was so much going on in their household he developed his over the top persona to distinguish himself from his siblings, in my amateur psychologist opinion…or, he could just be a dick," I add. Avery laughs. "Seriously, Ben's heart is bigger than he is. There is no limit to his friendship, and there is no limit to his love for Lacey. He would do anything for her and he would never do anything to hurt her. They are great together and no one is happier for them than me. I never knew Lacey until this May, but we have become close and my observation is that she is very happy and it's all because of my pal and former high school pariah Ben Starling." Avery flashes a quizzical look at the mention of high school pariah, so I tell her the Bloody Ben story…short version, including the originator of the name. "I've met Becca," Avery says, "not a fan." "Neither is your cousin," I reply. "Not now she isn't, but this time last year they were allegedly friends." I look at her and say, "Good God Avery, all that seems like it was a million years ago. So much has happened over the last two months, our lives have changed so much. Every time I stop and think about it, my head spins."

"I'm glad to hear you say that Ben is a good guy, Lacey's track record with guys has been dismal until she met Ben. Lacey has told me all about him, how they met, everything about you, about Margo, the road trip…everything. I couldn't wait to get here to meet you guys and see for myself what is going on with her." "Sorry to disappoint you," I say. Avery laughs, "ahh…yes," she says, "the great Quentin Jacobsen. You are exactly as advertised Q, stop selling yourself short. Lacey loves you. You are exactly the friend she needs, and if Lacey loves you, I love you too," Avery says. "I'm only here for a week Q, but I'm only a call or text away. Don't lose my number, you can always count on me." I don't know exactly how to respond to this beautiful, dynamic girl, unlike anyone I've ever met, so I just tell her, "Thanks Avery, that really means a lot to me."

We have been sitting in front of Lacey's condo waiting for the rest of them to show up, momentarily they appear and we're back in our comfort zone, hanging by Lacey's pool. While I'm walking in through the gate to Lacey's, I get my phone, find that 917 number, create a new contact, then I send my new contact the following text:

Today, 9:31 PM

321-267-0868: Hey Avery, I know a good offer when I hear one. Thanks.

Without prompting, I go into the kitchen and get the cooler with the Coronas. Lacey and Angela are in the kitchen getting some snacks together. Avery is yelling from the pool, "don't forget the lemons, Q," which I forgot. I go back into the kitchen and Lacey says, "I'll bring the lemons, take the wine and the wine glasses," which I do. I return to the poolside table, it hasn't been moved from the other night, and Ben says, hey Q, where's the corkscrew? It's 5 to 1 odds that you can't open two bottles in a row without screwing it up or hurting yourself." Radar is snickering but I don't hear what he has to say, nor do I want to. I do an about face, returning to the kitchen to retrieve the forgotten corkscrew. Angela is on her way out loaded down with some snacks. "Hey Lace, where's the corkscrew? I ask as I enter the kitchen again. She points to a drawer. I rummage through it until I find what I'm looking for. "Do you want me to carry anything else Lace?" I ask. "Yeah," She replies, "take that stack of napkins, would you please? I'll get the rest of this stuff. I do so and take one step toward the door, but Lacey says, "Q." I stop and look at her assuming she has another task for me. "Wait a minute before you go out there," she says. "Okaaaay," I reply, she sounds so serious all of a sudden. "Can I ask you something?" "Come on Lace...after these last two months you know you can ask me anything," I tell her. "How are you and Lucy getting along?" "Great," I reply, "or at least I think we are getting along great. She sends me snaps all the time and we FaceTime every night for as long as we both can stay awake. I'm going to visit her next week at Sea Island, I'm excited to go and she seems excited for me to visit, so yeah...we're getting along well." "Did you see that pic she posted on Instagram a few hours ago?" Lacey asks. "The one with all the girls and her neighbor by the pool?" I spit out my answer, "Yup...saw it." "So...that bothered you?" Lacey raises her voice tone to form the question. "Well, if you're talking to the old Quentin, the pre-May, 2017 Quentin, I would be completely consumed by alternating fits of jealousy and envy," I tell her. "And the new Quentin?" "The new Quentin is confident Q," I explain. "Confident Q is going to go to Sea Island next week, knowing that Lucy is as excited to see me as I am to see her." Lacey is eyeballing me with a skeptical look on her face. "Q...you remember when I said we have to stick together, and that I can help you avoid some of the mistakes I made?" "Sure do Lace," I reply, "that is a big part of why I remain confident Q." "Well, I don't like what I see in that picture, those two look a little too chummy for my liking. I don't want you rolling into that beach house, excited to spend a week with Lucy and get blindsided. You've been through enough," she says. "Also, did you see Angela, Kayla and Kyra looking at their phones while we were at Vinny's?" "Didn't notice," I say. "I was busy fending off a full scale assault." She laughs. "Well, I managed to eavesdrop on their conversation, they were talking about creepy Stevie," she explains. "That's his name," I tell Lacey, "Lucy told me he was her next door neighbor, Steven." "Truth be told Lace I'm wary of this guy, perhaps confident Q will have to confidently run him over with my minivan," I say, which makes Lacey laugh again. "Don't worry, Q, I'll get all the dirt from Angela," she tells me. "I have no doubt," I quickly reply. "Come on," I continue with a wry smile, "let's get out there before they think we're doing it." "QUEN-tin," she exclaims, "you're so bad sometimes." We emerge from the kitchen and walk across the deck, down the steps and over to where everyone is encamped. As we approach the table Avery says, "what took you so long? Were you two making out in there?" "Haha...Touché cuz," is Lacey's reply.

It's deja vu all over again. I successfully open the wine bottle, much to the dismay of my best buds, pouring the killer wine for the girls, except Avery. She's drinking a Corona and gets one for herself then retrieves another for me, lemon wedge included. We wordlessly toast, clinking the bottles together and settle in for another warm summer night by the pool. "Doesn't anyone else ever use this pool?" I ask Lacey. "Nah...not at night, during the day families with little kids use it," she tells me. "Sweeeeeet, our own, private pool," Ben says. "It's like a club, just for us." Hey Q," Lacey says, "I invited your not so secret admirer to come over after work but she had to be home before 12, how old is she anyway?" "Sixteen," I mumble, hoping no one is paying attention. "What?" Radar exclaims, "she's only sixteen...you sure can pick em Q, soon you'll be perving the middle school." I'm not even responding now, it is pointless. "I'm pretty sure she picked Quentin," Lacey says to Ben and Radar, but that doesn't hinder them at all. Ben says, "Ok...let's review all of Q's girlfriends; Margo...whereabouts unknown, Lucy...upon spending only one weekend with Q, makes a beeline to the beach for the balance of the summer." "There is hope however," Radar says, "Ashley has a curfew, she can't run away...yet." So, she's really like your next door neighbor, but you didn't know it?" Lacey asks. I'm so well done tonight that I'm down to non verbal responses, sheepishly nodding my head in acknowledgement. Finally, they've all run out of things with which to torment me and everyone quiets down, the chatter is a little hushed as we relax and enjoy our private poolside party.

"Does anyone have plans for Tuesday night?" We all look at Avery, who has hopped out of her chair like someone shot an electrical current through it. Before anyone can respond, Avery continues, "if you do, cancel them because we're all going to see The Killers at Hard Rock Live on Tuesday night. I have six VIP tickets. They are my favorite band and even though they have been around for a while, they kick ass. You guys will love them. We're all staring at Avery for a long second until finally Ben says, "wait...did you just say you have VIP tickets to a concert?" "That's right Ben, and one of them has your name on it," Avery replies smiling. Ben lets out the longest sweeeeeet he can muster then says to Lacey, "do you want to see a concert Tuesday night? I have VIP tickets. We're going to see...who are we going to see?" Ben says to no one in particular. "The Killers," Avery answers. He continues talking to Lacey, "we're going to see The Killers...they're so good they'll slay you." Everyone groans at Ben's awful play on words. "Whaaaat...Killers...they slay you. What's wrong with that?" he asks. "Godawful Ben," I tell him. I'm looking at Lacey who is giving him the supersized eye roll. She looks at me and I say, "he's your boyfriend Lace." She fires right back, "That's your fault Q, maybe I'll just give him back." "Too late Lacey," Radar says, "he's non-returnable...he's all yours." Avery continues, "we have VIP parking too, so we can all meet here then we can ride in Q's cool car to the concert, right Q?" "Yeah, sure Avery, we're good to go," I tell her." I glance at Lacey who just shrugs her shoulders as if to say don't be surprised about anything Avery does. "So, Radar, Angela, you guys are coming right? "We sure are Avery, thanks for inviting us," Angela says. "Great," Avery replies, "everyone can make it, I've been planning this for months," she says.

Radar, the logical Radar, gives me the how could she have planned this for months look when months ago the following things had not yet happened and none of us would have given two cents for any of it to happen:

1: Ben, Radar and I had no other friends.

2: Radar had not yet met Angela.

3: Ben was Bloody Ben

4: I was a non-person.

5: Lacey Pemberton didn't know any of us existed. Although not quite true and by her own admission, Lacey was well aware of me, she just didn't acknowledge my existence.

6: Months ago, Lacey's best friends were Margo and Becca and she was dating Craig.

7: It would be impossible for Avery to know any of us because Lacey didn't know any of us.

8: No one could have anticipated the chain of events that unfolded over the last ten weeks.

9: Avery has six tickets to the concert nevertheless.

I shrug my shoulders at Radar and say, "amazing isn't it," to which he quickly replies, "Yeah." Angela says, "what's amazing?" While I'm fishing for an appropriate response, Radar replies, "It's an amazingly beautiful summer night," which garners a skeptical Angela eye roll.

Avery opens the cooler, pulls out two icy Coronas, picks up her drink and mine, does an about face and heads toward the kitchen. WTF...she just took my beer, is she cutting me off for the night I wonder. Several steps into her journey, she stops, turns around and gives me the _come on dumbass, we're going to the kitchen_ look. Clueless once again I realize as I bolt out of my chair and trot to catch up with her. She hands me my open beer displaying an exasperated look which instantly makes me smile. Just like Margo I say to myself. I was always a half step behind Margo, she would always find it exasperating and conveyed her exasperation via a special glare reserved only for me. "What's so funny Q," Avery asks as we walk up the steps, across the deck and into the kitchen. "Nothing really Avery, you just reminded me of somebody back there," I reply. We're in the kitchen now sitting at the island with our drinks and I'm wondering what this is all about. Avery is intoxicating, I say to myself, I can't fathom what it would be like to date her, or spend time with her, or actually kiss her. I'm imagining how it would feel to have her incredible body pressed close to mine, and how unlikely it is that it would ever happen. Not a word is spoken, she is looking at me like she is downloading all of my data and analyzing it to get my full measure. When she finally speaks she says something completely unexpected. "I'm not her Quentin." "I never said you were...uh...you're not who...who are we talking about Avery?" She's still eyeballing me. "Margo, I'm not Margo." "I don't think..." She cuts me off. "I saw that love struck, goofy smile Q. Something I did reminded you of her, what was it?" "The look," I reply, "the exasperated look you gave me when I didn't follow you right away, it did remind me of her, but I don't see you as a Margo replacement or anything like that Avery." "Exactly how DO you see me Quentin?" she asks in a firm, inquisitive voice, not quite an interrogation, but close. The answer flies out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about it, because if I did think about it I never would have said it. "I've never been around a girl like you Avery, your combination of brains, beauty and balls is equally intimidating and irresistible." I'm sure she wasn't expecting me to say that because she seems stymied for a New York second. She quickly recovers, smiles, but says nothing as if she is guarding access to her data. Finally she responds, "l got your text Q, smart move." I lift my beer bottle, tilted slightly toward her, she does the same, the bottles clink and we both take a drink. Avery and I have made a silent pact, although unsure of the details of this pact, I sense that I'm gonna find out soon enough.

"I thought it would be good for we third wheels to hold a separate meeting in the kitchen," she says. We both laugh at her comment and the mood lightens. "We should probably give them some time alone," she continues, "I'm sure they are sick of us being around all the time." I'm looking at her with an _are you effin kiddin me_ look, that she instantly recognizes. I'm not good at hiding my thoughts, especially from someone as sharp witted as Avery. "I know it's hard to believe Q," Avery says with a wry smile, "but I can wear thin on people." My thoughts are _I'd love to have her wear thin on me,_ but I say something much different, "Perhaps, but of all the things someone could say about you, being a third wheel isn't one of them. You're such a dynamic person. Then there is me, I'm true third wheel material." She snaps back, "Stop Q, stop selling yourself short. You've been beaten down for so long it's your default mode, you need to ditch that and be the person you want to be. You know Q, I've known Margo for a long time, I've been coming here every summer for the last 10 years or so and my estimation of her is that she is completely selfish and self centered. Lacey told me how Margo treated you, she told me everything, asked me if I thought she should tell you her theory." "Oh, you know about that," I sheepishly reply. "Remember Q, we're cousins but we're really sisters, we only have each other so we stay tight. "What did you tell her to do?" "Nothing," Avery says, "I never met you so I really couldn't answer the question." I asked her if she thought you would want to know. She took quite a bit of time to think it through before she decided to tell you." "I'm glad she decided to tell me...now," I reply. "The night she came to my house and told me her whole story it was more than I could fathom. I couldn't get my arms around the whole concept at first, but as I thought it through, I realized that Lacey is probably right on some level. After all, she is the only person who was close to Margo before she left, then close to me after Margo left. She has a perspective that no one else has. She felt so much better after she told the tale, I could sense the weight being lifted off her shoulders." I continue, "now I'm actually ok with the whole thing...I'm unsure how much of it is true, but I'm ok with it. Also, I'm glad that Lacey decided to tell me, she needed to unburden herself and I'm certain that she feels much better having done so."

Now Avery's eyes are locked with mine as if she can somehow extract thoughts directly from my brain and it dawns on me that I really know nothing about her, so I begin by asking, "what do you think about all of this?" "Which all of this are we talking about Q, all of the Margo treated you like shit for years but you love her anyway...or since I was last here, Lacey has all new friends, a new boyfriend and she is a happier version of herself?" I contemplate the question for a few moments, Avery's gaze still affixed. Damn, that's a good question, I realize as I answer, "The latter all of this." Avery pauses for a long moment, I can tell she is gathering her thoughts not unlike Lacey does. "I think that you are as Lacey described you and Ben is the guy she said he was." That could mean anything, l think. I don't say anything but my facial expression is easy pickings for the uber perceptive Avery because she quickly says, "I'm getting a little ahead of myself Q." Good God I say to myself, these two aren't cousins, they're clones. She continues, "Can you imagine what I was thinking when I started hearing about all of the stuff that went on. All of a sudden, Margo trashes everybody and runs away, I start hearing about all of these completely new people. Lacey dumps her dopey boyfriend and has a new prom date. Becca humiliates her at the prom party. Quentin this and Quentin that, oh by the way this is the same Quentin that was with Margo when they catfished and spray painted her car. Lacey _ditches graduation_ to road trip with these new people to find Margo. Lacey is my little sister Q, she is all I have. I was itching to get here to see for myself what the hell was really going on with her." "Fair enough Avery," I reply, "you've been here for several days, the question stands." "Lacey loves you Quentin, she told me you were her best friend now and she is certain that she can count on you no matter what. Having met you I know it to be true," Avery says. "It is," I reply. "I don't deserve it but Lacey has been a great friend to me, always watching out for me, making sure I'm included, that I'm ok, whatever. She is a terrific girl and I would do anything for her." I let that sink in for a moment or so before I continue. "Ben?" I say raising the inflection of my voice to form the question. "That one is easy Q, I had him pegged before I even got here. He adores her and will do anything for her. He's smart and he loves her for who she is not because she's a a hot piece of ass. Lacey was searching for someone like him all along only she didn't understand what "it" was until she met Ben. She loves him to death, she is so happy, and I love you guys for being there for her." "It's weird how all of this happened in such a short period of time," I say. "Also, I continue with a smirk, "I'd like to point out that Ben does indeed love Lacey because she's a hot piece of ass." For a moment I think I've blown it big time because Avery is boring a hole in my head with her baby blues but she erupts in laughter, "yeah Q, dude's got a pulse, I guess that goes without saying."

I finish my Corona and Avery reaches into a drawer and fishes out a bottle opener to open a fresh one for me. "The lemons are outside Q, you'll have to rough it," she says as she hands me the bottle. "Corona without a lemon? What's next, coffee without cream...peanut butter without jelly? I'll tell you Avery, I can't live in a world like this." She laughs at my joke, I'm trying to change the subject to anything not so serious. "Tell me something about Avery Pemberton?" I ask her. "Not much to tell Q, I'm really busy with school, I'm in the Honors College and it is a real ass kicker. I have no time for a social life right now. This week is the most fun I've had in a long time, and I'm really enjoying being here with you guys." I quickly reply, "not really buying that, but I know better than to argue with you Avery." She's eyeballing me again, now what, I'm saying to myself. She grabs my phone, hits the home button then keys in 4399 to unlock my phone. I can't believe she just did that, WTF...how could she effin know my passcode. What is it with this chick? She is holding my phone, smiling then she finally says, "Margo's birthday? You're just too easy Q. I hold up my hands in surrender, shrug my shoulders and say "whatever." She is smiling as she scrolls through my address book. "Lucy...I know about her. Oh...here's one, Ashley the saucy waitress crushing on Q. Becca...really, you have Becca's number?" she seems really surprised. "That's a long story Avery, one I'd like to forget."

"Here's a good one," she says, "Avery...what no pics?" She quickly snaps a selfie, then comes around the kitchen island, gets right next to me and snaps another of both of us both smiling a goofy smile. Then she takes another pic while she is licking my face, to say there is a surprised look on my face is an understatement. She stands up, pulls the collar of her top out, aims the phone down and snaps a picture of her boobs. "I probably won't see you till next summer Q, that should hold you until then," she says holding the phone so I can see it. I am absolutely speechless, Avery is smiling a wicked smile and says, "If I post that one how should I tag it?" This is the point where I usually fail because I'm such a dork, but for some reason I quickly blurt out, "Nice Rack," which earns me a punch on my arm. "Damn right Q, they're awesome," she says.

Avery continues her rampage through my phone, now she is in the text messages list. Resistance is futile I realize, plus, I find myself not really wanting to resist Avery. She goes right to Lucy's texts, hits the i button and starts scrolling through the saved snaps from the beach. "She's cute Quentin, what's she like?" Avery asks. "Fun, spontaneous, she has an unpredictable wicked streak that she lets loose from time to time. I really like her." As I say that Avery gets to the sexy underwear snaps she sent the night after she left. "Oh baby...wicked indeed," she says with a huge smile, turning the phone so I can see what she is looking at. "Forecast for the beach next week... _hot and steamy."_ I'm blushing like a 10 year old now and Avery is laughing at me. "Please don't tell anyone you saw that one. I swore that I wouldn't show that to anyone," I tell her. "You still haven't shown it to anyone Q, I accidentally found it, Avery replies with a conspiratorial grin. "I'm really good at keeping secrets Q," she says. Her demeanor changes in a New York second as she emphatically adds, _I MIGHT EVEN BE AS GOOD AT IT AS YOU ARE."_ Again I'm being eyeballed by this incredible girl and it is unnerving. She can sense that I'm squirming in my seat as she pours it on. What the hell is she trying to prove I'm asking myself. After an interminable silence she says, " _you know where she is_." These five words are the verbal equivalent of getting hit upside the head with a 2 by 4. How the fuck did she figure it out. I'm beginning to panic, I can only imagine the look on my face as I launch my denial. "I don't Avery, she's gone and she's never coming back." "That's probably true Q, but that doesn't mean you don't know where she is because you do. You're good Q, really good, you're able to keep your secret from Ben, Radar and Lacey, but I'm better. You've probably been talking to her." I resort to pleading the 5th, anything I say can and will be used to further incriminate me. "No worries Q, as a fellow secret keeper, your's is safe with me." She continues, "Lacey told me she was really worried that you might take off on some futile quest to find Margo again, but I find you to be oddly complacent about her. It didn't take me long to connect those dots Q." She instantly changes the subject by saying, "how long do you think we've been here?" "I dunno," I answer. "Almost two hours." Avery's conspiratorial grin returns as she stands up to return to the pool. "How many times shall we say we did it." I don't miss my cue this time, I'm right with her as we walk across the deck and down the steps. "Two times," I reply, "l have incredible staying power."

We're walking toward the pool and the four of them are huddled together. Avery slides her arm in mine and nestles close to me, I can't take this, she is teasing the shit out of me. We get to the table and four sets of eyes are affixed on us, but no one says a word. Finally Lacey smiles and says, "Ok...you two were in there so long, you had to be doing it." Avery faces me, wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me as close as she can, looks at Lacey and says, "we only did it twice Lace, he has incredible staying power." There is dead silence. I suppose each of them is trying to decide if we actually did do it while we were in there. I'm so embarrassed, I'm sure my eyes are the size of silver dollars and I'm blushing again because Avery is hanging all over me and...how can I put this diplomatically...it has me a tad excited. Ben and Radar are looking at each other then they erupt in laughter, Lacey squeals, "oh my God Avery, get your mind out of the gutter. You too Quentin Jacobsen, you're the worst." Angela has her hand over her mouth, she seems as though she is in shock. Avery unwraps herself and sits down. I quickly sit down as well with my arms across my lap. Ben and Radar are snickering like middle school boys looking at a naked girl picture. They give me their patented, half a beat off, "something wrong Q...you okay Q?" routine. It only takes another moment for Lacey, then Angela to realize why they are laughing and my humiliation is complete. "Thanks everybody...thanks for noticing," I say sarcastically. Avery comes to my defense, "geez give the guy a break, he _does have a pulse_." Angela and Lacey finally stop laughing, Lacey looks at me, rolls her eyes and says, "oh sweetie, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you but that was funny." I just shrug my shoulders, "whatever, Lace."

I'm never gonna hear the end of this...ever, and I'm ok with that as long as the entire world doesn't hear about it. It really won't bother me if Ben and Radar break my balls about this until the end of time, but it is too embarrassing for general consumption. I don't have to worry about Angela or Lacey telling anyone, they are too ladylike. Avery is going home next week so that leaves my two best friends. I decide to deal with them later. The balance of the evening passes without issue and is enjoyable for all. I notice that it is almost midnight so I'm gonna head home and get the latest and greatest from the beach via FaceTime. I tell everyone I'm tired and ready to leave and Angela quickly says, "tell Lucy I said hi Q." I respond in the affirmative. "Quentin has a long night of FaceTime ahead of him," Angela announces as I'm getting up to leave. Lacey stands up and says, "come on Quentin, I'm walking you to your car," as she slides her arm in mine just as Avery did earlier. "Bye Q, you were terrific," Avery says, with a smartass look on her face. Everyone laughs as I say goodnight to Avery. Sixth grade Ben and Radar make the first of what will certainly be regular appearances, Ben first, "see ya Q, when you get home make sure that Woody poster is still up. Radar is next, "Q, after you go through the gate make a hard right to get to your car. The girls are groaning in agony at the juvenile jokes, Bevis and Butthead are snickering like idiots. Ben again, "Q is gonna have a stiff drink once he gets home," which makes Lacey wheel around to eyeball Ben ensuring there will be no more erection jokes...tonight anyway. We get to my car and Lacey says, "Quentin, what were you two doing in the kitchen?" "It was a long get to know each other session, she seemed to be interested all of us and what we've been doing," I tell her. "She's something else Lace, I've never met anyone like her. She does scare me though." Lacey laughs, "that's ok Q, she scares me from time to time as well." "Say hi to Lucy for me, and please...keep your head on a swivel when you get there. I couldn't bear to see you get slammed again." "I'll be fine Lace, really, but it's nice to know someone actually cares."

Driving home from Lacey's at midnight on Sunday reminds me of a different late night trip around town. Dark, quiet, empty streets, no traffic anywhere, Margo and I on her revenge mission. I hope I get an email from her during the week, I really want to "chat"with her next Sunday. I'm home in no time and I head for my bedroom, hit the rack and quickly fall asleep. I have my phone close by, waiting for Lucy. Next thing I know my phone is buzzing me out of my slumber. It's Lucy FaceTiming me, I quickly accept the call. "Heyyyy...I was out like a light," I say. I'm still kinda groggy, must have been sound asleep. "OMG, so was I, it's almost 3 AM," Lucy replies. I check the time and it is indeed almost 3:00 AM...2:51 to be precise. "I woke up and hit the panic button when I saw the time." she explains. "I kept calling and calling, I thought you were mad at me for not calling earlier since you weren't picking up. "You're not mad at me are you Q? You're still coming next week, right? I've been away too long and you're losing interest..." I cut her off, "Lucy...LUCY!" She finally stops talking, she seems upset, "what's wrong?" "Nothing...everything, she is tearing up a little as she talks. "I just miss you and I'm worried that you won't come to the beach and I miss you Quentin, I really miss you. I couldn't wait to talk to you tonight but I'm so dumb, I fell asleep, and then you wouldn't pick up and I thought that..." Again I cut her off. "Lucy," she finally stops to breathe. Let me ask you a question?" I don't wait for an answer however, I continue, "If I leave right now for Sea Island, I could be there in time to see you off for your morning run. I'm dying to see you Lucy, my car is ready to go, I'll grab my toothbrush, some clean underwear and hit the road. Just say the word and I'm on the way." She smiles just a little, "Q, the way you drive you might make it in time to catch my return from my morning run." I laugh at her little jab, "now that's the Lucy I know," "You're not kidding are you," she says, "I could get you to leave right now, couldn't I?" "Yup...yeah ya could. I really...really want to see you Lucy, if I didn't think your dad would kick my butt, I'd be on the way right now." "Yeah," she says, "he would be bent out of shape for sure. They're all good with you coming next week, but if you showed up tomorrow that could be an issue...with them. It's a different story for me, I want you here _right now_ so I can jump your bones." Her mood has done a complete 180, she is giggling now. "OMG, I can't believe I just said that. You probably think I'm such a ho." "I want to go on the record as saying that I'm wholeheartedly in favor of my bones being jumped immediately upon arrival." She is laughing now, I can tell she feels better. She replies, flashing her wicked little grin, "You can pretty much count on that happening...upon arrival or shortly thereafter." She is all smiles now and has returned to being herself.

"So," I use the two letter word regularly employed by kids everywhere to begin a conversation or change the subject. I'm sure grammarians are repelled when they encounter this usage. Beginning a sentence with an adverb or whatever usage mistake this is will, no doubt, explode the heads of the proper grammar crowd, but I'm a rebel, so... "give me all of the latest from the beach," I say. "How are all the aunts, uncles and cousins? How's the weather? How soon before you kill your mom?" That last question hits the bullseye. She snaps back, "l'm gonna kill her Q, that's for sure. She is driving me completely crazy. She reminds me that I'm a young adult when she wants me to do something for her, but when I want to do anything on my own, especially anything fun, she treats me like I'm twelve, it is soooooo aggravating. Plus, she's always pestering me about you. How's Quentin doing? Are you still talking to him? You two must be getting along well if he's visiting for a week. She's so nosy. I'm tellin ya Q, it never ends with her. If she woke up and heard me talking, she'd be in here trying to find out what we were talking about." "Sounds just like my mom," I tell her. "She is always grilling me about you, she actually asked me the exact same question, _have you been talking to Lucy? "_ I got her though, stopped her right in her tracks." How did you do that, what happened?" Lucy asks. "I rarely am able to knock my mom off her game, so when she was putting me through the wringer about you I said, didn't ask, just told them; _Lucy invited me to visit her beach house and I'm going to Sea Island, Georgia next Sunday._ It was great. There was dead silence, neither of them said anything and I just sat there and let them stew until they recovered." Lucy laughs, then says, "wow, I'd love to do that to my mom, just shut her up, even if it only lasts a minute it would be worth it." "It is," I reply. "When she finally recovered, you know what she said to me? Honest to God Lucy, I'm not making this up, she said, _you two must be getting along well if you're invited to visit her at the beach._ Do you think maybe they have secretly made contact with each other in an effort to spy on us?" "Ha," Lucy is laughing now, "I wouldn't put it past my mom. I can't believe they both said the exact same thing to each of us. I'll tell you something Q, she's not getting in the way of our week together, I don't care how mad she gets, we're gonna have some fun." I quickly reply, "I'm all in for fun, as long as it is with you."

"There is something I need to talk about Lucy, actually I need you to help me decide what to do." OMG Quentin, you sound so serious, is something wrong?" Lucy asks. "Well, I've been dragged into something and I'm unsure how I should respond." "Ok," Lucy replies, "what something are we talking about?" "Remember I told you that Becca Arrington asked me to talk to Lacey for her?" "Yeah," Lucy replies, "I just assumed you we're gonna blow it off. Lacey hates her guts...with good reason." "She does," I reply, "but I'm not sure exactly what to do. I don't owe Becca Arrington the time of day, but Lacey is a different story." "I don't see that you have anything to worry about. Lacey hates her, I'm sure she doesn't want to be reminded of what Becca did to her," Lucy says. "Yeah, exactly Lucy, that's true but I've been thinking about it a little bit." "...and?" Lucy raises her voice tone to form the question. "And...they were friends for a long time, Becca is holding out an olive branch for whatever reason, isn't it Lacey's place to decide what to do about it?" "Q, sometimes you think about things too much," Lucy replies. It's not your job to right all the wrongs or repair all that is broken, you don't always have to _do something."_ Actually, I do indeed, I say to myself. I am the default righter of wrongs, a task bequeathed to me upon the sudden departure of one Margo Roth Speigelman, who was so much better than I when wading through issues like this. "You're right Lucy, you have a good perspective on things, which is why I wanted to talk it through with you," I tell her. "Q, the only reason that Becca wants to make up with Lacey is because her boyfriend is gone and she doesn't really have any friends. She approached Angela at that party to talk to her about UCF." "I know Lucy, Angela pulled me aside to tell me about it, she said it was an awkward encounter." "Let me give you the girl point of view on this one Q, this is simple," she says. "Becca's hunky boyfriend is gone to Florida where there are a million girls hotter than her, many of them with actual personalities I expect." I laugh at that dig. "She alienated everyone in order to land the hot boyfriend and now he's gone and she's all by herself with no friends. It's not your job to do anything about it. I know that you and Lacey are close, my view is that you should tell her what happened and that's it. Unless she asks you to do anything else, you're off the hook Q." "Thanks Lucy, you're absolutely right," I say relieved to have talked this through. "I feel a lot better about this now." She is smirking as she replies, "I'm always right Quentin, the sooner you figure that out the better you're going to be."

"You do have one important job Q," her 1000 watt smile fills m screen. I'm about to hear exactly what this important job is, I guess. ""Ok, Lucy I'll bite...what is it?" Your job is to get your butt to Sea Island as soon as you can so I can have you all to myself." She is flashing her wicked smile now. "Lacey and her hot cousin, your buddies Ben and Radar, Ashley the waitress at Vinny's, anybody else who has their eye on you, Margo, even your mom, they're all going to have to cool their heels, cause I want you all for myself. I might just hold you hostage once you get here," she's giggling as she says it. "Hmmmm, let's see...I'd be on a resort island, in a fancy house on the beach held hostage by the hottest girl ever. Ok...I'm good with all of that," I say, "where do I sign up?" I'm thinking, Ashley? How does she know about that? "Oh Quentin," she says suddenly excited, "come on Saturday, don't wait til Sunday, I'll ask my mom and dad, everybody is leaving by Thursday, they won't mind, I'll ask them." Another day at the beach with the gorgeous Lucy Hanratty, why not? I think. "Hey Lucy, I'd love to come on Saturday, that's for sure but what about your mom and dad? I don't want them mad at me cause I showed up a day early." "No worries Q, I'll handle it" she quickly replies in a conspiratorial tone. She continues, "there's a reason why my friends alway call me _daddy's little girl._ It's because I am." She's smiling like the evil genius in a movie revealing her trump card. "It can be most useful and I save it for when I really want something. I know just how to play it, I might have to concoct some small fib, but I'll have them buying into the extra day in no time. We might have to get our stories straight, if we do, I'll tell you whatever I told them. "I like a girl with a plan," is the only response I can muster, to which she quickly replies, "Yeah Q...I know all about the girl with a plan." It's probably best to say nothing, so that is what I do.

Lucy begins to tell me about everything that is going on at the beach, cousins, aunts, uncles. This happened that happened, we went here, they went there and again I find myself just listening to her talk and watching her facial expressions. I don't say anything, I love to listen to her. She is finally winding down, I check the time, 4:37, we've been talking for over an hour and a half but it seems like just a few minutes. I'm sure she is exhausted, cause I am. Thank God I don't have to work tomorrow. She's fallen asleep now so I end the call and quickly text her.

4:39 AM

Q: Miss you.

A second later, or so it seems, I'm jolted awake by my buzzing phone, Lucy, no doubt as I search for and quickly find my phone. Area code 918, Brooklyn, NY...I don't know...then it hits me, I catapult right out of bed as I accept the call. "Margo...Margo? There is silence on the other end for what seems to me to be forever, but in reality is just a moment, then I hear it. The sound I haven't heard in over two months, the sound that has mesmerized me for my entire life, the sexy, melodious cadence that is exactly as I have imagined it to be. "Ha-low Quentin, it's so good to hear your voice. How are you?" "OMG Margo, "I can't believe it, I'm so happy to hear your voice, it is exactly as I imagine it." Margo continues in her melodious cadence, "You sure know how to tug on a girl's heartstrings Q. That stuff about missing my sexy, melodious voice...I couldn't stop thinking about you all day." I quickly reply, "God Margo, you have no idea how good it is to actually talk to you. You're ok, right...everything is good?" She replies, "I really wanted to hear your voice as well and when I came into work I saw Bobby's cell phone sitting on the counter and I figured you would be excited for a 5:05 AM phone call from your favorite runaway. Also, I'm good, Q. You don't have to worry about me." I'm having trouble paying attention to what she is saying, I've reverted to my 10 year old self when I just wanted to listen to Margo speak, but I quickly rally. "Margo, I'm super excited for anything from you anytime, and...you are my favorite runaway." I can only talk for a minute Q but I wanted to tell you that I probably won't be able to make it to the library next Sunday." "Ok," I reply. "I'm sure that you are doing something Margotastic." "I hope to be, she replies, and I love to hear you say that word Q. I'll email you when we can chat again, I'll have a lot of good stuff to tell you. I expect that you will be writing in your journal by that time." "I'm getting started on that later this morning Margo. I can't wait to read what you been writing since Agloe," I tell her. She starts to say something but then suddenly, "Oh shit, here comes Bobby, I gotta go Q." "Margo," I snap back before she ends the call, "I love you...unconditionally." "I know," she replies. "Soon Quentin...soon." she says then ends the call.

How long have I been standing in the middle of my room, I ask myself? I'm holding my phone and staring at the window. Although it is not yet sunrise, daybreak is upon us I realize. I look at my phone, it's 5:44 AM, what the heck just happened, I can't believe what she said, I can't believe she called me. I'm replaying the conversation in my mind verbatim, analyzing every word, every inflection in her voice. I tugged on her heartstrings? She wanted to hear my voice too? Geez, something weird must have taken place to make her act...sentimental? Not very Margolike at all.

I am really happy about one thing though, I told her I love her... _told her._ I don't care how she responds...well actually, I care more than anything how she responds, but I'm sticking to my guns. No more equivocation or wishful thinking, when it comes to Margo, she is gonna hear exactly how I feel about her. One of these days she is likely to disappear, never to be heard from again, so I really don't have a lot to lose. As long as I remain in contact with her I'm gonna fight for her...for us to be together.

Obviously, I'm going to be a mess for a few days, parsing every syllable of every word she said, trying to understand what she is thinking, what she is doing. Does that phone call mean I have a chance, or was it just a whim, an opportunity seized because on an unattended cell phone. It is likely that I'll never know. If she really wanted me that phone call would have been Margo asking me to fly to New York and drive her home so we can be together. Maybe she is just toying with me like she did in high school...I have feelings for you but I'm keeping you a thousand miles away because you are inconvenient, you are muddling my plans. Maybe Lacey is right after all. My phone buzzes.

7:15 AM

Lucy: Miss you more.

Read 7:15 AM

Holy crap, 7:15, I say to myself. I'm still standing in the same spot holding my phone. I'm gonna drive myself crazy with this shit. Lucy is probably leaving for her morning run. Lucy, what the hell am I gonna do about Lucy, I want to be with her too. I'm never gonna be able to sort this out. I can't reconcile my feelings for Margo and my feelings for Lucy. I decide on the spot that I'm going to let everything play out, whatever happens happens. In the end they will probably both end up hating my guts. I'm back in the rack, I have nothing going on today and I've been awake most of the night. I could really use some sleep. Well, Quentin...you always wanted pretty girls to pay attention to you, I think to myself as I drift off.

I'm laying on my back in the field at Agloe, the tall grass is swaying in the breeze. Margo is laying next to me, her leg is thrown over mine, her arm is draped across my body, her head resting comfortably on my shoulder. I can feel her measured breathing on my neck as she sleeps. It is exactly as it happened in Agloe. Her eyes slowing open, she is so sleepy, she looks at me and smiles. She slides across me and our lips meet in an ever so tender kiss. "Oh Quentin" she says, but it's not Margo, it's Ben, middle school version, kissing me. WTF... "QUENTIN, wake up bro, it's like 2:00 in the afternoon, are you in a coma? Come on dude."

Nothing like dreaming about making out with Ben Starling then waking up to actually see his mug hovering over my face to ruin my day...or send me directly to counseling. "Whaaaaattt...leave me aloooooone, I need sleep. Go awaaaay." I say as I attempt to turn over and go back to sleep, but they won't quit, they being my lifelong friends Ben and Radar. Right now I wish they were friends with someone else though. "So I guess I can't get rid of you guys, can I." Note to self, change the garage door entry code. Ben replies, "come on bro, wake up, the girls are gone for the day, let's do something." I quickly reply, "why don't you two nitwits play GTA all afternoon and I'll go back to sleep?" "Q, it's two in the afternoon, you left last night around midnight, what time did you go to bed?" Radar asks. Not sure, seven something I think." "Seven," Radar says incredulously, "what the hell were you doing all night?" "Nothing really...talking I guess, I'm tired man, just play the game and let me sleep," I'm pleading with them now. Ben looks at Radar and says, "he just wants to go back to sleep so he can dream about his many girlfriends, none of which are actually here." "Haha," is my lame response. He was cooing like a happy baby when I was trying to wake him up." Ben turns to me and says, "which one were you dreaming about Q?" My smartass reply is ready to go, "none of them, I was dreaming I was making out with you Ben." Radar cracks up and I continue, "you're such a pretty boy that deep down I want to make out with you." Radar is laughing like crazy, "Lacey has some real competition now dude," he says to Ben. "I can't wait to tell her." "I get it Q, everybody wants a piece of me cause I'm so hot," Ben says as he hops in bed with me. "Get off me dude, you're like the last person I want to make out with." I push him off my bed and say, "play the fuckin game and let me sleep, will ya?" They're still laughing at me but mercifully they actually do as I ask and start the game.

I knew if I could get them to start playing the video game they would leave me alone, and as expected, they become transfixed in an instant. I roll over, pull the covers over my head and actually do get some more sleep. Next thing I know it's almost 3:30 and they are still playing GTA. Radar notices that I am exhibiting signs of life and says, "you're phone's blowing up Q." It takes me a few moments to shake out the cobwebs then I reply, "my phone's blowing up?" raising my voice tone to form the question. "Did I fall asleep and wake up in 2008?" Radar gives me an odd look, the dig goes over his head because he continues to explain himself as if I didn't understand. "Dude...your phone has been buzzing all afternoon...you have a bunch of messages." "Right...ok, thanks." Geez, you can't even insult him, he just doesn't care. My bunch of messages consists of a few snaps from Lucy, and two texts from Ashley. First things first, I must tend to Lucy, damn she is such a hottie I say to myself as I check out the snaps. This time next week, I'll be there, I realize and I'm really stoked for that. I text her.

Today 3:55 PM

Q: Another perfect day at the beach, you look great Lucy, this time next week I'll be there. I am imagining myself at the beach with you.

Ashley...not sure what to do here, I read the texts.

2:31 PM

Ash: Hi Q, it's Ashley. Don't forget, I'm having some friends over for a pool party and cookout today about 5 ish. Do you need directions to my house?

3:15 PM

Ash: Bring your bathing suit, we're all gonna be in the pool.

Hmmmm. Wouldn't mind seeing those wheels again, I think. I picture her wearing those impossibly short cut off jeans. It will be worth it to go for that reason alone. I haven't made up my mind if I'm actually going, but I sure am considering it.

Q: Ok, 5 ish.

Read 3:59 PM

"Where are the girls?" I ask. Ben enthusiastically replies, "Bro, they're gone for the day. They went shopping, then they went for a spa day, then they're going somewhere for dinner, so like I was saying...let's do something." Radar says, "like what are we talking about do something? The only thing we ever do is play video games, we're no good at anything else. If it wasn't for Angela and Lacey, we would be recluses." "There's got to be something happening in this town," Ben says, "we probably know someone who is partying right now, we just have to figure out who it is then hit the party." Radar snaps back, "Well you're mister popularity, if anything is happening tonight I figure you must know about it." "He knows everything Radar, right after he texts Lacey and asks her if anything is going on tonight," I say. "Haha," Ben replies, "I know lots of stuff, it's not always Lacey," he's defending his recently acquired coolness now. "Ok then, out with it," Radar is riding him now. "Tell us Ben...tell us where we are going tonight to have some fun." "I'm on it...I'm on it. Just give me a little time to come up with something." Ben is defensive now, he says to Radar, "what about you bro, you would never go anywhere at all except Q's bedroom if Angela didn't take you." "Ben," seems like Radar is agitated now, "the only reason I go anywhere is because that's what Angela wants to do. I want her to be happy, if she wants to go shopping, I'll go shopping. If she wants to stay in and watch a movie, I'm watching a movie." I really don't care what anyone else is doing." I keep my mouth shut but I am throughly enjoying this skirmish because, 1: Ben's newfound cool persona is under scrutiny, and 2: they are skirmishing each other and leaving me unscathed. Ben is flustered now so he tries to deflect the assault in my direction. "Well, what are you doing tonight? Don't you have your choice of girlfriends Q?" Oh wait, they all...there's a tap on my door and it immediately swings open, it's my mom. "Hi Radar, hi Ben, she says. "Hi Mrs. Jacobsen...hello Mrs Jacobsen" they reply, a half beat off. They sure do have that down pat I say to myself. "I haven't seen you two lately, how are you both doing?" she asks. Again, not quite simultaneously they reply, "we're good...we're ok." "Quentin, do you feel alright, I checked on you about noon and you were still sleeping. What time did you get in last night? she asks. "About 12:30 mom," I reply. "I'm just taking advantage of my last chance to sleep in, once school starts, I'll be getting up early for class." "Your dad and I just got home, do you guys want anything to eat?" Nah mom, we're not hungry right now. "Ok," she replies, if you want something later, let me know. "I really like your new hairstyle Ben," my mom says as she closes the door. "Sweeeeet, your mom likes my haircut and she's still hot," Ben says to me. I've heard this from him for so long that it no longer registers with me. I shrug my shoulders, "whatever," is all I have to say. My phone buzzes, it's the beach.

Today: 4:27 PM

Lucy: Imagine this week, be here next week. I have something to tell you, FaceTime late?

Q: I love our electronic rendezvous in the wee hours of the morning Lucy. Keep trying until I wake up.

Lucy: You know I will.

Read 4:28 PM.

"Speaking of food," Ben says, "let's go over to Vinny's later and get a pizza loaded with unhealthy toppings...and let's order French fries too." "So Ben," I begin to chide him, "if you like that so much, why don't you order that every time we are there?" "Yeah Ben," Radar jumps in, "what stopped you from ordering that when we were there the other night, were they out of pepperoni and sausage?" Ben ignores our jabs and says, "maybe we'll see someone we know that knows about something happening tonight." "Good idea," Radar replies. "Ashley can fawn all over Q while she waits on our table," they are about to gang up on me. "Ashley has the night off," I reply nonchalantly, which stops them right in their tracks. "Oh...so now you know Ashley's work schedule Q?" Ben says raising his voice inflection to form the question. "Nah," Radar replies, he just stalks her." "Haha, you guys are just too funny." They haven't even begun making erection jokes, I'm sure that will be saved for tomorrow, when Avery is with us. Soon enough they revert to form and begin to play GTA again. While that is going on I head for my shower because I just decided that I'm going to Ashley's pool party. I'm in no hurry, I shower and get ready to go. While I'm in the shower I get a snap from Lucy, it is a selfie closeup. She is wearing her WPHS hat with the winged foot insignia, her and her Oakley shades. I can see her phone in her hand and and behind it the beach and the ocean in the reflection of her Oakleys. Her beautiful smile is on display, splashed across my phone screen. Caption, "Hi Q." It makes me smile but I also feel a pang of loneliness or longing for her. I reply, "You're beautiful," which is awfully lame, but I don't care cause she is and something about seeing her today really makes me miss her. It seems like she has been away too long and that missed time, that space between us, won't fully compress and let us pick up where we left off. While I'm conducting an exercise in worrying, I am absentmindedly looking for a bathing suit, which I find eventually and get dressed, tee shirt, bathing suit and deck shoes. My best friends are oblivious to what I'm doing and I just sit down on my desk chair and watch while they play. Finally Ben looks at me and says, "dude, what's with the swimsuit? "This is what most people wear to a pool party Ben," I quickly reply. "What pool party are you talking about? We can't go to Lacey's until they get back tonight." he explains. "Did I say I was going to Lacey's" I ask. "Wait...you're going to a pool party? Who is having a pool party? Holding out on us Q, what's up with that?" Ben says. They have turned the game off and they're both looking at me. "Well I hesitate to tell you guys about it because I'm not sure you two are invited." I say in a smartass manner. "What," Radar says incredulously, "what party could you possibly be attending where we wouldn't be invited?" "Why do you guys want to know? Do you want to go to the party, cause I could text the host and ask if it was ok if I invite you two nitwits?" I tell them in a matter of fact way. Ben is all wound up now, he says, "The whole time we were here talking about looking for something to do and you knew about a pool party. When were you gonna tell us?" I'll send the text right now, but it's gonna cost you guys," I tell them. "Cost us, whaddya mean cost us, cost us what?" Ben is agitated. "Silence," I say, a little smirk on my face. I can tell this is starting to piss off Ben, he snaps at me, "why do you have to be so damn cryptic Q...the mysterious Quentin Jacobsen. How about you get over yourself and just tell us what you're talking about." "Silence from both of you regarding my embarrassing moment last night is the price of an invite to the pool party where at minimum one smoking hot girl will be attending."

They both revert to their 6th grade selves as soon as I say that. Radar replies, "I dunno Q, that's a stiff price to pay." Ben follows, "I sure will be hard to keep that to ourselves." "If we don't, Q will have a bone to pick with us." With each juvenile joke, they are cackling longer and louder. "Ok guys, I'll see you later," I say to them. "Ok Quentin, we swear," Radar says. "Ben?" Yeah, yeah...alright. But I'm not gonna stop riding you about it in private," he says. Ok, I'll text her. I pick up my phone.

Today, 5:15 PM

Q: OTW to your house soon. Ben and Radar are with me, ok to bring them?

The reply is almost instantaneous.

Ash: Sure Q, bring them along. BTW, I'm in your kitchen talking to your mom.

Read 5:15

"Hooollly shiiit" I exclaim as I launch myself past my friends, out of my bedroom and fly to the kitchen. Standing there, hands on her hips, smirk on her face is one Ashley Alexa Ramsey, age sixteen and a half, rising WPHS junior, expert waitress and professional wiseass. Her long dark brown curly/wavy hair is flowing way past her shoulders with a wide headband across the top of her head to corral her locks. She is wearing a pair of Nike slides, the same or similar dangerously short cut off jeans shorts last seen on Friday night, and a flower print bikini top which is strained to the max trying to contain the contents. Her dark skin tone, dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes are offset by the bright colors of her top. "Hi Q," she says, "I figured I better come over and make sure you remembered which house is mine," she says. "I met your mom, she's really nice," she adds even though my mom is standing right there. "Hey Ash, I was ready to go but I couldn't get my loser buddies moving." As I say that my loser buddies appear in the kitchen, see Ashley standing there and are instantaneously rendered speechless. No words can accurately describe the looks on their faces. "Q is coming to my pool party, do you guys want to come too?" Ashley asks. "There are a few of my friends you will probably know from band. Ben and Radar finally recover enough to give her the not quite simultaneous, "Yeah, we'd like to...sure, ok," answer. "Great," she says, "come on Q," she slides her arm under mine to escort me, "I don't want you to get lost. Bye Mrs Jacobsen, I'll tell my mom you said hi," and out the door we go with the suddenly quiet Ben and Radar following.

Across our yard we go toward Ashley's house, over the property line which is defined by a row of trees intermittently spaced. Now we are in Ramsey's yard heading toward their pool and cabana. My first thought is that this is a really nice set up, how could I have possibly missed this, right behind my house for years. My second thought is if Ashley didn't work at Vinny's, I would never have met her or noticed any of this. Going forward, I should try to pay more attention to my surroundings, I realize. As soon as we get to the pool, everyone seems to stop for a second. All eyes are on the new arrivals, but any awkwardness quickly passes because Radar, and especially Ben seem to know most of the people present. I hear someone say, "hey Ben...what are you guys doing here?" "Then his reply, "we were at Quentin's house. Yeah...he lives right there." Then replying to a question, "Yup, she walked over to get us." Ashley still has me by the arm and steers me around the pool toward the cabana. We sit down at a table with an umbrella and she says, "bad news Q, no alcohol, my mom is home and my dad will be home in an hour or so. "No worries Ash," I reply. The last time I drank a lot," she finishes the sentence, "you almost got hit by a car. Yeah Q, l know all about it...and your buddy Ben sure can tell a story." She is laughing a little as she says this because Ben's recounting of Q almost gets hit by a car is 100 times better than what actually took place.

While we are sitting at the table talking, I'm absorbing everything visual about Ashley, and there sure is a lot of everything, I say to myself. I got a quick preview last Friday of what was hidden under those black waitress togs, today I'm seeing the full length feature. If Margo is curvy and Lucy is athletic, let's say that Ashley is shapely. Although her figure is very appealing, that is not what I find so attractive. Her long, dark brown hair, thick and curly, flowing about a third of the way past her shoulders, her dark skin tone and her dark brown eyes are what I find to be alluring. I can't believe this girl has lived a few hundred feet from... "Q...oh Q...are you still with us?" she asks, her patented smirk is displayed. "Yeah Ash, sure am," I reply." Just enjoying the ambiance of the Ramsey Country Club." Good thing she can't read my mind, she would run my ass right out of here. "Seems like Ben and Radar know everyone here, I say, I'm not sure I know anyone but you. Are all these kids your age?" I ask her. "Most are my friends," she replies, "but some are my brother's friends. He's in the band, that's why so many band kids are here."

"So...Quentin," there's that kid friendly, two letter, let's change the subject word again, "can I ask you something?" "Of course Ashley, you may ask me anything," I say trying to sound serious but I can't suppress a little smile. "I know that you have been dating Lucy Hanratty a little bit, and...I've heard plenty about Margo Speigelman, but I want to know if you would ever want to hang out with your other neighbor?" She continues, "I like you and your friends Q, your squad is the only one I'm happy to see come into the restaurant. I know you're going to college soon and I'm only a junior, but maybe we could hang out once in a while, just do some stuff before the summer is over. All I've been doing this summer is working and sitting by the pool on my days off. My parents make me bring the car home right after work, they won't let me do too much, but if I wanted to do something with the right people, or the right person, I think they would cut me some slack," I remind myself of the self created Pemberton corollary, never make assumptions about anyone and keep my options open. With that in mind, I reply, "You mean hang out like we're doing right now?" I ask, but I answer my own question. "Yeah...I think it would be fun Ashley." That gets me a rare smile and she replies, "I've been bored to tears this summer so far, I'm trying to change that."

Suddenly, she springs out of her chair, "here comes my mom, I have to intercept her before she scares everyone away," she says as she walks toward her mom. Mrs. Ramsey sees Ben and Radar, says hi to them, telling them she remembers them from band. Ashley is there now and she says, "mom this is Marcus and Ben, they are two of my best customers at Vinny's." Ben chats her up a little bit, no doubt sizing her up for inclusion in his list of hot moms. A kid comes over to talk to me, obviously Ashley's brother. "I'm Luke," he says, you're Quentin, right?" I don't answer because he keeps talking. "I think that was cool how you got those guys to pay for the bikes they destroyed." I ask him, "was your bike one of them?" "No," he replies, "but a couple of my friends bikes got crushed and they were really happy to get the money." "Well," I say, "it wasn't really...here comes Mrs. Ramsey with Ashley not far behind, so I revert to the tactic that has been working when I find myself facing someone's parents. I go on the offensive. I get up from my chair and say "hello Mrs. Ramsey, I'm..." she finishes the sentence, "Quentin, you're Connie's boy."she continues, "I used to see your mom all the time, but our paths don't cross so much anymore." Ashley is standing behind her mom, making faces as her mom talks. I can't really look at her or I'll start laughing so I quickly reply, "l'll be sure to tell her that I met you Mrs. Ramsey. "Please tell her that I said hello," she says, all the while Ashley is mimicking her mom. Luke is laughing at his sister and I'm trying really hard not to laugh. She quickly turns to Ashley, almost catching her in the act. "Do you want me to get everything for the grill?" "That would be good mom," she replies as Mrs. Ramsey heads toward her house. "Thanks Ash, you're trying to make your mom hate me?" She replies, "Just wanted to see how you hold up Q...you did well." she tells me.

Mrs. Ramsey returns with the burgers and hot dogs, Ashley says, "Q, give me a hand with the grill." I'm pressed into service, flipping the burgers and turning the hot dogs, which I really don't mind doing. I kinda like grilling truth be told, so I tell Ashley, "sit down and relax Ash, today, I'll wait on you...I'll be expecting an appropriate tip as well." "A little roll reversal, I like it," she exclaims. Your tip will be commensurate with the level of service," she adds. So I actually "wait" on Ashley. She wants a burger, medium rare, which I cook for her. I get her a little macaroni salad, some watermelon cubes in a little bowl and a solo cup of sweet tea. I get a napkin, plastic fork and spoon and deliver everything to her table. "Would you like ketchup for your burger young lady?" I say to her. "Yes, please," she replies. I find the ketchup bottle and return to the table. "How is everything Ash?" I ask. "Great," she says. "You know you are the only person who calls me Ash? and...you're the only person allowed to call me Ash." Didn't know that...so how am I doing?" "Q, you couldn't be doing any better than you are right now," she says. "Do you want anything else Ash?" flaunting the green light given, "I'd be happy to get it for you." I'm good Q, thanks. I'm going to sit here and enjoy myself while I watch you cook for everyone," she says, smirking.

I tend to my grilling duties with vigor. There are only two items on the menu, hamburgers and hot dogs, so hard to screw up that even I can get the job done. I'm enduring insults being hurled my way from my friends; for example, "don't set yourself on fire there SpongeBob." Ben has a whole new audience to entertain, and Radar is a willing accomplice. They are doing a great job, everyone is having a good laugh at my expense. My pals are having a terrific time, they know most of these kids but haven't seen them since before school ended. Ben is the center of attention. Last time they saw him he was regular Ben, now he is trendy Ben, the well dressed and perfectly coiffed boyfriend of the lovely Lacey Pemberton. I'm actually having fun cooking for these kids though, they are all talkative while I make their burgers. They seem so young, I realize. They are only two and three years younger than we are, I can only imagine how I appeared to the older kids when I was a sophomore. Little wonder why I was invisible, I tell myself. I keep looking at Ashley, I get a couple of thumbs up or a goofy face from her as she appears to be enjoying every minute of our impromptu role reversal. I also notice something that I can relate to. Ashley is sitting quietly by herself, taking in the whole party. It dawns on me that even though she is " _sixteen years and six months, thanks for noticing me Q"_ she doesn't appear to me to be as young as her friends.

These kids parents must not feed them because they have gone through all of the burgers and dogs. I'm about to ask Ashley if there is any food left, but she must have been anticipating the question. As soon as I look her way she displays a mischievous smile and says, "there's more food in the kitchen Q, my mom will get it for you." Ramsey's house is set up not unlike ours. Because they have the pool and cabana, they have a small deck adjacent to the pool decking. I walk up the steps and open the sliding door. Mrs. Ramsey is in the kitchen. "Ashley said you have more hot dogs and hamburgers, the first batch is gone already," I say to her. "Oh my God," she says, she seems upset. "What is Ashley doing? I can't believe she sent you in here to get something, it's her party." She gets a big plate out of the fridge and heads for the door but I stop her. "It's all good Mrs. Ramsey, Ashley has waited on me and my friends for the whole summer, I told her to relax and enjoy herself for a while. It's a little role reversal, I'm waiting on her today." Mrs. Ramsey laughs when I tell her what I'm doing. "I'm expecting a big tip too," I add. "You kids are something else," she says as hands me the plate and I return to the grill. After an initial rush, the line for burgers is dwindling now. "Do you guys want any of these? The cook is finished for the day shortly." Ben and Radar reply in their familiar, not quite simultaneous manner, "Yeah, sure Q...ok Q, I want one." While I'm cooking burgers for Ben and Radar, I tell Ashley that I am expecting a very generous tip. Again, she replies, "your tip will be commensurate with the service provided, we will discuss the details later Q." I finish cooking for Ben and Radar, turn off the grill and cover the food. They are headed toward Ashley so I have to get over there before they put any ideas in her head. She's already a wiseass, I think, she doesn't need any help from them. We all sit at the table and Ben immediately starts. "Hey Ashley, are you planning on attending boarding school in another state? Are your parents planning a move to California? Spending the rest of the summer at the beach perhaps? She's laughing with them because she knows what they are talking about. "Haha, you guys are hysterical...don't you have some new Ben Starling fan club members to tend to over there? "We're good right here Q," Radar says. "Thanks for inviting us Ashley, Q was holding out on us." "He's so selfish," Ben says, "I think he wanted you all to himself." "That's a start," she replies. "We can take a hint Ashley, he's all yours... and we don't want him back. Come on Ben, let's go over there," Radar says pointing to a group of band kids. They get up to leave and Ben says, "seriously, thanks for inviting us Ashley, this is fun. We haven't seen some of these people since before school ended."

"My friends are dicks" is all I can muster. She laughs, "Yeah it's great to have friends. I hope you guys can hang around, we're going to stay here until my parents shut it down." Ashley says. "Yeah Ashley," I can stay, I checked my calendar, tonight is open." "Those two will be going soon I predict, as soon as the girls get home from their spa day. The question is whether or not they tell the girls they were here." I explain. "It's an interesting dilemma for them. They will want to tell them that I came to your pool party so they can continue tease me about you." "Continue?" Ashley raises her voice tone to form the question. "Oh yeah, they ride me about you every time we go to Vinny's. But...then they will have to say that they came here without telling the girls beforehand, so it could get interesting. "It's around 8 now, I give them an hour tops before the phones start and they depart." She grins just a little at my stupid wordplay. "So...what do you mean by they ride you?" she asks. "Well...not sure where to begin," I say. "The short version is that for the most part I have become the target for most of the friendly abuse, perhaps you may have noticed that when we are at Vinny's. Previously, Ben was the primary target, but now that he has transmogrified into boyfriend Ben, he avoids most of the heat. Anyway, because you are friendly and have a good personality, they have decided that that you are crushing on me." Ashley is just looking at me, she is focused on me to the exclusion of everything going on. It is an expressionless look and I'm thinking she is about to get really ticked off, but I'm in the middle of this, there is nowhere else to go so I continue. "Then, when you told them that you gave me a ride home from the party and that I had no idea you lived right behind me, well, that's the kind of stuff on which they thrive. "They might not be wrong" Ashley says, her gaze affixed to mine. "I should be so lucky," I quickly reply, which 1, is true 2, changes the mood and 3, makes her smile. I have observed that she doesn't really smile a lot, maybe she saves it for when it really counts.

"About my gratuity...I'm expecting a generous tip for tonight's services," I bring this up to change the subject to something we can joke about. Things seemed like they were getting a little awkward. "Well," she answers smirking, "I really enjoyed the role reversal, I could get used to you catering to my every whim." "I'll bet," I reply, but the truth is I was happy to do it. I'm enjoying spending time with her even though I can't quite figure her out. She is friendly and outgoing, but at the same time she seems reticent, guarded. Also, she is crazy hot. She has a unique, sultry look. To me, she seems mysterious. "I'm all good with a little whim catering Ash, whim away." "When I want something from you Quentin, there will be no mistaking it" she says with just the slightest hint of a smile. "Right now what I want is for you to stay here tonight and hang out with me, I'm really enjoying having you around." "Ok Ash." I get up to get something to drink, I'm thirsty from all of that grilling. "Another sweet tea?" "Sure Q, that would be good." I head for the cabana where all the food and drinks are, pour a couple of sweets teas over ice in those ubiquitous red solo cups and return to the table. I set the cup in front of her and return to my seat. As soon as I set down she gets up, drags her chair right next to mine, then she pulls a third chair in front of us, sits down and props up her feet. "Take a load off your feet Q, you worked hard this evening." I prop up my feet and we both are sitting there watching the summer sunset. I don't say anything and neither does she. It seems as though she likes to sit back and watch the world go by, much like I do.

It doesn't take too long for Ben and Radar to receive their marching orders. They come over to where we are sitting, thank Ashley for inviting them, say goodbye to everyone and head back toward my house. "You nailed that one, Q," Ashley says after they are out of earshot. I chuckle a little bit, but then I tell her, "yeah, I did, but it's all good for those guys. They are both in their comfort zone right now, especially Ben." I explain our whole summer agenda, have fun, no responsibilities, time is suspended, we are not talking about college because it is a million days away. "Interesting," Ashley replies, "I get it," is her response. I continue by telling her how Ben had such a miserable time in high school, but if it bothered him he never really showed it. "Now, he is living the dream," I explain. "He and Lacey are the most unlikely perfect couple ever, but Lacey is in charge, that's for sure." Ashley seems to be processing all of this information, comparing it with her own observations perhaps until finally she says, "l like her, I can tell she is a kind person." "She is, I like her too Ashley, we have become fast friends." Talking about Lacey reminds me that I have to address the unpleasant Becca issue. I grab my phone and text her.

Today 9:09 PM

Q: We need to talk tomorrow.

Lacey: Are you ok, what's wrong Q?

Q: I'm good Lace, I just need to tell you something before we all get together. I don't want to ruin tomorrow.

Lace: Whoa, sounds bad.

Q: Nah, just unpleasant.

Lace: Alrighty, tomorrow morning, I'll text you.

Q: K

Read 9:09 PM.

Ashley may be interested in whom I was texting but she gave no outward indication that she was. Some of the other kids are starting to leave. They all stop to say goodbye and thanks to Ashley. "Let's go for a swim Q," she says, "are you up for an evening dip on hot summer night?" "Yeah, sure Ash," is my answer, but I'm thinking that I'd be up for anything this intriguing girl suggests. She is already out of her chair, removes her headband, steps out of her slides, unbuttons and wiggles out of her cut offs, revealing the bottom of her swimsuit which is black. Let's just say that Ashley puts the capital S in Shapely and leave it at that. She takes a few steps to the pool's edge and jumps in. "Get your butt in here Q, she says even though I am halfway to the pool's edge myself. In an effort to appear cool, I attempt to replicate Lucy's two footed, bounce off the pool edge dive into the pool, with mixed results. I almost pull it off but dorks should never attempt anything requiring athletic ability. My foot slips and I only get a partial hop which causes me to head first flop into the pool. I surface laughing, "my foot slipped," I say. "No style points for that one, Q," she says with a smirk on her face. The water feels good. To say that it is a hot Orlando summer night is redundant, virtually every summer night in Orlando is hot. We move to the shallow end of the pool, sitting on the pool steps and I'm thinking that I really don't know a lot about Ashley. I met some of her friends today. I know that she works a lot, she lives right behind me and that she is " _sixteen years and six months, thanks for noticing me Q,"_ but that's about it. "Ashley." "Yes Q?" she replies. You know a lot about me, you've met my friends, you know where I live." She laughs a little at my wisecrack. "Other than you're a great waitress, I know hardly anything about you. Tell me something about Ashley Ramsey." "Really Q, there's not much to tell. I work at Vinny's, I'm your neighbor but you never knew it, I'm going to be a junior when school starts. You met my friends, that's about it," she tells me. "Come on Ash, there's gotta be more than the obvious. What books do you like, what music? How about movies, what are your favorites?" I ask attempting to prompt her. "You know Q, I've read some good books but I'm not an avid reader, I listen to music but I'm not obsessed with it and I enjoy a good movie but I'm not a movie buff. I'm sure you find me uninteresting. I know you hang with those brainy types, well read, well spoken and well versed in popular culture. I'm not one of those people." "Brainy types?" I respond in mock horror, "you've met my two best friends, you know they can be nitwits." She laughs a little, "I get it Q, but I know they're smart, they just act dumb for fun." "Ok, how about this?" I try a different tack because she is anything but uninteresting, "tell me something about yourself that you've never told anyone. It doesn't have to be some big, life changing thing. It can be something simple like, l wear socks in bed...something silly."

A long period of silence ensues. Ashley is sitting next to me on the pool steps, head down, she is staring into the water. I don't say a word, don't move. This is not an awkward or uncomfortable silence because I realize what is happening. Ashley is zoning out, thinking about something or reliving something in her mind. She is staring at the water, but what she really sees is something in her mind's eye, some event or timeline from her past. I immediately recognize this behavior because it is exactly what I do. This is what everyone else sees when my twisted, tortured mind starts working overtime. So I wait. I give her time to think about whatever she is thinking and eventually she returns from wherever her thoughts had carried her. "I was ugly when I was a little girl," she says. She is still looking straight ahead, reliving something that was unpleasant at the very least. My immediate thought is that perhaps she never saw herself in a good light, because I doubt that she ever was ugly, or anything close to it. I don't respond right away though as I never expected her to reveal something so personal, I would have been good with _I wear socks in bed_. It is time for me to say something. "Ashley...that is something I find hard to believe." "I was ugly and I was miserable," she is still staring straight ahead, but she turns to me and locks her piercing dark brown eyes with mine as she continues. "And...I've never talked about it with anyone until right now." Ashley seems to want to talk about this, unload the burden, not unlike Lacey when she unloaded her Margo theory on me so I assume the amateur psychologist role. "Tell me about it Ash." "I was 5' 7" in 6th grade," she begins, "only I weighed about 80 pounds. I was so skinny, all arms and legs, my feet seemed too big for my body. My hair was a frizzy mess, I wore these stupid glasses that were too big for my face and I never smiled because for years I had a mouth full of braces. I was so tall and skinny that my mom had trouble finding clothes that fit me. No matter what I wore I looked like a refugee. Middle school was not fun for me Quentin, I had no friends and nothing to do. Girls shunned me because of my appearance and boys...well you can imagine what boys thought about me. They used to call me Frizzy Lizzie. My mom kept my hair short so it would be easier on her, but my hair cut short is not a sight anyone wants to see." Her eyes are locked onto mine as she pours out all of her middle school angst. I know exactly how she feels because I had a similar unhappy trip through the middle school and I tell her exactly that. "I was small, skinny, awkward and unsure of myself when I was in the middle school Ashley. Until a few months ago, I only had two friends, Ben and Radar. The three of us were in the same boat so we banded together for survival." She continues, "Sometime after my thirteenth birthday, something happened, my body slowly started to change. Three years later, here I am. I have friends, guys are always talking to me now, and I have a life, but I still feel like I did when looked the way I did then, not the way I look now." She is still locked on to my eyes. It feels like she is looking right through them into my mind as though she can see what I'm thinking. So I say exactly what I'm thinking. "I see you the way you are Ashley, and I'm not talking about your appearance. I really like the person I see when I look at you." Her gaze remains locked onto mine, but ever so slowly a smile begins to form until an actual full tilt smile breaks out. Her Orthodontist did a great job, I say to myself, her teeth are perfect. "Thanks, Quentin, you're so sweet. I'm sorry for unloading all of this on you, I'm sure you think I'm insane. Tomorrow there will be a high fence between our houses because the girl next door is a lunatic," she says, laughing a little. "Truth be told Ash, the girl next door is a kindred spirit."

"Come on Q," she says, "let's get out of the pool." She seems different, unburdened, if you will. We get out of the pool and Ashley grabs a beach towel and dries me off, then she wraps the towel around herself, grabs me by the hand and steers me toward a lounge chair. I sit down, lay back and swing my legs up on the lounge. She unwraps the towel, and lays down next to me on her side. She says, "well Q, you wanted to know something about me that no one else knows." "I'm glad you told me Ash," I reply, "now we share a secret." We do Quentin, that's some secret isn't it?" We talk for quite some time, or actually she talks and I listen. Her story is basically the ugly duckling tale, I realize as I'm listening. Odd in appearance, mocked and shunned because she looks different, she slowly blossoms into a beautiful swan. She explains how she is struggling with her newfound status. My mind is going a mile a minute while she talks, I realize that there are several valuable currencies in our teenage world. Your family is wealthy...that is valuable. If you are cool or funny, athletic or super smart, these are all things of value. The currency of record is appearance however. If you are good looking you have all the social advantages in the teenage world. I've observed it firsthand with Margo and Lacey. If you're hot, you're on top, especially for girls. Ashley never asks me for advice, and I never offer any. I decide that she just needed to tell her story to someone with a sympathetic ear.

I open my eyes to see the stars splashed across the night sky, she is asleep, her head resting comfortably on my shoulder, her leg thrown over mine and her arm draped across my chest. I can feel her measured breathing on my neck and for a few moments I think I'm dreaming the Margo dream. This time it's not a dream, I'm awake, in Ashley's back yard and she is laying next to me, sound asleep. I remain motionless, asking myself what are the odds this is actually happening? It doesn't last long however, Mrs. Ramsey opens the kitchen door and calls, "Ashley, are you two still out there?" The sound of the sliding door and her mom's voice instantly wakes her and she leaps off the lounge chair. "Yea mom we're right here, Quentin is helping me clean up." "Ok honey, that's nice...it's after eleven," her mom says firing a warning shot as she closes the door. I'm sitting on the edge of the lounge chair smiling at her. "Was I asleep Q?" she asks. Yup...out like a light," I tell her, neglecting to mention that I dozed off for a minute or so myself. "Well Q, that means you are the first boy I ever slept with." Her wiseass smirk is on full display. Again I reply, "l should be so lucky." Hearing Mrs. Ramsey say it is after eleven is most assuredly aimed at me, I say, "I can take a hint Ash, I think your mom wants me out of here." "OMG this place is like a prison," she says, they never let me do anything. What does she think is gonna happen out here?" "I dunno Ash," I reply with a little smirk. "If she knew what I was thinking she would have chased me outta here hours ago." "Shut up...you are _such_ a brat," She is attempting to act offended, but she is laughing. "Come on Q, I'll point you in the right direction," she says pulling me up from the chair. "Just walk straight ahead between those two trees and you'll be home in no time." I quickly reply, "thanks for inviting me Ash, I had fun." "Don't forget Q, we're hanging out again soon, right?" She has assumed her default pose, hands on her hips. I start to acknowledge her but she continues. "Next time, we're going somewhere...your choice, I'll text you." Ok Ash, I'll be good to go," I reply as I walk across the lawn toward my house. When I get to the tree line I look back and she is in the same spot, hands on her hips. Perhaps she is making sure I get home, I wave to her and head for my house.

That certainly was an interesting evening, I'm thinking as I go through the kitchen and into my bedroom. I'm not quite sure what to make of Ashley however. She didn't seem like she wanted to make out with me even though it was obvious she wanted me around. One thing is certain though, when she was laying next to me, her incredible body was pressed against mine and I was starting to lose it. I decide I'm not going to try and figure out Ashley, I'll just go with the flow. I get in bed and cradle my phone. I know Lucy will be calling sooner or later. I can't wait to talk to her. My beach trip is getting closer and I'm getting more excited to go by the day. I must have fallen into a sound, dreamless sleep because when I am awakened by my buzzing phone it seems like no time has passed, but in reality I have been asleep for about two hours. "OMG I was beginning to think you lapsed into a coma," she says smiling her perfect smile. I'm struggling to get my bearings and she is laughing at me. "Lucy...hi...I always feel better when I see that smile," is my still somewhat disoriented supply. "Nice bed hair Q, you look like you have been asleep for a week. You weren't hitting Lacey's wine stash again were you?" she says, still laughing at me. "Pretty sure I'll never drink wine again," I tell her. "I love getting your snaps Lucy, they makes me smile every time." Except that one were your asshole neighbor has his paws all over you...wasn't smiling at that one, I say to myself. "I miss you and I can barely wait for Sunday," I say. "So...Quentin...that's what I wanted to tell you," she says in a slightly halting manner. Here we go, I don't like the tone of this I say to myself. Plus, she called me Quentin, that's never good. I don't say anything, I just wait for the inevitable bad news. "Do you think that maybe you might want to come on Saturday instead of Sunday? I worked it out with my parents," she says, her wicked little grin fills my phone screen. Are you fuckin kidding me, I say to myself. If I show up at 12:01 AM that's Saturday, right? I have a different response for Lucy though. "OMG, you pulled it off," I say to her. Nothing is stopping me from leaving on Saturday. "You're sure it's ok with your mom and dad?" "Yeah Q, they're all good with it, I worked it out with my dad, we just have to get our story straight." "Awesome Lucy, Saturday it is...one less day till I see you, I'm ready to jump out of my skin I'm so pumped right now. So, what's our story?" "Well," she begins, "it's just a little bit of a fib. I told my dad that the only reason you were coming on Sunday was because you had to work Saturday, but you just found out that you didn't have to work Saturday. So I asked him if it would be ok if you came Saturday instead of Sunday." "He was all good with it, his answer was; _sure Lucy, whatever works for you two, I'll work it out with your mom. "_ Wow, It was that easy?" "Quentin," she replies in mock exasperation, "I'm _really good_ at talking to my dad." "What about you Lucy, do you want me to come on Saturday? I don't want to cramp your beach style." "OMG Q," she fires back. "If you were here now I'd punch you." She has been laying in bed the whole time, but I can tell that she is getting up. All I can see now is the palm of her hand, but I can still hear her. "I'll show you my answer Quentin," she says, and with that she turns the phone around to reveal her image in a mirror. She is wearing lingerie that is even sexier than the pics she sent me last week and she says, "I'll be wearing this on Saturday night...you like?" "Yes...yes I do," I reply in an exaggerated manner. She is teasing me now, "l feel really naughty showing off for you." "I love it when you are naughty Lucy, I don't think I'm gonna make it until Saturday, I might explode." "Keep it together Q, I don't want all of this slutty underwear to go to waste," which makes us both laugh. She is back in bed now and we continue to talk, she tells me everything that is going on at the beach and I listen for the most part because I just love to hear her voice." I'm one day closer to the highlight of my summer and I couldn't be happier about it. We continue to talk for some time, but Lucy is tired and falls asleep. I end the call and as is become our routine I text her.

3:43 AM

Q: Miss you

I quickly fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. It is the kind of restful sleep one gets when all appears to be well.

Chapter 9: Mr. Brightside

Today 7:29 AM

Lucy: Miss you more.

Read: 9:19 AM

120 hours and counting. The countdown clock is heading inexorably to zero hour at which time I'll neither miss Lucy nor miss her more because in 120 hours, more or less, I will be in Sea Island and we will be together. This is the first thought that runs through my mind when I wake up this morning and see the message from Lucy. Even though I was up late with her, I probably got the best five hours of sleep since Margo rolled through my window two months ago. I feel great. I'm so stoked for my trip to the beach, now moved up to Saturday thanks to Lucy. I had a truly interesting experience with Ashley yesterday, not sure what, if anything to make of it. We'll see where that goes. I'm really excited to spend the next two days with my friends, a concert tonight courtesy of Avery, and a 4th of July poolside party tomorrow. "You're living the dream Q," I say aloud to myself. "Make the most of it." There are two things I must tend to this morning, one I'm excited about, and the other I dread.

Today: 9:21 AM

Q: Text me when you get up

Lace: I've been up for a few minutes, Ben is still in a coma.

Q: I have to tell you something, how about if I stop by?

Lace: Sure, what time?

Q: Half hour?

Lace: Alrighty, text me when you get here.

READ 9:21 AM

I immediately head for the shower, get cleaned up throw on a clean tee shirt and shorts and in no time I'm ready to go. I don't make it past the kitchen though, my mom is actually waiting for me to emerge from my room. I have my car keys in my hand and I'm ready to roll, but she wants to talk. "Quentin, where are you going?" "Lacey's," I reply attempting the minimalist tactic, but she will have none of it this morning. "You're going to Lacey's at 10:00 in the morning?" "Yeah, mom, I promised Lacey I would give her a hand with something, I won't be there too long," which is a fib and not even a good one but it will have to do. Since we're talking about Lacey, I decide to toss a curveball and head out of here. "Mom, we're all going to a concert tonight at Hard Rock Live, I'm staying at Lacey's tonight after the show, so don't worry when I don't come home, ok?" My mom doesn't miss a beat however. "That's fine Quentin, thank you for telling us ahead of time. I was wondering why you asked about the Ramseys the other day, but when I saw that stunning girl knocking on the back door, it all made sense to me. Do you want to tell me what's going on there or do I have to drag it out of you." I just laugh when I hear that and run up the white flag. "Sure," I say. "There's not too much to tell you though. We all know Ashley because she is a waitress at Vinny's and she invited us to her pool party yesterday. It was a lot of fun, her brother is in the band so Ben and Radar knew a lot of people, they had a blast." She quickly replies, "can I assume you enjoyed yourself as well based on you staying there until 11:30?" "Mom, I gotta get going, can't we talk about this later? I met Mrs. Ramsey, she is really nice, she says hello," I tell her. I don't wait for an answer, I make a break for the garage, get in my car and complete my getaway. I haven't heard the last of this I realize as I'm driving away.

I quickly turn my attention to the dreaded task at hand. I'm not sure how I'm going to ease into the Becca topic, I'll just wing it, I figure. I stop at a market, go to the fresh food section and pick up a fresh fruit platter and two quarts of fresh squeezed Florida orange juice, then continue on to the Pemberton compound. I pull in and text Lacey, a second later the gate pops loose. I tap on the front door, then try the handle, it's open so I just walk in. Lacey comes from the kitchen to the foyer and whispers, "I'm in here Q, everyone is still sleeping. "I brought us breakfast Lace," I'm whispering as well. She gives me an odd look, no doubt thinking that I've brought pastries, donuts or some other fare that would never enter the temple that is Lacey's body. Speaking of Lacey's body, she is wearing a tee shirt, and I am fairly certain that is the extent of her clothing. It's obvious that she just woke up, no make-up, her hair is in partial disarray and...she looks absolutely gorgeous. I smile as I empty the contents of the bag I'm carrying because I know she is not expecting me to have fresh fruit and fresh orange juice. "Actually," I'm grinning, "l brought breakfast for you Lacey," still in a stage whisper. She is beaming, "Quentin, you really know how to treat a girl, you always get it just right," she says. "Except for when I get it horribly wrong Lace." We both laugh...quietly. She gets out two bowls, two glasses some spoons and napkins. The fruit is really good and the fresh OJ, still chilled from the market cooler tastes great. Neither of us say anything while we are eating, but it is not awkward, it is the comfortable silence that close friends can share, no need for constant banter, everything is good. "I'm starving Q," she says as she refills her bowl with the assorted fruit, "and as usual, you saved the day because there is nothing good to eat here, and I was about to eat something bad." "My pleasure," I say raising my OJ glass. She does the same, the tumblers clink together as we toast to a healthy breakfast. Again I marvel at how unguarded she is in my presence. She just rolled out of bed. Lacey wouldn't be caught dead anywhere with bed hair, a tee shirt and no make-up, but she has no qualms looking like she does around me. I love it...I love the attention I get from the beautiful girl that has become my friend. I'm more comfortable around her than I am with anyone else I realize. Also, it is obvious that I must be smiling some dopey smile because Lacey is laughing as she says, "what is making you smile like that, Q?" "You...I love how you have become so comfortable around me, I feel special," still whispering. "You're one of a kind Q, that's for sure," she quickly replies. "I'm one of a kind?" a stage whisper from behind asks. It's Avery, she is wearing only a tee shirt as well and looks as though she woke up a minute ago, which starts to freak me out cause she is insanely hot but she still scares me. Lacey replies, "I was telling Q, that he is one of a kind, but that certainly stands for you as well Cuz. Q brought us breakfast," she adds. "Thanks Q," Avery says as she gets a bowl of fruit and a glass of orange juice, "you always get it just right, don't you? I'm going back to bed, you early birds are killing me," Avery says as she gathers her breakfast and returns upstairs. These two are more like sisters than most sisters are, I say to myself, also if they were sisters they would be the hottest siblings alive.

"So...Lacey," I begin. "We can talk about anything without you getting mad at me, right?" raising my voice inflection to form the question. She is eyeballing me now as I continue, "I'm not saying you can't get mad, I'm just asking that you not get mad at me." "Fair enough Q, this is the unpleasant thing you wanted to talk about I assume." "It is," I reply. "Originally I was going to blow it off myself but then I realized that it is not my place to speak for you, it should be your decision to blow it off." Lacey has a questioning look on her face, but says nothing, so I continue. "Last Friday, I didn't leave that party early because I had to work Lace, I left because I was trying to avoid someone." "Not that cute Ashley I hope, she was looking for you last Friday. She is a nice girl Q." "She likes you too Lacey, she told me that she can tell that you are kind." Lacey smiles coyly upon hearing someone has referred to her as kind. "I left because I was trying to avoid Becca, but unfortunately, I was unsuccessful." The sound of her name is like nails on a chalkboard to Lacey, her expression hardens, her body tenses, "what the hell does she want, not that I really care." "Well...she found me out front on the porch steps, I figured I was safe there, I won't bore you with the details, the short version is she asked me to talk to you, she wants to apologize to you for prom night." Lacey looks right at me and says, "what did you tell her?" " I said that I knew you were really mad at her and not to expect anything." "Good answer Q," Lacey is pissed now. "I wasn't going to tell you anything at all about my encounter, that's why I let it sit for a couple of days, but then I came to the conclusion that it was not my decision to tell her to drop dead, it was yours." "I like that turn of phrase Q, _it is_ my decision to tell her to drop dead," she replies, laughing a little as she says it. "Understood Lace, if she approaches me again I'll tell her I spoke to you about it but you have no interest in talking to her." "See Q, like I was saying earlier, you always know exactly what to say...the civilized version of _fuck off bitch_ , for example." You do understand why I felt compelled to tell you, even though I don't want to ruin our fun today" I say. "You did the right thing Quentin, I'm glad you told me. I feel better about it already," Lacey says, "She is miserable and I hope she remains so indefinitely." "So...we'll never have to talk about Becca again, right?" I say raising my voice tone to form the question. "Tru dat bro," Lacey says which makes us both crack up laughing. "OMG...you're morphing into Ben. He's starting to rub off on you, there's no known antidote." Lacey is really laughing now. "I swear Q, you will never hear that phrase pass my lips again."

Avery has silently returned to the kitchen and sits right next to me which is raising my anxiety level a little bit. It is obvious that she is only wearing a tee shirt as well and it requires every ounce of willpower I have for my gaze to remain at eye level. It dawns on me that Avery didn't go upstairs to go back to bed, she did so to give Lacey and I time to talk. She is the most perceptive person I've ever encountered, more so than Margo I realize. Morning, 3 July, 2017, I'm never going to forget this morning as long as I live. My personal journey from where I was two short months ago to where I am today is epitomized by this moment. Over the last sixty or so insane days, I've gone from an invisible nobody to sitting in Lacey Pemberton's kitchen calmly sharing a fresh fruit and fresh orange juice breakfast with Lacey and her beautiful, sophisticated cousin...and they are both wearing only tee shirts. It is like I've lived a whole life compressed into a two month span. Three lives...actually, I've lived three lives I say to myself. Life number one was great, I was a little kid and Margo and I were best friends, I loved that life because it was life with Margo. Life number two began the night she told me to close my window while she stared right through me at some unseen horror. Life number two was unbearable. I was alone and invisible. Life without Margo was agony for me. She was right there, I could almost reach out and touch her, but I was marginalized, put on a shelf if you will. The only good thing about life number two is that is when I met my two best friends. Life number three began the night Margo opened my window and rolled through. My window is still open and will remain so. It is my new Gatsby like enchanted physical object. My portal not only to Margo, but to life number three where I have, 1: Gained a third best friend, the beautiful, gracious and kind Lacey. 2: Met Lucy, a fun loving, gorgeous girl who seems to want to be with me as much as I want to be with her, and 3: Evened the playing field a bit between myself and Margo. We sorted out so much between us at Agloe, and I have subsequently told her exactly how I feel about her, pulled no punches regardless of the consequences, and she has remained in contact with me. None of this would be happening to me if it wasn't for Margo and her confident Q admonition. I can hear her saying...suddenly I am aware of two pretty faces intently focused on me. Both Lacey and Avery are looking at me, they are both smiling a knowing smile and once again I feel like a dope in front of these wonderful girls. "Honestly Quentin, where do you go when you do that?" Lacey smiles as she asks that question. "How long?" I reply. "Only a couple of minutes," Lacey replies, they are both laughing at me now. I'm embarrassed and they can sense that, Lacey continues, "I'm really getting used to it now, you know, the whole Q being Q thing." Avery...naked except for a tee shirt Avery, is now dangerously close to me but she is looking at her cousin and says, "I hate that I'm only here for a week, maybe can I take him back to Jersey with me, he's so cute." They are plain busting my balls now. "I think you should Avery, Q would love it." "It would be fun that's for sure,"Avery continues, "but Jersey would be culture shock for him." "He would be under your wing Cuz," Lacey replies, "he would be fine." I finally interject, "I'm right here...right next to you," I say, feigning annoyance. Avery gets even closer and rubs my hair like I'm a kid saying, "he's cute when he's annoyed too." Lacey looks at me and laughs, I reply, "whatever," knowing I can't win, nor do I want to. I love all of the attention I receive from Lacey and Avery...who wouldn't.

A few more minutes of being roasted by the Pemberton girls ensues until they start to wind down. "What time is the concert tonight?" I ask. Avery replies, "not sure, I have to download the tickets but it's late, like maybe 10:00." So what are we doing beforehand? I'm certain that you have a plan Avery," I say sneaking a quick glance at Lacey who is stifling a smile. Avery fires back, "You're a quick study Quentin, be here by 6. Are you bringing Marcus and Angela?"

Not sure, I'll work it out with them...btw who's Marcus?" I reply, again flashing a smartass look at Lacey. "Ok Q, maybe I'll take you back to Jersey and you'll disappear, she says with her best Jersey accent." We all laugh at Avery's wisecrack but I can tell she could make it happen. "And Q...you're staying here tonight...got it? "Got it Avery," I say, looking at Lacey who is shrugging her shoulders as she says, "I learned a long time ago to never argue with her." "No worries Q," Avery says, she is laughing now. "I'd never make you disappear, you're kinda cute, maybe I'll just hold you hostage." To which I quickly reply, "l should be so lucky." "Indeed," Avery snaps back. "Now I am going back to bed. 6 o'clock Q, see you tonight," she says as she heads for the stairs. Once again it is just Lacey and I sitting at the kitchen island. I pour myself another glass of OJ and say, "you know, I wish she was here for the rest of the summer, I kinda like her...after my fear recedes," I add. Lacey replies, "when I was a kid I would always pretend that Avery was my big sister during the week we were visiting our grandparents. I was always so sad when she left. As we got older, I would imagine that Avery would come and stay with us for the summer, and how great it would be to have her here." "I can see why Lace, she is the most dynamic person I've ever met." Lacey smiles and says, "I'm gonna tell her you said that Q." Not necessary," I reply, "I already told her that the other night. She has a way of extracting exactly what you are thinking." "Yeah, she does," Lacey says. "Well, I'm gonna tell her that you wish she could stay for the summer, you never know, she might just do it." I chuckle at her response but I think to myself, if I ever actually hooked up with Avery I'm certain that sensory overload would kill me. Also, I really don't have to worry about that since it would never happen...but a guy can imagine.

I gotta get going Lace, I have another errand this morning...way less important than bringing you breakfast though." She replies, "I hope it is not an unpleasant one too," referring to our Becca talk no doubt. "I have to go to a mall, for me, that's unpleasant," I tell her. "I want to go to a mall," she quickly replies, her face lighting up at the prospect of shopping. "What mall are you going to?" "I have to go to the Apple store at the Florida Mall, I can wait for you guys, I've got all day," I reply. Lacey is fully energized at the prospect of visiting the Florida Mall, "I'll get sleeping beauty out of bed and we'll go with you," she says excitedly. "Do you mind?" "Lace, I'd always rather be with you...even if Ben has to be there," which makes her laugh as she heads upstairs to awaken Mr. don't wake me until at least noon.

The happy couple are ready to go within the hour. Ben runs downstairs and enters the kitchen. He appears to be a mix between old Ben and new Ben. He is wearing a ratty tee shirt, cargo shorts and sneakers, but they are ratty by Lacey standards, a significant upgrade from his original ratty wardrobe. His hair is in disarray, again by Lacey standards only, he still looks a hundred times better than his best pre-Lacey day. One thing hasn't changed, "Dude...why didn't you wake me up when you got here?" is his enthusiastic greeting. Ben is living the dream inside living the dream this week, camping at Lacey's while her parents are in Boca. I'm still struggling to understand and adapt to all of the changes in my life, but his life has changed even more dramatically than mine and he handles it as though he always knew what was going to happen. I worried a bit that all Ben all day for seven days might put a strain on the relationship, but by all accounts, which consist of my observations and Avery's recounting, they are now tighter than ever. "Good morning Benners, having a good week?" is my sarcastic greeting. "Awesome week Bro...the best ever." He quickly replies, stupid grin on his face. "I'm surprised you're awake, it's not even 11:30, didn't you inform Lacey never to wake you before noon?" I'm mocking him now because for all of his bravado, one Lacey Janelle Pemberton is firmly in control. "Q, you know I was never a morning person, but Lacey?" He lets it hang for a long moment...Lacey is a morning person if you get my drift," Ben says grinning a conspiratorial grin. The whole thing is going over my head because I'm looking at him like, _Lacey is a morning person...so what...she gets up earlier,_ until it finally dawns on me exactly what is going on in the morning. He sees that I finally get it and says, "she's a morning person so now I'm a morning person." We are both laughing at how clueless I can be when we hear Lacey ask, "what am I?" I quickly reply, "Lace, you're the only person in the world that I actually want to go to a mall with." Lacey looks terrific, she is wearing a tee shirt, shorts and sneakers, no make-up that I can discern and her hair is well behaved and flowing behind her as she is walking into the kitchen. "You're sweet Quentin, so that means you will come shopping with us after you get out of the Apple store?" "Sure Lace, why not," is my matter of fact reply as well as my punishment for almost getting caught talking about something that would have landed both of us in hot water for sure.

We're on I-4 in my minivan, the Florida Mall is right off an exit so I decide that would be the quicker way to go. We're there in no time, find a parking spot and head into the mall. Lacey heads off to wander through the stores and Ben comes with me to the Apple store. I'm a day late but I am fulfilling my promise to Margo to begin writing my experiences in a journal. I'm not a notebook person, but an iPad with a stylus is another story altogether. The cost of said iPad has been mitigated by a quick call to my grandmother...I told her I needed it for school which is not a lie because I can certainly use it there, but it is not the truth either. Also, the _I need this for school_ story serves as a good cover to tell Ben and Lacey as well since I can't tell them anything about my arrangement with Margo. One of these days I fear that Lacey is gonna find out that I have been in contact with Margo for most of the summer and kept it from her and she is gonna be really pissed at me. I've actually considered telling her some version, probably right before we all leave for school. _Oh Lace, you'll never guess who I heard from? Yeah, she's doing well, she said to say hi._ We wait our turn in the store and Ben wants to talk. "Dude, you're probably going to have as much fun next week as I'm having this week." "Well it's obvious that you're having the week every guy dreams about. Seriously Ben, everything appears to be going well with you two, am I reading that right?" I ask. "Everything is going great, I don't think it could be any better between Lacey and I. Truth is, I was wondering what would happen this week, you know, how much time would we spend together. Would I be invited to spend a night at her house or would the status quo remain as if her parents were home, you know that kind of stuff. Then I was worried about Avery. They are tighter than sisters, what if she didn't like me, that would have thrown a wrench into our relationship. Anyway, it appears as though I had nothing to worry about, I've been there every night except for Sunday, and the only reason I didn't stay is that the girls were getting up early to spend the day together. I could have stayed, but I thought it best to go home so I had Radar drop me off." "Q," Ben says to change the subject, "do you think Avery is crushing on you?" That statement makes me laugh out loud right in the middle of the Apple store. "OMG Benners, really?" I'm incredulous. "She is so out of my league. She scares the shit out of me. I can't even comprehend actually hanging with her." "Dude, she does like you though," Ben replies, "Yeah right," I continue, "the same way she likes her pet Lab, she's always mussing my hair like I'm her 10 year old nephew. Think about the kind of guys she dates, all those super rich, sophisticated prep school dudes with cool cars, beach houses, bright futures and trust funds. I'm sure she is really enjoying hanging with some schmoe from Orlando who drives a POS Ford minivan." We both start laughing uncontrollably at the thought of it. The contrast between myself and the kind of guys that Avery is attracted to couldn't be more stark. "Good point Q, I doubt Avery is jonesing for another ride through Orlando in your minivan."

Finally, they call my name. I know exactly what I want, they get the new iPad with the stylus and set it up for me. They are telling me about the iPad tutorial that is starting in an hour and other support services available but I'm not really paying attention because I have the services of a computer genius at my fingertips. I thank the guy who was helping me and we're out of there in short order. "Why are you buying an iPad anyway bro?" Ben asks. "I need it for school," I quickly reply, leaving out the real reason why I'm buying an iPad. The one thing I haven't worked out is how I explain this to my parents, but I'll worry about that tomorrow, I say to myself. Ben texts Lacey telling her we are finished and she tells him to wait at the Apple store. She shows up in a minute, she bought something and Ben asks, "what did you buy?" as he reaches for the bag she is carrying. Lacey pulls the bag away and says, "never mind, I'll show you later," flashing a naughty grin. "Ok...too much information," I say, eyeballing Ben. "So, are we ready to go?" I ask, realizing that I'm unlikely to get off the hook this easily. "Really Quentin? I'm just getting warmed up," Lacey says, "Come on you guys, let's go in here." Here, is one of those trendy clothing stores, no doubt a source of Ben's stylish wardrobe. At first I assume that Ben's wardrobe is about to expand, but it doesn't take too long for me to figure out that someone else is in Lacey's sights. "Quentin...please, try this on. Do it for me," she says, batting her lashes at me. "For you Lace, anything," I say. Ben is laughing at me because he knows what I'm just figuring out; _resistance is futile._ This, consists of a subtle maroon and grey plaid print long sleeve shirt with a no tuck style shirt tail, a button down collar, a maroon vee neck tee shirt and the iconic flat front, no belt, light grey khaki shorts. I do as Lacey asks because...well, because Lacey is doing the asking. The whole shirt, vee neck tee and shorts actually looks good, but I feel like a fraud because I pretty much don't care what I'm wearing as long as it is clean. Lacey has other ideas however, she is smiling from ear to ear, another blank canvas for her fashion palette is what she sees. "Admit it Q, you know you look good," she says. "I look ok Lace but I feel like an idiot, I would never buy any of this stuff myself." She turns to Ben and says, "tell him...doesn't he look good?" "She's right bro," Ben obediently replies, "you look awesome." "I dunno Lace, I just sprung for that iPad, not sure I have the cash for a wardrobe upgrade. "I'm not saying you should buy it Q, I want to buy it for you. It will be my going away present for next week." "OMG Lacey, no!" I protest. "I've basically spent the summer freeloading off of you. I feel bad enough about that, I can't let you buy me stuff," I say. "Why did you buy that iPad anyway Q?" Lacey asks, virtually mimicking Ben's earlier query. "I need it for school Lace." I quickly reply, which is a totally believable answer. I also realize that maybe Ben really is rubbing off on Lacey since she asked virtually the same question, minus _bro,_ about the iPad. Lacey continues, "Quentin, you're going to Lucy's beach house next week, I'm sure it's very tony at Sea Island. Lucy dresses very nice, she is a beautiful girl. You will probably be going out for dinner with her parents, I don't want you to be dressed like a refugee." The thought of dinner with Lucy's parents at a nice restaurant instantly raises my anxiety level and Lacey instantly realizes that she is making me anxious. "Oh sweetie," she says quickly assuming her under my wing persona, "I didn't mean to make you nervous about your trip, I want you to have a great week." "I know Lace," I reply, "I'm not really concerned but I'm still Quentin Jacobsen, world class worrier," I say, which makes them both laugh.

On cue my phone begins to buzz, it's Lucy FaceTiming me. This can't be good I think to myself as I accept the call. "Heyyyy there beach girl." Her pretty face is filling my phone screen, but she is not smiling. "Quentin," she says, "you're still coming on Saturday aren't you? I woke up this morning with a bad feeling, like something would happen and I would never see you, and I know it's stupid but I couldn't shake it, even after my run. I feel so much better when I can see you," she says. "No worries Lucy, I'll be there Saturday...unless the world ends during the week. Also, I know you will find this hard to believe but I'm actually shopping at the Florida Mall right now." "Really," she is starting to smile a little now, "Quentin Jacobsen...in a mall? Who are you and what have you done with Q?" she quips, returning to her normal self. Ben hijacks the call, "Hey Lucy, how's the beach?" He has my phone, I can hear her saying "hi Ben," as he walks away. I'm trying to get my phone back because I know what is coming next, but it's too late...Lacey is telling her what store we are in and what we are doing. They are having a good laugh at my expense and I'm sure Lucy is loving every minute of it. "Come here Q, Lucy wants to see the clothes I picked out for you," Lacey says to me. Once again, _resistance is futile,_ so I just stand there with a dumb grin while they turn the phone around to show Lucy what I'm wearing. Lacey is telling her, "don't worry Lucy, he's under my wing until Saturday, then he's all yours." Ben quickly follows "we don't want him back either," then he hands me the phone. Lucy is smiling her 1000 watt smile now, "l like what she picked out for you Q, you look great," she exclaims. "Well if you like it, I like it," I reply. "What's up for today at the beach?" I ask, changing the subject. Lots of stuff, I'm helping my mom get ready for the main event tomorrow, plus it is a perfect beach day so my plans are to hit the beach later and enjoy a long nap." "I sure wish I was there with you." "It's right around the corner Q, I'm excited to see you," she replies. "OMG," she says suddenly, demeanor changing. "My mom won't leave me alone today." I can hear her shouting, "what...what mom?" Then after a short silence, "Quentin...QUENTIN" she is yelling now. "I'M TALKING TO QUENTIN." Now, talking to me again she appears frustrated. "You will visit me in prison if I kill her won't you Q?" "Every Sunday Lucy...at the big house," I reply, which gets her to laugh a little. "I gotta go Q, I'll call you later this afternoon." "Ok, good. I gotta talk to you about something, I tell her. "Bye Q," she quickly ends the call.

So, it appears that I'm buying the clothes Lacey picked out for me after all. I don't buy the vee neck tee, I have one of them but I realize as I watch the cashier swipe my card and imagine my pile of graduation cash dwindling, that Lacey is probably right, I ought to have some nice clothing to wear in case we do go somewhere civilized with Lucy's mom and dad. Ben and Lacey are shopping for Ben but he is a willing participant. He is picking out stuff, consulting with Lacey until they agree. I watch is amazement as my best buddy, the former _Bloody Ben_ display his fashion sense. Lacey picked out the shirt and shorts for me, she is an expert, who am I to argue, but she is not picking out things for Ben, they are discussing the pros and cons of different articles of clothing as equals. I wonder if this equality of opinion remains in place when Lacey is buying clothes for herself. Highly unlikely, I say to myself as we are finally leaving the store and hopefully leaving the mall as well. We don't get very far however, as the allure of a shoe store pulls Lacey right in, Ben and I right behind her. They are looking at shoes while I'm looking at them looking at shoes. I wander away from them and go to the men's shoe section for no other reason than this is the section where I should be. I have no need of shoes. I have my sneakers, I have my deck shoes and I even have flip flops somewhere. I'll have to find them for next week I realize. I sit down and zone out while the shoe shoppers do their thing. I soon become aware of my friends hovering over me, Lacey is holding a pair of shoes, specifically, Addidas light grey fashion sneakers with the currently popular corse fabric, white soles and a pull tab on the back of each shoe that is grey with white borders and printing which says The _Brand with the 3 Stripes_ in both English and German. "What size do you wear Q?" Lacey asks. I quickly respond "10 1/2 Lace but I'm not buying sneakers, I have sneakers." She glances at Ben who takes off, apparently to fetch my size. "Those?" she says pointing to my feet, "I wouldn't be seen mowing the lawn wearing those and neither should you." I chuckle at the mental picture of the glamorous Lacey Pemberton mowing a lawn. She is starting to get irritated cause she knows why I'm laughing and quickly concedes, "also, I wouldn't be seen mowing a lawn ever." Ben returns in a moment, "They have 'em," he says carrying an Addidas shoe box. "Quentin," she says. "These are on sale, 70% off and they're perfect for you. Please, let me buy them for you...I want to." "Lacey, you do way too much for me already. I want you to continue to be my best friend, watch my back, stick with me no matter what, and continue to be the terrific person that you are. I'll buy my own sneakers," I say to her, taking the box from Ben and heading toward the checkout. "Q, you should probably try them on first," she says smiling at me. "Right...good idea." I do try on the right shoe, it fits, it actually does look good. 70% off notwithstanding, the mental image of my dwindling pile graduation cash returns as I pay for the shoes. Lucy's voice saying _who are you and what have you done with Q,_ is ringing true.

I don't even ask...I know I am doomed to an indeterminate amount shopping so I decide to let it play out. How much longer could we possibly stay here, I say to myself. I decide to take a page from Avery's playbook and allow them to spend time together without their ever present third wheel tagging along. I find a good spot to camp while they do whatever it is they are doing. I open the bag and look at the clothes wondering what has become of me. 90% of me couldn't care less what I am wearing, but just as it was a few weeks ago when Radar and I were heading to a party at Jase Worthington's house, 10% of me likes that I am now sporting at least one trendy outfit. Why do I like it, I ask myself? The answer is obvious, I like it because Lacey picked it out for me and Lucy told me she liked it. Years of being attention starved has made me an attention whore, which I am thoroughly enjoying, as though I can somehow make up for all the years I was invisible. I know that all of this is shallow and vain, but I just don't care. Everything is going to change for me yet again once August 20 something rolls around so shallow and vain it is for a little while. Also, I realize that the bag of clothing provides a way to get the iPad to my bedroom unnoticed. I'm certain that my mom will want to have me analyzed when she sees that, 1: I went shopping, 2: actually bought something, and especially 3: bought fashion sneakers.

My thoughts turn to the iPad, not the device itself, but what it represents and how I'm going to use it. I begin to think through exactly what it is that I want to write about. Even though I am writing for an audience of one, I don't want to write _to_ her, I'm already in contact with her. I don't want to write about her either. What is it she that she said; _write interesting observations and musings about our daily lives as we each live it._ It is going to be a challenge to write about myself, how I see the world, and keep it interesting, but I'm gonna make the effort. Right now I'm just trying to figure out how to get started. If I get rolling, I believe I will be able to put something together that will be mildly interesting. I certainly have enough topics from which to choose, but which topic do I choose, how do I get started? Slowly but surely an idea is forming in my mind, my earlier thoughts about living three distinct lives in an 18 year period might be the way to start my journal. Margo said that when we exchange our notes, _I get you, and you get me._ Maybe this is the way to begin...if I write about that she will get me, that's for sure.

My thoughts continue to formulate my approach to the journal when slowly I become aware of two people hovering over me. I look up and see the beautiful, smiling face of Lacey. "Hi Q," she says in an _I get it_ manner. The other face I see is less understanding. "One of these days you're gonna lapse into a trance and never return Q." We all laugh at Ben's joke but a part of me wonders if that wouldn't be better. Lacey and Ben are carrying a few bags, the spoils of our impromptu shopping trip, "Are you finished already Lace?" Come on Q," she says, " let's go, and thanks for not complaining about how long we were here, I know this is torture for you." "Not when I'm with my friends," is my diplomatic reply. "I was thinking about something anyway, it seemed as though you were only gone for a moment."

We leave the mall, I drop them at Lacey's front gate, assuring them I'll touch base with Radar and be there by six, then head home. Mission accomplished, I say to myself. I got the whole Becca thing sorted out and Lacey is not mad at me. I picked up my iPad and I'm ready to begin writing...what I am going to write has yet to be determined. I'm home in a few minutes and back in the house, new iPad hidden from view under my new clothes. As soon as I hit the kitchen, my mom, who seems as though she hasn't moved since I flew out of here earlier this morning, spots the bags and asks, "Quentin, you voluntarily went shopping?" "No," I reply, "Lacey and Ben went shopping, I just went along with them." I have to guard the iPad secret for a little while so I quickly add, "Do you want to see what I bought?" My mom seems stunned that I'm volunteering to show her the stuff in the bag and replies, "can we assume that your friend Lacey has everything to do with this?" "She does," I quickly answer as I pull the shirt out of the bag. "Whaddya think?" I'm holding the shirt up for a few moments then I put it back in the bag, fish out the shorts, hold them up for review as well. "I think...that Lacey has an eye for what looks good on you. What I don't understand is how she is able to get you to agree to buy new clothes." I shrug my shoulders and answer, "let's just say that Lacey has a way of getting people to do as she asks." To which my mom replies, "l'm glad she does. You can be a tad stubborn about things like this. Besides, you will need one decent shirt and shorts to wear next week when you're at Lucy's." "That's exactly what Lacey said," this is my exit to my room moment. "I gotta clean up my car and get ready for tonight, I'm driving," then I turn and head to my room. "What's in the box?" my mom calls out as I make my getaway. "Sneakers," I quickly reply. "God bless that young lady," she says.

Safely in my room, I get the iPad out of the bag and plug it in, it doesn't have much of a charge. Then I hang up the shirt so it remains unwrinkled for the most part and text Radar.

Today, 2:06 PM

Q: Am I picking you guys up?

Radar: Yup.

Q: I'll be there between 5:30 and 5:45

Radar: Ok

Q: Your house?

Radar: No, Angela's

Q: Got it, see you later.

Radar: Will you be wearing your new outfit?

Q: Haha, whatever.

Read 2:09 PM

Geezus, how did he hear about that already? Upon further review I recall that Lucy saw me via FaceTime when I was in the store with Ben and Lacey, so it is no surprise that Angela knows that I bought a shirt and shorts. The JPark girls are tight, lifelong friends. Anything Lucy knows will be shared with the rest of them sooner rather than later. Speaking of Lucy...

Today, 2:31 PM

Q: FaceTime late?

I take my car to the car wash, clean it out and wash it. I was just there the other day so it's not too bad. I don't need gas either, I really haven't driven much since Saturday so I return home with a clean minivan, ready for tonight's festivities. I'm a little wary to go inside since my mom seems to be stalking me but she is not in the kitchen and I'm able to return to my room unscathed. The iPad is sufficiently charged so I decide to try and start...but where to begin? I realize that I should figure out how this thing actually works, I enter the passcode I set earlier at the Apple store, which brings a little smile to my face knowing that Avery would have instant access to this device as well. This thing is packed with software. There is something called Pages, which I open and see that it contains templates for many tasks, like business letters, invitations or business cards. There is also a _Create Document_ feature and when I click on it an empty file is generated. It is entitled _Blank,_ which is appropriate because that is how I feel, my mind is blank. I sit at my desk, first staring at the iPad then at my window / portal to Margo. My mind is adrift, for the longest time, I can't seem to focus, but ever so slowly I formulate an idea how to write an interesting observation about my life as it unfolds. I begin:

 **3 July, 2017, 10:00 AM. I'm sitting in Lacey Pemberton's kitchen calmly sharing a fresh fruit and OJ breakfast with Lacey and her cousin Avery, both of whom are wearing only tee shirts. I'm acting as though I dine regularly with almost naked hot chicks, no anxiety, no hyperventilating, all the while maintaining a persona cool enough not to peek. (Well...almost anyway, but that's a story I'll tell later.). This is the moment when I fully comprehend the extent that my life has changed. In 60 or so short days, I've gone from being an invisible nobody to this...this being seated where any guy with a pulse would love to be. They are fussing over me too...actually they are making fun of me, but I love it, I love the attention I get from my new friend Lacey. I know how shallow and vain this sounds but I was attention starved for so many years that I don't really care.**

 **Time is suspended for us, but soon summer will be over and we all will be headed to our schools. The passage of time will resume and I will return to invisibility. We all fear the dawn of this day, so much so that we have agreed never to acknowledge it. In the not too distant past, I was looking at this day for redemption, a new life, new people, getting on with the task at hand. Now, I dread the approach of August 20 something when our summer comes to a screeching halt and we all disperse to our chosen places of higher education. I feel so good about everything, my friends, the two women in my life, and for the first time ever, I feel good about myself.**

 **For the balance of the summer I'm going to enjoy my new life...life #3. That life began on a night in May when Margo rolled through my window. Tonight, my new life features a trip to Hard Rock Live to see The Killers, all of this courtesy of one Avery Jocelyn Pemberton, the most dynamic and perceptive girl I've ever encountered. Truth be told she scares the shit out of me...more on that later. She purchased six VIP tickets for this show about six months ago, never anticipating that four of the five people now going to the show were then unknown to her. Life has so many twists and turns all of a sudden...fun, exciting, scary, sad and plain godawful. I was in a rut for so long that a rut was the only thing I knew. I'm so excited to see this band, to experience it with my friends, I already know it will be a great night. I'm driving all of us in my minivan as there are six concert goers. I'm sure that will be a sight; rolling up to the VIP valet parking in my 5 year old POS Ford minivan. I will be roasted all night for this, but I don't care, in fact I relish it because at least I have friends who care enough to make fun of me. This is my initial journal entry, I'm sure I'll get better as I continue to write. Time to get ready...more later.**

I quickly reread what I just wrote, make a few little changes and close my iPad. My first thought is I really like how the stylus works. The iPad will actually be useful when I get to school, which makes me feel a lot better about hitting up my grandmother for the money to buy it. It's time to get ready, pick up Radar and Angela, get to Lacey's and head to the concert. I grab a tee shirt, shorts, underwear, my deck shoes my tooth brush and a bathing suit, put all of that stuff in my backpack and toss it in the back of the minivan. Something tells me this is going to be an awesome night, I hope I'm not horribly mistaken.

Having received my marching orders from Avery earlier today, I'm on my way to Angela's house in plenty of time to reach Lacey's by six. As soon as I enter the Robertson estate driveway, Radar and Angela appear at the front door. As they walk towards the car I notice that Radar is dressed like Radar, but Angela is dressed like...well, she's dressed like Lacey and Avery. This is a little unusual because while Angela is certainly a beautiful girl, she usually dresses in a demure fashion, coinciding with her proper, ladylike upbringing. Tonight though, Angela has pulled out all the stops and she looks smokin hot. That I've never seen her dressed like she is tonight makes her seem more...idk...more something. Regardless, she looks great and as soon as they get in the van, two of them together in the middle row, I tell her, "You look great tonight Angela." Quickly realizing that didn't come out right I add, "not that you didn't look great before, but you changed your style a bit and I like it." "Well, thank you Quentin," she graciously replies, ever the proper young lady. "You have to look great to feel great," she adds which makes me laugh. Radar, you look great too," I sarcastically add. "Why thank you Quentin," he replies, mimicking Angela's well mannered tone. "Certainly not as good as you do...pretty boy," he adds, firing the first of many barbs that will be coming my way. I'm wearing the stuff Lacey picked out for me, it looks ok, but I really don't have a strong opinion. I back out of the driveway and head for Lacey's house. While driving I catch Radar's eye in the rear view and mouth, "whoa." He shrugs his shoulders as if to say "whatever." Radar seems uninterested in how Angela is dressed.

We arrive at Lacey's in a few minutes, I text her and in a moment the gate pops loose. We enter the compound and head to Lacey's condo and some cool air conditioning. It is another scorching hot Orlando summer evening. As we enter I brace for the worst, but nobody says anything...wtf I think to myself, something is going on here, they are all passing up on skewering me about the clothes Lacey picked out for me. I don't get it...this can't be good I say to myself. The longer this goes without anyone roasting me, the worse it's gonna be when they start. Lacey and Avery have bottles of liquor and a blender staged and ready to go. The Pemberton girls are dressed to kill just like Angela is...the girls look fantastic. They are deciding what cocktails to mix. Radar is fooling with something on his phone, and Ben and I stand back and silently survey the situation. After a few minutes, we just look at each other, shrug our shoulders and smile. We are obviously thinking the same thing, _how the heck did we ever end up here?_ A journal moment for sure, I think to myself. Ben and I begin to talk about how great the girls look, especially Angela, then we begin to talk about the concert. Ever since I found out we were going to see this band, I began listening to some of their well known songs. Apparently, Ben has done the same thing so we are comparing notes, not that either one of us are big fans, but Avery is so I felt it was prudent to know a little bit about them. While we are chatting about the songs we do know, my phone buzzes, it's the beach on FaceTime, I accept the call. "Quentin," Lucy says all serious, you're mad at me for not calling earlier aren't you?" Good God she is so cute, I think as I see her pretty face fill my phone. I can tell she is on the beach, in the shade on a lounge chair. "How was your beach nap Lucy?" I ask smiling. "I can't believe I slept this long, I just woke up...I really do feel relaxed though, there's nothing better than a nap on the beach," she says, then quickly adds, "Well...almost nothing," flashing her wicked little grin. Upon seeing it, I realize that I haven't seen that wicked grin lately and I'm reminded of how much I miss it. I'll be there in 3 days and you can show me everything that is better on the beach," I reply. "That's something you can count on Q," she continues, "I can't wait for you to get here. Tomorrow is always a lot of fun, but I'll be happy when everyone has gone home and you are here." She is beaming now, that 1000 watt smile on full display. While we are talking I wander into Lacey's den where it is a little more quiet. "I have a mental countdown clock running in my head Lucy, 112 hours and counting until I'm at your beach house. All systems are go, zero hour is sometime Saturday morning. No earthly power can hold me back." We both laugh at the thought of a countdown clock, like l'm being launched into space. Lucy rarely misses a beat, and this is no exception. "I hope the clock adjusts for the slow travel time from Orlando to Sea Island." She is grinning her smartass grin now. "Haha...I don't drive slow, I'm just careful," I tell her. While this is going on, Avery comes into the den with a drink and hands it to me then leaves as quickly as she arrived so as not to interrupt the conversation. "Tonight's the night we're all going to see The Killers, it starts late, like after 10:00, I'm driving everyone and I'm probably gonna sleep on Lacey's couch tonight, but please...please FaceTime me tonight. I can't sleep until I see you." Lucy replies smiling, you know I will Q, I better not see anyone on that couch but you though. Let me point out that there are plenty of gators in Georgia too," she says sarcastically, which cracks me up, remembering the impromptu day we spent together when she joked about feeding me to the gators. "No worries Lucy," I reply, I'm certain that neither Ben nor Radar want to spend a night on the couch with me." "I'm not worried about them Quentin," she says. While we have been talking Angela has appeared in the den, I guess she wants to say hi, so I continue. "Angela," I say to Lucy, "maybe Angela wants to share the couch with me tonight." "Quentin," Angela, blurts out in a high pitched voice, "don't tell her that." Lucy and I are both laughing, I hand Angela the phone and the close friends start talking away like Lucy never left. I wander back into the kitchen for a moment and Avery says, how's your Margarita, Q?" "Tasty," I answer, then add, "I can't even taste the liquor, isn't there Tequila in these?" "Not that one Q," Lacey responds, "that's a virgin Margarita. We thought it best that since you're driving you should probably not drink anything until we get back." I smile and mumble something about it being a good idea, which it is, but I can't help but think...virgin Margarita, how apropos. Angela hands my phone to me as I return to the den and when I see Lucy's pretty face, I realize that the whole virgin thing will change next week if everything goes as I believe it will. "I'm heading up to the house now Q, I'll call back late." "Keep trying until I wake up," I tell her. She replies, "you know I will, and have fun tonight," she says. "Miss you," I tell her. "Miss you more," She replies as she ends the call.

I turn around to rejoin to the festivities in the kitchen but Lacey and Avery are standing there, looking at me. "Whaaaattt," I protest, but they ignore me, Avery is now slowly circling me, inspecting the clothes Lacey picked out. After a full circle she looks at Lacey and says, "Nice...very nice, especially the sneakers, good job Cuz." "I had a tough time selling him on the sneakers, but they look great," This discussion is taking place as if I were in a coma. Lacey continues, "he can be so stubborn about things." Avery replies, "that didn't take long for me to figure out." "You have no idea Cuz," Lacey says laughing, "I had to fight him all afternoon until he caved and bought the stuff." Finally I blurt out, "you guys...I'm right here, I can hear what you are saying." "We know sweetie," Lacey says, giving me one of her affectionate pecks on the cheek, which always makes me blush, I'll never tire of Lacey's attention. Avery follows, asking, "Q," don't be upset about the drink, I just thought it was a good idea since you'll be driving all the way down there to Universal." "No...no worries Avery, it is a very good idea, I'll have a few when we get back tonight. She comes right up to me, dangerously close and whispers in my ear, "I promise Q...I promise I'll make it up to you," then returns to the kitchen. OMG, I think, Avery plain scares the crap out of me. When she gets close to me like she just did a weird combination of fear and exhilaration overwhelms me. I can't even begin to imagine...but, I actually can imagine.

Everyone is in the kitchen sitting around the island. The girls are mixing flavored Martinis, apple, cranberry and whipped cream and the discussion turns to dinner. No one has had much to eat today and there is some talk about going to this or that place when Avery pipes up, "we're dining at the Hard Rock Restaurant, we have 8:15 reservations. I made them when I bought the tickets, so what time do you think we should leave?" "With Q driving, five minutes ago," Radar quips. "Haha, a quarter to eight Avery," I say to her. "That's plenty of time in case there is any traffic." Everyone agrees, giving us plenty of time to pre-game, but there will be no pre-game for myself however, not that it is very important to me. Being with my friends on what is certainly going to be a great night is what is important to me. All of Avery's powers of persuasion wouldn't be able to get all of us drinks at Hard Rock, so everyone is sinking a few cocktails. Angela and Lacey are getting creative with their drink recipes and the volume of chatter and laughter is considerably louder that when we first arrived.

As I often do in these situations, I stand back and watch as everything unfolds. Ben is getting louder...and funnier as his alcohol intake rises. Lacey is nursing a drink in a martini glass, she will never finish it, same goes for Angela. Radar is drinking a Margarita too, he seems to be enjoying it but he is absolutely unflappable, regardless of how much he drinks. It seems like all five people are talking at once and I make a mental note of two things. 1: Everyone is smiling, and if they're not smiling they're laughing and 2: everyone looks great. The girls are dressed in their hottest clothes, their hair and makeup are just right. Ben is his now as expected trendy Ben, clothes, shoes, shades, haircut...I gotta admit, he looks...trendy. Radar looks like Radar always looks, but I realize as I watch him that he sure has changed a lot in a couple of years, the rest of his body kinda grew into his gangly arms and legs. The dopey oversized glasses and the Afro haircut are gone, replaced by contacts and a haircut reminiscent of a military man. He looks as though he has been working out, but I know he has never broken a sweat in his life and likely never will. I'm really enjoying watching my friends have a good time, it's fun for me to observe, which makes me think of Margo and her comment about observing others as they lead interesting lives. I wonder what Margo is doing right now? If this were last year, or if she hadn't run away, she would be here right now, getting ready to go to this concert, which also means that I wouldn't be here, the crowd would be completely different. I wonder if either Lacey or Avery have given any thought to that, I wonder if they wish that things had gone differently and none of us were here tonight? I wonder if Margo likes the Killers? She probably has at least one of their albums in that huge collection in her room. I wonder what her mom and dad are gonna do with all of...I feel a hand tugging my arm into the den, it's Lacey. "What are you thinking about Q? You're a million miles away. Is everything ok with you and Lucy?" "Yeah...yeah," I reply, snapping out of my thoughts, "everything is great with Lucy, she just called from the beach," I say. You seem so far away sometimes, what were you thinking about?" she asks. "Truth be told I wasn't thinking about anything, I was just watching everyone have a good time, and it makes me feel good to see my friends, old and new, having fun. This summer I'm living the dream Lacey," I tell her. "How's your drink?" I ask. "It's a mango whipped cream martini, want a taste?" she says holding out the glass. "I do actually, just a sip though, I'm the wheel man tonight." I take a little sip of the mango whipped cream martini and it is very good...I'll have no problem drinking a few of them later I think, but then I remember the killer wine fiasco and decide against drinking any of those later tonight. Lacey suddenly pulls me further into the den, away from the others and says, "do you ever think about her?" "Only every day," is my reply. "I was thinking about her just now," I whisper, like talking about Margo has been banned. "I could tell just by looking at you that you were," she replies, whispering as well. I continue. "While I was watching everyone I realized that if she hadn't run away, she would be here right now, ready to go to this concert, and...I would be in my bedroom playing video games with Ben and Radar. You never would have spoken to me in the hallway at school that day, you wouldn't have gone to prom with Ben, we never would have taken the road trip, and I never would have confronted Margo." Lacey starts to tear up just a little as she processes my logic, which makes me feel like a dope for making her cry. "Oh Lacey, no...I didn't want to make you sad. You see how my tortured mind works?" I ask as I reach out and wipe away the little tear on her cheek. "I'm not sad," she continues," I just miss her sometimes, even though she had been mean to both of us and self centered to a fault, I still love her." "So do I Lace," is my simple reply. "How do you do it Quentin? How do you think about things like that but keep all of it from driving you crazy? Sometimes I start to unravel a little bit at the pace my life is changing." She's pouring out her thoughts now, at an unlikely time for sure. "It's easy for me Lace, cause I realized long ago that I'm kinda crazy." She starts giggling at my wisecrack, which gets me laughing too. We look at each other and start laughing again, we can't stop now, a laughing fit has broken out. Ben comes into the den. "You guys...What's so funny?" which makes us laugh even more. Lacey looks at Ben, obviously thinking about what almost wasn't, then grabs him, pulls him close, plants a kiss on his lips and says "I love you Ben Starling." Ben seems a little confused by this, realizing that it was prompted by whatever we were laughing about, but quickly replies, "l love you too Lacey." He is looking at me with a giant question mark on his face but figures it out when Lacey turns to me and says, "l love you too Quentin, but I'm never going to ask you what you are thinking about ever again." The three of us are laughing at Lacey's comment when Angela walks into the den and says, "you guys...what's so funny?" Ben and Lacey look at me, look at each other and answer in the same half measure off beat cadence usually reserved for Ben and Radar, "There's something wrong with him...he's a hot mess," "Tru dat, Ben!" Angela quips. Hearing that, the four of us resume our alcohol fueled laughing fit, every time we stifle the laughter, someone looks at me and the laughing fit resumes. Finally we are calming down when Avery pokes her head into the den and says "You guys...

It's almost 7:30 and I assume my role as the responsible person and rally everyone to get going. We're all in the minivan before 7:45 and on our way to a place native Orlandoans avoid like the plague, (unless one works there of course), tourist spots like Hard Rock. Everyone climbs into the minivan. Ben and Lacey in the third row because...that's where Ben and Lacey became a thing. Radar and Angela stake their claim to the middle row and I'm behind the wheel with Avery riding shotgun. Again I wonder if her long legs will actually fit in the front seat as I watch her get in the van. She is wearing the shortest, tightest miniskirt I've ever seen and the highest wedge heels one can buy. Avery catches me staring at her short skirt, but doesn't let me have it, instead she just flashes me a knowing smile as if to say "that's right boy, help yourself to an eyeful. Still, I'm horribly embarrassed, blushing at being busted and I quickly pick up my phone to check traffic like that is what I was doing all along. "Let's roll Q," Avery says. Since I'm pretending to check traffic but not fooling Avery one bit, I actually do check traffic. Avery is looking at her phone and says, "VIP valet parking tag holders enter at Celebrity Boulevard. Do you know where that is?" she asks me. "Yeah, I do, but there is a big accident on I-4, we'll have to go another way if we're gonna get there on time." I quickly think of the best way to go, throw the van in gear and head east. Right away Ben and Radar start, "Q what are you doing, go over to I-4." "Can't," I reply, "big accident on I-4 it's jammed up." Radar is all over it. "Ok Q, keep going this way, take Semorian south, get on the East-West expressway, get off at Kirkland and go right down to Universal." "Got it Radar." I say but I don't tell him that is exactly how I was going to go. "Ben yells from the back, "Bro, don't go that way, it's a toll road," To which I quickly reply, "no worries...the toll is on me Benners." We're heading east to Semorian as directed by Radar. I glance in the rear view and Radar is monitoring the traffic situation between us and our destination, no doubt calculating the best way to get there and preparing alternate routes in case we need one. He senses me looking at him and gives me the _I'm on it_ look. Ben is talking to Angela about some unknown funny thing, they are both laughing. I catch Lacey's eye in the rear view and she smiles a knowing smile, _this is where it all happened for us, this is our place._ I can feel Avery looking at me, I turn my head to say something but she beats me to it. "Deja vu Quentin?" "Exactly...that's it exactly," I say.

This road trip is a lot shorter than 22 hours though, it's more like 22 minutes. We avoided the traffic tie ups and we turn onto Celebrity Boulevard as directed. It is a short road paralleling a parking lot with a turnaround at the end. There are a few cars ahead of us, valet parking attendants are scurrying around, opening doors and parking the cars. We're next, I pull up to the spot and three guys are there, one runs around the car to open the doors. The other two are snickering as I get out of the van and the one kid sarcastically remarks, "nice wheels." Then he turns to the other kid and says, "call the airport...we found the missing shuttle van." They are about to have a big laugh at my expense when they get an eyeful of the girls as they come walking around the car and suddenly they aren't laughing any more. Avery instantly determines what is going on because as I'm about to hand comedian number one my keys, she slides right in front of the guy, grabs the keys, wraps her arms around me and plants a wicked hot kiss right on my lips which probably didn't last all that long but to me it seemed to go on forever. Then she says "we love the minivan, don't we baby?" I'm absolutely speechless, there is zero chance of me uttering an articulate sound. Avery smacks the keys and some cash in the valet's hand and says in her best Jersey accent, "take good care of it junior," slapping him on the cheek like a gangster in a movie. The guy is frozen in place, he has nothing to say. The other valets are laughing at him as Avery does an about face and says, "let's bounce." We all instinctively do as she says, but we barely take a step when we hear, "Ms. Pemberton?" It came from the driver of what looks like a golf cart, only with three rows of seats and no place for golf clubs. "Come with me Ms. Pemberton, I'll take you to the VIP entrance. We quickly get in the car, somehow I end up sitting with Lacey. We are being shuttled past a long line in front of Hard Rock and around to a side entrance. I must have a permanently stunned look on my face because Lacey says, "really Q...were you expecting anything less?" "I gotta tell ya, that...I liked that Lace...I really liked that." We're looking at each other for a long moment, then we both start laughing, "I'm quite certain that you did Q."

We stop at the side entrance, disembark from the golf cart and into the restaurant we go. Our table is ready of course, Avery has planned everything well. We are seated and the seating arrangements end up identical to our Black Bean Cafe dinner. I'm seated next to Avery, I can feel her looking at me, so I turn toward her and she says, "are you ok Q?" "I don't think I've ever been better," I reply smiling. "I don't like jerks generally, and I really don't like jerks being assholes to my friends," she says. "I guarantee you that kid will be hearing about that put down forever," I tell Avery. "Additionally, I guarantee I will never forget that as long as I live." Avery looks at Lacey, who has been listening to our exchange and says, "he sure was a willing participant Cuz." "I know,"Lacey replies, "he really liked it too." I decide not to say anything, they can talk about me like I'm not here as much as they want, I kinda like it actually.

There is nothing out of the ordinary about the Hard Rock Cafe. It is a franchise style restaurant with a rock and roll theme, aimed more at my parents generation than ours. It's a place for tourists and as such the menu is standard fare, burgers and fries. The only reason we are here is because 1, we're all hungry and 2, it is adjacent to the Hard Rock Live, the venue for the show. We quickly order, the guys all get some version of burgers and fries, and the girls all order some version of a salad and flavored water. Our food quickly arrives and upon seeing giant hamburgers on big buns with piles of french fries on both Ben and my plates, Lacey just shakes her head in disgust, and starts getting on Ben about his diet. I'm listening to this while Radar and I are trying to stifle a laugh when Lacey wheels around to me and says, "Quentin," when are you guys going to stop eating like you're in the middle school?" Avery is looking at me with a straight face, but she is kicking me under the table while Lacey's is giving me hell about my diet, which is making it harder to stifle my laughter which is raising Lacey's aggravation level. Angela is dead eyeing Radar while this is going on and he has a contrite look on his face. The unflappable Marcus Lincoln is awfully flappable when one Angela Robertson is concerned. Avery piles on, "you're right Cuz, you guys have to learn how to eat better and take care of yourselves." "Okay Lacey, I know I shouldn't eat like this all the time but I just can't help myself, I'm a growing boy." Ben laughs at my comment and gets a daggerlike _you're gonna be a dead boy_ lookfrom Lacey. "I'm only concerned about you guys because I love all of you and I want you to be healthy." After Lacey has sufficiently (and correctly), scolded us for our poor food choices, she instantly reverts to happy Lacey like none of it ever happened. She said what she felt need to be said and now it's over.

The talk quickly turns to the upcoming show. Ben tells Avery that he has been listening to some Killers songs and is really excited to see the band. The Killers are Avery's favorite and she perks up at the chance to talk about them as we finish our unhealthy dinners. Ben and Avery are exchanging their thoughts on various Killers songs, Lacey and Angela are engrossed in a conversation, topic unknown but obviously funny because they are really laughing as they talk. Angela occasionally looks at me and smiles but I am unable to discern whether I'm the topic of the conversation or Angela is just being her usual polite self. While all of this is going on Radar is alternately looking at me then glancing at Avery with a _what's up with that?_ look. I shrug my shoulders, giving him the _idk...nothing really_ return look. As the animated conversation about the band continues, Avery occasionally reaches over and takes a french fry off my plate. Not sure that I even noticed it the first time but having seen it happen once, then a second time, I realize that it is an almost involuntary french fry theft. I smile knowing that besides breathing, nothing Avery Pemberton says or does is involuntary. I'm ready for the next attempted purloining, and soon enough she reaches for another one and I whack her hand with my fork. She stops talking to Ben, leans really close to me and whispers, "french fries are my Kryptonite Q," then takes another one anyway as she flashes me a conspiratorial smile. I laugh at her comment, but then I realize that this is an unlikely chink in Avery's armor. I imagine myself with one of those cardboard sleeves that fast food joints use to serve french fries, leaving a trail of them to somehow lure her in. Maybe I'll do that tonight, go to McDonalds, get a large order of fries then leave a trail from Avery's bedroom downstairs to the couch. Truth be told, I can't get that hot, sexy liplock out of my mind. It sent a jolt of excitement through me and although I realize it was done with another purpose in mind, it was awesome. I also realize that, 1: it will never happen again, 2: unlike remaining in touch with Margo, it actually would be cheating on Lucy and, 3: it will NEVER, EVER happen...but a guy can imagine.

Some dude shows up at our table carrying lanyards and one of those hand held bar code scanners. "Avery?" Is his one word question. She looks at him and realizes without her saying a word that she is the go to person. She opens up something on her phone, he scans it with the hand held device then counts out six lanyards with rectangular clear plastic pockets. Each is filled with an orange card that says among other things VIP in bold, black letters. He is pointing toward the opposite side of the restaurant, showing her where and telling her what time to go. She thanks him and he passes the lanyards around the table. Ben puts his around his neck and intones, "sweeeet," which makes Avery laugh. "My thoughts exactly Ben," she tells him. "Thanks Avery for, you know...everything this week," I tell her. "This is fun Q, I'm really having fun this week and I'm stoked to see my boys again. I've seen them maybe five or six times, I know you're gonna like them." I tell her that I listened to a few of their songs as well. "I have a favorite already," I tell her. "If they play it, I'll let you know." She smiles at me as if she has read my mind and knows which tune is my favorite.

We have a little time to kill before the show begins so I just sit back and assume my favorite position. My duties as observer have been secretly expanded to include chronicler of events. The whole table is exploding with chatter and laughter. Ben is very animated talking to Angela and Lacey, whatever he is saying must be good because they can't stop laughing at him. Avery has swung her chair around to face Radar, who is regaling her with God knows what, because she keeps saying "really?" and "no kidding?" laughing the whole time. I knew it, I say to myself, I knew this was gonna be a great night, and we haven't yet hit the concert. I pull out my phone take a picture of the table with everyone smiling and laughing and send it to Lucy via Snapchat. Caption: Hard Rock Cafe, lots of fun, I really wish you were with me tonight. Lucy would love this I say to myself. She's been away so long I wonder if it will be the same, that is I wonder if we will click like we did that weekend? What if we don't, what if I go there and it's not the same? It could be awkward, we could get on each other's nerves...I might have to leave early...God, that would be embarrassing. What if she doesn't really want me there but is too polite to say so? Don't ruin the night by turning into worrywart Quentin, I think. This is supposed to be fun...have some. "Having fun down there all by yourself Q?" "Couldn't be any better Benners, I'm enjoying everyone enjoying themselves." "Whatever works bro, knock yourself out," he replies. The truth is I am enjoying everyone enjoying themselves. It makes me feel good to be a part of this, to be doing something cool with my friends. I don't feel so alone anymore. I no longer feel like an outsider, above the fray, instead I feel like I'm in the middle of something, like I belong here with these people. It feels good to be with my friends, it feels...right. This is journal material for sure, I say to myself. When I'm writing about this, hope I remember everything as it is.

Without warning, Avery flies out of her chair and says, "let's bounce," and we all stand up to leave as directed. Like our Black Bean Cafe dinner the other night, The is no mention of paying for dinner, there is no check presented. The waiter sees us leaving and comes over to Avery. I hear a little bit of what he is saying, including the word generosity. I don't know how she pulls all of this off, but I'm really happy I'm a part of it. Also, I've never heard anyone say, _let's bounce._ Must be a Jersey thing. While Avery is telling Radar where we are to go to get into Hard Rock Live, he catches my eye and gives me a _can you freakin believe this_ look. I reply by nodding my head and mouthing the word _wow._ We are winding our way through the restaurant, then through the bar toward a doorway that is obviously connected to the venue next door. As we pass other patrons enjoying their Hard Rock burgers and fries, I observe that we are causing a smidge of a stir as people notice the rectangular orange badges with the bold VIP emblazoned on it hanging from the lanyards around everyone's neck. Lacey falls back a little until I catch up with her. As I do, she walks along with me and says, "you have a friend for life now Q." "I feel that way about you as well Lacey but it's nice to hear you say it," I tell her. "I have no doubt that you and I will be lifetime friends Quentin, but I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about Avery." She continues, "when we got back from the mall we were talking about you and I told her that you wished she would stay for the summer. She didn't say anything for the longest time. In fact I thought she forgot about it until she asked me, _did he really say that?_ " When I told her that is exactly what you said about her she didn't react much but I've known her forever, we are closer than sisters, it really meant a lot to her. Avery has everything anyone could ever want and more, but I often get the feeling she is lonely." "I've never met anyone even remotely like her," I say, "and...she still scares the shit out of me." Lacey and I both start laughing about me being afraid of Avery which, I am.

By this time we have reached the doorway and there are two very large, very muscular dudes checking everyone's pass. They get to me and both guys reach out and stop me. "Sir, you need a pass to get in this way" one of them intones in a semi-threatening security like way. Mine is in my pocket of course, I forgot to put it on. "Sorry dude," I say to the guy as I fish it out of my pocket and show it to them. "Right this way sir," he says as they both step aside to let me through. Ben and Radar are looking at me with the _what's wrong with you, dude_ look once we all get into the venue. This entrance is near the front of the hall. The stage is all set up, ready for the musicians to walk out and begin playing, but the place is empty except for those people with passes like we have. I notice that the passes all look the same except for the color. There are several colors besides orange and I am unsure if there is any significance to the different color passes. An usher comes along and tells us we are welcome to stand here until the show starts and then we will be shown to our seats. This is all very exciting, we're all revved up, especially Avery and Angela, they both are really wound up, and why not, I say to myself, this is truly exciting and something I'd never be doing in a million years if it wasn't for Avery. In the last couple of months, I've done quite a few things that I wouldn't have done in a million years...which makes me think about Margo. None of this would have happened if she didn't enlist me to assist her with the retribution tour and instilled the confidence in me that continues to this day. I can hear her, the sound of her sexy melodious cadence, _You're cute when you're confident._ I lean on it like a crutch, whenever I become unsure of myself I replay that moment in my mind and it helps. It helps me find my way through everything going on in my life. I become aware of Lacey standing next to me and as I focus at her smiling face she says, "Quentin, if Margo was here now she would be having a blast, she would probably have already figured out a way to get backstage, but she's not here, she gone. You are here...have some fun." I smile and nod my head in acknowledgement as Lacey continues, "I can always tell when you are thinking about her Q," then she puts her arm around me and gives me a little peck on the cheek, which continues to make me blush no matter how many times it has happened.

The main entrance must be open now as the hall is starting to fill. Ushers show up gathering groups with the VIP tickets and are herding them to their seats. One of them rounds us up and takes us to our seats...right in the freakin middle of the stage, second row. Unbelievable... un freakin believable...how does she do it, I wonder. This has been an incredible week. Avery Pemberton is absolutely amazing...and scary too. I quickly snap a pic to Lucy: WOW!, view from our seats! Music is blaring through the sound system and the hall quickly fills with an enthusiastic crowd. This band has been popular since about 2003 so there are a lot of fans in their 30's, definitely outnumbering people our age. We are all excited and the excitement continues to build until suddenly the house lights fall as someone introduces the band. The band storms the stage and they begin by playing one of their well known songs, _Smile Like You Mean it._ The fans erupt upon hearing the first notes of the well known tune and I note that Avery and Angela are already standing on their seats dancing and singing along with the lyrics.

The band continues to plays songs from all of their albums and along with really enjoying the show, I also notice that Avery has gone completely fangirl...and she has an accomplice in Angela. Ben and Lacey are holding on to each other, singing along to the tunes they know and Radar is alternating between enjoying the music and watching his fangirl girlfriend. Avery is off the hook excited, she is waving to the lead singer, yelling _Brandon,_ which I assume is the guy's name. They are putting on an excellent show and the crowd is really revved up. Most people here must be big Killers fans like Avery because almost everyone seems to know the words to every song the band plays.

They have probably played for 45 or 50 minutes when they take a short intermission break. They quickly return and the iconic guitar riff of the beginning of their most famous song fills the hall. As soon as the familiar notes are played, Avery wheels around and points right at me shouting, "this is your song Q." The crowd explodes in recognition of _Mr. Brightside_ the song that made them famous and has become an anthem of sorts. Also, Avery obviously can read minds because _Mr. Brightside_ is The Killers song that I like. The crowd is over the top as the band performs their signature song, thousands singing along _._ They continue to play for another 40 minutes, a terrific performance, then they exit the stage. The crowd hoots and hollers for the proverbial encore and soon they retake the stage to close with another Killers classic, _Somebody Told Me._ The crowd again erupts at the playing of the familiar tune and sings along to the catchy lyrics _._ Everyone seems to know the words, but no one is singing more earnestly than Avery, she is consumed by the show.

It's over...it seems like it just started, but the show is over, the band is taking their final bow to the cheering crowd and exiting the stage for the final time tonight. They put on a hell of a performance, 75 or 80 minutes of music in total. No one had a better time than the six of us. We had the best seats in the house for a terrific show. Killers fangirl Avery was beside herself, high fiving complete strangers, swooning over the lead singer, and generally going crazy throughout the show. I sent a few snaps to Lucy while the show was going on, making sure to include a pic of Angela standing on her chair going crazy for the band. I can't wait to hear what she has to say about that one. After a few minutes the crowd calms and begins to leave. Of course there is a VIP exit as well, nothing but the best for Avery. Ushers appear and direct all the VIP ticket holders to an exit on the opposite side of the building which allows us to quickly exit the venue.

The shuttles are there to ride us back to the valet circle, but we walk the short distance to get the car. Everyone is talking at once, how great the band was, how cool it was to be at center stage for the show. I liked this or that song, the girls think lead singer is so hot. Ben is in overhype, he is hopping up and down while he walks with Lacey..."that was soooooo sweeeet, they were awwwwwsome...how about that guitar solo...on and on he goes, Lacey, Radar and Angela are laughing at his Benlike over the top antics. I have nothing to say, I'm just soaking it in, trying to burn it into my brain so I can remember it as it happened. Nights like this are nights we'll never forget. I want to be able to recall how I feel right now which, truth be told, is perfect. It's great to be 18, to be with your friends, true friends, people you know you can count on, doing something really cool, something that we shared together, something that none of us will ever forget. I am already imagining Ben's future recounting of everything that happened tonight. His knack for storytelling will make it sound a hundred times better than it was, even though it was incredible. I'm walking with Avery, she has her right arm around my left, holding on to my forearm, pulling herself close, her head resting against my shoulder as though she's a little wobbly and needs my support. She is smiling, but quiet and I realize that she is indeed gassed, emotionally drained. She put as much effort into being a fan tonight as the musicians did performing their songs.

I catch myself smiling as well because this is the moment I want to hold onto forever. I want to always feel exactly like I feel right now, and I want to remember this moment forever just as it is happening. All of us together, sharing this great night during this unique time in our lives.

The walk to where the car is parked only takes a few minutes, but it seems so much longer to me because I pretty much never want it to end, but like everything else in life, my perfect moment comes to an abrupt end when we reach the valet area only to see my minivan parked in the circle, as if it knew we were coming and staged itself to meet us. Obviously, the valets took Avery to heart when she told them to _keep an eye on it._ Ben and Radar burst into laughter as soon as they spot it. "They keep the hot cars right in the front row, bro" Ben says. Radar quickly follows, I told you these minivans were in demand, when are you gonna learn to pay attention to me?" The girls are laughing, the valets are laughing, the kid chastened by Avery is nowhere to be found however. We head to the car, two of them run over and get the doors. Everyone goes around the car to get in the van, I go toward the driver's door. One kid opens the door and hands me the keys as I fish a bunch of one dollar bills out of my pocket and hand them to him saying, "thanks for keeping an eye on it." "No worries, he replies, "I wish I was you, dude," he says as I climb into the driver's seat and he closes the door. I start the car, then turn sideways so I can see everyone and intone, "on behalf of the Orlando contingent, thanks to Avery for one of the best nights ever." "Well said Quentin," Angela replies and everyone adds a polite round of applause. I look at Avery and she momentarily seems to be enjoying the attention, kinda like I do, but quickly says "Let's roll Q." I put the car in gear and head back along Celebrity Boulevard, looking in the rear view at Radar who is one step ahead of me. "I-4 Q," he says, looking up from his phone. "Got it," I reply. We are back in front of Lacey's condo complex in no time.

Spirits are high as everyone spills out of the van, through the gate and into Lacey's condo. I start to open the door but Avery grabs my arm to stop me. She is looking at me but not saying anything. It is unnerving and finally I blurt out, "whaaat Avery...whaaat?" "I understand that you wished I would stay for the summer?" she says, raising the inflection in her voice to form the question. Her eyes have me pinned in the driver's seat, I feel as though I can't move. "I did Avery." I knew that she might say something, but I thought it would come in the form of a wisecrack. She doesn't respond though, she is waiting for me to explain myself. "I pretty much don't want this summer to end," I explain. "You're only gonna be here for a few days then you're off to New Jersey. You're a big part of our summer and I wish you could stay," I tell her. "Lacey told me that when you were kids and you visited your grandparents, she pretended you were her big sister and she always wanted you to stay. I've only known Lacey for a few months and she has always been happy, much more so since you have been here I've noticed." I continue, "There's another thing too Avery." Finally, she speaks, not as if she were interrogating me, it is a matter of fact question. "What thing are we talking about Q?" "You're having a lot of fun this week Avery, I've only been around you for a few days, but I can tell." That gets me a smile. Ever since Lacey mentioned that she thought Avery was lonely, I've been looking at her in a different light, her personality, the way she interacts with others make a little more sense to me now. Of course, I don't tell her that Lacey said she thought Avery was lonely, she still kinda scares me. "You know Avery, soon all of this will be over we'll all be dispersing to our schools and that will be that. Who knows what's going to transpire, our paths may never cross again," I say to her. Upon saying it, I'm immediately reminded of Margo and her strings, which makes me well up a little bit. That day in Agloe had it's painful moments, and the idea that once again I'm faced with the reality of never seeing someone again...ever, is upsetting. The ever perceptive Avery replies, "come on Q, let's bounce before they think we're doing it in the van," which makes me laugh and wish it were so at the same time.

We exit the van and walk through the gate toward the condo. Again, Avery slides her arm under mine, pulls herself close and lays her head on my shoulder only this time she has something to say. "That's never gonna happen Q, we're always gonna see each other." I'm sure she figured out that I was thinking about Margo when talking about never seeing her again and she is trying to make me feel better. "How do you know that?" I quickly reply. "Cause I know Q...I know that we will see each other many times." That's good enough for me and I tell her exactly that as we reach the front door. Through the foyer we go, into the kitchen. The girls have broken out the liquor and are already mixing cocktails, Lacey hits us with the predictable "you were out there so long you must have been doing it in the van," wisecrack. Together, without even looking at each other, we simultaneously flip them the bird, everybody laughs. It is good cover, we don't have to explain what we were talking about in the van. Avery sits in one of the chairs at the island and I say, "I believe I'm ready for one of those Margaritas now." "Yesssir Q," Angela says. She fires up the blender and in no time I'm drinking a cool, refreshing Margarita, complete with sea salt around the rim of the glass. I can definitely taste the tequila in this one, thank goodness I'm staying here tonight.

No one is even close to being tired. Everyone is running on adrenaline, revved up by the show and all of the fun we had tonight. Martinis and Margaritas are being mixed and consumed at a fast pace. We're all staying here tonight so no one really cares how much liquor they consume. Everyone is talking at once, the noise level is rising, the laugher is non stop and in general a smile is pasted across everyone's face. Ben is downing the flavored martinis at a risky pace, changing flavors each time he makes another one. Also he is killing everyone by making fun of me, doing an exaggerated imitation of what I looked like after Avery planted that liplock on me. "Avery turned him into a zombie." He's doing his best _Walking Dead_ impersonation...well a drunken zombie walk anyway, but it is hysterical, we're all laughing like idiots at his antics. "Lacey," now he is using an exaggerated voice, "banish him from your home before he eats my brain." She instantly replies, "he'll starve eating your brain," then she caps it with an exaggerated " _BRO,"_ to howls of laughter.

The party continues late into the night. I'm laying back a little bit and watching everyone have fun. We're all still in the kitchen, everyone is seated around the kitchen island except me, I'm standing, still full of energy from the show. My phone is sitting on the island and it buzzes, Lucy FaceTiming from the beach. Everyone knows who it is and an animated and tipsy Angela grabs my phone and accepts the call. "Heyyyyyy," she says as they all crowd around her, enthusiastically hijacking my call yet again. Everyone takes a turn talking to Lucy, even Radar who usually doesn't have a whole lot to say. Lacey and Angela have the phone now and they take it into the den. I can hear them laughing and talking to Lucy. I just let the whole thing play out, I'm sure Angela misses her friend. Eventually I'll get my phone back, and eventually I do. "Not what you were expecting?" I say to Lucy, raising my voice tone to form the question. Her 1000 watt smile is switched on. "OMG, who was that girl and what have you done with Angela?" she is laughing as she says it, "I've never seen her like that, is she drinking?" "Well yeah, a little," I tell her. It's still Angela, she is more wound up from the concert than from actually drinking too much. She's the most polite partier I've ever encountered," making Lucy laugh again. "I was stunned when you sent that pic from the concert," Lucy says. "She must have really cut loose and I can't believe what she was wearing...very un-Angela." She's having a blast Lucy, we all are, plus we're all staying at Lacey's, no one has to worry about driving or going home." "Or walking home either, right Q?" a smirking Lucy fires back. "Yeah Lucy," chuckling as I answer, "no one will be walking anywhere, especially me." "Just trying to keep you out of the Trauma Center until Saturday...I need you fully functioning," she adds, wicked grin on display. "How is Marcus doing with all of this, you know, Angela as never seen before?" she continues. "When it comes to Angela, Radar happily goes along with whatever she wants to do. If she wants to go to a concert, he wants to go to a concert. If she wants to dance on a chair, he wants to dance on a chair. If she wants to dress as hot as her bestie Lucy Hanratty, that's what he wants as well," I add. "Shameless flattery will get you everywhere Q," To which I quickly reply, "all I want to do is get to Sea Island. I had fun tonight but it would have been so much better if you had been with me. You would have enjoyed this night so much Lucy, it was exciting and fun. The band was great, I really liked them." "We have time Q...lots of time" she says suddenly serious, "there's always another concert, there's always another everything and that's what I want to do. I want to do everything with you Quentin." That makes me feel good and I tell her that I imagine us doing everything together to which she quickly replies, "don't imagine, get here on Saturday and we will begin making it all happen." "I'll be there before you know it," I say. "I can't wait to see you, I hope you feel the same way," I add. Lucy replies, "I feel exactly the same way you do, when you get here it will be exactly the same as the weekend we spent together. I was worrying that it might not be the same but I realized how much I really want to be with you, so I know it will be like we were never apart." "That's what I was thinking," I tell her. "That same thought crept into my mind but I know it will be as though you drove home from my house yesterday and I'm seeing you again today." "Oh Q," she says in mock exasperation, "just get your ass here on Saturday, the rest will take care of itself. "Sounds like a plan Lucy." She quickly replies, "a damn good plan too."

"I'll snap you pics from our party tomorrow, then we can talk again late tomorrow night," she says changing the subject. What are you doing tomorrow?" "I'll be here with everyone for an Independence Day cookout. I work Thursday, I work Friday then I'll be there," I answer, and add, "I miss you Lucy. "I miss you more," she replies, now go back to the party and have fun, but not too much fun," then she ends the call. I find myself sitting on the sofa, I am imagining Saturday, how I hope it will be when I arrive at Lucy's. Avery comes into the den and sits right next to me, she holding two drinks. She hands me a cold Margarita saying, "your drink was warm, I got you a fresh one." Thanks," I reply, realizing that I'm no longer nervous that Avery is so close to me. "Finally getting used to me?" she says, smiling a little. "I suppose I am," I answer. She continues, "usually it's the other way around Q, the longer I'm around someone the more upsetting I become." I quickly eyeball her and add a skeptical, "yeah...right." "So...what's up with you and the beach girl? Everything good? "Seems to be," I reply. I was a little worried that it might not be the same since we haven't seen each other for three weeks. We were talking about that exact thing tonight, but we have no worries, it will be like she never left." "I'm certain you are right," Avery says, "I know you'll have a great time Quentin." As we are talking, I lean back on the comfortable sofa and I can feel the energy flowing out of me, the whole night, all of the excitement is finally catching up with me. Avery instinctively follows, she has to be exhausted. She leans back and turns slightly toward me so we can talk. "Come to New York, Q." She is looking right at me as she says this, her head resting against the couch back. I don't know what to say, what does she mean by _come to New York,_ does she mean next week, during school, over the holidays, what does she mean? I suppose I'm in a little bit of a panic because she says, "I don't mean relocate there, I'm saying come for a visit...it will be fun. Have you ever been there?" Actually, I have been to New York a lot, my grandparents, my dad's parents live in New Jersey. Every childhood visit to them included a day doing something in the big city. "I've been there a whole bunch of times when I was a kid," I tell her. "I knew there was a reason why I liked you Q, you're from Jersey...sorta." As she says this she slides her arm under mine as she did when we were walking to the house. "You're coming for a visit," she continues in Avery fashion. It's not a question; i.e. would you like to or, what do you think about, it's a declaration. "a long weekend or a few days over the holidays perhaps, just you and I, we'll have fun." Avery rests her head on my shoulder and says, "we'll figure it out later, okay Q?" "Sure...later...I'm good with that." I respond, but Avery is completely gassed, she is asleep before I finish talking.

I'm tired. My head resting comfortably on the couch, I'm rapidly decompressing and Avery is snuggled next to me, sound asleep. My mind is going a mile a minute though. I'm thinking about actually visiting Avery, when would I go? What does it mean? Does she really mean it? Perhaps it was the Margaritas talking and there will be no further mention of any visit. What if she really does what me to come to New York and hang with her? I'd be going for sure. When she first arrived Lacey told me, _I've learned never to argue with her._ Now knowing her, I know that if she wants me to visit her in New York, that is exactly what I will be doing. Maybe Lacey is right and her cousin really is lonely. She and Lacey really should be sisters, they are very much alike and I wonder if she has been through the relationships gauntlet like Lacey has, with the same result. Lacey is delightful and charming with those she encounters, but as a result of her experiences she is now truly close to 3 people only...and I'm one of them. Perhaps Avery has had similar experiences, I imagine that someone as beautiful and wealthy as she, likely learned the hard way to choose her friends carefully. Am I one of those carefully chosen friends? Good God...sometimes I really don't understand how I got here...here being sitting on Lacey's couch at 3 AM with Avery snuggled next to me sleeping like a baby. One night in early May, Margo opens my window and rolls into my bedroom, and everything that has happened since that moment has come rushing through right behind her. It is a torrent of change, the elation of being with Margo, the sadness of her leaving, the anguish of finding her only to let her go. All of the fun, all of the people, everything that has happened this summer began when a window was opened by the person who closed it years before.

I can feel Avery's measured breathing and it reminds me of Margo, and Agloe. It also reminds me of those dreadful nightmares that I have from time to time. I hope Margo is okay, I haven't heard from her, but she told me not to worry, I wouldn't be hearing from her for a little while. If I go to New York to hang with Avery, do I tell Margo in coming to NYC? What if I was there with Avery and I saw her? How weird would that be? Who frickin thinks about stuff like this but me?

...who is making that racket? I know that voice, why won't it leave me alone...I'm comfortable... "Quentin, Quentin...wake up." My eyes open to see Lacey standing over me with a pillow and blanket. It is quiet, all of the lights are off. Lacey is whispering, "come on Cuz, time to go to bed...Avery," a little louder now, "wake up." "I must have dozed off for a second, where is everybody Lace?" I ask. "A second...how about an hour? Come on on Cuz, get up let's go to bed." I move a little and Avery wakes up, she is grumpy. "Whaaaat Lace, I'm ok, I don't wanna go to bed." She is whining like a little girl. In a minute, she gets up and let's out an exasperated, "okay," stumbling toward the staircase. Lacey hands me the pillow and blanket, says "goodnight Q," then turns around following Avery upstairs. I stretch out on the comfy sofa with the pillow and blanket and fall asleep in seconds.

I wake up one second later...not really, but I was sleeping so soundly it seems as though only a moment went by. For a brief time I am unsure where I am, it is dark, quiet and cool in Lacey's condo, the only sound audible is the muffled hum of the central air conditioning unit. I can tell that it is morning because the bright July sun is glowing at the edges of the drawn blinds. I lay there for a second to get my bearings, fish around for my phone to check the time. It is 10:15 and I already have two snaps from the beach. One is a selfie taken at 7:19, caption: _Only doing 4 today, I have a lot to do._ The next one is only 10 minutes old, a snap of Lucy in her mirror showing off her 4th of July red, white, and blue bikini. Caption: _Feeling patriotic. Is this doin anything for you?_ Holy shit, I say to myself, she's killing me. I can't wait for Saturday. Upon reflection, that becomes my reply as well. I really should roll over and go back to sleep, but that snap sure is an eye opener, so I get up and check the fridge for something to drink. There is some OJ left from yesterday morning, I get a glass and finish it off. It tastes great. I don't feel too bad despite downing a couple of drinks. Those who sank quite a few drinks, i.e. Ben and Angela in that order, may not be faring as well. Everything we had out last night is still sitting where it was left when everyone went to bed. Also, I realize that I have no recollection of how I got that pillow and blanket let alone when everyone hung it up for the night. I start to collect and empty all of the glasses laying around the house, I put them in the dishwasher. Collect all of the liquor bottles and place them on a counter and then I dismantle the blender placing the pitcher and lid in the sink filled with water and the base on the counter as well. I gather up all of the stale food, dried up portions of fruit and a lot of other stuff and put it in the trash. Finally, I put the mixers and the uncut leftover fruit in the fridge. It doesn't look so bad now, I say to myself.

I decide that I'm going to buy everyone breakfast before Avery wakes up and buys all of us breakfast. "Avery...ouch," I say aloud to no one as my brain suddenly remembers Avery curled up next to me on the couch talking about New York. That's the last thing I remember...goddammit...I hope I didn't make an asshole of myself by trying to make out with her or some other stupid thing. I'll have to hide in my room for the rest of the summer if I made a dick out of myself in front of everyone last night. I temporarily back burner those horrible thoughts and decide to make a quick run to the same market I went to yesterday. I find my keys and head for the door but realize I don't have a key. I'll leave it unlocked, I decide. It is blazing hot already, the bright sunshine hurting my bloodshot eyes. When I get to the gate it dawns on me that once I go outside, I won't get back in unless someone is awake to let me in. That might be a little while, last night's festivities produced a few casualties requiring significant sleep time to recover. After a few minutes of standing there it dawns on me to jamb the gate latch so I can get in when I return. I find a thin flat stick that I wedge into the latch to hold it back, leaving the outer gate ajar. I drive the short distance to the market and get two fruit platters and two half gallons of fresh squeezed Florida orange juice. Then I go to the bakery and get a half dozen fresh glazed donuts and four breakfast pastries covered with icing and filled with fruit jam. I'm back at Lacey's in no time, the latch wedge held and I quickly return to Lacey's with the breakfast goodies, bringing my backpack with a change of clothes that I stashed in the van yesterday. Everyone is still sleeping, so I put the fruit and juice in the fridge, the baked goods on the island and go back to the den for a nap.

I'm awakened by activity in the kitchen. I check my phone and realize that I've been asleep for over an hour. That extra hour was just the ticket, I feel great. I get up and find Lacey and Avery in the kitchen whispering to each other. They are both wearing tee shirts and pajama shorts having just rolled out of bed, disheveled. Their hair is a mess and Avery looks a little baked too. Also, to me, they still look better than any other girls anywhere. As soon as I enter the kitchen Lacey starts giggling and Avery comes close to me and whispers in my ear, "hi there lover boy." Oh God...I did make a dick out of myself? I flop down on one of the chairs at the island and put my head in my arms laying on the island and ask, "how big of a dick was I? Whatever I said or did Avery, I apologize. "It was bad Q," Lacey says, "I have it all on my phone. Care to see it before I post it on Snapchat?" "Nooooo, please don't post it Lace, then everyone will know I'm an asshole instead of just you guys." Both girls are laughing at me, I feel like such a jerk. "Just tell me what I did," I say to Avery. "I don't remember anything after you came in with a drink for me and sat down to talk...this is so embarrassing." "Show him Cuz," Avery says, and with that Lacey shows me her phone. It is a picture of Avery curled up next to me with her head on my shoulder sound asleep. I am asleep as well and my head is resting against hers. "That's it?" I say to them..."you bastards!" They are really laughing at me now. "We were originally gonna make you squirm all day but we decided to let you off the hook," Lacey explains. "Thanks a lot," l reply. "You two are truly magnanimous. I thought I humiliated myself somehow and couldn't remember what happened." Avery says to Lacey, "see how cute he is when he's aggravated?" You're right Cuz," Lacey quickly replies, "he is kinda cute when he's all riled up." Good Lord, I say to myself, I love having these two skewer me, any attention from them is...well it's attention from them.

I get up from my seat and head toward the fridge, open it, retrieve the fruit and orange juice and say in dramatic fashion, "I," long pause for effect, "am always thinking about my friends well being. Who here would like a healthy fresh fruit and fresh orange juice breakfast? Anyone...anyone?" I'm looking around as if there are others within earshot." "Did you go out this morning Q? Oh sweetie, you are the best," Lacey says as she gets out the bowls, glasses and utensils. I pour a tall glass of orange juice, but skip the fruit and open the box filled with donuts. There is an audible gasp from both of them when they smell the fresh baked goods. Looks like I'll be getting the last laugh here, I say to myself. "Quentin," Lacey says, "are you going to eat one of those?" "Just one," I reply, "then I'm gonna eat one of these," revealing the jelly filled pastries covered with icing. "There was no place to get french fries this morning," I'm looking right at Avery, grinning, as I say this, "but I figured this stuff would work just as well." "Not fair," Avery says, "that's just not fair Q, I only have so much willpower." Lacey is looking at us with a giant what the hell are you two talking about look on her face. "What's in the boxes Q?" It's Radar, nobody heard him come down the steps. "Kryptonite," I reply keeping my gaze affixed on Avery. Without missing a beat he says, "great, I'll have some," and gets a donut out of the box. "How is Angela feeling," I ask. "Angela is going to need a little more sleep," he replies diplomatically, but we laugh anyway. "She sure did have fun last night," I say. I'm wondering what Radar thinks about, how did Lucy describe it...Angela as never seen before. Radar quickly replies, "so did I." Whatever he thinks about how Angela was last night he's keeping to himself. "I really did like that band, they put on a heck of a live show," he's talking to Avery now, "thanks for inviting me. I never would have given any thought to the Killers, but having seen them, I'm a fan." "Your welcome, my pleasure," Avery says. "I'm so happy you and Angela were able to be there." Radar pours himself a glass of orange juice while he is eating the donut, then looks at me and says "good job Q, I needed something loaded with sugar and a million calories for breakfast. How's the fruit?" he says to the girls. We both snicker as Avery and Lacey eyeball us. "Breakfast...sweeeeet." It's Ben, he is his chipper self. He looks like he slept for twelve hours, not even a hint of a hangover. "How is he even alive?" I say to Radar as Ben is bouncing into the kitchen. "Not sure," Radar replies. "All of those flavored martinis would have crushed me." "Same here dude, not sure how he does it," I reply. Ben has reached the kitchen island and he is opening the box filled with pastries and is about to choose one when he feels Lacey burning a hole through him with her stare. He changes course on the fly, "Bro, no way I'm eating one of those cholesterol bombs, can I have some of that fruit Lacey?" He says with a level of sincerity that is believable unless, of course, you know him like we do. Radar and I are snickering as this is taking place earning us a Lacey deadeye as well. Radar leans over to me and whispers, "still worth it," to which I quickly reply, "damn straight." "You two," Lacey says in stern fashion, "better learn how to take care of yourselves. You have to eat better guys, I'm only getting on you because I want you to be healthy." She's right, we know she's right, but that doesn't make it any less funny that Ben has completely conformed to the world according to Lacey, thus providing Radar and I with an endless supply of ammo to ride his ass.

None of this prevents either of us from enjoying the baked goods however. Radar gets another donut and I get one of the jelly filled pastries out of the box and eat the whole thing, washing it down with the chilled orange juice. Little more is said about our dining habits as the talk turns to a combination of all the fun we had last night along with what we are doing today. We quickly decide to delay the start of today's festivities because 1; it is blazing hot and 2; all of us are at different stages of recovery from last night's revelry so the later we start, the better off we will be. Lacey and Avery begin to plot the logistics of the late afternoon cookout with tasks being assigned to everyone. Avery has assigned my task, "Q, you're with me." "Ok," I say knowing better than to argue with Avery. Upon hearing everything being planned it dawns on me that today's party is going to include more than the six of us. I don't ask for details, I decide to wait and see who is invited. "What are the chances of me using your shower Lace?" I ask. "Zero," she replies emphatically. "However, the shower in the guest room is available, that's the one Ben has been using this week." "So...it appears as though there are limits to our friendship," I say in mock surprise. Lacey quickly replies, "that's right Q, and entree to my bathroom is definitely beyond those limits. I've seen your bathroom." "Good point Lace, I wouldn't let me use your bathroom either," I say as I head upstairs for the guest room. I really need a shower, I'm glad I remembered to bring a change of clothes. My quick shower and change skills come in handy yet again as I'm in and out of there in less than 15 minutes. If feel so much better now, I really needed to wash up and brush my teeth. I notice a text on my phone.

12:48 PM

Ashley: Are you going to Lacey's cookout this evening?

Well, I now know of one person who is invited.

Q: I'm at Lacey's now, helping to get everything organized, hope to see you tonight.

Ashley: Well, that's the thing. Can I call you?

Q: Sure.

Read: 1:01 PM

My phone buzzes a moment later, I accept the call, "Hey Ash, what's up?" "Here's the deal Q," she answers. "Your friend Lacey invited me to her cookout, and I really want to go because I never get to go anywhere and Vinny's is closed today, I don't have to work. So I asked my mom, but she said no I can't take the car. Then I asked her if I got a ride could I go. She originally said no to that as well, but is willing to let me go if I can go with you." "Ok, Ash, we can figure something out, I tell her." "Here's the thing Q, she wants to talk to you about the party before I go. Could you come over here and talk to her? Otherwise, I'm stuck at home once again," she explains. "No worries, Ash, I'll be at your kitchen door around 5:30. I'm glad you can come, this is gonna be a fun evening." "Thank God Q, you are my savior, see you later," she says and ends the call. Duty calls Quentin, I say to myself. Not sure if I'm fixing the broken, righting a wrong, or arbiter of a disagreement, whatever category this falls under, I'm expected to handle it.

I return to the kitchen where everyone is still making plans for tonight. "I feel much better," I announce as I walk in. "Great Q," Avery says heading for the stairs, "we can get going as soon as I'm ready." I don't really respond, I head for the den to relax until Avery is ready. I'm certain that this will be interesting. "Feeling better?" It's Lacey poking her head into the den. "Yup, that shower is just what I needed. Ashley texted me, she is coming tonight," I tell Lacey. "Good I'm glad she can make it," Lacey replies. "I have to go and get her or she isn't allowed to come." "Fortunately for her you're a good friend," she says. "I'm something, that's for sure. Are there a lot of people coming tonight Lace?" "More people," she says. "Ben and I talked about this for a couple of days, who do we invite? We can't have too many or my neighbors will get upset and complain to Joe & Janet. You met them, you can imagine how they would react if we stir up all of the neighbors," she says with a nervous laugh. "Oh yeah," I quickly reply, "your dad just _loves_ me." "Actually, he does like you Quentin and he loves Ben," she explains. "Ok then...I can't imagine how he is with people he doesn't like," I say to her. She laughs, again...a nervous laugh, "oh, I can tell you all about it," she continues. "He hated every guy I dated and wasn't fond of my friends either, except for Margo...he has a soft spot for her." "Who doesn't," I reply which gets an understanding nod from Lacey. "Part of it is that I'm older now and I think they leave me alone a little more, but part of it is you guys...he has mentioned more than once that he is happy that I am hanging with _smart people who know where they are headed in life_. Plus, he knows Angela's dad. Apparently Mr. Robertson does a lot of work for the hospitals. When we went to that pool party, he realized that the Angela who invited us was the daughter of Willie Robertson so he ok with all of you guys." "Good thing he's not a mind reader," I quip which makes Lacey laugh. "Right Q, if he could read your mind he would be making arrangements for your involuntary commitment. Also," she continues with a smirk, "I want to point out that there is a list of people who are NOT invited...I'm certain that you can imagine who's on that list as well." Lacey remembers everyone who sided with Becca when Becca humiliated her after prom and she remembers everyone who mocked her for going to prom with Ben. "I can," and begin to elaborate but I don't get too far as Avery appears. "Let's bounce Q," she announces. I spring up from the couch at the sound of her voice, smiling. We emerge from the condo into the hot afternoon sun, both commenting on the extreme heat even for Orlando in July. We're in my van now, air conditioning on max and Avery says, "what's so funny?" "Nothing Avery...not sure what you mean," I reply. When I came downstairs ready to go, you were smiling at something funny," she continues. Now I know what she is talking about and it makes me smile again. "What the hell is so funny Q?" "Let's bounce," I reply. "I've never heard anyone say that before...it's so...you." She glances at me saying, "you're damn right." "So...are we touring Orlando this morning or do we have a destination?" She answers, "We do have a destination...smartypants, I guess you're waiting for me to tell you where to go?" "Not really," I reply. "I'm assuming you just want to spend the entire afternoon with me." I'm grinning at Avery as I say this and add, "I thought later we could stop at McDonalds for french fries, nothing but the best for my friends." Avery is eyeballing me while I'm chuckling at her. "Can I assume you are no longer afraid of me Q?" raising her voice tone to form the question. "Oh no...you still scare the shit out of me, I'm just living dangerously today," I tell her. "That you are Quentin Jacobsen," she is smiling as she says this though. Let's find a supermarket, we have a lot of stuff to get for tonight."

I'm not completely familiar with Lacey's section of town but we find a Publix in short order, park the van and head for the store. As she did last night, Avery slips her right arm under my left and leans on me as we walk through the lot toward the store. This takes me by surprise. I assumed last night was a one off occurrence fueled by drinks and the excitement of the concert. She says nothing and I find myself wishing the store was about a mile away. It isn't though and as we reach the storefront Avery says, "get two carts, I have a long list." We are winding our way through the Publix, Avery is filling the cart I'm pushing with the food and snacks we will need this evening. After she gets everything we need, she steers her cart toward the drink section of the store, loading up on beer, wine and some soft drinks as well. There is a guy handing out promotional items emblazoned with a brewers logo. Something catches Avery's eye, she breaks into a sly gin, then quickly grabs and pockets the item "I'm pretty sure we have enough liquor left over from last night," she says as we roll our carts past the bottles of liquor stacked high on shelves. "There is plenty left for the martini and margarita drinkers," I reply. "I'll be skipping the martinis tonight," Avery says to which I quickly reply, "a little rough around the edges?" Raising my voice tone to form the question. She looks right at me and says, "you're just loving this aren't you Q?" "Whaddya mean," I answer in a conspiratorial way. "I would never revel in the misery of a friend in the throes of a wicked hangover." "Yeah...okay...you're feeling my pain now," she sarcastically replies. "Yup, that's it," I quickly answer, "feeling your pain." "You're gonna be feeling some pain in a minute boy," she is a little riled up now and I quickly reply, "which is why you scare the shit out of me." I'm laughing at this exchange, she is too...sorta. My phone has been buzzing while all of this shopping has been taking place and I have my phone sitting in the cart checking the snaps as they arrive from the beach. Avery snatches my phone from the cart, keys in 4399 and is checking out the snaps. "You better rest up for next week Q," she is flashing me a wiseass grin. "She looks like a live one. That body is built for speed, not sure you can keep up." "Neither am I," I fire back, "but I'm willing to die trying...what a way to go." That makes her laugh and like her cousin, she quickly returns to happy Avery saying, "I know everything is going to go great for you next week, I'm certain that you will have a blast. "She reprises something one of them said to me earlier, "Forecast for the beach next week...hot and steamy," as she laughs at her own joke, I'm thinking; God, I hope she's right.

We arrive at checkout. While all of this shopping is going on I'm wondering how Avery is going to buy the cart filled with beer and wine. She's not 21, and even though I've seen her pull off a few things during the week, if they ask for her ID, we're dead. I am helping her put the wine bottles on the belt and I hear the dreaded words, "may I see your ID please?" We're cooked, I'm thinking, panic surges through me and I'm sure that I have a panic stricken look on my face. This will be humiliating, we will have to forgo an entire cart filled with booze. I'm sure people will be laughing at us, however as I'm seized by impending doom, Avery opens the little wallet she is carrying and hands something to the checkout girl. She glances at it, swipes it in the card reader handing it back with a polite "thank you, ma'am." I'm staring at the floor like a little kid who knows he's in trouble. I'm gonna hear about this on the way back to Lacey's. I look at Avery and she already has the _what did you expect_ look on her face. We push the carts through the parking lot to the minivan, pop the hatch and unload all the stuff. I dispose of the carts while Avery gets in the van. I climb into the driver's seat, looking straight ahead and start the van, I can feel Avery's gaze on me. "Quentin," she says. I look at her but she's smiling. "You can get anything in New York," she explains, handing me what appears to be her driver's license. There's Avery on a State of New York license with a New York City address. The birth date is 8/19/1995, making her a month shy of 22 years old. "But they swiped it, how does that work?" I ask. "Not sure Q, but it works...what I do know is you can get anything in New York," she repeats, laughing as she says it. "Tell me again why you have to leave on Saturday?" I say to her. She doesn't answer the question, she says "let's roll Q." I do as directed, put the car in gear and head for the exit. "Where to...McDonalds?" Wham...she cracks me right on the shoulder. "Brat," she exclaims...I never should have told you that."

I can't tell if she is really angry or just playing with me, either way, I shut up and drive, steering the minivan back to Lacey's. We park and I finally say something, "I assumed you had nowhere else to go this morning or you would have told me." "You assumed correctly," she replies. Rut roh, I'm in deep doo doo if she is really mad at me because if she is mad at me then Lacey will be mad at me. I don't want to be the guy who ruined the day because I was being a smartass.

We both schlep all of the food and drinks into the condo without a word between us. After the last stuff has been carried into the house she says, "ice...we forgot to get ice." "How about if I just get it later, it would probably melt anyway it's so hot today." "Come here Quentin," she says in stern fashion, snagging my arm pulling me through the sliding door onto the deck. "Q," she begins, "be yourself, stop worrying about what other people think." "I do though," I tell her. "I'm a world class worrier. I don't want you to be mad at me because I was being an asshole." She quickly replies, "I'm not mad at you and you weren't being an asshole...a brat maybe," she says smirking. "I was actually enjoying you busting my butt about having a hangover and going to McDonalds for french fries. I have loads of friends, but when I watch the five of you interact, I realize that I don't have any close friends." "They have mercilessly teased you all week, but it's funny and I watch as you laugh with them, get your shots in too, and I find myself envious of you. They all love you and you love all of them, or something like that." I'm not sure where this is going but it is reminiscent of Lucy quizzing me about the same thing, so I decide to explain it the same way. "So...here's the story, short version." I continue, "several months ago I had two friends in the entire world, Radar and Ben. We banded together in the middle school for survival and became fast friends. All we ever did was hang out and play video games, we were invisible. We have always teased each other mercilessly, with Ben being the number one target. No topic was off limits but it was all in fun. No one else cared if we were alive or dead, it was just us, so we made the most of it. Radar had begun dating Angela but that didn't really change anything. Then came that night in May which changed everything, you know the story, no sense in repeating it. Now I have a third best friend and a friend in Angela as well. Ben and Lacey are a thing. If it wasn't for Angela, I'd never have met Lucy. I'm off track now I promised the short version, sorry Avery," I say, stopping to take a breath. "You did." she says, waiting for me to continue, and I do, pausing to gather my thoughts. "Then," I say with emphasis, "a smart, beautiful, dynamic girl, unlike anyone I've ever met shows up last Saturday and within a few days time I somehow feel that I have made another friend. So...you're just getting the friend treatment?" raising my voice tone to form a question, hoping she buys the explanation. She is looking right at me, her baby blue's locked onto my eyes. I can't help but notice that she looks exactly like her cousin right now which makes me smile. "The friend treatment, she finally says, "okay. Goddamn, it's hot today," she says, changing the subject as we instinctively retreat into the air conditioning.

Back inside Avery seems as though she wants to talk some more so I ask her, "I have made another friend, right Avery?" "Quentin," she says, "truth be told I've never had a friend like you. We're always going to be friends, I wasn't babbling last night, you're coming to New York for a visit." "Tell me again Avery, why you can't stay here for the summer?" "Let's see," she replies, "who is headed for the beach to spend a week with a bikini model?" "I'll only be gone for a week, I tell her, "besides I took a survey, everyone else wants you to stay, especially Lacey." "We will decide before Saturday when you're coming for a visit. It will be great Q, you and I, the big city, what do you think?" I quickly reply, "I think that I'm really gonna miss you when you go home. Speaking of going home, that's what I have to do. I'll be back with the ice...and Ashley, text me if you guys need me to get anything else for tonight." Lacey has come into the kitchen where we have been talking. I can tell by the look on her face she wants to know what we have been discussing. She will hear all about it after I leave. "Where is everyone else?" I say to Lacey. Ben is in the shower and Radar is upstairs with Angela. I believe we have a casualty resulting from last night's festivities," she adds. "Ouch...I hope she is feeling better," I reply and on cue Angela appears in the kitchen looking a little peaked and says, "I am...for the most part, thank God I was able to stay here last night." Lacey and Avery immediately turn their attention to reviving Angela and I head for home.

While making the short drive to my house I begin to wonder exactly what is going on with Avery. That was an odd encounter, I say to myself. She was trying to tell me something but at the same time seemed reluctant to do so, as though I was expected to figure it out myself. She said, _I've never had a friend like you._ What the hell is that supposed to mean? Maybe Lacey is right, perhaps she is lonely. She certainly is wary of others, that's for sure. Could she actually want me to visit her in New York? Unlikely. I'm sure Lacey will shed some light on this when I speak to her. I have already reached our driveway and have been sitting in the car worrying about what it all means when it dawns on me that Avery telling me to, _be yourself Q,_ is not unlike Margo's _Q, you're cute when you're confident._ Both of them are telling me the same thing in a slightly different way. I wonder what Margo is doing today? How long has it been since I received that impromptu, daybreak phone call? It seems like forever ago but it was only Monday I think. I miss her so much. I really would like to talk to her right now. I hope she is ok and I hear from her soon. My buzzing phone jolts me out of my trance, more snaps from the beach. It looks as though the Hanratty 4th of July picnic is already in full swing. My reply is, "Forecast for Saturday at Sea Island: Hot & Steamy!

I check the time, it's after 3. How long have I been sitting here, I wonder. I go through the garage and into the house, my mom and dad are sitting in the den. My mom says, "we didn't expect to see you until later tonight." "It is so hot we decided to move the cookout to late in the day," I tell her. "How was the show?"she asks. The concert? It was great. Everyone had a terrific time. Are you going to Speigelman's for a cookout?" I ask even though I already know the answer. When I was a kid, during my first life, we would go to Speigelman's for a cookout every 4th of July. It was another day with Margo and I loved it. "We are, that's what we do every year," my mom says. "Figured as much," I say. With that I turn and head for my bedroom saying, "if Margo makes an appearance, tell her I said hi." I disappear into my bedroom not waiting for a response.

Safely behind a closed bedroom door, I no longer have to worry about being interrogated. Sitting on the edge of my bed my eye lands on my iPad hooked up to the charger, battery now at 100%. Without thinking I open it, tap on the pages app and open blank. Once again I say to myself; _blank, how apropos._ I unsheathe the stylus and begin:

 **4 July, 2017...3 something in the afternoon and a simple question asked of my parents, a question to which I already know the answer, "are you going to Speigelman's for a cookout?" Has launched this unplanned journal entry. Telling my mom "if Margo makes an appearance, tell her I said hi," just to be a wiseass has backfired. The mention of her name has made me melancholy. Even though I know where she is, even though we are in contact, even though she called and we actually spoke for a few moments, I wish she was here, not far away, focused on something else. I wish she was here with me is what I really mean. I wish she was focused on me and I on her. I wish she was right next door, and I would be going with my mom and dad to her house for a cookout, it would be terribly boring, Margo and I retreating to her room to listen to something from her awesome collection of music or to talk about whatever each of us was reading. Or...maybe we would just bail to our house, in my bedroom behind the closed door and just talk. Maybe she would do all of the talking and I would listen, my ultimate simple pleasure. Nothing is ever going to fill the Margo void, friends, old and new, girlfriends, partying, hanging out, road trips, concerts, you name it, distractions all. I lift up my laptop to hoping to see the iconic mRs3324 email addy, but I** **know even before I look it is not there. I'm just kidding myself with all of this stuff going on in my life. On one level it is certainly something for which I often wished, to be not invisible, and on that level it is very satisfying. However I know that it is tenuous, fleeting, a phenomenon connected to the temporary suspension of time. It has no real meaning, no roots, no traction, no sustainability, abruptly ending on August 20 something. What does this say about me? I'm gleefully participating in what I already know to be vain and shallow, but I don't really care. I am really enjoying all of this newfound attention, regardless of how vapid it seems. Have I morphed into the hypocritical phony that I once held in such distain? I hope not, I like to think that I'm better than that.**

 **Enough of Quentin angst...for this entry anyway. I have duties to which I must attend. Duties bequeathed to me by Margo which I have reluctantly accepted. Even though this is one area where I can never be as effective as Margo, that is not what everyone else believes. Not sure if I'm righting a wrong or fixing the broken. Actually, it is a combination of the two. The wronged / broken subject today is one Ashley Alexa Ramsey, rising junior, crack waitress at Vinny's and someone who has lived her entire life right behind my house even though I was unaware of her existence. Lacey invited her to the cookout we are having tonight and today's task is; convince her mom that it is ok for Ashley to attend. This is the easy part because her mom already told her she could go if she went with me. All that is required is that I talk to her about the party. Ashley is the oldest in her family, they seem very protective of her and she is chafing under the parental restraints. If her mom knew how twisted and tortured a being I am, she would instantly reconsider. The other part is much more challenging as it seems Ashley is a kindred spirit. She told me that she never discussed her past with anyone before then unburdened herself of years of misery. Her story is the Ugly Duckling tale come to life. Tall, painfully skinny with arms and legs seemingly too big for the rest of her, a mouth full of braces, frizzy hair and glasses, life was hell for her in the middle school. Shunned by the girls, mercilessly mocked by the boys, she retreated within to endure. She is a kindred spirit that I completely understand having lived a similar miserable existence. Time heals all wounds they say but in her case time worked wonders. By her own accounting, one day when she was 14, she woke up and realized that she had become the swan. She hasn't been able to come to terms with everything that goes along with being the swan. She is reserved, wary of others and has a long memory of those who wronged her in the past. Ashley asked me straight away if she and I could hang out and do some things this summer. All she has been doing this summer is waitress at Vinny's and hang at her pool. I can sense that she is excited to go to the cookout and be among some different people.**

 **I'm writing about this because I have come to realize that we all trade in our own forms of currency and the currency of record is appearance. If you're hot, you're on top of the heap. Ashley has seen both sides of this phenomenon and she is really struggling to come to terms with it. She has selected me to right the wrong. Margo was so much better at this sort of thing, but it has fallen to me to handle it. Everyone expects that I know exactly what to do as these situations arise. Margo always knew, but often, I am clueless. At the same time I want things to go well for Ashley, I want her to be comfortable with her newfound circumstances and will help her if I can. Time to get going...more later.**

Holy shit, I say to myself checking my phone, it's almost 5 o'clock. I zoned out while writing that journal entry...I'll have to read it later to make sure it doesn't completely suck, but right now I have a half hour to shower, get ready to go and get over to Ashley's house. I quickly do so, change my clothes, grab a swimsuit and some other stuff to go into my backpack. I also realize that I haven't seen a snap from the beach for a while.

Today, 5:25 PM

Q: Hey!

She replies instantly

Lucy: Hey yourself!

Q: The beach countdown clock is at 60 hours and counting...more or less.

Lucy: Make it go faster...please.

Q: If only

Lucy: Where are you?

Q: I'm at home. Going to Lacey's for a cookout. Should be very tame, I have work tomorrow.

Lucy: Ugh.

Q: Well said.

Lucy: FaceTime late?

Q: Keep trying until I wake up

Lucy: Alrighty.

Read, 5:25 PM

Alrighty? She and Lacey are obviously collaborating. As I text Lucy, I toss my backpack in the van and head for Ashley's back door. I wonder if I can get through the yard and return, Ashley in tow, without anyone at Speigelman's cookout noticing. I could drive around to the Ramsey's Cul de Sac but I walk through the yard instead, through the tree line that separates the Jacobsen and Ramsey estates, entering through the gate in the pool fence and up the steps to Ramsey's abbreviated deck. I raise my hand to tap on the glass and Ashley appears, patented smirk on full display as she slides open the door. "Right on time Q," she says, to which I quickly reply, "you were expecting anything less?" "I'm expecting the great Quentin Jacobsen to negotiate my release from this prison for the evening," she answers, which makes me laugh out loud. "I'll try my utmost," I reply still laughing at her prison reference. "You look nice Ash," I add going the flattery route, but she does indeed look nice. She is wearing a white and red Florida State tee shirt, khaki shorts and brilliant white sneakers that my grandmother would refer to as _tennies._ Her ever present wide headband, worn to control her thick curly hair matches the Florida State red in her shirt, gold earrings and a couple of gold chains as well. No bathing suit top and impossibly short cut offs today, but that's not why she looks great. She looks great because her thick curly dark brown hair plunging way below her shoulders, her dark perfect skin tone, and her deep dark brown eyes give her a mysterious, alluring appearance. "Hold that thought Q, here come the jailers now." Jailers? I thought I would be talking to Mrs. Ramsey not her dad too. I've never laid eyes on this guy, I say to myself. I can feel my pulse quickening not unlike when I was hyperventilating during the revenge tour. Mrs. Ramsey appears in the kitchen, all smiles, "hello Quentin, thanks for coming over. How are your parents?" she asks. "Well," I reply. "They are visiting friends for a cookout today," leaving out the part where if you look between the trees on the property line, you can see them. I notice that Ashley has once again positioned herself out of her mom's line of sight and is making faces as she talks. We appreciate that you are taking Ashley with you to this party, we don't know the people hosting the party and are a little nervous about her going alone. I'm about to answer the question when I spot an incoming bogey. No doubt this is Mr. Ramsey, Ashley looks a lot like her dad. Once again I deploy the charm offense, it's worked every time, except for Lacey's dad where it had only limited success. "Hello sir," I say, right hand outstretched, I'm Quentin Jacobsen, so nice to meet you." I quickly glance at Ashley who gives me the giant eye roll. Good God, I think, they have all perfected the eye roll. Mr. Ramsey shakes my hand in a matter of fact, businesslike manner and says, "yes, hello...Quentin... Connie's boy, right? "Yes sir," I reply. We hear about you a lot Quentin, Ashley tells us you're the best tipper at Vinny's. To which I quickly respond, "that's because Ashley is the best waitress at Vinny's." He laughs a little at my response, it lightens the mood a bit. I turn to Mrs. Ramsey to answer the question she asked about the party. "My friend Lacey Pemberton is having the cookout. She lives in a condo complex and we will be outside around the condo pool. My friend Ben Starling is dating Lacey. You know him from band, he was here with me on Monday." "Oh...right, Ben and Marcus, I do know them from band," she replies. It is a small group tonight, we can't disturb the neighbors," I tell them. "How about alcohol," Mr. Ramsey asks. Great, I think to myself, I'll be happy to take as much as I can carry, but that's not what I say. "Truth be told Mr. Ramsey, there will be alcohol at the party, but none for me tonight, I have to work tomorrow at 8:00 so I won't be drinking. I'll have Ashley safely home by the appointed hour which is?" "Midnight," they both say in unison. Mrs. Ramsey continues, "we would prefer if you had her home by 12." "No worries Mrs. Ramsey, I can do that. "Thank you Quentin, we're happy Ashley is meeting nice people." I glance at Ashley and she is making a choking gesture which catches me off guard and I start to laugh. Mr. Ramsey looks at Ashley and says in as stern a manner as he can muster, "ok you can go, but no drinking Ashley, you're only 16." "Ok daddy, I promise," she says, picking up her backpack and cueing our exit.

I say goodbye to the Ramsey's and we head out through the sliding door, across the deck, around the pool and out the gate into the grass, headed toward the tree line. Neither of us say a word until we cross the tree line which acts like a trigger. "OH...MY...GOD, that was SO embarrassing. They are trying to humiliate me, I can't imagine what you're thinking after that interrogation." "No worries Ash, I did spring you from prison for several hours, you should be happy, I tell her. "I am Quentin and seriously, thanks for doing this for me. I know you went out of your way to do so. You probably weren't even planning to come home this afternoon." She's right, but I'm not telling her that. "Oh no Ash," I explain, "I was in big time need of a hot shower, deodorant and toothpaste." "Well," she is smirking now, "you smell ok to me Q," to which I quickly reply, "I'm big on personal hygiene...just sayin." By this time we have reached the minivan, she is sitting in the passenger seat as I back out of the driveway. I realize that I didn't even check to see if my mom and dad noticed us crossing the lawn. If they did, I will hear all about it. "Wow," she says in mock awe, my first ride in Orlando's most famous minivan, "l feel honored," wiseass grin splashed across her face. I just shake my head and smile, "whatever."

Ashley gets her backpack off the floor and opens it, then she undoes her seat belt and pulls her Florida State tee shirt over her head revealing a white bikini top so small that is not only straining to contain the contents but largely failing to do so. As this happens I almost drive across someone's lawn. Then she unbuttons her shorts and slides them off revealing a matching white bikini bottom. I must have some stupid look on my face or my tongue is hanging out or something. The white suit against her dark skin tone is so unbelievably hot that I can barely concentrate on driving. She pulls a pair of cut off jeans shorts out of her back pack, then looks at me and says, "Since we've already slept together, I'm OK with you watching me change." Then she wiggles into the shorts, kicks off her white sneakers and pulls on a pair of wedge high heels that were stashed in her backpack. "I'd never get out of my house dressed like this," mischievous grin on her face. Then more sarcasm, "even the great Quentin Jacobsen wouldn't be able to get the warden to release me." "Well played Ash...well played," is all I can muster.

Ashley upgrading her wardrobe has distracted me completely and I almost forget to pick up ice, remembering as we roll by the market where I had earlier bought breakfast. "Crap," I say then turn at the next corner to round the block. "I almost forgot to get ice," I say. "Something distracted me, not sure exactly what," I say grinning at her. I quickly park the van run inside and buy a shopping cart size load of ice, toss it in the back of the van and in no time we are at Lacey's. I park, then text Lacey to send Ben and Radar out to help with the ice. Momentarily they appear and we get out of the van. "Sweet baby Jesus," Ben exclaims loud enough that Ashley couldn't help but hear, reminiscent of his initial encounter with Lacey. "Hi guys," Ashley says to them. They stop dead in their tracks responding as expected in their patented half beat off simultaneous answer, "hey Ashley...hi Ashley." "The ice is in the back," I tell them. "Make sure you close the sliding door." I got the ice, they can carry it, I say to myself as we head toward the gate. While walking the short distance to the gate, she stops, turns to me and asks, "you don't think I'm some kind of whore or anything like that do you Q?" "Oh my God...no Ash...where would you get that idea?" I don't want you to think that I'm loose just because I changed in the car. You are the only person in the world that I would change in front of." "Ashley," I say trying to be sincere, "I don't think anything like that. I'm happy that you are comfortable enough around me to change in front of me." She doesn't answer, she is burning a hole through me with those dark brown eyes as she places her hand on my cheek and smiles. Wordlessly, we turn and walk the balance of the distance to the gate. I stop for a second when we reach the gate and say, "I would like to point out however, that you look smokin hot in that bikini." "Shut up Q," she says as she smacks my arm. Wait till these guys get an eyeful of Ashley is what is going though my mind as I swing open the gate.

We circle the condo complex heading toward the pool. It is an incredibly hot evening, all the girls are wearing their swimsuit tops and shorts and virtually all of the guys are wearing their swim suits as well. Quite a few people have already arrived including Lucy's pals Kayla and Kyra who are staring at her for the longest time until one of them says, "Ashley...hi...you look great," both of them rushing over to talk to her. It appears as though they are on the list of preferred customers at Vinny's because Ashley seems happy to see them too. I leave her with them and keep walking. There are some people here, friends of Ben and Lacey that I know slightly, I say hi as I pass by. I have to face Lacey and Avery sooner or later, so I choose sooner, just to get it over with. "Hey guys, nice night for a cookout," I say as I walk up to them. "Are you kiddin me Q," Lacey says. Avery says nothing, she is just laughing at me. "I can't believe that's the same girl that works at Vinny's. I did see her at that party last week and she looked cute, but wow, what an entrance." "Go easy on her Lace, she didn't always look like she does now and she is really struggling with it." Her parents are really strict, they pretty much won't let her go anywhere, so she is really excited to be here tonight." "She's a sweet girl Quentin, you know I would never...I interrupt Lacey, "l know Lace, just trying to give you a little background info. She seems to want to meet some new people. "Looking like she does tonight, she will meet as many people as she can stand," Avery interjects. "That's kinda the problem, she is wary of others and unsure of herself." "Thank you Dr. Jacobsen for that analysis," Avery says sarcastically. Avery glances over at Ashley and the JPark crew chatting, then looks at me and says, "somebody's gonna have some _splainen_ to do." "Yeah, I already considered that, one of them probably already texted Lucy," I say. "I'll handle it, I suppose."

Where's Angela?" I ask suddenly aware that she is neither with the JPark girls nor with Radar. "Angela is having a rough day," Lacey explains. "Too much fun last night. Radar took her home, she is coming over later by herself." "Oh yeah...I can sympathize, it's almost like she drank half of a giant bottle of wine" Lacey laughs as she recalls the _killer wine night. "_ At least she made it home without getting run down by a car." I'm laughing as well recalling the whole crazy night. "Good point Lace."

While we have been jabbering about nothing, Ashley has made her way over to where we are standing, hugging Lacey which takes her by surprise but because she is Lacey Pemberton, she remains gracious. "Lacey," she says, you are such a kind person. Thank you for inviting me tonight, it really means a lot to me because I never get to go anywhere except work." Lacey is smiling, "we're all so happy you could come." She turns to Avery and says with her hand outstretched, "hi, I'm Ashley. I know you're Lacey's cousin but I don't know your name." "I'm Avery, glad you were able to make it." Not letting a chance to be a wiseass pass by, I say, "hello, I'm Quentin Jac..." "Shut up Q," she says, striking her patented hands on her hips, smirk on her face pose. Lacey and Avery burst into laughter and Avery says, "come with us my young friend, we have much to discuss." With that Avery and Lacey escort Ashley toward the kitchen. In tow, she turns toward me and sticks out her tongue. She is in the best of hands I say to myself as I look for Radar.

He and Ben are talking to a group of kids from our class, or to be precise, Ben is talking and everyone else is laughing. The guy literally went from worst to first in about 3 months, courtesy of his gorgeous girlfriend, but boyfriend Ben acts as though he knew all along this was his destiny. Truth be told, none of these people are on my list of those I ever want to see again, but confident Q is also personable Q so reluctantly, I make the effort. Everyone says hey Q or what's up Q like they've known me forever when in fact most of them would have stepped over my rotting carcass laying in the school hallway without giving it a second thought. Tonight they want to talk to me though, because they all want to know about Ashley. One of the girls asks, "She's the one who works at Vinny's?" One kid says, "she and Margo are your neighbors? Are you kiddin me?" "Yeah," I reply, attempting to be as sociable as I can muster, and answering both questions, "well Margo was my neighbor but yeah, Ashley lives behind me and Margo's house is next door to me." "Damn, that's where I want to live," he replies. "I was actually thinking of canvassing the neighborhood, perhaps there are others not yet known to me," I tell him. Everyone laughs at my wisecrack and I say to myself, not bad for people I never want to talk to or see again. A few other people, all friends of Ben and Lacey have joined the conversation. They all greet me like they've known me for years, and I say hello to them like I'm happy to see them, but I'm not. It's not like I hate them or I want to exact revenge for my high school misery, it's just that I really only want to talk to and be with people who mean something to me. I am making the effort though, the Pemberton Corollary in action. Having been so wrong about Lacey, I have vowed never to jump to conclusions about anyone ever again. My vow has paid off as well I suddenly realize. I begin to list the fruits of my implementation of the Pemberton Corollary. Exhibit number 1: The person for which the Pemberton Corollary is named. Lacey has become a trusted best friend, and I love her in a best friend kinda way. 2: Avery Pemberton, Lacey's cousin, a stunning, dynamic girl who is unlike anyone I've ever met, who seems to have adopted me like a pet. 3: I have become close to Radar's girlfriend Angela Robertson who is a life long friend of 4: Lucy Hanratty, a beautiful girl who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her. Then there is 5: Ashley, who I never would have met if I didn't become friends with all of these people because I never would have been going to Vinny's so she could wait on us. Perhaps the next person to befriend me is among the people standing here talking to me now. I conclude that to be unlikely but... "BRO," he shouts, it's Ben, "this is Plant Earth, are you anywhere nearby?" Everyone laughs at comedian Ben, "l'm sorry guys, I was thinking about something." One of the girls says, "you've always been so mysterious Quentin." Radar answers her, "Not mysterious, just defective," lots of laughter. "If you ignore him," he continues, "then you'll be just like us." "Tru dat Bro," Ben quips as he and Radar fist bump. "Whatever," I mumble. Comedian Ben resumes his monologue entertaining those gathered around and I resume looking for a way out of here.

I catch Radar's eye and tilt my head to the side with a motion indicating that I want a private word with him. We step to the side and I ask, "how's Angela? I heard she had a rough day." "Oh boy, did she ever...too much fun" Radar replies. "I took her home right after you left and she went to her room and took a long nap." "I can sympathize. I felt horrible after the killer wine night, didn't really recover until Wednesday morning." She just messaged me, she'll be here in a little while," Radar tells me. Ben's monologue must be over because he is now standing with us. "So...dude" Ben says to me. Here we go, this is gonna all be about Ashley, but that's not what my best buddies want to talk about. "What's up with you and Avery?" I take a breath in anticipation of answering but Radar interjects, "and don't give us your standard b.s. we're not stupid...something is going on between you two." "Yeah dude," it's Ben's turn now. "She was hanging with you, and on you all night last night, what up with that?" "I dunno, I tell them, "really, I don't have a clue, but it sure has been something. Actually, it is a scary mix of exciting and terrifying. Did you hear what that valet kid said to me when we got into the car?" Radar replies, "no, I heard him say something and I saw your reaction though, what did he say?" "Everybody was already in the car," I reply, "I fished a couple of ones out of my pocket and handed them to him and as he was closing the door he hesitated for a moment and said; _I wish I was you dude._ That's the first time anyone ever wished they were me...that I know about anyway." "Tru dat bro," Ben fires back with his now favorite outdated saying, but he and Radar laugh anyway. I continue, asking Ben, "what does Lacey have to say about all of this?" "I dunno," he answers, "we haven't talked about it specifically and she hasn't really said a whole lot about it." "What did she say," Radar asks, beating me to the punch. "Well...she kinda said she noticed that Avery was different around us." "Us," I reply, "which us are we talking about?" "You know...us," Ben says, "you, Radar, Angela, me...us." I just nod my head in acknowledgement. "I think she likes us," Ben says. "I think she views us from the; _are these people good for Lacey_ perspective and has come to the conclusion that we are...genuine?" For all of Ben's class clown, over the top act he is often the most perceptive of the three of us, and he nailed this one. Avery and Lacey are very close, like sisters. Avery is the big sister, often looking out for Lacey as best she can. "Makes sense dude," I say to Ben, "it explains a lot. "Yeah, Ben continues, "but it doesn't explain why you are going to New York to visit Avery." "What?...dude...you're going to New York to see Avery? Holy shit, what's that all about?" Radar exclaims. "Not sure...she really caught me off guard. Last night we were sitting on the couch talking and she said, _you're coming to New York for a visit, it will be fun._ She didn't say do you want to, or what do you think about, it was a statement...you're coming." Ben cuts me off, "was this before or after you two were curled up on the couch together sleeping?" I ignore Ben's jab and continue. "She sat down to talk to me, it was late, we were both gassed from the excitement of the concert and the Margaritas. When she said it I figured it was the liquor talking so it didn't really think much of it. She feel asleep right after that and I guess I did too at some point. This morning when I drove her to shop for stuff for the party, she said it again. I really don't know what to make of the whole thing...I guess I'll find out at some point in time." Radar is incredulous, "Holy shit," he says again, "she said it again when she was rested and sober? Are you going, what the hell did you say?" "Okay," I answer. "No-wait...no-wait-a-minute," Ben is beside himself now. "Avery effen Pemberton wants you to visit her in New York and all you could come up with is _okay?_ Really dude," Ben is rolling now, "there really is something wrong with you."

I'm about to tell them that Lacey told me she thought Avery was lonely when the kitchen door slides open and Lacey, Avery and Ashley emerge carrying a bunch of food. "Good news Q," a smirking Ashley says, "I volunteered you...you're the grillmaster and I'm you're assistant. Come on Q, let's fire up that grill and get cooking." "Whatever...fetch me my golden spatula," I say to Ashley." Ben, Radar and the three girls are laughing at me, they know I'll do whatever they ask. Ben starts, "normally, I would insist that Q be kept away from an open flame for his own safety and that of others, but he actually is pretty handy at the grill." "I know" Lacey replies, "we just heard all about how Q spent the afternoon waiting on Ashley, and grilling for her friends," she says with a little smirk. Ashley and I get to work. I fire up the grill while she gets the food ready, hamburgers, hot dogs, and chicken breasts. Lacey and Avery enlist the help of Ben and Radar in setting up the balance of the food and drinks on the deck. Avery thought of everything as there are plenty of snacks, salads, sides and drinks to accompany the grilled food. Lacey and Avery are working the blender, Ben is mixing the flavored martinis and Radar is distributing the cold beer.

Just as I did at Ashley's pool the other day, I begin to take orders for grilled food. As people request their burger with cheese or grilled chicken breast with BBQ sauce, I grill the food and toast the buns. I hand off the cooked orders to Ashley, waitress _par excellence_ who quickly distributes the grilled fare. We operate wordlessly like we have been working together for years, the only spoken words are when Ashley has a comment, most of which are barbs fired my way. It seems as though I haven't been cooking very long when in reality everyone who wanted grilled food has been accommodated. The chicken was a big hit with the girls. I never would have thought to buy chicken. I ask Ashley to walk around a little bit to see if anyone wants more food. There are a few stragglers which we quickly take care of, then I turn off the grill, and cover what little food remains. I initially attempt to return the plates to the kitchen, almost dumping them. Ashley takes a plate from me saying, "you would suck as a waiter," displaying her best wiseass smirk. "I could never be as good as the great Ashley Ramsey," I quickly reply.

"Shut up Q," she says as we head for the sliding door. We go into the kitchen, put the stuff in the fridge and I say to Ashley, "we worked well as a team, didn't we Ash?" "Yeah, we did," she replies, hands on her hips, eyeballing me for what seems to be the longest time. "Whaaaat? What did I do now?" I'm responding to her look. "I'm only kidding when I tell you to shut up, you know that don't you Q?" "Heck yeah," I reply. Everybody is alway riding my ass, why not you as well," I say. "But it doesn't bother you, I'm just doing it to tease you, right? "I get it Ash, if you didn't like me you wouldn't bust my balls, that's the way it works." Her demeanor suddenly changes, she becomes serious and says, "this is the first of many things you and I are going to do together before you go to school. I was so excited when you said you would come for me and talk to my parents. This is the best night of my summer, I wouldn't be anywhere near this party if it wasn't for you." "Happy to do it Ash," I tell her, "let's go outside and you can mingle." A moment of clarity strikes. I'm Margo, I say to myself, or at least I've become Margolike. I managed Ashley's escape from her overprotective parents clutches for a few hours and she seems to see it as a monumental occurrence, when in fact all that was required were a few words of reassurance to her mom and dad. Perception is so much of what makes Margo the persona she is. Ashley's perception of me is that I can talk to her parents for five minutes and she gets to do something they were reluctant to let her do, when in fact all they were looking for is a little reassurance from someone with whom they feel comfortable. In Ashley's eyes I'm the righter of wrongs working my magic. In her parents eyes I'm an older kid who's parents they know well promising to have her home safe by midnight.

We return to the festivities and as we are walking toward the pool she says, "by the way Q, you're off the hook with Lucy Hanratty. I told her friends the whole story about why I came to the party with you." "Good to know," I reply with a nervous laugh. "I spring you from prison and you provide me with a reprieve, a _quid pro quo_ if I've ever heard one. "I like Kayla and Kyra too," she says, "they're nice to me when I wait on them." I change the subject, not wanting to talk about Lucy, "even though I have work tomorrow, I'm gonna have a cold beer or two. Would you care for one?" "Yup," she quickly replies, "I'll have what you're having." Radar and Avery are standing by the cooler as I reach for the lid. "Wait Q," Avery says, I have something that is perfect for you, producing a device with bottle opener on each end, emblazoned with a beer company logo. Radar takes one look at it and starts laughing. "Perfect Avery," he says, "absolutely perfect." I get two icy Coronas out of the cooler use my new bottle opener, garnish each of the bottles with a lemon and hand one to Ashley. "We clink our bottles together and I say, "here's to a fun night." "That's what I was gonna say," Ashley replies then she takes a long drink. "Thanks Q, I'm gonna wander around here a little bit, we'll talk later," she says. I wonder what is so funny about a bottle opener, I assume this is a response to my dorky attempt to twist off caps that require an opener. I'm about ready to pocket my gift when it suddenly dawns on me what is so funny. The bottle opener is a _figit,_ a kids toy that was recently quite popular. The two opener heads spin around the center.

I start fooling with the thing, holding it between my thumb and index finger while spinning the bottle openers. It is mesmerizing, and I keep it spinning as my mind wanders, thinking about Avery and what she really means about visiting her. I think Lacey is right, she is lonely in New Jersey, plenty of acquaintances but no real friends. She admitted it to me in so may words. I wonder what Lucy is doing? I do worry that we will be able to pick up right where we left off that Sunday night, our last night before she went to the beach. She expressed the same concern to me several days ago, again in so many words. Even though I'm having a blast this week, I truly miss Lucy and wish she was here with me, doing all of this great stuff together. If I could leave right now and drive to Sea Island, I would. I would just get in the van and go, it wouldn't be the first time I've done that. I'm sure one can buy a toothbrush somewhere at Sea Island. I hope Ashley is relaxed and having fun. Everyone thinks she is crushing on me but I have a different take. I believe she senses that we are kindred spirits, that I have an understanding of what she endured growing up. I did have a comparable experience and I do understand exactly how she feels about a lot of things. She woke up one day and realized she was hot, now everyone wants a piece of her. We blow off graduation, take a road trip, find Margo and when we come home I'm a completely different person in everyone's eyes. I like to think I've handled it well, not so sure I have however. My mind, working overtime suddenly goes blank. This is the quietest party that I've ever attended, I say to myself, then I notice that I'm still spinning the figit opener and at least half of the people at the party are watching me spin the figit opener. Radar announces, "I told you it was perfect Avery, see how easily amused he is?" Everybody gets a good laugh at my expense...and I laugh with them too cause it's funny. Also, I realize once again how good it is to have friends who know you well.

I toss the bottle opener on top of the cooler. Everyone has lost interest in watching me zone out and they return to enjoying themselves. Something catches my eye, it's Radar opening the gate to the condo complex so Angela can enter. From my viewpoint she appears to be fine, but I head their way to see how she is holding up. That is exactly what I say to her. "Hi Angela, how are you holding up?" "Barely," she replies. "No Martinis tonight?" I ask, being a smartass. "Nope," she replies," "nor any other night...ever." Radar is laughing but he is staying out of Angela's line of sight, probably not a good idea to mock your girlfriend when she is hung over.

"I hear ya Ang...there is an excellent chance that I'll never drink wine again...ever." She smiles in knowing response as I continue, "you may feel like crap, but you look great Angela." Ever the proper young lady she replies, "why thank you Quentin. Tonight I may look good, but I don't feel well...but let's keep that between us." I laugh a little and nod my head in acknowledgement. I notice that two friendlies are swooping in on our position, Lacey and Avery. Angela is in the best of hands now so I wander off to find a spot so I can watch everything that is going on. This is what I do best...observe. I should see one or two interesting things that will be journal worthy.

A quick survey of the layout leads me to an appropriate spot for a watcher, the deck behind Lacey's kitchen door. There is a small table on the deck but no chairs, so I nab one from the pool area, sit and relax. First, I must to tend to Lucy. I grab the first person that goes by, a classmate, name unknown to me and ask, "dude, I need a favor," to which he responds, "sure Q, no problem." I hand him my phone and hastily recreate the pose that Lucy posted weeks ago, before I really knew her. The kid takes the pic, hands me the phone, "thanks," I say to him, "appreciate it." "Sure Q, no problem," the unnamed classmate says again and continues on with whatever it was that he was doing before I interrupted him. I post it on my private, one person feed with the caption, _same shit, different party!_ and off it goes to Sea Island. I'm sure she has already heard about Ashley coming with me to the party. Hopefully Kayla and Kyra will see it for what it is. I do notice that Ashley is with Kayla and Kyra, from my vantage point they appear to be talking and laughing. This is a good crew for Ashley to hang with, I think to myself. They're all still in high school, a little closer in age to her than I am. My phone buzzes, it's a picture of Lucy, 1000 watt smile full on with the caption; _me laughing at your joke!_ Well, she's still talking to me thank God. I'll be roasted about the Ashley thing at some juncture, Lucy won't let it pass, that's for sure. It is still very hot, even for Orlando in July and quite a few people are in the pool. Inhibitions lower as the alcohol intake rises...everyone is having fun. Angela, Radar and Avery are sitting together, Avery and Radar are having a long, animated conversation, interspersed with laughter. I can't even imagine what they are discussing, but I notice that there has been increasing interaction between those two as the week has unfolded. Great minds seek out each other I suppose. Ben and Lacey are working the room, that is circulating among all of the people in attendance, chatting them up and generally being good hosts. I'm feeling good, enjoying my watcher status and I'm not letting my mind wander too much or worry about things I can't control, like Margo...where the hell is she? I'm not worrying about the reception I'll get in Sea Island on Saturday. Either we'll pick up right where we left off or not. One thing I will take complete credit for is what appears to be tonight's successful righting of a wrong / fixer of the broken endeavor. I do feel good about it and maybe Margo was right to bequeath the task to me. I wonder who will assume this role going forward as I'm outta here soon enough...too soon I realize as I contemplate the last few days spent with my friends. Only two days until my road trip, I've been waiting weeks for this, barely able to contain my excitement. These next two days are gonna be hell. Time will pass as slowly as it did when I was stuck in those classrooms at the end of the year. I'm imagining how exhilarating it will be as I roll out of town on Saturday morning, that feeling of leaving it all behind as I head off for a great adventure.

Everyone should do what they do best, so as I continue to survey the party from my perch it dawns on me that I have company. Our beautiful and gracious host, Lacey Pemberton, has graced me with her presence. "I'm not even going to ask what you are thinking about Q," she says smiling. "Tonight it is all good stuff Lace, I'm not torturing myself tonight." "I assumed as much," she replies, "since you were sitting by yourself sporting a goofy little smile." She continues, "nice work with Ashley...she seems to have found some people she likes." "Thanks," I reply, "I'll never be as good as Margo, but I'm getting the job done." Lacey laughs at my comment but doesn't reply and for the longest moment neither of say anything. It is not an awkward moment though, Lacey and I understand each other very well and once again I marvel at how close we have become in such as short period of time. If feel like she has been my friend forever, and I hope she feels the same way about me. "What do you think they are talking about?" Lacey asks as she casts her gaze toward Avery and Radar chatting away. "No normal people want to know," I quickly reply, which makes Lacey laugh. "Also," I continue, have you noticed how much time they have spent talking since last night?" "I have noticed," Lacey says. "You know what else I've noticed?" she says as though she expects I know the answer. "That I'm the best best friend you ever had?" I quickly reply going for the cheap laugh, and laugh she does. "Yes Quentin, you are the best best friend ever...including Margo, but that's not tonight's topic. Tonight's topic," she continues, "is that I have noticed how much time my wonderful cousin Avery has spent fussing over you." I've seen her around my friends before, she is always pleasant and fun, but I've never seen her take to anyone before." "I love it Lace, I know that it is shallow and vain, but I really don't care. I love all the attention I receive from you. Avery? I find her both frightening and absolutely exhilarating and I love every minute I'm around her, but I'm not sure she has _taken to me._ It seems like toying with me is a more appropriate description." "Perhaps," Lacey replies, "but she really likes you Q, I can tell." "What kind of _really likes me_ are we talking about Lace? I respond. "She wants you to visit her in New York, right?" "She did say that," I reply. "Then she repeated it this morning after I had assumed it was just a comment made in the midst of all of the excitement last night." I continue. "My observation is that she seems to approve of us as your friends. Ben, Radar and I were talking about it earlier, you know...the Avery Pemberton stamp of approval if you will. Maybe you are right Lace, maybe she is lonely. She admitted as much to me in so many words." Lacey seems surprised as I say that and quickly asks, "what did she say?" "It was something along the lines of _seeing how close the five of you are since I've been here makes me realize that I have lots of acquaintances, but no real friends." "_ Really...she said that to you?" Lacey asks seemly surprised, then answers her own question. "Avery is very private Quentin," she is serious now. "She keeps stuff like that to herself which tells me even more that she has taken to you." You two haven't talked about it?" I ask her. "No, not yet...but you can be sure I'm gonna ask her now. You're going to New York to visit her aren't you?" Lacey asks in an you're an idiot if you don't tone of voice. "She will have so much cool stuff planned for when you visit, you have to do it Q." "So," I say in a subject changing way, "I'm really your best best friend Lacey?" Lacey leans over and whispers in my ear, "best friend ever," then kisses me on the cheek. Neither of us say anything for the longest time, I feel way too good to ruin the moment with words.

"Did you talk to many people from our class?" Lacey asks, breaking the silence. "I talked to more people from our class tonight than I have for the entirety of high school." She laughs at my answer and says, "l pretty much don't care what they all think anymore. Don't get me wrong," she continues, "I was happy to see them and enjoyed talking to everyone, but I realized tonight that I only want to be with people that I care for and who care for me." I break into a knowing grin saying, "words to live by Lacey." We return to our contented silence until Lacey says, "could it be any hotter? Come on Q, let's go in the pool, I promise not to pull you in this time." "Haha," you just caught me off balance," I say, now in tow towards the pool. "Yeah," she quickly replies, "off balance...twice as I recall." By this time we have reached the pool, Lacey is wiggling out of her shorts and I'm pulling my tee shirt over my head when she pushes me in the pool. She is laughing hysterically while I struggle to pull my wet tee shirt over my head. "You bastard!" I say but it is muffled as I wrestle with a wet tee shirt pulled over my head. Those who saw her do it are laughing like hell. "Must have been off balance again Q," she says in between bouts of laughing at me. While she is leaning over the edge of the pool to mock me, Ben comes up behind her and gives her a little nudge, just enough to tip her into the pool. She is completely unprepared for it and watching the look on her face change from mocking to startled as she realizes she is going in is priceless. Ben is standing next to the pool with an impish grin as if to say _I know nothing_. Everybody is laughing, especially me as she turns and levels her gaze at the culprit. "I'll get even with you Benjamin," she says. I'm laughing at Lacey and I can tell she is a little irritated that she was unceremoniously dumped into the pool, being Lacey Pemberton and all that. "What happened Lace," Ben answers wearing that smartass grin which is no doubt pissing her off, did you slip on the wet deck?" I'm really laughing at her now because Ben ambushed her and she is annoyed that the tables were turned on her. "Come in here so I can hold you under," she says to him, which makes me laugh even more. Lacey turns to me and says "Shut up, Q." She is smiling as she says it however. Not sure Lacey can ever be really mad. Upon hearing her threat to hold him under Ben jumps in the pool and she grabs him, "say goodbye to everyone before I drown you," then dunks him pretending to hold him under. "I can't drown him, he's too cute," Lacey says. Radar has appeared at the edge of the pool and says, "someone must be sacrificed for pushing the Princess into the pool." "How about Q," Lacey says, "he is expendable." Lots of laughter. "What...I'm expendable?" I plead to no one in particular. Also, everyone at the party is now watching this farce. "Citizens of Rome," Radar announces, extending his thumb sideways like the emperor at the coliseum. "Do we sacrifice Ben and make all of our lives less annoying?" Howls of laughter erupt. "Or," Radar intones he's into it now, "do we drown Q and make all of our lives less complicated?" More laughter at my expense. "What say you?" Some wiseass yells, "drown em both." More laughter and applause from the crowd. Ashley yells, "wait Radar, you can't drown Q, he's the best tipper at Vinny's. "Thanks Ash," I say, "at least I have one..." She cuts me off. "On second thought, go ahead and drown him, I'll get by." Radar dramatically gives us the thumbs down and Lacey dunks both of us pretending to hold us under. All partygoers got a good laugh courtesy of Radar and he got to roast both of us in front of everybody.

Everyone goes back to partying after the impromptu coliseum moment and I say to Lacey, "He's cute but I'm expendable...that's just not right." "You two are dead meat," she says to both of us. "I'll get even with you for pushing me in the pool and with you for laughing at me. Watch out, you never know when I will exact my revenge," she says. I couldn't help it Lace," I tell her. "The look on your face when you knew you were going in was a keeper." "The look on your face when I kick your ass is gonna be a keeper too Quentin." Ben and I are snickering as she says this then she continues, "Ben wants to know how comfortable that couch is Q, he's sleeping there tonight." "Now that's funny Lace," laughing as I say it. Radar, Angela and Avery appear, sensing that Lacey is getting a roasting. "So...I'm a princess," she says and Radar quickly replies, "indeed you are your highness." "Yeah well Princess Lacey is gonna kick the three of y'all's butts." This is awesome I say to myself, Lacey is on quite a roll.

Lacey is not mad at us, but she is annoyed because in reality, she is a princess. At the same time, I can tell she is enjoying being the target of some good natured fun. She sure is dishing it out well. I wonder if any other guy ever had the nerve to push her in the pool before, or actually gave a damn about Lacey in any way except trying to figure out how to get into her drawers. This is kinda interesting, but it all comes to a screeching halt when Ashley appears. "Quentin," she says, I hate to do this to you but I turn into a pumpkin in about twenty minutes." Everybody laughs at her joke. "No worries Ash, I have to work tomorrow anyway." The mere mention of work tomorrow generates an audible groan. "Yeah, I can't wait to get back to sorting and shredding obsolete files," I say. "Let me go say bye to a couple of people then we're outta here, Ok?" And off she goes for a moment. "Ben whispers to me, "hottest pumpkin ever," as she walks away. "So Lacey, I'm not banished from Casa Pemberton am I?" "Don't be silly Q, I can't get even with you if you're not around," she replies with a wiseass grin. "If I gotta go, there's no one I'd rather have off me than you Lace," which makes her laugh. "Seriously, Lacey...Avery thanks for a great party...a great couple of days...thanks for everything. You guys are the best," I tell them as Ashley comes back to get me. Ben and Radar quickly answer. One of them says, "gee thanks Q, I didn't know you cared so much," the other one a half beat off, "Q, that's so touching, I think I'm gonna cry." I look at Lacey and say, "I'm certain that it is times like this that make you wish you never talked to me in the hallway." "Bye Q," Lacey says in a _you got that right_ manner. Ashley hugs Lacey again and says, "thanks for inviting me," then hugs Avery saying, "thanks for the advice." She hugs Ben, hugs Angela, then hugs Radar saying, "thanks...goodnight everybody." "What, no hug for me?" I ask. Ashley looks at everyone, gives me the major eye roll and says, "shut up Q." She grabs me by the arm and pulls me toward the gate to howls of laughter.

Out through the condo gate we go and get into the van. "Sixteen minutes to get you home, Ash." She replies, "I'll text my mom and tell her we're on the way, that will hold her for awhile, and...you are the only person allowed to call me Ash." "Okaaaaay," I say as I steer the car through the streets toward our neighborhood. Ashley grabs her backpack, slips off her heels and wiggles out of her cut offs. She pulls out her mom approved shorts but before she puts them on I say attempting to be a smartass, "hold on a second Ash, let me burn into my mind, the image of you wearing that bikini." "Someday Quentin," she says as though she is peering into the future, "you are going to get as much of me as you can stand." She is looking at me with those dark brown eyes in a matter of fact manner, like she already knows what the future holds. I can't believe she just said that to me. Holy shit, I say to myself. I don't answer though, anything I say would definitely eff it up. I just smile at her in an _I'm all good with that_ kinda way and keep driving.

By the time we pull into our driveway, Ashley is wearing the outfit she had on when we left her house, sans headband. That came off when she went in the pool I assume, and her wavy dark brown hair has kinda exploded. "God, what an unruly mop," she says peering into the vanity mirror on the back side of the sun visor. "I like it...the unruliness is my favorite part," I tell her, which gets me the combination glare and eye roll. "Sometimes I just want to shave my head," she says, sure would make my life easier." "I'll throw myself under a bus if you ever do that," I respond. She actually laughs at my comment as we get out of the van and walk between the houses toward the tree line. Thankfully the Speigelman's party is either over or more likely retreated indoors to the air conditioning. We reach the pool and walk up on the deck, neither of us having said anything as we traversed the lawn. "Come in. You have to report to the warden," she suddenly exclaims, a little smirk breaking out as she says it. She reaches for the sliding door but it opens before she gets to the handle, obviously her mom was waiting for her. "Moaammm," she stretches it out in her best middle school tone. She is standing in the open door, I'm behind her. "I went out with friends for the night and shocker...I'm still alive." "Hi Mrs. Ramsey, did I make it back on time?" I say trying to smooth over the moment. "Oh, hello Quentin, I didn't see you standing there," she is eyeballing Ashley as she says this. "Ashley, don't just stand there, let Quentin in." She does so without comment, but I'll bet she is boiling inside. So, how was the party, did you kids have fun?" Her demeanor has done a 180, she is chatty now. I decide to do the talking to maintain civility. "It was a lot of fun, a good time was had by all," I continue. That's nice Quentin," Mrs. Ramsey replies, "I'm happy Ashley is finally meeting some nice people." "Oh my God mom, stop interrogating Quentin or he'll never come back." Ashley is so annoyed with her mom and I can't help but think that in two years when she graduates her mom will likely let up on her to a certain extent. "What happened to your hair?" Her mom changes the topic, not letting up on her anytime soon. "Swimming mom, it was a pool party, I went in the pool." Ashley is confrontational now. "Oh," she says, "okay," then pauses for a moment. "What bathing suit did you wear, I hope you didn't wear one of your _hoochice mama_ bikinis?" Rut roh, I say to myself. I've never heard the term hoochie mama before but I am certain that the white stunner Ashley wore tonight falls into that category. Ashley opens her backpack and pulls a bathing suit out of one of the pockets. It is a plain blue single piece swimsuit, swim team style, modest by comparison. She plops it on the kitchen island in disgust, saying "my burlap bag bathing suit was in the wash so I wore this one." What a move, I say to myself. The best part is she dipped the suit into the pool because it is wet as if she did indeed wear that suit tonight. I have to turn my head so Mrs. Ramsey can't see the huge grin plastered across my face. "Would you kids like some sweet tea?" Mrs. Ramsey asks swinging back from interrogator to pleasant. "Yeah mom, that would be good, you're thirsty, aren't you Q?" Her eyes are locked on to mine, I know exactly what to say. "Parched...sweet tea would be great Mrs. Ramsey." She gets two tumblers from a cabinet, fills them with ice then produces a cold pitcher of sweet tea, filling both tumblers. "Thanks mom, Ashley says with just a titch of sarcasm. I say, "thanks Mrs. Ramsey," a half beat off simultaneous a la Ben and Radar. "Goodnight Quentin, say hi to your mom and dad for me," Mrs. Ramsey says as she exits the kitchen. I raise my glass of tea and hold it out, Ashley does the same. We clink glasses together and I say, "nice," as I cast my gaze toward the swimsuit sitting on the kitchen island. Ashley has a conspiratorial smile on her face, but says nothing, anticipating parental eavesdropping.

I take a long drink of my sweet tea, I actually am a bit thirsty, set it down and say, "I have to get going Ash, work at 8:00 AM tomorrow for me." "Have a good time at the beach next week," Ashley says by way of a reply. She is looking at me in a matter of fact manner, as though we have previously discussed my trip to Sea Island. "Thanks Ashley, I will." I reply, not really knowing what else I should say. It is obvious, based on who she spent most of her time with tonight, that she knows all about my visit. She doesn't seem mad at me or disappointed but at the same time I think she wanted me to know that she knew what I was doing next week. "Come on Q," she says hopping out of her chair, "I'll walk you to the perimeter. The tower guards will shoot if I cross the tree line." As we walk around the pool and across the lawn just to break the silence I say, "so...that was fun tonight." "The taste of freedom," she quips, "I really enjoyed that tonight. I like your friends Quentin, they're really cool." I laugh at the thought of anyone suggesting Ben, Radar or myself is cool. Lacey and Avery made me feel welcome, they treated me like I was their long lost friend, it made me feel good. Angela's friends are so nice, I know them from Vinny's but that's the first time I was ever around them. I had fun hanging with them too." "Sounds like a successful evening to me," I say as we reach the tree line. She quickly replies, "for me or for you?" striking her default hands on her hips smirk on her face pose. "Yes," I say but nothing more and it takes her just a moment or two to realize I'm answering both questions. "A wrong has been righted...I heard all about your inherited mandate, Lacey explained it to me." As she says that she suddenly wraps her arms around me lays her head against my chest, holding on as hard as she can for the longest time. Finally she lets go, but doesn't move away. "I know you went out of your way to come for me tonight, I doubt that you had plans to come home this afternoon, but you did, and you did it for me." She has her arms around my neck now and her body is pressed tightly against mine, significantly raising my heart rate. "Tonight made my summer, I never would have been able to go to that party, meet those people and have some fun. To me you really are the great Quentin Jacobsen." I laugh at her calling me great. She has been doing that to mock me both times I've been around her but now she is intense, looking right through my eyes into my mind with those dark brown eyes. "I really want you to kiss me but I know you can't. You do want to kiss me don't you Q?" Are you effin kidding me? You're goddamn right I want to effin kiss you, I say to myself but she's right, I can't kiss her, it wouldn't be fair to Lucy. "Yes I do, but you're right, I can't," I answer. "Someday," she blurts out, "I'm gonna want you to kiss me and you're gonna kiss me," and with that she plants a quick one on my lips and takes off toward her house. "Goodnight Q," she yells, "I'll text you."

What the heck just happened? I say to myself as I walk through our yard toward the house. Good God she is as hot as Texas chili, I was on the verge of losing it, but I'm glad I kept my cool. Starting down that road wouldn't be right for a lot of reasons...regardless of how hot she is. I make it to my bedroom without any parental questioning, I'm certain that my mom saw me with Ashley...the interrogation will resume later. I lay down in my bed, but my mind is going a mile a minute. I begin to list all the reasons why I think played it smart tonight with Ashley. First of all, she is a terrific girl and has confided in me. Also, she is only 16, two years younger than I am and effectively still a high school sophomore. She is my neighbor and her parents know my parents. Most important, getting involved with her would be cheating on Lucy and it would be leading on Ashley who is young and vulnerable...which would then make me the kind of person I have long professed to despise...the kind of guy that Lucy had bad experiences dating. I can be as shallow, vain and selfish as the best of them, but that is not the kind of person I want to be.

Speaking of Lucy, I wonder when she is going to call, I think and as I do my phone buzzes. I answer...her pretty face fills my phone. "Great minds think alike...I'm laying here in bed thinking about you, hoping that you will call and here you are." "My mind is great, who is the other great mind...should I be talking to someone else?" Lucy is sporting her little grin, that little smile that originally attracted me to her and all at once I am overwhelmed by how much I want her. "Ha," I reply as I absentmindedly jump up and start wandering around the room. Lucy says, "are you in your room, what are you doing? It seems like you're spinning in circles." I'm pacing around my room, I'm so wound up I can't sit still. "It's here Lucy, it's finally here and I just hit me all at once, I finally get to see you. No FaceTime, no texts no Instagram or Snapchat...I going to see you, your beautiful 1000 watt smile." I'm on a roll now, "I imagine the moment I get out of the van and there you are, I'm hugging you, I can smell your summer cologne, I'm kissing you, you're kissing me back...in my mind it's just a moment away." Lucy's smile is lighting up my phone but a tear is forming on her cheek. "I miss you so much Quentin. I been so busy with all of this family stuff...it has been a distraction for me. Hearing you say that we will be together in a moment...God, you're right, I almost can't stand it." "It's only been three weeks since you left," I tell her, "but it seems like forever. It would be an understatement for me to say I'm excited about reacquainting myself with Lucy Hanratty." Upon saying that, her demeanor changes and her wicked little grin appears. "Yeah, well I'm so happy to hear that," she says in a wiseass manner. "I'm gonna reacquaint the shit out of you on Saturday Q," which makes me break into a giddy laugh. "OMG...I can't believe I just said that," she exclaims. It's true...but I can't believe I said that to you." "I'm all good with the reacquainting Lucy," I quip. "I'll bet you are, she quickly replies. "You boys are all the same, only thinking about one thing." I'm already acting silly, a combination of too much fun, too much liquor and not enough sleep plus the anticipation that I'll see Lucy soon, so I start giggling...yeah, that's right, giggling like a little kid. It's contagious, obviously because Lucy begins to laugh as well. This sets off hours of laughing, talking and goofing around as if she never left. Those three weeks have instantly evaporated, I feel as though she is right here with me. She feels the same way, told me exactly that and we continue to talk well past 3 AM.

An obnoxious sound is ringing in my ear, what the heck is that, I say to myself as I gather my senses and remember that I set my phone alarm for 7:12 AM. "Oh, crap." I say aloud at the stark reality of work in about 50 minutes hits me. I roll out of bed...literally, I roll over to get up but still sleepy and disoriented, I roll off the edge of my bed and fall on the floor with a muffled thump. I'm laying on my bedroom floor, tangled in my blanket and sheets thinking this is a perfect way to start this day. After a few minutes of feeling bad about my lot in life... _why can't every day be like the last few days?_ I summon the strength to get up and going. I have the drill down perfectly now, fifteen minute shower, shave and clothes change, yup...slept in my clothes once again, then orange juice and pop tart to go for breakfast. I'm in my van and headed for work, arriving with a few minutes to spare.

Unfortunately, no work gremlins broke into my dad's office over the holiday and sorted any files as everything is exactly where I left it before the holiday. The unsorted files appear to have multiplied, perhaps they divide like amoebas, leaving me with twice as much work as when I left. I dive right in to the task at hand, but first I must address something. There's the text from Lucy.

3:37 AM

Lucy: Miss you.

Read 8:07 AM

She's out for her morning run I say to myself as I key my response...but not the response I always send.

8:07 AM

Q: I'll see you in a moment.

I return to my mindless job. I'm not thinking about anything, not today. I'm going to work all day today, go home, talk to Lucy, get some sleep. Work all day tomorrow, go home, talk to Lucy, get some sleep then on Saturday I'll be at Sea Island. It's as simple as that, I'm not going anywhere, not doing anything and most importantly, not thinking about anything until I reach the beach. If I set my mind to it, I can make these two days go by in a moment. This condition lasts less than five minutes however because I realize that Avery is leaving sometime over the weekend and if I don't say goodbye to her she will either hunt me down and kill me, or hire someone to do so. "So," I'm talking aloud to myself now, hopefully no one walks in and decides that I need a long weekend at the funny farm. "No worries, Friday after work, I catch up with Lacey and Avery, thank her for one of the best weeks I've ever had, say a proper goodbye then head home for a good night's rest." I switch off my brain for the balance of the day and before I know it my dad pokes his head in the office, "it's twenty after five Quentin, why don't you get out of here, I'll close up." "Really?" I say to my dad, I wasn't paying attention, time is flying by today. I quickly check my phone, nothing. So far so good. I go right home, park the car, head through the house telling my mom I'm not hungry, into my bedroom and hit the rack. I'm gassed beyond description after these last few days, I really need some sleep and sleep I do. I'm out before my head hits the pillow.

I become aware that there are unknown persons in my bedroom, they are whispering, I can't make out who they are or what they are saying. This dream is different than the Agloe dream, I think. Suddenly, I'm able to identify them, it is two dickheads...aka Ben and Radar. "Really?" I say, but they ignore me and continue to focus on GTA. I pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. I'll talk to them later, I need some Z's. I eventually wake up, I'm groggy and it's dark outside, I must have been asleep for a few hours. "Q," Ben enthusiastically says as though he hasn't seen me in a week, "so glad you could make it." "We thought you were in a coma," Radar says, chuckling as he says it. "I sorta was," I reply still a little disoriented from sleep. "Cause of coma, too much fun," Radar adds..."and too many hotties who want a piece of you bro," Ben says. What the fuck are you guys doing here, did Lacey and Angela finally come to their senses and dump you two assholes?" I can picture it...Lacey and Angela together... _we're dating who?_...as they come to the horrifying realization that they are dating Ben and Radar. "No way bro, but Lacey has figured out that she is dating the guy with the worlds biggest balls," Ben says, laughing at his oft repeated joke eliciting groans from Radar and I. "I'll bet Lacey really loves hearing about your big balls," I say to Ben. "Nah...pretty much not allowed to say that around her," he sheepishly answers. "You're not allowed to say it around us either," Radar quips. "No, really, what are you guys doing here?" I ask again. "Girls night out," Ben answers. "Avery is leaving on Saturday so they're going for a last supper I suppose." "Ben's dream week is rapidly coming to a close," I say, looking at Radar who chuckles at the comment. "Sure is," Ben replies laughing. "Joe and Janet will be back on Saturday and I'll be out on my ass. Then it's back to Casa Starling...oh well." "Dude," Radar says, "can we come here next week while you're away to play GTA?" "Whatever," I reply...they'll do it anyway. My mom will let them in without a second thought.

They continue to play GTA while all of this talk is going on and neither of them bother to ask if I want to play, so I just roll over, pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. Not sure when they left, but I am awakened by my buzzing phone. "I answer it with a simple "hi." "Lucy is smiling, the full 1000 watts, "hi Q," she says, "I loved what you texted me this morning." "Now it's only a half a moment away," I tell her. "I have one more day of work, I'll come home, get my stuff together, get my car ready to go then before you know it...before you finish your run, I'll be there." She is beaming as she talks, telling me about her day, what we are going to do when I get there and just like last night, we are talking and laughing like we have never been apart. I'm trying to stay calm but I'm starting to amp up at the thought of getting in the van and leaving Orlando behind, if only for a little while. Hours go by in what seems like minutes and I am once again awakened by my phone alarm, set for 7:12 AM.

2:58 AM

Lucy: Miss you, even if you are only a half moment away.

Read 8:08 AM

As soon as I arrive at the office I text Lucy.

8:08 AM

Q: One half of one moment and I'll no longer have to miss you more.

Today, the last day before I leave for Sea Island, is a repeat of the day before. Work goes by in a flash and I'm home before I know it however I did remember to take my iPad along to work, I'm kinda feeling a journal entry.

 **6 July, 2017. A wrong has been righted, or more precisely the broken has been fixed, or let's say under repair. The job I didn't want, bequeathed to me by Margo might not be so bad after all. Besides, I onLy hold the position until WPHS opens for the fall semester. I have observed a curious phenomena. Although we graduated in May, we are still considered seniors in the social world we inhabit. My friend Lucy is still considered a junior, and my neighbor Ashley, is still considered a sophomore. All designations will instantly advance on the first moment of the first day of high school, and that is the day that we, the 2017 class are officially gone and forgotten, scattered across the vast landscape of higher education, never to be the same again. The entire high school hierarchy will evolve. Someone else will assume my duties, actually Margo's duties, and life will go on. I did learn something about Margo yesterday. Specifically, how easy it is to be the righter of wrongs. In most instances, it is a matter of perspective. From my point of view, a few reassuring words to Ashley's mom and she allows Ashley to attend the party with me. To Ashley, I'm a magician, the righter of wrongs who broke her out of prison for the evening. Perspective...I must learn to keep things in perspective regardless of the situation. I believe if I do so, it will serve me well. Margo is long gone but she is still shaping me. I remain confidant Q, but maintaining perspective is this weeks lesson.**

 **Tomorrow I leave on my second road trip of the year...this one has been planned well in advance however. I'm excited to go for several reasons but one of them is the exhilaration I will feel as I set off for my beach adventure, leaving Orlando and everyone here behind...for a little while anyway. Even though I'll be gone for only a week, like Margo, I won't look back as I'm driving out of town. I have observed a lot this week but I have little time to write about it. More later.**

Tonight I'm dining at home with my parents, they insisted. I'm sure they want to chat me up before I leave for Sea Island. I have to see Avery tonight to say goodbye, she leaves sometime on Saturday, but I'll be long gone by the time the girls wake up on Saturday. I have to get my car ready, get my stuff together and I'm on my way. I'm excited already...I have nothing left to do, no days or weeks to hold me back, I'm leaving tomorrow to spend time with a beautiful girl who wants me as much as I want her. It may have taken eighteen and a half years but I finally found one. That this falls into _the even a blind squirrel finds an acorn from time to time_ category goes without saying, but none of it matters. I'm stoked for this trip.

I'm sitting at our kitchen island with my parents, ready for dinner. In the not too distant past, this was a nightly occurrence, but over the last year, especially over the last few months, we've rarely dined together. This can be attributed to all of the stuff going on in my life plus the general notion that I can take care of myself. I'll be leaving for college in several weeks anyway so family dinners are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. Despite my reluctance to discuss the details of my life with my parents, it's not like I can't stand them, in fact it is quite the opposite. I'm more than happy to discuss any other topic with them. My parents are great and I love them...I just need to keep them at arms length.

My dad grilled steaks and my mom prepared veggies and rice along with a salad for dinner, pretty good for a last meal I think and make a joke about it. "I'm not going on death row mom, I'm going to the beach for a few days." She smiles but she is irritated. "Quentin," she NEVER calls me Q...ever. "I'm just trying to have a nice meal for the three of us so we can sit and talk over dinner." Translation: _"I'm a trained professional and so is your father. We are going to attempt to extract every ounce of information that we can about Lucy Hanratty, Ben and Radar, Angela Robertson, Lacey Pemberton, her cousin from New Jersey, Margo, and our neighbor Ashley Ramsey about whom we know absolutely nothing. Other than that, enjoy your dinner._

We do have an enjoyable dinner, I kinda miss this, the three of us talking over dinner. I'm reminded that a simple ritual which I took for granted for my entire life won't be taking place very often going forward. Just another reminder of how much my life has changed...and how much more it is going to change in the immediate future. They do ask about everybody but it is not an interrogation, it is more matter of fact. My parents have known Ben and Radar forever, they've met Lacey and they think she's terrific, especially my mom. The same can be said for Lucy, having met her a few times, they think she's great, and my mom remembering Lucy's dad from her high school days helps too. The one person they do want to discuss is Ashley Ramsey, in their minds she seemed to come out of nowhere, which is accurate. Three months ago, none of us knew she existed. We talk about the Ramseys a little bit, my mom recounting how she used to see Mrs. Ramsey regularly but not so much over the last few years. "Quentin," she asks point blank, there has to be more going on between you and Ashley Ramsey than you know her from Vinny's?" Ah yes, the little used frontal assault, I say to myself. My mom is usually more subtle. "Well, yes and no mom," I reply. "I really had no idea who she was other than the waitress at Vinny's, and I had no idea that she lived behind us. She knew who I was though. She is 16 1/2 and she wants to go places and do things but her mom and dad are very protective of her. I'm her exit strategy. Lacey invited her to the cookout the other day, but her parents wouldn't let her drive or even go unless she went with me. I had to go to the Ramsey's to tell them about who was hosting the cookout and promise to have her home by 12. They were all good with that, I'm sure you saw me walk across our yard with her." "We did," my mom replies. "She is a nice kid who wants to break out a little bit," I tell them. Not sure they are buying it but it is fairly close version of the truth, I say to myself as the talk quickly swings to my trip. "Are you excited to visit Lucy?" "Can't wait to get there," I tell them. "I'm getting everything ready tonight so I can leave really early tomorrow." The only other thing I have to do is swing by Lacey's and say goodbye to Avery. She is leaving tomorrow as well. The balance of the dinner consists of my dad warning me to drive safely and not to speed. My mom tells me to ask Mr. Hanratty if he remembers her and to say hi. I promise to do as they ask...say hi and drive safely.

I thank my mom for dinner and excuse myself as I do have a few things to accomplish if I'm leaving early in the morning. I clean out and wash the van, fill it up with gas, then return home to get my stuff together. I need a duffle bag and my backpack for this trip. Shirts, shorts, tee shirts, underwear and bathing suits. I pack my hand picked by Lacey outfit which my mom already washed from the other night, my sneakers, including my new Lacey approved sneakers, deck shoes and flip-flops. I quickly gather my toothbrush, razor and all of the that stuff, putting it in a small WPHS drawstring bag I got for something in school. I'm ready to go...I've been waiting three weeks for the moment that is all but upon me and I couldn't feel any better. I text Lucy:

8:01 PM

Q: My stuff is in the car, it's clean and filled with gas, I'm leaving as soon as I wake up tomorrow.

Lucy: Wake up early!

Wow, four exclamation points...this week is gonna be awesome, I say to myself.

Q: You can count on it. I'll be driving before you leave for your run.

Lucy: And you'll be driving after I finish my run too :)

Q: I'm so excited for tomorrow that I'm planning on ignoring the speed limits.

Lucy: Unlikely, but I'll take you when I can get you, just get here.

Q: FaceTime later?

Lucy: Yup.

Read 8:01

One last item and I'm clear for liftoff.

8:04 PM

Q: What are you guys doing?

Lace: Nothing, the three of us are sitting here wondering where the heck you are?

Q: Give me five minutes

Lace: Alrighty.

Read 8:04 PM

Bittersweet...that is the best description of how I feel about what I am doing. I have to say goodbye, but I don't want to. What I want is to come back from the beach and find that Avery is still here, but that's not happening. She is leaving tomorrow and despite all of the talk and all of the promises, I well may never see her again so I must say goodbye...and thank you for a whole lot of things. Not just dinner and concert tickets, they were great but I'm talking about saying thank you for a long list of things that count. The next time I'll even have an opportunity to see her is this time next year. A lot can happen in a year, but this upcoming year is going to change everything. We're all going to our separate schools in about six weeks. Will Ben and Lacey be dating next year? Will we all be spending the summer in Orlando next year? Will Lacey and I still be friends next year? Will Avery return to visit next year? The odds that _no_ is the answer to one or more of these questions is overwhelming. The vows to _stay in touch,_ or the promise that _we'll always be close,_ are just talk versus the reality of everything that can change in a year's time...Bittersweet.

Having made myself feel miserable in the short period of time it has taken me to get to Lacey's I text her to pop open the gate. A moment later it does and I approach the front door with trepidation. I open the door and walk through the foyer. They are in the kitchen as usual and as soon as I appear the roasting begins. "So...you really are blowing us off to hang at some tony beach resort with another girl," Lacey says. Avery piles on. "Tomorrow is my last day here and you are ditching me to hang with a bikini model, I won't forget that." "That's okay," Lacey continues, "we're only your friends...we enjoy being left in the dust, anything for you Quentin." Ben says, "bikini model...sweeeeet," drawing dagger like stares from both Pemberton girls. "Great," I finally reply. "I'm already feeling miserable before I even get here and you guys are making me feel like a real chump." "What happened...what's wrong Q?" the girls ask in unison. Their demeanor has changed in an instant. "Did something go wrong with Lucy?" Avery asks. You're still going aren't you Q?" Lacey continues. They have both assumed their _under my wing_ persona. "Yeah, yeah...it's all good," I tell them. "I feel bad because you're leaving and I won't be here tomorrow to see you off, so I have to say goodbye tonight. Also, when I come back, you'll be gone...and that sucks. Avery eyeballs me for a second or two and replies, "why all the melodrama? You're acting like I'm leaving forever." That's exactly it Avery, I have this sinking feeling that our paths will never cross again, I can't shake it and that is what is making me miserable." "Oh my God Q...shut up. I'll see you sometime in the fall, New York...remember? I have your digits, we'll talk about the details once you get set at school. I'm thinking fall break." "I'm good with that Avery," I say as she leaves the room and goes upstairs. "I guess that wasn't well received," looking at Ben and Lacey as I say it. Neither of them say anything for the longest time, which is the equivalent of saying _you're right Q, that was not well received,_ making me feel even worse. They are sitting close to each other as usual and I've grown so accustomed to seeing it that sometimes I forget how unlikely a pairing this appeared to be just a few months ago. Finally, Ben pipes up, I'm sitting with them but he is focused only on Lacey. "I believe Avery is disappointed that we all couldn't be together for her last night here, don'tcha think Lace?" "Yeah, you're right sweetie," she replies, zeroed in on Ben. "She had a great time this week, I can tell. Last couple of years she was ready _to bounce_ by the end of her week here." We all laugh at Lacey's spot on description of her cousin and the laughter brings Orlando's most unlikely perfect couple back from wherever it was they were. "Where's Radar and Angela?" I ask. "Dinner at JPark with the in-laws," wiseass Ben responds, drawing a little frown from Lacey who then explains. "It's Angela's parents 20th wedding anniversary today, they're celebrating." "Ohhhh," I reply, "I'd like to be a fly on the wall during that dinner."They both laugh then Lacey adds, "I don't think there are any flies at JPark." "Well anyway," l say to return to the original topic, "Avery probably can't wait to get the hell out of here but I'm sure gonna miss her." Neither of them respond, they are both looking past me. "She's standing right behind me, isn't she?" They both nod in the affirmative. As she slides into the chair next to me, dangerously close, and says sarcastically, "Thanks Q, I'll always have that to hold on to for the balance of the summer." Everyone laughs again and suddenly we are talking about different stuff.

They explain how they spent the morning cleaning the house then paying the cleaning service extra to give the whole house a professional cleaning, intended to eradicate all evidence of a week's worth of partying. "I spent the week in Aunt Janet and Uncle Joe's room," Avery explains. "I wanted to make sure everything was perfect before they get home." "Same with the kitchen," Ben continues, "we really messed up the kitchen this week and they cleaned it well. I have all of the extra liquor in my car...except for this." _This,_ is a bottle of raspberry vodka which they are mixing with cranberry juice to make martinis. "Want one Q?" Ben says, they're really good," and with that he pours the red tinted liquid into a glass not giving me time to answer the question. I take a swig and say, "they are," and we all continue to babble on about nothing as if it was any other summer night and Avery wasn't going anywhere. Avery and Ben begin talking and laughing about some unknown topic and I'm about to join in but Lacey catches my eye and says, "are you all ready to go Q." "All I have to do is get up in the morning and go. I have all my stuff in the car. I doubt I'll get any sleep, I'm stoked beyond belief for this week." "I'm so excited for you Quentin." As she says this she stands up and walks into the den turning to give me the _you're supposed to know that I want to talk to you so why aren't you following me_ look. This is the part about women that I'll never figure out...that look, the _you should know what I'm thinking_ look. Not that I have long experience dealing with women, quite the opposite...I have very little experience. I am well aware of my inability to know exactly what a woman is thinking and to respond appropriately. I'm just trying to muddle through most of the time.

Lacey is in the den and I'm a few steps behind her "Quentin," she says turning to face me. This sounds serious I say to myself. "I really want everything to go well for you and Lucy. She seems to be a great girl and it is obvious that you really like her." Ashley is right I realize, Lacey is a kind person, she always wants the best for her friends. "I do really like her Lacey," I reply. "What about her Quentin, does she really like you too?" That's two _Quentins_ in less than a minute I say to myself, something is on her mind that's for sure. "Lucy and I talked about this the last two nights," I explain. "I was worried that we have not seen each other in three weeks and maybe we wouldn't click like we did that weekend we spent together. She was worried about the same thing, and told me so, but as my trip date approached we both became very excited to see each other...the anticipation is killing me and Lucy too, if I'm reading her correctly." "That's a good sign Q," Lacey the relationship expert says, "she's not hedging or hinting about not coming or anything like that?" Raising her voice tone to form the question. "No Lace, really, it's quite the opposite. She keeps telling me to get my butt out of bed at 5AM tomorrow so that I'll be there when she gets back from her morning run. Also," I continue, "there is a slow driving jab in there as well." That makes Lacey smile for a second then she returns to serious, concerned Lacey. "Quentin," that's three _Quentins_ I say to myself, "do you remember when I told you I could guide you in certain situations?" "I do Lace. I can assume that my impending trip to the beach falls into the _certain situations category?"_ She doesn't answer. She continues, signifying the affirmative. "This is new territory for you, but I've lived this a few times. You're going to spend a whole week with her, at her house with her parents. I know you're excited to see her but keep your head on a swivel. You believe that everything is going to be awesome, and so do I. I've been burned before Quentin, so I've learned to watch for fire." Lacey pauses for a moment to gather her thoughts as is her custom when the conversation is meaningful. "What I'm trying to do is spare you some of the heartbreak I've experienced. Most of the time, things aren't as they appear...or as you want them to be." There is a long silence, again not awkward but the comforting silence one experiences when you are with a true friend. "There is something about my impending beach visit that you don't like," I say. "No, Quentin, that's not true," she replies too quickly. "It's the picture isn't it?" Lacey lowers her gaze and smiles coyly...I busted her. "Yeah Q, it's the picture. I didn't like what I saw in that picture so that's why I'm cautioning you to remain aware." She starts giggling a little then says, "I think you're too wide eyed and you think I'm jaded?" Raising her voice tone to form the question. Before I can respond she answers her own question, "Fair enough," Lacey says. "Be aware but don't be jaded," to which I quickly reply, "words to road trip by." Lacey laughs and envelops me in a tight embrace whispering to me, "l know your trip will be great."

We walk back into the kitchen and Ben says, "geez Lace, he's going to the beach for a week not federal prison." Everybody laughs. "You weren't that worried when I left for orientation," Ben adds. "True...but I really like him," she says wrapping her arm around me. Everybody laughs, but it takes an extra second for Ben to get the joke. He is so into Lacey that he can't even joke about it, illuminating one of my many long term worries. "Come on Q, finish your drink," Ben says. I take one more sip, it isn't even half finished and say, "time for me to go, I'm leaving really early tomorrow." I turn to Avery, she has a neutral look on her face. "Avery, thanks for everything this week, and I do mean everything, not just the dinner and the concert." She doesn't say anything, so I continue. "I'm really glad you came here and I'm really glad I met you. It seems like you had a good time, I hope that you did." Avery stands up and gives me a perfunctory hug, then musses my hair like I'm a kid. "I did have fun. I'm glad I came this year.

Have a good time at the beach Q, I know you will," she adds. "Thanks," is all I can muster, a tad miffed. I turn to leave, another hug from Lacey, fist bump from Ben and I head through the foyer and out the front door.

Once outside the condo I say to myself...well, so much for Ben and Radar's theory of Avery crushing on me, and I have to admit to myself that I'm disappointed. Even though I'm a realist and understand that nothing is there, a guy can imagine. I open the outside gate and walk along the sidewalk next to the complex wall. I hear the steel gate clang as it closes and I turn my full attention to the beach. Liftoff is in a mere six hours and I couldn't be any more fired up than I am now. I'm almost at the van, I don't hear the gate open, but I do hear "Quentin...Q...wait," as Avery bursts through the gate, running towards me. I turn halfway and wait for her upon hearing her voice. "Quentin," she begins, and as she says that she places her hands on my chest, right below my shoulders. I'm certain that I have a dopey look on my face because she smiles a smirky smile for a moment then continues. "I'm terrible at things like goodbyes, I know how it looks, like I don't give a damn about anybody, but that's not true." By now she has kinda backed me against the wall, hands still on my chest. "I really, really suck at expressing my feelings," she is slapping her hands against my chest as she says _really, really_ for emphasis. "Perhaps you may have noticed." That comment makes me smile and I quickly reply, "I've said this to you before but it bears repeating, I've never met anyone like you Avery." "You know how Lacey always tells you she loves you like a best friend?" Now she has her arms around my neck and she is pressing against me, I feel fear and exhilaration equally as I nod my head, too stunned to speak. She pulls herself as close to me as she can and whispers in my ear, "that's how I feel about you too, but it's really hard for me to open up to others." I feel so much better that you told me Avery," I reply looking right at her, "because I love you in that best friend kinda way too." Then something happens that really stuns me and sets my mind spinning. She kisses me...just like she did in the Hard Rock Cafe parking lot. It is a hot, passionate kiss. This time I don't stop...because I can't, she is going to have to stop. Finally she does but she is burning a hole right through me with her baby blues. "Maybe," she pauses for a long moment, "I just fucking love you period," and kisses me again for what seems to be forever. We finally stop kissing and she's is backing away from me towards the gate saying, "Q...you, me, New York, fall break. Just the two of us...it will be fun, I'll message you. Bye Q," she says and disappears through the gate as it clangs shut.

I'm borderline hyperventilating. A surge of excitement exploded when Avery and I kissed and is still reverberating through my body. I find myself sitting in my car, motor running but I don't remember getting in the car or how long I've been sitting here. I put the car in gear and drive home. I'm in complete sensory overload. I can't think about what just happened, I'll think about it tomorrow. It's a short drive home and by the time I arrive I've calmed myself. I go inside, into my room and lay on the bed, phone in hand. My thoughts have returned to Lucy and how we will be together in a matter of hours. One thing is certain, I won't be getting any sleep tonight.

She calls sooner than I expect, I take it as a good sign. "A few hours," I say accepting the call, I'll be there in a few hours." There she is smiling, her 1000 watt smile beaming from my phone screen, but she doesn't say anything because I don't give her a chance. "I can't wait to see your smile close up, brush your hair aside with my hand, pull you close to me, and smell your summer cologne. "She giggles, "the earlier you get up, the sooner you get here. I'm excited to see you Quentin, what time are you leaving?" How about now?" I reply. "That would be awesome she says but you might fall asleep at the wheel and I have big plans for you so I need you in one piece." "That really makes me want to leave now," I quickly reply. "Get some sleep, get up early and get going. The drive is about 3 hours, closer to 4 hours for you," Her wiseass grin is on display now. "Haha," I reply, "we'll see how long it takes me." She ignores my comment and continues, "I-4 east to I-95 north Q...but you've driven that way before so you'll be familiar with the road." She says it in a matter of fact way, but I'm certain the intent is a jab at Margo. I act as though the comment went over my head. "I have it locked in my phone Lucy. I have all my stuff in the car and I'm ready to roll. I'll be up early and out of here. I'm too excited to sleep." Me too." Lucy changes the subject, "what did you do today?" "Nothing. I worked all day, it flew by. I had dinner with my parents, they weren't too terribly awful with the questions. I got everything ready, took the car out for gas, swung by Lacey's to say goodbye to her cousin and here I am." I omit the portion of the evening where I was making out with Avery, which even though it occurred only an hour ago, doesn't seem to me as though it really happened. I'm stuffing that moment into the deepest corner of my brain. That will never happen again anyway. Avery is just a crazy Jersey girl. She probably forgot about it already. "Great Q, I spent the whole day doing nothing...it was terrific," she tells me then proceeds to explain every detail of her nothing day. I'm okay with this, I love listening to Lucy talk, and talk she does for about an hour. Finally she says, "I'm getting off, get some sleep, get going early." "That's the plan Lucy." "Message me when you leave so I have an idea when to expect you. Call me when you are close," she adds. "I thought this day would never come," I say to her, "but here it is...the day I can say _see you tomorrow, Lucy"_ "Tomorrow is gonna be a terrific day Q, I just know it, drive safely, get here, I can't wait to see you." With that, she ends the call.

I've been awake longer than I anticipated. I was hoping to be asleep by this time, but I probably won't sleep at all. So many things to think about, but only one thing occupies my thoughts. Lucy, and the week ahead. I can't wait to see her, by the time I get there I'm gonna be jumping out of my skin I'll be so excited. Everything else that has been going on in my life has been back burnered, including that unlikely encounter with Avery, which has outlier status anyway. I wonder what prompted her to come out after I left? I doubt I'll ever...I awaken in the tall grass in Agloe. Margo is laying on her side with her leg thrown over mine, her arm across my chest and her head resting comfortably on my shoulder. She is sound asleep, I can feel her measured breathing on my neck. It is exactly as I imagined it to be at Sea World. I think I heard her voice, "Margo," I whisper, "did you say something?" She's sound asleep and doesn't respond. I'm watching the grass sway in the breeze and again I hear her voice. "Quentin, where are you? You said you would come for me." I look at her and she is staring right past me at some unknown horror, a look I've seen before. "Margo," I'm trying to wake her up but she won't move. Again, I hear Margo's voice. "I need you Quentin, where are you?" But her mouth isn't moving. Her face now appears battered bruised and swollen, her eyes still looking past me at the unseen horror. "You said you would come for me if I needed you but you didn't." Her voice continues. "It's too late now, I'm dead Quentin, dead..and it your fault." As I hear that I realize Margo's battered, lifeless body is lying on top of me.

I'm jolted awake...Margo is dead! I'm sitting upright in my bed drenched in sweat, gasping for air. In a moment or so I realize that it is simply another version of the godawful nightmare I have been enduring since my return from Agloe. I thought I put this nightmare behind me once I made contact with Margo. A sense of foreboding overwhelms me...what if Margo is in trouble, what if she does need me. I get out of bed and sit at my desk looking out the window, my portal to Margo. I flip open my laptop, nothing from mRs3324 . I'm staring out the window into the darkness trying to remember when it was I last spoke to her. It was Monday...last Monday morning...just a few days ago when she actually called me, that two minute call. It was so good to hear her voice. Then I recall her email when she said you won't be hearing from me for a little while, don't worry, I'm fine. It's just a dream Quentin, a horrifying dream, but it's just a dream, my mind playing games with me.

I continue to stare out the window and the predawn light in the eastern horizon catches my eye. I check my phone, 4:45 AM. "Zero hour," I say aloud to no one. I hit the shower, get dressed, walk quietly through the house, through the garage and out to my car parked in the driveway. I can feel the excitement building as I climb into the driver's seat and insert my key into the ignition. The predawn light is rapidly filling the eastern sky. I pick up my phone, cue up Lucy's digits and enter three capital letters.

Today 5:09 AM

Q: OTW

I switch on the ignition, back out of the driveway and head for I-4. This time I didn't have to drift the car out of the driveway with the doors open and the lights off as we did the night of the revenge tour. Just thinking about that night brings a smile to my face. That is Margo at her best. Having been on the receiving end of Margo's less attractive sides, I much prefer her best side.

This is exciting, driving away from Orlando, leaving it all behind. I'm not looking back, only forward to a cool adventure, what did Lacey call it... _new territory_ for me. This is how I felt that last day of school when I dumped the contents of my locker in the trash, and walked out of school, never to return. I know this is how Margo felt when she left Orlando, never to return. It is exhilarating. I enter the I-4 eastbound on-ramp and hit the interstate at full speed. I'm so pumped for this trip and I'm so excited to see Lucy. I don't know what is going to happen when I get there, but I really don't care. I plug my phone into the Bluetooth contraption which allows me to listen to my playlist on the car stereo. The next song up makes me smile. I turn up the volume and sing along at the top of my lungs to The Killers _Mr. Brightside. "_ How apropos," I say aloud, "what could possibly go wrong?"

From the writer:

Not sure anyone made it to this point without passing out from disinterest or dying of boredom, however to those hearty souls remaining, Chapter 10, _Surf's Up_ is well under way. Quentin is living his dream life but the first of this summer's many curveballs is headed Quentin's way, testing much of what he thinks he knows about himself. Some friendships are strained, others are forged and Margo? Well, read onI'll have it finished sooner or later.


End file.
